Jessica White, who we expect to appear in next week’s new Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, figured out a surefire way to get the people who pick the cover’s attention by wearing completely see-through clothing to a benefit concert at Carnegie Hall. In other news, what the fuck kind of outfit is that anyway?

Now we know that Jessica Perez will be in this year’s edition because she won their model search. And we know that Kate Upton is slated to appear again this year, but is she going to get the cover as most people believe (or hope)? And will she top last year’s ridiculous outtakes?

Here are your cover model odds…
Cintia Dicker 75-1
Kenza Fourati 65-1
Alyssa Miller 60-1
Bruna Schmitz 54-1
Michelle Money 46-1
Damaris Lewis 40-1
Irina Shayk (last year’s cover model) 32-1
Shannan Click 28-1
Kim Glass 25-1
Ashley Hebert 24-1
Julie Henderson 22-1
Hilary Rhoda 20-1
Chantal O’Brien 18-1
Brooklyn Decker 17-1
Anne Vyalitsyna 16-1
Jessica White 15-1
Chrissy Teigen 14-1
Esti Ginzburg 12-1
Izabel Goulart 10-1
Leryn Franco 8-1
Jessica Gomes 5-1
Genevieve Morton 3-1
Kate Upton 2-1

Sports Illustrated Swimsuit [Facebook]

For some reason every time I see pics of Erin Heatherton posing in lingerie for Victoria’s Secret I get a different feeling than I did before. Why is that? Oh yeah, because Leonardo DiCaprio is dating her now. And that feeling is jealousy. You know, I’d really like to hate on the guy, but in truth what’s to hate? He’s rich, famous, good-looking, single, and he dates the hottest women on the planet. I mean he broke up with Bar Refaeli for God’s sake. He’s just living the dream. Jerk…

(For those of you that are confused by the headline, read this. And try to keep up.)

“Victoria’s Secret was my absolutely biggest goal in life, and it was all I ever wanted career-wise. I actually loved it while I was there, it was so much fun and I had a blast.

But the more I was modeling lingerie, and lingerie isn’t clothing, I just started becoming more uncomfortable with it because of my faith.”

And she thought that by getting the gig working for Victoria’s Secret she’d be modeling, what, parkas and overalls?

Going on to say that it made her uncomfortable getting nearly naked, not only because she wasn’t setting a good example for other Christians, but because her hot body should be for her husband’s eyes only!

“My body should only be for my husband and it’s just a sacred thing,” she explained.

Fine. Whatever…

While this is a loss to men everywhere, January of 2010 was the last time I shared any photos of her so I doubt we’ll miss her that much. That being said, here’s a little of what we won’t be seeing.

Christian Model Quits Victoria’s Secret: ‘My Body Should Only Be For My Husband’ [Radar]

I have been trumpeting the talents of Catrinel Menghia for months now and was finally vindicated when she appeared in arguably the sexiest Super Bowl commercial ever on Sunday trying to sell cars for Fiat. Now we get more reasons why I still think she was robbed in the Sports Illustrated model search last year as she did another smoking hot photo shoot for Lise Charmel. And in case you missed that ad or like me just want to see it again, here you go…

(She’s Romanian by the way, not Italian, what an actress.)

As you see here, Kelly Brook did a sexy new photo shoot for something called Fabulous magazine. Not sure what Fabulous magazine is, but from the looks of these photos the name seems rather appropriate. It’s good to see Kelly getting bit back to her roots a little bit, posing all sexy-like for magazines. I hate it when people forget where they came from and what made them a star in the first place. Nice job, Kelly. Keep it up.

I figured since she was featured today as one of 9 famous people you didn’t know were star athletes we’d take a deeper look at Elsa Hosk. And by deeper look I of course mean look at her in Victoria’s Secret lingerie. As you can easily see her athletic skills are beyond reproach. She’d be my #1 pick and it wouldn’t even matter what sport we were playing. Though I’m thinking touch football might be the best game for her. (By the way, here’s even more photos from this photo shoot… if you’re interested.)

I am loving the direction that Guess has gone the last year or so. It’s like the old days when they had all the hottest models. Today we get to see their latest addition, Sandrah Hellberg. She’s Swedish. Their stable now includes Irina Shayk, Shelby Keeton, Julia Lescova, Kate Upton, and Heide Lindgen. That’s quite an all-star team there.

I thought since in the last week we’ve featured Kate Upton and Barbara Palvin it was only fair to also highlight some work of the other smoking hot amazingly-still-a-teen model Karlie Kloss. Unfortunately, despite being a featured model in the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show we still don’t have any fresh lingerie pics of Karlie so these fashion-y photos she did for Vogue Australia will have to suffice. At least there’s an armbra and some stomach action going on. Stupid fashion.

One of our favorite underutilized Victoria’s Secret models Chanel Iman finally got some love from The Company this month posing in lingerie that for some reason doesn’t match in most of the photos. Maybe she doesn’t like sorting laundry. Can’t say as I blame her. Or that it matters. All that matters is that she’s wearing underwear and someone took pictures. Legally.

Cintia Dicker, in case you missed it, was #1 on our list of 66 sexiest redheads in the world. Here’s a little taste of why she received that ranking. Sure, this photo shoot for Next has no bikinis and no lingerie, but she’s so good-looking even fully-clothed she’s well worth our time. (I do know that they make bikinis though so hopefully, that’s their next photo shoot with her. Fingers crossed.)

Every now and then, even though rare, fashion magazines do a photo shoot that catches my eye. Sure it helps that this particular shoot features Swedish model Mini Anden in a see-through top, but even without that I thought it was pretty hot. So I share. Amazingly this is the first time we’ve seen Anden here on Guyism. I’m not sure why, because she’s gorgeous. And not only does she look really good in these pics, she also looks a little scary. I kinda like it.

This first one, well, here’s what the description says… Teleflora’s 2012 Super Bowl commercial starring Adriana Lima is both romantic and alluring; with the gorgeous Lima taking center stage as she prepares for a special Valentine’s Day date.

What it should say is, “Watch Adriana Lima in sexy lingerie putting on stockings.” That alone will get you to watch.

This second one is for Kia and features Adriana in a bikini, waving a checkered flag… for 5 hours. I shit you not.

You’re still watching, aren’t you?

As we do every month, we take time today to review which ladies were your favorites for the most recently completed month of the calendar. And as is also always the case we have one lovely lady for each day of the month (though technically we have 32 this month). I must remind you that these aren’t necessarily MY favorite women from the past month (though I do very much like them all), these are YOUR choices as determined by the number of views each lady received for her very special set of pictures.

Those marked with *5 STARS* were picture sets not represented with a thumbnail photo that I personally found to be exceptional and especially worthy of your time. And just as in previous months the ladies’ last ranking is noted in parenthesis. Have fun!

31. Candice Swanepoel >>>>>>>>>>

30. Barbara Palvin *5 STARS*

29. Lindsay Ellingson *5 STARS*

28. Lais Ribiero

27. Miranda Kerr >>>>>>>>>>

26. Katarina Ivanovska

25. Minka Kelly

24. Jennifer Love Hewitt

23. Leticia Zuloaga >>>>>>>>>>

22. Elsa Hosk *5 STARS*

21. Sasha Jackson

20. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley

19. Brooklyn Decker (27) >>>>>>>>>>

18. Daniela Ruah

17. Nina Agdal

16. Lindsey Vonn

15. Melissa Satta >>>>>>>>>>

14. Maria Menounos *5 STARS*

13. Elyse Taylor

12. Gina Carano

11. Micaela Schaefer (11) >>>>>>>>>>

10. Kate Upton (10)

9. Catalina Otalvaro (1) *5 STARS*

8. Ana Ivanovic *5 STARS*

7. Edita Vilkeviciute >>>>>>>>>>

6. Adriana Lima (15) *5 STARS*

5. Jessica-Jane Clement (9) *5 STARS*

4. Hope Dworaczyk (16)

3. Belen Rodriguez >>>>>>>>>>

2. Tori Praver

1. Yvonne Strahovski (below)

Shannan Click is one of those models that we love but don’t seem to get to see enough. So when these pics of her posing for Victoria’s Secret hit the Internet it got my attention. Sure, it’s not the usual lingerie pics we get from The Company, but I don’t think anyone ever complained about looking at a smoking hot women in workout gear.

I know I have said this before, but today it’s Russian model Nastya Kunskaya’s turn to be the sexiest model that I’m betting most of you have ever seen before. (I know she qualifies as such for me.) This little photo shoot is for something called Parah Beachwear. I’ve never heard of them, but there’s literally like 80 bikini companies in the world so I can’t be blamed. The good news for them is that if they keep putting out photos like these, featuring Nastya, a minimum of once a month they’ll quickly become a household name. Something to think about, guys…

One of my favorite women to have discovered in 2011 was then 18 year-old Hungarian model Barbara Palvin. So any chance I get to share pictures of her with you I’m going to take it. Especially when there’s handbras involved. (She’s #36 on our women to watch in 2012 if you’re scoring at home.) I love fashion. Only in fashion can women pose topless, or sporting handbras as in this case, and have it not be considered to be porn. Why is that? And how can I get away with it?

I thought since we were already on the topic of Victoria’s Secret and their sexy models we’d take a moment here and introduce you to one you may not be familiar with: Jessica Clarke. Jessica is from New Zealand making her one of the very few models we’ve seen from there. In fact, she’s the first New Zealander to ever model for Victoria’s Secret, doing her first work for them in their annual fashion show. Let’s hope this is just the beginning of her work for them. She’s pretty nice.

Remember the other day when we saw behind-the-scenes pics of Adriana Lima doing a bikini shoot for Victoria’s Secret? Well, now we have the same thing for Candice Swanepoel. Oh joyous day. This bikini photo shoot in St. Barts just goes to show you that Candice can look just as good, if not better (I’m going with better), than when they’ve taken the photos and doctored them all up. Not that any of this is a complaint. Either way, she’s truly amazing.

We haven’t heard much from Rosie Huntington-Whiteley since she appeared in the latest Transformers movie, mostly because she doesn’t work for Victoria’s Secret anymore (bad move), so I figured we’d check in with her and wouldn’t you know, she’s still modeling, and still topless a lot. I’m glad to see that being a big movie star and dating a big movie star hasn’t made Rosie forget her roots like a lot of models do once they become famous (looking at you Kelly Brook).