So the gist…Taylor and Willa were both hanging out with a creepy photographer dude who had them frolic and play. And of course, as happens in my dreams in any situation in which two women are hanging out, it escalates into them stripping each other down and dancing around.

So, yeah. Good work CW. I was worried for a second because it seemed like teenage girls aren’t sexualized enough but then POW! Half-naked teens. Bravo.

I am writing this letter at the request of Colette Momsen, mother of Taylor Momsen.

I have been treating Miss Taylor Momsen for the last few days. She has been hospitalized for a severe, potentially life-threatening throat infection since Sunday. She has been an excellent patient, and after aggressive antibiotics and medications, she is expected to make a full recovery in the next three to five days.

I would just like to say that, unequivocally, I really hope she is okay. I also would like to just throw out there that the best recipe for a throat problem is coating your throat with a viscous liquid, ideally one with high protein levels. A little Vitamin C if you will.

I’m referring to semen, just for the record. It’s for her health, damn you. Someone has to make a sacrifice here, for the good of Taylor. Unless copious amounts of that is what gave her a throat infection. Which is possible. This girl in my high school once got an eye infection from someone busting a nut in her eye. Bet you didn’t know that was possible. See, you came here for a little distraction and instead you learned a lesson about humanity.

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