Not sure if everyone has been keeping track, but every new flagship Android device that Google releases has been accompanied by YouTube shenanigans featuring ninjas. Here’s the very first one, for the Nexus One, which I still think is the sexiest looking Google phone to date (as well as the best looking handset that HTC has produced period)…

And then for the Nexus S (again, lol at Samsung for refusing to allowing their device to be called the Nexus Two), you had this fourth wall breaking effort that I unfortunately cannot embed for technical reasons. And most recently, for the just launched Galaxy Nexus is this…

It’s an actual game that you can play, via YouTube. And it’s not half bad! As far as these kinds of things go, it’s actually pretty decent. It definitely has that old-school, NES vibe (you’ll definitely be reminded of TMNT and Battletoads).

But it also plays pretty damn well to boot; virtually every other effort of its kind always falls short in the playability department. Punching and kicking is crisp, as is grabbing and tossing foes aside as well. It’s hardly deep, but its three levels will keep you entertained. For those wanting more, there’s a free Android app that seriously picks up right where the YouTube version leaves off.

BTW, been working on an iPhone vs. Android piece for a while now; unfortunately, the Android phone I’m using is no longer the hottest Google phone on the block, but given the rapid fire pace in which such devices are released, I guess it can’t be helped. Look for it by the end of the week!

Nathan Smith told his sensei and the rest of the students at Ninja Senshi Ryu and they rushed out to confront the thugs – all dressed in traditional black ninja garb.

How awesomely cliche is that. It seriously sounds like something out of every ninja movie ever made. Person runs down an alley and when he thinks all is lost, ninjas are suddenly on the scene and before you have time to question what is happening you’re already in the safety of men dressed in the most dangerous pajamas known to man.

“You should have seen their faces when they saw us in ninja gear coming towards them,” the school’s sensei, Kaylan Soto, told the Herald.

Another situation where ninjas save the day. Awesome. But what kind of idiot runs away from attackers down a dark alley? Hasn’t this guy seen any movies like this? The dark alley is always the first place bad guys looks when they are chasing you. There must be some kind of “stupid gene” that takes hold of a person when being chased by armed assailants because everyone knows you should run into the first place with people in it, not the dark and creepy alley.  He’s lucky the ninjas saved him this time. Next time he may not be that lucky… (That  is exactly what the lead ninja in a movie would tell the person in the alley.)

Ninjas rescue student from muggers [Herald Sun]

Move over Shinobi, a new ninja has invaded my sexual fantasies.

At 11:15 last night, a police officer was looking for the victim of a reported assault in the 600 block of Seventh Avenue when she encountered the man impaled on a metal fence and screaming for help. Seattle Fire Department medics were called and removed the man from a fence spike and transported him to nearby Harborview Medical Center.

Officers, believing the man might have been involved in the assault, spoke with him at the hospital. The man said he was not involved. Instead, he said he thought he was a ninja and would be able to leap over the 4- to 5-foot fence.

As a police account of the incident notes, “Clearly he was overconfident in his abilities.”

See kids? Regardless of how the liberal ninja media portrays the glamour and fun of getting to run around in your pajamas with a sword with your face hidden like an Arab woman, you can get seriously hurt and shamed in public (ironically also like an Arab woman).

This guy should know that being a ninja isn’t a superpower. In fact, it’s probably a miserable couple of decades having to learn how to be a ninja with stuff like getting beaten with sticks and having to do hours of stretching a day and ninja arts and crafts. Lots of hard work and dedication go into being a master of the ninja arts. Well, unless you’re Asian. Then you can vault over a fence and solve a linear algebra problem at the same time. I don’t know why you’d elect do to algebra at such a potentially stressful time, but then again, I’m not one of the chosen few.

[Seattle Times]

Photo credit: This dude

Police in New Jersey busted a couple of ninja warriors on Thursday. The two young men are now facing serious charges.

Jesse Trojaniak of Clifton has had a fascination with ninjas. But early Wednesday morning his ninja activities got him busted by cops, along with his friend Tadeusz Tertkiewicz, 20.

Police said they found the two in a car on Rt. 46 dressed in black ninja garb and SWAT-type vests, armed with an assortment of knives, swords, nunchuks … and a cross bow.

“They were armed to the teeth,” Clifton Police Det. Capt. Robert Rowan said.

Police said they were on their way to deliver warning letters to drug dealers and drug users urging them to stop their “impure” activities.

He said they planned on dropping off five letters to drug dealers in the area, saying “You have committed passing on your impurity upon innocent brothers and sisters.”

And that the ninja outfits were just to scare them. As for the weapons …

“Those weapons … they were just for show. They were just there to make us look as ninja as possible,” Jesse said.

I can certainly relate. I used to really want to be a Ninja Turtle. I’d eat pizza, throw out witty quips, say “Cowabunga!”, gangbang reporters clad in yellow jumpsuits, whatever I could do to emulate my heroes. The only difference is that I was FIVE YEARS OLD and not trying to intimidate drug dealers.

Sure, it’s admirable and all that these functionally retarded boys want to clean up their neighborhood and whatever but it’s just another illustration of the way society has trained young people these days to think they’re more special than they are. You’re not going to make a difference, you’re not going to scare anyone, you’re just an ass who can’t come to the realization that Barney and your parents and whatever asshole teacher told you that you were special but you’re not. And if you prance up to a drug dealer in black pajamas with a ninja star you bought at a state fair, there’s a good chance he will shoot you in the head. And it would be totally justified. And I hate you.