This isn’t the first I’ve heard of a demand based bar pricing.  A friend of mine came up with the idea about six years ago, but he was too busy being a male nurse to act on it. Since then, I remember seeing a couple bars advertising something similar. Regardless of whether this is the first or not, it’s still a very cool idea.

Prices at the bar, at 321 W. 44th St., will go up and down based on how popular a beer is — the fewer people drinking a certain kind of brew, the cheaper it is. If everyone wants a piece of an ale, the price of a pint shoots up.

Prices will fluctuate between roughly $4 and $8, Doyle said — and every once in a while, managers will trigger a ‘market crash’ that will plunge all of the beer to a daily low.

“We’re not going to do that too much,” Doyle said sheepishly.

This is ideal for people who either love all types of beer or just don’t really care what they drink. Unfortunately, NY Beer Co. is also most likely going to be a haven for hipsters. I can’t think of a quicker way identify what isn’t popular, and we all know hipsters strive to love the least preferred. If you can deal with a room full of guys in cuffed jeans, knock off Chuck Taylors, and terrorist scarfs, this sounds well worth checking out. At least you know you can get a beer for $4 and enjoy some pageantry while you’re there.

via DNAinfo

Since I forced the conversation to hipsters, here’s a throwback jam for you.

Melin brought the girl to the fight and encouraged her to fight a friend of the other girl involved in the Facebook beef.

One girl in the crowd told Melin, “You shouldn’t be doing this. You should be breaking up the fight,” leading to Melin allegedly pushing the girl to the ground and kicking her in the head and neck.

Melin is charged with three counts of endangering the welfare of a minor and attempted assault.

One thing I enjoy doing during these situations is try to assume what the arrested party was trying to do in the situation. And I bet she was just trying to teach her daughter that you handle things like an adult. If you have a problem, you sort it out. She was trying to teach her daughter that cyberbullying is nonsense…it’s better to just to conduct your business face to face. And, like most well-intentioned lessons, it ended with someone kicking a prepubescent girl in the head and neck for no particular reason. Pretty sure that was in one of Dr. Spock’s books.

LI woman busted for egging on Facebook kiddie fight, hitting child: police [NY Post via Daily Intel]

Lesson 1: Try to look like Blake Lively

Not only would the program teach kids that it’s bad to send these photos because, well, your teen boobs and butt and dong can potentially live online in perpetuity, but also because it’s highly illegal. Because, you know, kids care way more about the latter.

The program would also teach kids about the lifelong damages that can be wreaked upon their relationships and career.

If passed, the law would decrease the (slightly insane) current legal emphasis on kids being prosecuted for child pornography and focus instead on reforming their thoughts on the process.

Well this would certainly be good news for the youths of tomorrow avoiding potential entanglements with their naked bodies living on forever in Twitpic form. At the same time, though, it seems kind of silly that you’d only teach kids who got caught sending these pics. All the kids who didn’t get caught would continue to escape without learning anything, sending nude photos without repercussions all because they stayed one step ahead. All you’re doing is raising a generation of Super Sexters, streamlining their process, teaching them how to artfully hide their face and strip EXIF info. It’s like Wesley Snipes in “Demolition Man” only with teenage boobs in place of Dennis Rodmanesque blonde hair and fantastic comedic timing.

Lawmakers Propose Teen ‘Sexting’ Law [WSJ via Gawker]

Perhaps the only way to make $170K unappealing is to cover it in the scent of cobwebs and rotting yellowfin tuna

But a customs officer noticed odd stitching on a pair of underwear, only to find 1,699 $100 bills sewed into the panties.

Abdeldaim had removed the underwear in an Amsterdam bathroom en route from Sudan to America and sewed the money into the underwear in one of the stalls.

The woman received the money after consummating the sale of a property belonging to her late husband in the Sudanese capital of Khartoum.

Abdeldaim faces up to 21 months in jail as a result of the smuggling charge and is currently on the loose after paying $100,000 bail.

I don’t know what’s more disgusting to me…that someone would so blatantly try to flout American customs laws for the sake of personal gain OR that an elderly woman took a 10-hour flight across the globe without any panties on. Wait, no, it’s definitely the latter. She could have burned a flag after stabbing an infant and if I were the prosecutor, I’d go, “Wait, so you went the WHOLE FLIGHT with no underwear on? And you’re 64 years old? Do you realize how disgusting that is? Are we sure that’s not worth a life sentence?” I may not win many cases in this alternate reality, but Fictional Lawyer Chris definitely knows what matters most.

Queens woman Claire Abdeldaim caught with nearly $170,000 hidden in her underwear at JFK [NYDN]

An East Harlem man was being hailed as a subway hero for pulling a straphanger off the tracks Sunday, saving him from being crushed by a train.

Lifesaver Carlos Flores, 36, said a combination of benevolence and not wanting to miss an overtime shift at his grocery store job prompted his derring-do.

“I was thinking, if he gets hit I can’t go to work. It’s Sunday. I can’t miss out. It’s a time-and-a-half day,” Flores told the Daily News.

Brave local man makes it to work on time – after heroically saving man sprawled on No. 6 track [NY Daily News]

I’m so glad no one ever thinks to turn their cell phone camera horizontal for their viral video clips. My creepy penis-inducing fetish happens to be poorly shot videos with wide black rectangles next to the vertical content.

I get that this guy is a creep and that this is probably an act of power, etc, but was that really the woman really the best he could have done? A million people take the train each day and he settled on a mousy, ginger who looks vaguely like Warwick Davis’s star turn in “Leprechaun.” I’d rather rub my penis up against a shutting subway door.

Wolfensohn called the cops after he asked the boys whether the bake sale was for charity and was told that it was not.

Wolfensohn told LoHud that, “All vendors selling on town property have to have a license, whether it’s boys selling baked goods or a hot dog vendor.”

But he realizes he could have handled it better, sort of, saying in hindsight, he probably should have told the boys they needed to get a license instead of calling the cops. A license requires a $150-$350 commitment and a $1 million insurance certificate.

The boys were selling cupcakes in the hopes of opening a restaurant. They raised an estimated $120 before being shut down.

So, my question: Is Chappaqua just filled with mildly retarded people with unrealistic visions of the world? There’s a town board member who wants kids to have $1 million insurance certificates and kids who think that selling 20 cupcakes is going to turn them into mini Wolfgang Pucks…does anyone have any idea there how the world actually works? I’m surprised there isn’t a wise, talking lion providing vaguely religious guidance serving as mayor of Chappaqua.

New Castle councilman calls cops on boys’ cupcake sale [LoHud]
Cops called on 13-year-olds for selling cupcakes [MSNBC]

Both a butcher and a cashier were onto the scam. The cashier yelled to the butcher that Williams “[has] a big turkey in his pants,” leading to the butcher to chase him down outside the Fine Fare store.

According to the New York Post, the butcher yelled “You have something in your pants!”

Williams replied, “I’ll give it to you, don’t touch me!”

To which the butcher replied, “I don’t want to touch you — just give me the turkey!”

Williams then dropped the turkey on the floor, then punched the butcher in the face when he tried to pick it up.

The turkey was returned, however, and went right back on the shelves. Which makes this a feel-good story. Not only will any turkey-loving customers at the Bed Stuy Fine Fare get a taste of delicious Boar’s Head, they’ll also get a slight hint of criminal genitalia. Mmm. Just like mom used to make.

What a terrible idea. Seriously, a 12-pound turkey breast you try to smuggle out in the front of your pants? That’s the most conspicuous thing ever. Though that must really be awkward if you have elephantitis of the testicles. As soon as an oversized turkey breast goes missing, you know who the first one they’re going to check is.

Thief stuffs turkey down pants [NY Post]

The event had everything bacon: bacon the movie, bacon the musical, bacon songs, bacon art, bacon products, and, of course, bacon food and drink. And the people who paid $50 to get tickets to the three-day affair said bacon — not vegan — was the hippest food.

John Ordover, who runs the SoHo Gallery for Digital Art, says he decided on the bacon theme because — except for those with a religious requirement against pork — everybody he knows loves bacon. “It crossed all the social lines — rich, poor, happy, sad, outgoing, introverted,” he says. “If there is one thing that everyone can agree on, it’s bacon [ED. NOTE: You hear that, Muslims and Jews? Cut the crap].”

Then there are the bacon products. Keith DeCandido reels them off, starting with a book: Bacon a Love Story. “It’s a heartwarming tale, or at least stomach-warming tale,” he says, laughing. “We have bacon-flavored lip balm; we have Mr. Bacon’s board game; we have a bacon-shaped wallet, bacon air freshener, bacon soap so you can smell like bacon.”

All Things Bacon Sizzled At NYC’s Bacon-Palooza [NPR]

This would only be an acceptable deal if the people you impress with the car were also allowed to blow you inside of it. But I guess that’s what negotiation is for.

BMW Owner Will Park In Your Spot Free Of Charge [Gothamist]

[T]he 30-year-old posted an essay this month claiming she also had been a pros titute.

“From October 2006 to January 2007, I accepted money in exchange for sexual services I provided to men I met online in what was then called the ‘erotic services’ section of Craigslist.org,” wrote Petro on The Huffington Post, using her real name and picture.

It appears she managed to keep her shenanigans a secret from parents at PS 70 — who were stunned by the revelation.

“I don’t want nobody that used to do that to be around my kid,” said Grace Ventura, whose son is in third grade. “People like that should not be allowed to be anywhere near children.”

Yocelyn Quezada said perhaps Petro had managed to turn her life around, but she still fumed that a former money honey was teaching two of her three kids.

“She’s not a good role model. I do not want my daughters to find out about this,” Quezada said, “and I do not want my daughters to be around that kind of person.”

Bronx teacher admits: I’m an ex-hooker [NY Post]

This is just what I imagine the movie “Twister” would be like had it replaced Bill Paxton with a duo of easily terrified castrati. I know we Northeasterners aren’t so used to seeing tornados whipping through our towns, but there’s no reason to act like you’re a pachinko operator seeing Godzilla when one saunters into Brooklyn.

To be a Svengali of air sex, the bottom line is this: have a game plan. Indeed, air sex virgins should follow the advice of the veritable Wilt Chamberlain of air sex: host Chris Trew.

“Have a costume, have a game plan and commit 100 percent to whatever you’re doing,” said Trew. “If you’re having sex with a goat, then I wanna see you stroking its horns. I want that goat to be turned on.”

Each contestant gets two minutes to act out their wildest sexual thoughts to a panel of judges. They are then judged according to several factors including realism, humor, and audience approval.

If you’re interested in trying out, you can throw yourself into the mix at their Web site. Or you can buy tickets to watch. Because nothing spells a good Friday night like a dozen people simulating a rim job on a centaur. Someone’s been reading my diary!

The air sex championship is the most fun you can have with your clothes on [The Brooklyn Paper]
Air Sex World Championships [Air Sex World Championships]

Lynne Rosenthal, a college English professor from Manhattan, said three cops forcibly ejected her from an Upper West Side Starbucks yesterday morning after she got into a dispute with a counterperson — make that barista — for refusing to place her order by the coffee chain’s rules.

Rosenthal, who is in her early 60s, asked for a toasted multigrain bagel — and became enraged when the barista at the franchise, on Columbus Avenue at 86th Street, followed up by inquiring, “Do you want butter or cheese?”

“I just wanted a multigrain bagel,” Rosenthal told The Post. “I refused to say ‘without butter or cheese.’ When you go to Burger King, you don’t have to list the six things you don’t want.

“Linguistically, it’s stupid, and I’m a stickler for correct English.”

Grammar stickler: Starbucks booted me [NY Post]

The victim ran after Shaw, chasing her into an apartment building where police then caught up to her.

Upon frisking Shaw, police retrieved the $20 bill along with two glass pipes “containing a tar-like subtance” from her anus. It’s unclear as to whether they also pulled out an extremely long rainbow-colored handkerchief as well.

Poor Andrew Jackson. It’s a pretty steep fall to go from being a hero of the War of 1812 to being found in the rectum of a woman who’s idea of upward mobility is stealing a $20 from a place specializing in Jamaican beef patties. Thomas Jefferson would love it, but Jackson…no way.

Woman Busted for Stealing $20, Shoving It Up Butt [NY Mag]
NYPD Daily Blotter [NY Post]

“I never want to see flowers again,” Edward Pemberton told the Daily News yesterday in an exclusive interview. “They’re the thing that did me in. …They’re bad memories now.”

“The flowers show I’m polite,” said the flower deliveryman, whose rap sheet includes 14 prior arrests. “I’m a good person.”

The brightly colored bouquets were also his way of expressing gratitude.

“The flowers were ‘Thank yous’ to people who were giving me something that didn’t belong to them, and didn’t belong to me either,” Pemberton explained.

Busted Bouquet Bandit says ‘flowers show I’m polite … I’m a good person’ [NY Daily News]

“I did not have no money to impress her, so if I thought that if I take this lil girl’s DS, I can make some money. I tapped her shoulder. I said, ‘Give it.’ She said, ‘No.’ I said, ‘It mine,’ (sic) and forst (sic) it from her. I felt bad as she chased me but it was done. I said to myself, ‘Never agen (sic).’ “

So, clearly he thought this one through and used the type of charms and clever schemes you’d expect from a barely literate teenager who’d rob a little girl of her Cooking Mama game. That is so Staten Island.

It’s unclear as to whether Etienne’s love interest was sufficiently impressed by his efforts. If this girl happens to read this, remember, what he lacks in intelligence and success, he more than makes up for in making little girls cry.

West Brighton teen stole Nintendo system to impress girl, authorities allege

When the teller asked the man what he wanted, he pulled a note from the bouquet which said “Give me all your 100s, 50s; don’t be a hero.” The man took the money and fled, leaving behind the flowers.

The NY Post reports that the man also robbed a different bank the previous week, that time using a potted plant instead.

I’m surprised this trick worked. The guy obviously looks menacing enough, but the flowers are coming on a little too strong for a first meeting. I’m surprised the bank teller didn’t just look at him and go, “Oh, these are so…thoughtful” and then immediately knew he wouldn’t be getting into her bank vault. You came on a little too strong, intimidating criminal. Maybe next time you’ll learn the art of “negging” in your bank robberies. Also, a furry top hat wouldn’t hurt. Just saying.

Manhattan Bank Robbery Suspect Using Flower Bouquet During Heist [NY1]

The teen made a quick turn around a corner and ended up crashing the horse and buggy before attempting to get away on foot.

The teen was later found and arrested on charges of underage possession of alcohol, overdriving an animal, reckless endangerment, failure to stop at a stop sign, failure to yield to an emergency vehicle, and, presumably, one count of being Amish without a badass ZZ Top beard.

One can only hope this kid doesn’t get thrown in jail. In spite of his negligence, you’re asking for trouble when you go to jail and your crime is “I had too much Mike’s Hard Lemonade and flipped my horse and buggy.” There are guys arrested for fingering Dora the Explorer dolls with more street cred than this kid.

Catt County Sheriff Arrests Teen After Buggy Chase [WGRZ]

Due to the cerebral palsy, Mertsaris’s arms and hands move and flail around a bit (see the video on MyFoxNY). One of those flails led to the judge accusing Mertsaris of grabbing her upper thighs and buttocks while in an office alone together.

Mertsaris’s lawyer told Fox NY that the lawsuit “is one of the most stunning displays of a lack of compassion, a lack of human kindness.”

So, what do you think? Is this a case of a female judge being a douchebag? Or is it a story of triumph, of one man’s will to grab the ass of a female judge allowing him to overcome obstacles such as cerebral palsy? If the latter, he’s pretty much a modern day “Rudy,” I’d say.

Judge Accuses Wheelchair Bound Lawyer Of Sex Crime [MyFoxNY]