Arnold Schwarzenegger admits he fathered child out of wedlock
“I understand and deserve the feelings of anger and disappointment among my friends and family.”

Source: Charlie Sheen ‘destroyed’ by Ashton news
“He really thought that he would be invited back.”

Rihanna defends following Chris Brown on Twitter
“its fu*kin twitter, not the altar! calm down.”

Nick Jonas, 18, steps out with singer Delta Goodrem, 26
“Nick Jonas clearly has a type: sexy brunette pop stars.”

Lady Gaga reaches 10 million Twitter follower landmark
“10 MillionMonsters!”

Lindsay Lohan’s little sister gets matching wrist tattoo
“And so it begins.”

Alcohol, drugs allegations against Mariah Carey, Nick Cannon still being probed
“Nick was extremely angry when DCFS officials attempted to interview Mariah, which just escalated the situation.”

Andy Dick sued for close encounter of the genital kind
“Defendant Dick then, while still controlling Plaintiff’s head with his hand, forced his genitals against the left side of Plaintiff’s face.”

Pippa Middleton parties in Spain with ex-boyfriend
“Though in a relationship with former cricket player and current financial trader Alex Loudon … Middleton is said to have remained on friendly terms with Percy…”

Jennifer Love Hewitt eyed for new female lead of Law & Order:SVU
“…no formal offer has been made.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
FHM #1 Rosie Huntington-Whiteley in a sexy photo shoot for DT magazine.

Mariah Carey & Nick Cannon welcome twins
“…the baby girl was born first, weighing 5 lbs. 3 oz., and was 18 inches long; her brother was next, at 5 lbs. 6 oz., and was 19 inches.”

Justin Bieber gets egged while on stage in Sydney
“Eight eggs were thrown at the teen pop star while he was performing.”

Kristen Stewart wishes she could puke blood in birth scene
“…if you ask series star Kristen Stewart, the scene in which her character Bella Swan gives birth to Edward Cullen’s child could have been much bloodier.”

Mike Tyson’s tattoo artist sues to stop release of Hangover 2
“When Mr. Whitmill created the Original Tattoo, Mr Tyson agreed that Mr. Whitmill would own the artwork and thus, the copyright in the Original Tattoo.”

Sheen writes an open letter attacking Chuck Lorre
“They are planning on voting you off the AA island. Even those clowns have no room for you anymore.”

Lara Logan — attackers ‘raped me with their hands’
“I thought, not only am I going to die here, but it’s going to be just a torturous death that’s going to go on forever and ever and ever.”

Bon Jovi to tour without rehab-bound Richie Sambora
“Although he will be absent from upcoming shows for the time being, we very much look forward to his healthy return.”

January Jones is pregnant
“She’s really looking forward to this new chapter in her life as a single mom.”

Sarah Palin sued for $100k over alleged traffic conspiracy
“…according to Thoma’s suit, Palin’s actions have caused a ‘chilling’ effect on his ability to exercise his federal constitutional rights.”

Chace Crawford cuts deal in pot case
“…if he meets certain conditions in the next 12 months, the case will be dismissed and there will be no criminal record.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Brazilian actress Alice Braga in a sexy photo shoot for Vogue Brazil.

Company linked to Charlie Sheen applies to trademark 22 catchphrases
“The applications [are] seeking to trademark … Duh, Winning; Vatican Assassin, Tiger Blood, Rock Star From Mars, Sober Valley Lodge and Sheen’s Goddesses, among others.”

Charlie Sheen gets a standing ovation (in Cleveland)
“He got big applause Tuesday when he said he still wants to do Major League 3 and would like to film it in Cleveland.”

Ashley Judd’s memoir reveals past filled with abuse, drugs
“From revealing lies her mother told about about Wynonna’s real father to allegations of child neglect, Judd doesn’t hold much back in her shocking book.”

Sean Hayes cast as Larry in The Three Stooges
“Will Sasso, widely known for his work on MADtv, will play the role of Curly.”

Mariah Carey, Nick Cannon took “nasty” nude pics together
“Cannon fessed up to the in-the-buff photo shoot Tuesday on his radio show Rollin’ with Nick Cannon – and now he’s not so sure it was a wise decision.”

Scott Pelley to replace Katie Couric at CBS
“First, he’s well-liked and respected by his bosses, and second … there really is no second choice who is appealing to the CBS honchos.”

The nude Kate Winslet Titanic sketch was for sale
“The drawing is sketched by DiCaprio’s character in the movie, but was actually drafted by James Cameron himself (those are even his hands at work).”

Olivia Wilde, Justin Timberlake “just friends”
“The two, who costar in the upcoming sci-fi movie Now, were spotted on Saturday at The Roxbury in Hollywood, where they were apparently getting cozy in a VIP section…”

Angelina Jolie’s visit to Tunisia incites near-riot
“For safety reasons, Jolie was forced to cancel half of her visit, which included plans to visit a Moroccan hospital.”

Kirstie Alley gets tattooed after Dancing with the Stars tumble
“Rather than sulk, the 60-year-old stunner celebrated last night’s stumble by getting ‘unbroken’ tattooed on her inner wrist.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Britney Spears’ new music video for Till The World Ends.

And the last episode of this season’s Entourage doesn’t seem as far fetched now…

Eminem makes fun of everybody, does he not? He has parodied everyone from superheroes to Osama Bin Laden and yes, even the diva herself, Mariah Carey. This is not news to anyone, as the rapper is known for an oft serious demeanor that seems to go out the window the minute he hit’s the studio to record lyrics or music videos. It’s parody. It’s art. So why out of all the people Em has taken shots at over the years is Nick Cannon the person to take it personally enough to escalate his beef into a fist fight? Probably his crazy wife that has no sense of humor and can never let anything go.

You remember this year-and-a-half-old beef, right? Eminem’s “Bagpipes From Baghdad,” off his Relapse album, took some shots at Cannon and his wife, Mariah Carey. Cannon shot back: He dissed Em’s skills and clowned on his boasts of bedding Mariah, calling the attack “racist bigotry.”

Yeah, so this comes down to the fact that at one time when he was the greatest-rapper-in-the-game, Eminem slept with your wife and now your pissed about it. Well, why the hell would you want to fight about this when you could be using that training time to build a time machine and go back to stop it from ever happening? Or you could just get over the fact that other men have slept with your wife and stop trying to use that as a catalyst to help the generate publicity so that people will  know you less as Mr. Mariah Carey and more as that guy that hosts that one show where the guy dressed as a 17th century gay clown opera singer.

Cannon reignited the fuse in July, when he reportedly attempted to confront Shady at the BET Awards, making fun of Em for allegedly hiding out behind his security detail. Then, earlier this month, Cannon threw another haymaker, dropping “I’ma Slick Rick,” in which he called into question, um, Eminem’s ability to get ready for game time.

Come on, guy. Dissing Ems skills on the radio and erectile dysfunction in a musical number seem a bit on the ridiculous side. This seems like it may end up being one of those skits from Chapeele’s Show about when keeping it real goes wrong. You’ve seen others with beef get smoked by Eminem in the past, so why poke a sleeping, sober bear when you know he’ll just end up lyrically destroying you in a few months time? Let it go, man.

A clean and sober Eminem told Vibe in August that he was done with all that, saying, “I really don’t want to talk about [Carey] anymore. I don’t want to keep beating a dead horse … I’m not even going to comment about it. I’m done with that whole situation. I said what I had to say.”

Well, I guess that means no fight or new track. Nick will just have to find a new way to reinvent himself without getting into the ring with Eminem. I hear Lindsay Lohan need a new sponsor…

Nick Cannon Challenges Eminem To A Fight [MTV]

The new television season is upon us. All of our favorite shows and celebrities are making their triumphant return into our homes. But, let’s face it….there are an endless number of people on television who simply shouldn’t be. Yet, for some unknown reason, these people continue to get deal after deal after deal. This list is never-ending, so let us start with just 10 of these repeat offenders. With any luck, this list might become an Internet petition to have these people swiftly removed from our television sets.

10 Jimmy Fallon
The King of Mediocrity. NBC seems to have a thing for giving people who aren’t all that funny their own late night shows (See also: Jay Leno, Carson Daly). What a lineup. Conan was funny, but we all know what happened there. Fallon’s interviews are awkward and uncomfortable, and all of his bits are more about reminiscing about the late 80’s/early 90’s than actually being funny. He’s good in small doses, so no more hosting gigs please. A tiny cameo in a Harold & Kumar movie would probably be a better fit for him.

9 Tyler Perry
This man is a money-making machine. He currently has around 67 movies out in theatres at this very moment. But how many predicaments can that damn Madea get into?! He also supposedly has two TV shows. However, they only seem to play ads for the show and not the show itself. Rumor has it that networks usually like it when their audience can actually find the show. So, until people can actually figure out when any of his current shows are on TV, he needs to not get another one.

8 Betty White
Enoooough already. It was funny once. It was funny twice. But now anytime Betty White pops up on my television screen and says something that a grandma-aged woman shouldn’t be saying, I throw my remote at it. It’s becoming quite costly, so I’d appreciate if Hollywood would stop giving her gigs.

7 Nick Cannon (see also: Mario Lopez, Nick Lachey, etc.)
The “actor/musician” turned host is quite possibly one of the most annoying things on television. The fact they’ve realized that they’re not all that great at what they originally set out to do, but can still make some serious cash and be on TV, is both genius and pathetic at the same time. Cannon, those other guys might need this, but you’ve married and knocked up Mariah Carey (allegedly), so you’re pretty much set for life. Now it’s time to stop trying to generate your own income at our expense.

6 Denis Leary
Denis Leary had some of the best, filthiest, and raunchiest stand-up bits back in his prime. And his sense of humor translated perfectly onto his show, Rescue Me… for about three seasons. After that, something went horribly wrong and the show turned to crap. Leary suddenly adopted a stutter and now manages to say “ya know” in between every other word. Watch the show sometime and take a sip of beer every time he does. You’ll be hammered in three and half minutes. It was a good run, but that’ll be quite enough, Denis.

5 Matthew Fox
Matthew Fox has done enough dramatic, over-the-top crying for three people’s careers, let alone his own. He’s had two successful runs on hit TV shows, which is two more than most people usually get, so retirement is probably a good idea at this point… for our sake.

4 Kathy Griffin
If Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog ever had any offspring, they would all sound like Kathy Griffin. She may sound like a Muppet, but she’s nowhere near as loveable or funny. It’s very nice of Hollywood to keep any show she has far away from any channel a guy might stumble upon, but it’d be even more kind if Hollywood could make her disappear completely.

3 David Spade
Has David “Piggyback” Spade ever done anything funny in his entire life? It seems to me that he’s just made a career out of surrounding himself with funny people. Who is it that keeps deciding that he’ll be a good addition to any sitcom? Yet, he continues to pop up on them. Tivo should introduce a new remote with an “Anti-Spade” button that will instantly edit out any scenes in television shows, movies, and commercials that have David Spade in them, which ultimately will provide a more enjoyable viewing experience for the consumer.

2 Criss Angel
Before MTV gave us a whole Jersey Shore houseful of douchebag, A&E helped define the term by bringing us Criss Angel: Mindfreak. Magicians and illusionists are hard enough to like as is (See: David Blaine), but Criss Angel’s Posh Spice haircuts, tilted hats, overuse of jewelry, and Affliction shirts make it as impossible as levitation.

1 Kirstie Alley
It’s so unfortunate that a woman with the last name “Alley” ends up being the size of one. The sad story of a once thin and attractive actress who has lost her grip on her self control with food is not something we, as guys, want to have to endure over and over again. Her Jenny Craig commercial in which she screams “Fettuccini!” (0:18 mark in the video below) at the screen will haunt your dreams forever, so no further television time is needed for Miss Alley. Her work here is done.

Celebrities these days really seem to love Halloween. Whether it’s Paris Hilton dressed as a slutty nurse to Paris Hilton dressed as a slutty cop or even Paris Hilton dressed as a slutty Batman; more and more celebs seem to be going all out while attending lavish Hollywood Halloween parties. But sometimes their costumes aren’t always obvious to the untrained eye. See if you can look at the picture and guess the what each celebrity is dressed as.

1. Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon are dressed as:

Answer: A box of cookies and “whipped”

2. Chris Klein is dressed as:

Answer: Somebody whose career peaked with the first American Pie movie

3. Gwen Stefani is dressed as:

Answer: Lazy

4. Olivia Munn and friend are dressed as:

Answer: Every nerd’s fantasy and Star Jones circa 1999

5. Lady Gaga is dressed as:

Answer: Spit

6. Nicky Hilton is dressed as:

Answer: The reason there are such strict sex offender laws in the US

7. Santa Claus is dressed as:

Answer: Dick Cheney during Christmas Dinner

8. Gary Busey is dressed as:

Answer: The guy that’s been killing all the neighborhood cats.

9. Dennis Rodman is dressed as:

Answer: This isn’t Halloween; he calls this look “Monday at a PTA Meeting”

10. Heidi and Spencer Pratt are dressed as:

Answer: The Little Plastic Mermaid and The Biggest Douchebag on Earth

11. Chris Brown is dressed as:

Answer: Ike Turner

12. Lindsay Lohan is dressed as:

Answer: Something in L.A. that will give you the same workout as Nautilus equipment

13. Flavor Flav is dressed as:

Answer: We would have accepted: An embarrassment to his race or a Swatch

14. Bill Maher is dressed as:

Answer: A dick

15. Lady Gaga is dressed as:

Answer: Swamp Genocide

16. Courtney Love is dressed as:

Answer: A shiftless Hobo Drifter

17. Darth Vader is dressed as:

Answer: A Japanese schoolgirl

18. This man is dressed as:

Answer: Jon Gosselin–one day after the divorce.

19. Vanessa Minnillo and a friend are dressed as:

Answer: The two most overrated quarterbacks in the National Football League

20. Katy Perry is dressed as:

Answer: A woman with such spectacular boobs that the mustache wouldn’t bother most men.