I believe I’ve mentioned the wonderful world of chiptunes a few times already, but it’s a new year, so why not another? Here we have the latest video from 8 Bit Weapon…

Once again, chiptunes is a classification of music in which hardware that was primarily designed to operate video games, generally the classic stuff, is used as music instruments. Often its performed live on stage, so you basically have dudes rocking out to the sounds of Game Boys, which are stand ins to guitars, drums, etc. Though sometimes, traditional instruments are inserted, to add flavor to the sound.

Not surprisingly, in addition to the audio having a very nostalgic quality, so does everything else that’s attached, especially on the visual level. Here we have yet another music video, from the band Upside Down Cake, and also via Kotaku…

Back to these old game consoles being used as music making machines; these kids, they just don’t go on stage, slapping buttons on their Game Boys. They need specialized tools, like cartridges that taps into the audio producing properties of the device. So in that sense, they simply turn said machines into synthesizers and the like, via custom created software.

But there’s also a good deal of hardware hacking involved. One of the best, and most recent examples, was highlighted by Joystiq a few weeks back. Meet cTrix and his gATARI2600…

Easily the most impressive thing I’ve seen a blonde girl do in a messy closet since I was in high school. Either way, if Mac Miller can be a best-selling artist with his — ahem — special brand of white rap music, I see no reason Bailee Moore shouldn’t be performing at the Super Bowl sometime in the next 18 months.

If you enjoy Ms. Moore, feel free to check her out on Facebook.

Watch This Hot White Girl Rap Really Fast [BroBible]

I mean just look at this picture below. It’s like Mariah Carey, even in all her blissful lack of self-awareness (as hot as she is, she’s in her 40s and should probably stop dressing like she just got off the stage at the Spearmint Rhino), can’t even stand that she’s doing this.

Either way, kudos to Justin Bieber for having such multicultural friends in this video. I totally buy him as a spokesman for our times who doesn’t look completely ridiculous when rapping now.

No wonder women love R&B music. It’s like you’re being verbally castrated without knowing it. I’m surprised all of Bryan McKnight’s albums don’t come with an insert that features a piece of his testicles in a little baggy so women can carry it around everywhere and be reminded of their triumph over all of our respective manhood.

It brings a tear to your eye, doesn’t it? Mostly because Mike Tyson will punch and/or rape you if it doesn’t. If that can’t induce the waterworks, nothing will.

Listen to a Song Comprised Entirely of Mike Tyson Quotes [Vulture]

It’s an amazing recreation of Kurt Cobain, really. In fact, it’s so real that I’m surprised that the performance didn’t close with Courtney Love coming over and stealing all his tips, then launching a cheap rip-off of his street performances right next door. But it’s totally different and even more edgy because they’re chicks! Winning idea!

Brazilian Man Sounds Just Like Kurt Cobain, Performs Heart Shaped Box [Viral Viral Videos]

I’m going to specifically mention Eiffel 65 (the “Blue Da Boo Dee Ba Bo Dy” guys) here just so that they get a Google Alert for their name. Maybe they’re more popular than I’m aware of off-hand but if they’re a one-hit wonder like I suspect, I think getting this shout out will mean a lot more to them than anything else I can put in here. Way to go, guys!

History Of Songs Lyrics That Aren’t Lyrics [Buzzfeed]

According to sources, people were paying upwards of $500 tickets for the show through secondary ticket sales sources. People love their Radiohead.

Thom Yorke also got way too into that performance. You shouldn’t look like you’re giving the world’s best blowjob to a microphone when you’re singing a song as mellow as that.

See Video From Last Night’s NYC Radiohead Show [Vulture]

I get that R&B dudes are supposed to be all sensual and that’s why the women flock to them but kneelattio isn’t exactly something I’d consider to be a panty moistener. Then again, I can’t recall the last time I’ve made sweet love to a kneecap, so perhaps I’m not the best judge of character.

Either way, I suppose we shouldn’t be surprised by anything Chris Brown does with a gal. His previous ideas of foreplay have included slamming a Lambourghini door on a hot chick’s face like she was a pizza box that didn’t quite fit in the refrigerator so anything other than that would qualify as progress.

Will Turntable.fm crash Spotify’s party?

That’s the question that the uber-popular (seriously, I saw them on “The Daily Show” the other night!) Taiwanese animation company, Next Media, is asking today.

And, actually, it’s surprising because a) they’re — kind of — two different services and b) I thought that Spotify was crashing Turntable’s party.

Both require trendy invites, though Spotify is the only service to offer a monthly premium to stream whatever you want.

Turntable requires actually paying attention and wasting time at work (I had to quit playing on it, so bad was the distraction level) but don’t cost nothing.

It’s a vigorous debate that will consume us all until the stock market crashes for the 12th time this week and we can stop worrying about which tech startup will end up making the most money.

In this list we examine songs with some of the manliest lyrics ever written. Because no man’s music is complete without a message he can relate to whether it has to do with fuel-spewing fast cars, stress-relieving violence, submissive women, nonchalant firearm ownership or just being a rampant sexual conquistador.

7 Metallica – “Fuel”
Quintessential line: “Gimme fuel gimme fire gimme that which I desire!”
Sounds Like: Fast, rocking riffage with James Hetfield’s famous howl.
Man-factor: If you like fast cars and a side of danger, you’ll love cranking this song up to be your very own escaping-out-your-ex-girlfriend’s-window-because-her-dad-is-after-you-with-a-sawed-off-shotgun soundtrack.

6 The Rolling Stones – “Under My Thumb”
Quintessential line: “Under my thumb/Her eyes are just kept to herself/Under my thumb/Well I can still look at someone else”
Sounds Like: Mick Jagger brings this easy, laid back classic rock ditty home with his distinctive croon.
Man-factor: A jaded, misogynistic jab at women. While the message might not go over so well in this day and age, the Stones are such important rock icons that I’m sure they won’t be getting hate mail anytime soon either. Plus, have you ever seen Keith Richards pout? It’s adorable, you just can’t stay mad at him.

5 Lars Frederiksen and the Bastards – “Fight”
Quintessential line: “Death and violence I like/All I wanna do is fight!”
Sounds Like: Biker rock, purposefully devoid of glamour and polish. Both catchy and mosh-pit inducing.
The man factor: These boy are all about knives, motorcycles and actin’ “tuff.” This anthem is a declaration of manliness and territoriality, so grab a Molotov cocktail and strap in for the ride.

4 Alabama 3 – “Woke Up This Morning” (The Sopranos’ Theme)
Quintessential line: “You woke up this morning/Got yourself a gun/Mama always said you’d be/The Chosen One.”
Sounds like: You are being threatened. (But also) a funky, jungle-soaked jam with laid back gang vocals and a penchant for cigar smokin’, gin drinkin’ acts of violence.
Man-factor: Ahhh, a man and his second amendment right to wake up with a gun in his hand and a twinkle in his eye. Men like power and holding a gun is akin to a feeling of supreme authority.

3 Lil’ Kim – “How Many Licks”
Quintessential line: “How many licks does it take till you get to the center of the (Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh)”
Sounds like: A good beat, synthesized grooves and loads of backup singers provide a great canvas to paint a picture of all the awesome filth that comes spewing out of Lil’ Kim’s mouth.
Man-factor: This crazy-ass chick goes right for the sweet, supple throat of monogamy and spills its lifeblood all over her sex-starved lyrics. I don’t care that this wasn’t written by a man, Lil’ Kim knows all about a man’s wants and needs… and future court dates.

2 The Dwarves – “FEFU”
Quintessential line: “I wanna f*ck, eat and f*ck you up, yeah”
Sounds Like: Cold industrial verses meets hot punk rock chorus’ head-on, making it rain sex, gluttony and violence.
Man-factor: We suit up and go to our jobs. We go to the gym. We go to the bar. We all play the game. But don’t lie to yourself, ‘cuz deep down, we all just want to violate, fornicate and masticate. Not necessarily in that order. And in this age, songs with lyrics that seem to come straight from the subconscious of a deranged caveman sit right at home with the goals and aspirations of the modern man.

1 Social Distortion – “She’s a Knockout”
Quintessential line: “Everywhere she goes people turn their heads/She’s a knockout/Everyone wishes she was sleeping in their beds/She’s a knockout”
Sounds Like: Bluesy, aggressive rock. Simple like the sentiment within.
Man-factor: Every guy knows what it’s like to be walking down the street, minding his own business when out of nowhere his spidey-senses tingle and his head instinctively turns to catch an eyeful of the hard-bodied seductress in his peripheral vision. Let’s be clear ladies; we have no control over this. So, if you’re walking alongside us as it happens, please refrain from making any future plans for castration.

I’m going to soapbox this for a minute and preface this by saying that, obviously, I know nothing about the exact circumstances of this particular girl BUT..

Is anyone shocked she’s not actually a capable rapper? Freestyling may seem difficult to the average person but it’s a staple in the life of anyone growing up in a hip-hop culture. Even the most mediocre person making a living as a rapper can drown you in witty punchlines or, at the very least, clever references to his dick. But not Kreayshawn.

You know why? Here’s my theory.

This is all an elaborate art project. Kreayshawn, whose real name is Natassia Gail Zolot, has a background in performing arts schools, even attending the Berkeley Digital Film Institute on a scholarship. Her mother, Elka Zolot, is a former punk musician for a mildly successful band called the Trashwomen. She now makes a living leveraging her personal branding for a line of skincare products. And she’s not an idiot; the Red Hot Chili Peppers recently recruited her to direct a video of theirs.

Did you know Kreayshawn is a badass rebel? Because this photo totally proves she is!

The questionable authenticity of Kreayshawn extends beyond her inability to improvisationally put together words that rhyme over a beat. Kreayshawn is also affiliated with an all-white girl rap group based out of Oakland called the White Girl Mob. One of its members, calling herself V-Nasty, had a video go around last week in which she defended her usage of the “N word”. SPIN Magazine posted a breakdown of the cultural misappopriation, in which is buried a tidbit that V-Nasty, who claimed to be in jail for 75 days on weapons charges, actually had no criminal record to speak of.

So let’s see: Salaciousness designed to incite others, cultural inauthenticity reflected majorly in a lack of actual talent, trying way too hard…does that not sound like a typical hipster “performance artist” to you?

All I’m saying is that if Joaquin Phoenix comes out like Hulk Hogan joining the nWo to lead the White Girl Mob after Kreayshawn accepts her VMA next month, none of you should be shocked.

KREAYSHAWN – COSMIC KEV FREESTYLE [Ill Roots]

This video is going around like wildfire today with people proclaiming it to be embarrassing and, don’t get me wrong, it’s definitely godawful. But was the Courteney Cox version really that much better? To me, Bruce dancing like a spaz while Clarence plays the sax is probably more logical than him pulling up an incredibly boyish Cox on the stage. I’d rather have people think I dance embarrassingly while dressed like Gallagher than that.

Bruce Springsteen’s Humiliating Original “Dancing In The Dark” Video Leaked [Buzzfeed]

According to the YouTube uploader, the fight began when one of the guys grabbed some girl’s butt. But then the uploader also calls the two people fighting “a gay couple”. So I’d say there are some mixed up stories going on here.

Either way, my favorite part of the video comes at 0:55 when one of the husky girls trying to break up the fight accidentally gets sent flying about 10 feet backwards. The drama of fights is definitely amplified when you have fat girls flying around like the dozens of Agent Smiths trying to gang tackle Keanu Reeves in the second Matrix movie.

The band’s new album combines some of their hard rock sound sensibilities with emotionally charged lyrics, making for an album that shows how much the band has grown since bursting onto the scene.

Lead singer Brad Arnold told Billboard Magazine:

“This record shows some growth on our part,” says vocalist Brad Arnold. “We’ve had success in the past and we’re very thankful for that, but there’s always room to … take it up to another level. And I feel like we did that.”

And how, Brad Arnold. And how.

Hopefully the album also ends the (probably imagined) blood feud between 3 Doors Down, Maroon 5, and Matchbox 20 over which popular band with a number in its name is the finest. Glad they solved that turf war without bloodshed.

But with how crazy the new album Time of My Life is, will you still call them Superman? HA. Get it? Because that was in the song they did.

Pick up the new 3 Doors Down album Time of My Life on Amazon right now.

This is a sponsored post, you may be shocked to learn.

For the record, my little write-ups after videos like this are heavily impacted by whether I think the girl in the video is of legal age or not. Since I’m not sure, let’s just say that I certainly respect this girl’s cupsmanship and soulful song stylings. I’ve long craved to see someone combine the athleticism of cup stacking with the black musical stylistic thievery of a young Elvis. It brings a tear to my eye to finally see that happen.

“You’re Gonna Miss Me” Cover [Buzzfeed]

Elsewhere in New York, though, there’s a celebration of the band that’s a little more tangible. And tasty — Ithaca Beer Company is celebrating Phish’s run by producing a beer tailor-made for the group, “Hop Stash.”

“Essentially, a majority of us at the brewery are huge fans of Phish. Anyone who has visited the brewery can attest to this,” Marc Schulz, IBC Sales Manager said. “When we learned that they were bringing their annual weekend festival to Watkins Glen, we got a little geeked up.”

“Hop Stash” is a tribute to the Phish song “Stash” and will be brewed one time only, and is available on draft until Ithaca runs out of the tasty liquid nuggets.

There’s some bad news, though. “Hop Stash” isn’t the official beer of Superball IX, which means it won’t be sold inside the festival. (Although you could argue that getting a “Foam” from Sierra Nevada is more than enough of a consolation prize.)

Also: the brewery’s located about 25 miles from where the festival will actually take place. (Directions here.)

The good news — at least for Ithaca — is that Phish fans are freaking junkies for anything related to the band, and plowing through a couple of kegs of “Hop Stash” should be easier than finding a passed out, Patchouli-reeking hippie on the lawn near your feet.

Phish festival inspires release of special ale – [Star-Gazette]

Provided, of course, they could get an invite for the hottest new site on the planet.

At least I think it’s the hottest site anyway, because I’ve spent WAY too much time in the DJ rooms over the past two days, trying to build up my “street cred” (read: Internet points) by playing songs that people like.

Which is basically the gist of the site — you hop in a room with up to 200 other people, with up to five DJs on the stage, all of whom take turns playing music to the crowd.

But what’s the point? Well, I suppose to entertain yourself, build up points, and rock out to good music. If you’re a DJ — and it’s freaking HARD to become one in a room full of people because it’s first-come, first-serve when someone’s booted — you pick a song in their pretty, pretty vast library of music or upload something.

Then the crowd either hits the “Awesome” or “Lame” button as your tunes crank, generating points for you … or booting you off the stage.

Yes, I’m aware that there’s a good chance simply writing about it will ruin my experience (the lawyers will find out). Whatever.

And yes, I’m aware that all the stuff I said above might make ZERO sense to you and just seem like a weird, dorked-out crossbreed of Facebook, AIM and iTunes.

But then again, maybe that’s not so bad is it? Give it a try … if you can. And swing by my room while you’re at it.

It takes a pretty colossal level of on-stage unprofessionalism to overshadow the fact that the “Alors on Danse” dude is dressed like the sluttiest school boy in history. But when you have to pull out your cell to remember that the lyrics to your song are “Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t,” things can be a little hard to remember. You don’t want to screw that up. What if you said “Do” instead? The song would completely lose its poetic intent.

Good for this girl. She had some decent lines in there and maintained a decent flow considering the fact that it appears that she can’t breathe without assistance.

But no matter how conceptually adorable it is to think that I’d provide a charity dicking to little ethnically ambiguous female Stevie from “Malcolm in the Middle,” the odds of that seem low. A) I’m doubting there’s a “sweet nectar” in her crotch; I’ve hooked up with entirely functional women who’ve sat in a chair for a couple hours and they were able to, you know, clean themselves without a nurse’s aide and a firehose. Not a sweet nectar. B) Sleeping with a girl who’s like 100 pounds is a delicate enough effort, most times. Now you’re expecting me to fuck ol’ Graham Cracker bones without feeling like any other girl when, in reality, it’s like trying to get off by sticking my dick in a game of Jenga? Get out of here with that noise.

Still, yay, empowerment.

The Third Summer Jam Of 2011: Cripple With Swag’s “Vagina Ain’t Handicapped” [Videogum]