The Stanley Cup Playoffs may not be going the way Gary Bettman had hoped, but if he had the Game On Wrist Shot he’d probably be a little less worried about it. This super fan shot glass is a nice compliment to the Beer Tower ]]>

The Stanley Cup Playoffs may not be going the way Gary Bettman had hoped, but if he had the Game On Wrist Shot he’d probably be a little less worried about it. This super fan shot glass is a nice compliment to the Beer Tower and Goal Light for the hardcore fan that is still getting drunk and watching every game. Take enough shots and eventually you’ll drop your tiny little gloves and fight, just like the real deal. Just be sure to tie down your fight strap beforehand because it will be pretty awkward if you are given a game misconduct and have to leave the party.

Game On

In a somewhat surprising move, Predators coach Barry Trotz has elected to bench star players Alexander Radulov and Andrei Kostitsyn for Game 4. The two were suspended Game 3 by the team after breaking team rules.

Trotz announced his decision Friday after a morning skate. He ]]>

In a somewhat surprising move, Predators coach Barry Trotz has elected to bench star players Alexander Radulov and Andrei Kostitsyn for Game 4. The two were suspended Game 3 by the team after breaking team rules.

Trotz announced his decision Friday after a morning skate. He says both players understood that the coach wants to stick with the players he feels made a big statement. Trotz says the playoffs are about right now and the group.

Listen Trotz, I understand wanting to make a statement but Radulov is your best offensive player right now. Who cares if he got drunk, sloppy and slept with hookers. Hell, we let the Secret Service do that on a weekly basis man.

This is the not the time to make statements. It’s the time to survive and advance. Do the right thing!

A Predators ice girl named Jenna is being lauded as a hero today after picking up a live catfish during a game last night. On the Preds website, Jenna lists her hobbies as listening to music, spending time with friends and not surprisingly, ice ]]>

A Predators ice girl named Jenna is being lauded as a hero today after picking up a live catfish during a game last night. On the Preds website, Jenna lists her hobbies as listening to music, spending time with friends and not surprisingly, ice fishing. She comes from the mean lakes of northern Minnesota so it’s probably not the first time she’s handled a live slimy creature. Although, she’s probably rebuffed the advances of Minnetonkan Jack Hillen before.

Philly fans have informed me that I’m quite hard on them. A brief perusal of posts over the last month show they’re probably right. I do seem to have a strange fascination with the absurdity of their fanbase (see here, here and here). ]]>

Philly fans have informed me that I’m quite hard on them. A brief perusal of posts over the last month show they’re probably right. I do seem to have a strange fascination with the absurdity of their fanbase (see here, here and here). So, allow me to extend an olive branch your way. Here’s a drunk, obese Devils girl getting thrown out of the Wells Fargo Center during Game 1.

Let’s get this out of the way first: Joel Ward scored 2:57 into overtime to give the Washington Capitals a Game 7 victory over the Boston Bruins. The goal came off a rebound with Mike Knuble crashing the net after a shot. Here’s the video if you haven’t seen it. ]]>

Let’s get this out of the way first: Joel Ward scored 2:57 into overtime to give the Washington Capitals a Game 7 victory over the Boston Bruins. The goal came off a rebound with Mike Knuble crashing the net after a shot. Here’s the video if you haven’t seen it.

Immediately after the goal, Bruins fans took to social media to express their displeasure with the Capitals–specifically Joel Ward. More specifically, they simply didn’t like that a black man scored the game-winner.

A few sites captured the inglorious moment on Twitter. There’s no need for me to post the ignorant comments but you can probably imagine what they look like.

The internet is an ugly place. It’s even uglier when people believe they have anonymity. You can be sure those same people would never utter those words in person except to their equally racist friends.

There’s an issue here about whether those comments would come after an NBA or NFL game given the demographics of the league and fanbase. There’s also an issue of region given Boston’s history with black athletes. Both probably play a part although truthfully, I can’t tell you with any certainty how big of a part. I just know this. There are assholes out there and when you hand an asshole a keyboard they will type asshole things.

That’s the jist of it.

The Flyers eliminated the Penguins in a wild first round that featured lots of goals, hits, fights and suspensions. Claude Giroux had himself a marvelous series with 6 goals and 14 points. He also got in the head of some Penguins fans. Watch as he fakes the puck toss ]]>

The Flyers eliminated the Penguins in a wild first round that featured lots of goals, hits, fights and suspensions. Claude Giroux had himself a marvelous series with 6 goals and 14 points. He also got in the head of some Penguins fans. Watch as he fakes the puck toss towards these ladies.

The Coyotes defeated the Blackhawks…AGAIN. The game-winning goal came in overtime…AGAIN. The goal was soft…AGAIN.

If you haven’t seen it yet, prepare to think you can play goalie in the NHL. There was no actual shot, just a push of the puck forward. A puck, mind you, that ]]>

The Coyotes defeated the Blackhawks…AGAIN.
The game-winning goal came in overtime…AGAIN.
The goal was soft…AGAIN.

If you haven’t seen it yet, prepare to think you can play goalie in the NHL. There was no actual shot, just a push of the puck forward. A puck, mind you, that never left the ice and was nudged forward by a guy who was getting mauled and had one hand on his stick.

Way to troll Corey Crawford.

Blackhawks winger Marian Hossa was sent to the hospital last night after a brutal hit from the Coyotes Raffi Torres. League disciplinarian Brendan Shanahan has been busy this playoff season handing out fines and suspensions, but none may be as severe as the one he hands Torres.

Of ]]>

Blackhawks winger Marian Hossa was sent to the hospital last night after a brutal hit from the Coyotes Raffi Torres. League disciplinarian Brendan Shanahan has been busy this playoff season handing out fines and suspensions, but none may be as severe as the one he hands Torres.

Of note, Torres is a repeat offender having been suspended earlier this season for a December hit on Nate Prosser. He also left his feet, launching himself towards Hossa making direct contact with his head. Hossa’s injuries appear to be serious with rumors floating last night that he may have a broken jaw. All of this ultimately factors in to Shanahan’s decision. Wouldn’t be surprised to see Torres out 10 games, if not the rest of the playoffs.

Todd Bertuzzi and the Detroit Red Wings are still peeved about the Shea Weber incident from Game 1. So when it came time for the Predators to play some ping pong after practice, Bertuzzi stepped in and said ‘no.’ In fact, he said ‘hell no’ and moved the ]]>

Todd Bertuzzi and the Detroit Red Wings are still peeved about the Shea Weber incident from Game 1. So when it came time for the Predators to play some ping pong after practice, Bertuzzi stepped in and said ‘no.’ In fact, he said ‘hell no’ and moved the table into the Wings locker room.

Gamesmanship? Perhaps. Hate for your division rivals? Absolutely.

Playoff hockey is serious business folks. From the moment the puck drops until that congratulatory handshake, the opposition is your enemy. Dig your trench and start lobbing grenades cause it’s going to get ugly.

In somewhat related news, should a table tennis match break out between the two teams, the Red Wings win in a sweep.

Todd Bertuzzi Is Taking His (Ping Pong) Ball and Going Home [Detroit4Lyfe]

The Pittsburgh Penguins were supposed to contend for the Stanley Cup. A week into their playoff series with the Flyers and those dreams have been deferred. After stunning the Penguins the first two games, the Flyers returned to Wells Fargo for a pivotal game three. Less than a period ]]>

The Pittsburgh Penguins were supposed to contend for the Stanley Cup. A week into their playoff series with the Flyers and those dreams have been deferred. After stunning the Penguins the first two games, the Flyers returned to Wells Fargo for a pivotal game three. Less than a period into it, the Penguins lost their cool resorting to cheap tactics, fights, name calling and overall tomfoolery. They went on to lose the game 8-4.

What does that have to do with this clip? Well, everything. It aptly characterizes the Penguins “meltdown” and at the same time, promotes Philly fan awesomeness. I particularly enjoyed the appropriate use of Eye of the Tiger.

The NHL playoffs started last night with a bang. Literally. Shea Weber celebrated the Predators victory by slamming Henrik Zetterberg’s head into the glass. The move was something straight out of the WWE with the glass playing the part of a turnbuckle. Weber ]]>

The NHL playoffs started last night with a bang. Literally. Shea Weber celebrated the Predators victory by slamming Henrik Zetterberg’s head into the glass. The move was something straight out of the WWE with the glass playing the part of a turnbuckle. Weber will certainly hear from the league sometime today and if Red Wings fans have anything to say about it, Weber will serve life in prison next to George Zimmerman (no really, people made that comparison).

Here’s a look at some of the more ridiculous tweets last night.

Considerably low bounty for a player of Zetterberg’s caliber.

You stand on your moral high ground sir.

100? Dang, I was hoping about 50. You’re cruel.

Oh Megan, let’s keep your sexual exploits with Weber off Twitter.

A toothpick? Did you mean an ice pick?

Caufield-Weber sounds like a law firm.

Nitish, meet the Nashville police. Police, meet Nitish.

Was Weber wearing a hoodie?

I’d prefer a flying elbow from the top of the stadium, but ok.

Hooray, more stupid George Zimmerman comparisons.

Appropriate Ndamukong Suh joke is appropriate.

This @WorldofIsaac guy sounds like a real sicko.

When all else fails just call your friendly neighborhood hitman, Todd Bertuzzi.

The NHL playoff seeds aren’t even finalized, but here are some predictions anyway. We’re guessing that a lot of these probably won’t happen, but it’s fun to speculate!

Vancouver really lost its mind last night after a complete ass-whooping at the hands of the Boston Bruins in Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals. But where there is looting…uh and fire…and tear gas…there can be love. A rose blooming in concrete.

Oh and there’s ]]>

Vancouver really lost its mind last night after a complete ass-whooping at the hands of the Boston Bruins in Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals. But where there is looting…uh and fire…and tear gas…there can be love. A rose blooming in concrete.

Oh and there’s also this one from Jon Chiang’s fantastic photo collection, via Drew Magary:

Even better, after that boob grab, the gentleman in question met this fate at the hands of a riot shield:

Damn, Vancouver. One would think with your laid back attitudes and fantastic array of marijuana, you’d be much more mellow.

Either way, who could blame these people for finding romance amidst that riot? That shit looked like the apocalypse. If my entire city was burning down like the opening scene in a zombie movie as a result of a hockey game that no one outside of Canada and Boston cared about, I’d be trying to get my dick into whatever I could too. Even reviled Vancouver Canucks goalie Roberto Luongo. He’d probably be down for all sorts of erotic consolation after the week he’s had.

Douche extraordinaire Sean Avery posed nude for a Marc Jacobs skin cancer ad. Normally, I’m applaud someone who was willing to help the fight against cancer, but in Avery’s case, he’s only doing it because he’s the Kim Kardashian of the NHL. You can ]]>

Douche extraordinaire Sean Avery posed nude for a Marc Jacobs skin cancer ad. Normally, I’m applaud someone who was willing to help the fight against cancer, but in Avery’s case, he’s only doing it because he’s the Kim Kardashian of the NHL. You can interpret that whatever way you want, as in “he’s an attention whore” or he has an “abnormally gigantic a$$”. I prefer to say he gets bent over and drilled by dudes for millions around the world to see.

The shirt features a naked Avery covering his genitalia and the words “protect your largest organ” displayed on it.

The campaign’s goal, as described on the official Facebook page, is to “raise awareness about the deadly skin cancer and benefit melanoma research at the NYU Cancer Institute at NYU Langone Medical Center.”

“Protect the skin you’re in” has also featured celebrities Heidi Klum, Dita Von Teese, and Victoria Beckham.

Ah, how sweet. And now, here’s video of Sean Avery acting like a complete bonehead. Yes, there are several hundred of these on the web. Needless to say, it was difficult to limit it to one.

Sean Avery Naked: Rangers Star Poses Nude For Skin Cancer (PHOTO) [Huffington Post]

It appears NHL referee Chris Rooney is undergoing puberty. How else can you explain the 12-year old voice crack and the uncomfortable grabbing of his nuts during this penalty call?

Video via Ted Williams Head:

Thankfully, the game between the Islanders and Hurricanes continued with no-other ]]>

It appears NHL referee Chris Rooney is undergoing puberty. How else can you explain the 12-year old voice crack and the uncomfortable grabbing of his nuts during this penalty call?

Video via Ted Williams Head:

Thankfully, the game between the Islanders and Hurricanes continued with no-other pre-pubescent happenings. Although, one player did offer his jock strap for Rooney to use in case he had another inkling to grab his stuff.

The bad news: Carrie Underwood just got married. The good news: She’s on her honeymoon and took her bikini. There are only four photos, but seeing Carrie Underwood in a bikini is like seeing a shooting star, people. It’s rare and it’s fantastic.

At the NHL awards ceremony last night, Alex Ovechkin was given the Ted Linsday award for MVP as voted by his peers. Typically at any awards gala, a few words are uttered and you exit stage left.

But Ovechkin apparently wanted to relish the moment and hand out every ]]>

At the NHL awards ceremony last night, Alex Ovechkin was given the Ted Linsday award for MVP as voted by his peers. Typically at any awards gala, a few words are uttered and you exit stage left.

But Ovechkin apparently wanted to relish the moment and hand out every thank you he could possibly muster. Not even music or another person appearing on stage would uh, “upstage” him.

The painfully uncomfortable moment below via The Big Lead.

If only Ovie had shown that kind of resilience in the Capitals first round series…ouch. That’s gotta sting.

It used to be that back in the olden days of entertainment, one needed only talent and opportunity in order to make a name for themselves in show business. But in today’s world of “look at me” reality stars and Disney produced pop princesses, the best way for someone ]]>

It used to be that back in the olden days of entertainment, one needed only talent and opportunity in order to make a name for themselves in show business. But in today’s world of “look at me” reality stars and Disney produced pop princesses, the best way for someone in the entertainment industry to ensure some camera time is to dress in a manner that cannot be ignored. And while it isn’t always pretty, some celebrities have turned their wardrobes into extensions of their persona.

I know I’m not cool enough to pull of any of these outfits and chances are you aren’t either; however, in hindsight, maybe these folks could think about turning the crazy dial down just a bit when getting dressed in the morning. I mean, there is dressing the part and then there is dressing like a third-rate magician at a color-blind child’s birthday party. Maybe they aren’t insane. Maybe they’re so far ahead of the curve that we simply cannot comprehend their style choices because we are too creatively inept. I dunno; decide for yourself…

1 Don Cherry
The joke, “What? I can’t hear you over your jacket,” was tailor-made for Don Cherry. Who knew that Tommy Bahama even had a men’s suit section. Sometimes all you need in order to dress like a color-blind Bond villain is the ability to sell it. And Don seems to have the knowledge and the attitude to rock some of the out-and-out craziest outfits to ever appear on Canadian television. How you would even broach the subject of a Hawaiian business suit without getting laughed out of a tailor’s shop is beyond me. Cherry dresses like an antagonist you’d have to defeat at the end of some insane Japanese video game. Oh Canada…so similar, yet, still so far apart.

2 Bootsy Collins
He’d be the lovechild of Elton John and Slash if it weren’t for the fact that he was already jamming with James Brown before Elton ever wore a feather boa and Slash could recite the alphabet. You couldn’t expect someone with the nickname “Bootsy” to become an accountant; you’d expect someone named Bootsy to look like, well, to look like the guy in the picture. You don’t just become roll out of bed and become funk; especially when you are part of the self-proclaimed funkiest band on the planet and possibly the outlying solar system. You gotta dress like an interplanetary funk machine, and that’s why some of the outfits Bootsy pulls off are nothing you’ll see any Earthling rocking in 2010 or the foreseeable future.

3 Andre 3000
3000 sometimes dresses like a crazy person and some days he looks like a stone cold pimp. Andre Benjamin seems to walk the line between cool and absurd (I’m leaning towards coolest motherf#%*er on the planet), but no matter the outfit, dude always looks pimp. It shows that if you have extraordinary talent and a chill attitude to back it up, you can wear whatever you want and people won’t bat an eye…even when you dress crazy and shake-it like a Polaroid picture.

4 Elton John
The man who pretty much started it all. Reginald Kenneth Dwight took a page from old vaudeville acts and a page from an old-time honky-tonk blues pianist and threw them together to create the starred-out sunglass wearing artist, Elton John. Some days he dresses like a schizophrenic that dropped acid and dug through the trunk of a 1930’s German burlesque dancer and others he looks like someone that got drunk and couldn’t decide whether he wanted to look like Liberace and or one of Jim Henson‘s Muppets. Either way, he made crazy fashion crazy fashionable for some of today’s most outlandish musical acts. Oh, and he’s one of the greatest piano players the world has ever seen.

5 Katy Perry
Katy Perry used to be a gospel singer, but no one seemed to notice. So she did what any woman with a great voice and an even better set of…lungs would do: she dyed her hair, changed her image and found some of the craziest outfits on the planet to show off her…lungs. Some days she looks like something a Japanese school girl would make at a Build-A-Bear; except instead of extra stuffing in the paws, there would be extra stuffing in the…it’d be top heavy, probably. Katy Perry has magnificent breasts. There I said it. And she shows them off in eccentric outfits and I speak for most males when I say thank you Katy Perry. Even though I can’t name one song of your album, feel free to wear whatever you want.

6 Bjork
Some people are just born a bit strange. Bjork seems to be one of those people. From her sometimes bizarre music videos and performances to some strange fashion decisions, she has become known for being one of the most eclectic performers that the world has ever seen. Nothing wrong with being someone with a knack for the eccentric and the talent to back-up their eccentricity; Bjork is probably an artist in the truest sense of the word. Maybe tone down the aquatic bird themes when going to the Oscars though…it just kinda makes you look like the crazy cat lady that lives at the end of the block.

7 Lady Gaga
There are certain people that set the bar for things and then there are people who see the bar, decide it’s not tacky enough, and bedazzle the living hell out of it.When someone asks, “How many Muppets did you have to kill to make that outfit?”, the answer should never be 50 Kermits. I’m sorry, no matter how talented Lady Gaga is, she will always be the girl that cried out for attention like a match at a fireworks stand. I think even Andy Warhol would have told her to tone it down. Is it performance art? Sure. Does it give me a headache every time I see her on TV? Yes. Is her shtick working? Yes. Are we all a little bit epileptic because of it? Yeah, and I don’t care how great her music is, I’m tired of swallowing my tongue when I watch the Grammys.

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You can’t help but feel for Sharks defenseman Dan Boyle whose errant backhand flip beat his own goaltender in overtime. And just so everyone knows, an overtime own goal in an otherwise scoreless game shall be now be referred to as a “Boyle.” I now own the copyright for ]]>

You can’t help but feel for Sharks defenseman Dan Boyle whose errant backhand flip beat his own goaltender in overtime.
And just so everyone knows, an overtime own goal in an otherwise scoreless game shall be now be referred to as a “Boyle.” I now own the copyright for that term.

The Avs Ryan O’Reilly got credit for the goal and he certainly celebrates like he was the hero. And to make matters worse (or better) for him, it was his first career playoff goal. Can you imagine showing your kids highlights years from now and saying,

“hey kids, here’s daddy’s first ever playoff goal”
“But daddy, you didn’t even touch the puck, that stupid man in the white jersey just threw it in the wrong net”

Ouch.

Most of the time, we prefer our athletes to be warm, smiling characters. Look at LeBron James; the guy is 6’8 and packs 250 pounds but you would have no problem approaching him on the street. He just looks like a nice guy. This list is not for guys ]]>

Most of the time, we prefer our athletes to be warm, smiling characters. Look at LeBron James; the guy is 6’8 and packs 250 pounds but you would have no problem approaching him on the street. He just looks like a nice guy. This list is not for guys like that. Contained below are the most frightening, snarling athletes that the general public would do well to avoid like their lives depend on it.

1 Mike Tyson

You don’t get the nickname “The Baddest Man on the Planet” by being a nice guy. In his heyday, Mike possessed a rare combination of speed, knockout power, and blood lust. He’s broken opponent’s orbital bones, bit off ears, spent time in prison. You name the act, and Mike has committed it with the unapologetic rage of a wild man. If you’re not completely convinced by now, simply go look up videos of his interviews. His mere presence has even the most steadfast reporters shivering. Plus, the guy tried to take out Little Mac!

2 Serena Williams

For years everyone had their suspicions that the younger sister was secretly a psychotic super athlete. Just watch her play tennis. She hits the ball like it owes her money, screaming out a war cry with each stroke. She’s also got biceps that look like they were infused to her body during a lab experiment. But the confirmation of many people’s fears came during last year’s U.S. Open final. Disputing a call, she stormed over to the female line judge and threatened to “Shove this **** ball down your ***** throat.” Yikes.

3 Ray Lewis

Some athletes have the ability to act like complete gentlemen off the field but turning into monsters while on it. Ray Lewis is one of those men. From his maniacal pre-game ritual that looks straight out of a Tongan death dance. If you haven’t had the pleasure of listening to his pre-game speeches they kind of sound like this: “RAARR! KILL! FOOTBALL! NO MERCY!!” Ok fine we might have embellished that a little bit. On the field, ferocity of his hits are so intense that many find themselves marveling at the fact that anyone gets up afterwards.

4 Scott Parker

In a sport that demands toughness out of all of it’s athletes, Scott Parker shone as the one of the toughest. They say you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but Scott Parker is exactly what he looks like: a rough dude that can snap at any moment. During one game, Parker was so incensed that he slammed his stick against the penalty box glass and got himself ejected. But before he could be led off the ice, he jumped onto the glass between the two team’s benches and started hitting an opposing player in the face. Now retired, Parker runs a barber shop business with his wife. Who in the world would trust him with scissors?

5 Albert Belle

Baseball is not the first sport that comes to mind when thinking of intimidating athletes. However, Albert Belle has been a special case his whole career. From throwing a ball at a fan who was taunting him during a game, to hitting a would-be vandal with his car, Belle was a man without fear or mercy. But it wasn’t just opponents and fans who feared his wrath. He reportedly took a bat to teammate Kenny Lofton’s boombox after a particularly poor at-bat. Looks like someone needed a hug badly. Volunteers?

6 Bernard Hopkins

By nature, most professional fighters are intimidating human beings. Hopkins takes the cake as one of the last guys you want staring across the ring from you in a match. Coming from the tough streets of Philadelphia, Hopkins was born rough, beating up and stealing money from older kids. Hopkins didn’t discover his love for boxing at a gym like most people, he began boxing while serving a prison sentence for multiple felonies. In the ring, Hopkins doesn’t really knock his opponents out as much as he saps their will with his bullying and counter punching. He does all of this with the countenance of a hired killer.

7 Lawrence Taylor

How many careers have you ended today? None? Oh well, you must be a normal person; unlike our next athlete Lawrence Taylor. The former Giants pass rusher was an absolute berserker on the field, seemingly with the intent to literally put them through the ground. Opposing offensive coordinators eventually had to adapt to LT’s blitzkrieg. His most infamous hit was during the 1985 season where he hit Redskins quarterback Joe Theismann so badly that Theismann broke his leg, forcing him into retirement.

8 Randy Johnson

The fact that this guy is nicknamed the Big Unit and no one thought to make fun of the guy for it (at least to his face) says a lot. Johnson stood 6’10 and rocked one of the most complete mullet/goatee combinations ever seen in sports. Imagine standing in a batter’s box seeing a guy like that throw 90+ mph fastballs in your general direction. In one particular incident, an unfortunate bird flew in the way of one of Johnson’s pitches. The bird quite literally exploded into a mess of feathers and blood. If it weren’t downright frightening, it would almost be kind of beautiful.

9 Wanderlei Silva

One does not get the nickname the “Axe Murderer” by being nice and cuddly. Silva reigned as the PRIDE middleweight champion for years, leaving a trail of would-be challengers unconscious in a pool of their own blood. A whirlwind of knees, elbows, and stomps Silva lives for the knockout. His epic pre-fight staredowns are by far the scariest in the sports of mixed martial arts. Just try to watch a clip of him without peeing your pants a little.

10 Brock Lesnar

Normal people do not have giant swords tattooed on their chests. It’s safe to say that the current UFC Heavyweight champ is not a normal person, but a genetic freak of a man. In the ring, Lesnar becomes an absolute killer with no remorse. Just ask Frank Mir whom Lesnar pinned against the cage hitting him repeatedly with hammerfists. Afterwards he still got in Mir’s face and let him know just who the alpha dog is. Lesnar, a former NCAA and WWE wrestling champion, spends his free time secluded in the woods hunting wild game and presumably running rampant on small villages.