If you were planning a trip to Missouri this summer, bad news. Well, first, you should really set your goals higher in life. And second, if you were planning on taking in a local gentlemen’s club, be warned, a new law says that women are no longer allowed to be ]]>

If you were planning a trip to Missouri this summer, bad news. Well, first, you should really set your goals higher in life. And second, if you were planning on taking in a local gentlemen’s club, be warned, a new law says that women are no longer allowed to be nude and alcohol will no longer be served at Missouri-area strip clubs.

According to STL Today:

Missouri’s strip clubs will have more clothing, reduced hours and no alcohol after Aug. 28 under a bill signed Friday by Gov. Jay Nixon.

A group of adult entertainment business owners has vowed to sue to stop the new law, much as they did in 2005, when a similar law was overturned in court as an unconstitutional infringement of free speech.

“I’m very disappointed in the governor’s decision,” said Mike Ocello, president of VGA Holding Corp., which owns several adult entertainment businesses throughout the country.

“I’m upset about the impact this will have on the state’s economy,” Ocello said. “Jobs will be lost.”

The new law — which was sponsored by Sen. Matt Bartle, R-Independence — would prohibit full nudity at strip clubs and prohibit such establishments from selling alcohol. Adult businesses — including adult bookstores and strip clubs — could not be located within 1,000 feet of a school, church or public park. Such businesses would have to close at midnight, and nobody younger than 18 would be allowed.

No offense to the fine people of Missouri, but I’m not sure this is such a grand idea. You have an arch and a beer brewing company there and that’s wonderful. But in terms of being an artistic capital of the world, there may be a bit left to be desired. Unless you consider gang gunfire and overt racism to be art forms.

Plus, why would you go to a strip club if there’s no nudity or alcohol? If I wanted to drink a Diet Coke and watch girls in bikinis, I’d have never quit my job lifeguarding for middle schoolers. Well, I guess it wasn’t a job so much as it was a lifestyle choice. But either way, I think we can all agree binoculars aren’t cutting it.

No booze, no nudity at Missouri strip clubs [STL Today]

It’s possible that I’m just misinformed, but I assume that “sexting” (i.e. the act of sending nude photos of oneself to pals via text message) was never really allowed. But apparently Houston, Texas was giving out high fives to kids doing it (as they should) because they’re now publicly banning ]]>

It’s possible that I’m just misinformed, but I assume that “sexting” (i.e. the act of sending nude photos of oneself to pals via text message) was never really allowed. But apparently Houston, Texas was giving out high fives to kids doing it (as they should) because they’re now publicly banning all texting of nude or semi-nude pics and video. Telegraphing photos may still be allowed. Bold declarations are after the jump.

In Houston, Texas, thousands of students are returning to school to discover a new rule: no “sexting” — the distribution of nude or semi-nude photographs or videos by text message.

In Houston, one of the biggest school districts in the United States, education authorities decided to adopt the new rule before some 200,000 students returned to classes after their summer vacation.

“Some principals raised the issue, so we included a provision saying sending, receiving, possessing sexually suggestive messages is forbidden,” said Hans Graff, assistant general counsel at the Houston Independent School district.

[full story]

Oddly, many older female comedic actors, like Betty White or Cloris Leachman, have an edgier view on comedy than many younger female actresses. Whether it’s dirty jokes or, uh, the sexy idea below of doing a nude scene in the new film The Proposal.

Betty White ]]>

Oddly, many older female comedic actors, like Betty White or Cloris Leachman, have an edgier view on comedy than many younger female actresses. Whether it’s dirty jokes or, uh, the sexy idea below of doing a nude scene in the new film The Proposal.

Betty White really wanted to do a hilarious nude scene, like Oscar Nunez, Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock did in the new romantic comedy “The Proposal.”

“I begged to … have them let me do a nude scene, but they wouldn’t, they just wouldn’t,” Betty revealed. “I said, ‘Well, it’s a comedy and I’ll get laughs, I guarantee it!’ “

Don’t get me wrong, I love droopy breasts and a rotting vagina as much as the next person, hence my work with the elderly who have been affected by Alzheimer’s, but I don’t know about this. There’s already one elderly woman trying to look cute in The Proposal in the form of Sandra Bullock. How many do we need?

Also of note is that Betty White is the only Golden Girl still working in a high profile role. And in a dead heat to be the only one living. Now I’m not saying Rue McClanahan should be beheaded so that Betty White can take her powers, but I’m not saying she shouldn’t either.

[via]

I think that as we as a society get dumber and dumber, people who are of legal, adult age who should know better will do more and more dumb crap like this. See: Throwing rocks at cars in some sort of foreplay “take off your clothes” game.

I think that as we as a society get dumber and dumber, people who are of legal, adult age who should know better will do more and more dumb crap like this. See: Throwing rocks at cars in some sort of foreplay “take off your clothes” game.

This has nothing to do with the story but I think it has a certain charm

Troopers have arrested a man and a woman suspected of damaging at least 14 vehicles by throwing rocks onto them from a railroad trestle over Interstate 5 near Lakewood, Wash., as a part of a bizarre stripping game.

Trooper Guy Gill says 23-year-old Joshua N. Sizemore and 18-year-old Amanda L. Madison were tossing baseball-sized rocks from the trestle early Monday. Sizemore, of Tacoma, and Madison, of Lakewood, were booked into the Pierce County Jail in Tacoma, Wash., for investigation of malicious mischief and second-degree assault.

Sizemore and Madison were tracked down by troopers on the ground with assistance from a State Patrol airplane which captured video of the couple throwing rocks. Investigators say Madison was in her underwear when police caught up with the couple.

Investigators say the couple was playing a stripping game, the rules of which involved Madison shedding a layer of clothes for every left headlight the two managed to bust. The same rule applied to Sizemore and right headlights.

That’s pretty clever to throw a game into the mix. Because you know what’s often not nearly exciting? An 18 year-old chick getting naked in public. What’s the matter Joshua, you couldn’t get her to light some sparklers too and do a gymnastics show? How greedy can you be? You might as well have a blowjob competition with ten Brazilian supermodels and ask them if it’s cool if you play WarioWare on the Wii while they’re doing their thing. Some things in life just don’t need to be augmented.

If you’re one of the cars that got hit by a rock, I’d imagine you’d be pretty pissed. Right up until you saw that there was some slut excitedly taking off her bra in exchange for your right headlight’s sacrifice. I’m pretty sure that’s a net gain overall. The last time I broke my right headlight, all I ended up with was a DUI, a sore tailbone, and a night in jail. I’m not entirely sure in which order those things came about.

[via]

Via on205th (who has a fine post on the foxy Jets cheerleaders today)…you may recall the previous post on a man and his bear suit having a little fun during the hurricane, now there’s this: A man streaking.

More than anything, I enjoy ]]>

Via on205th (who has a fine post on the foxy Jets cheerleaders today)…you may recall the previous post on a man and his bear suit having a little fun during the hurricane, now there’s this: A man streaking.

More than anything, I enjoy how leisurely his streaking is. “What? Me? Oh I always streak at this time of night. If I let the hurricane change that, the terrorists win.”