And the result is quite amusing. For those who missed it last night (reposting it cuz it’s game related, after-all)…

Not sure which is better; the irony of him going “I’ve never seen anything like this!” at the game, which is funny since he has, cuz it was heavily influenced by the movies that helped to make him a super star. Or, his bemused reaction as a whole, similar to most old folks when they encounter something fantastical on television (or these days, the internet).

But instead of it being your grandma reacting to some clip of a cat that slides into cardboard boxes, it’s friggin’ Han/Indy. I would imagine that, despite his rugged persona, he’ll eventually get to that age in which cat videos will also elicit a similar reaction. Same with every other Hollywood badass, like Bruce Willis or Jack Nicholson. Sorta like how eventually he’ll need someone to help wipe his ass.

Tis the joys of getting old. And hopefully someone will be there to film both instances (though more one than the other).

Even though I believe it’s fairly obvious that it’s fake, I still feel the need to, as a representative of this site, to pass along the following. Since again, this site is all about wacky videos of old people and video games…

This time there’s some additional info: she’s Belgium and is advertised as a World War 2 Vet, which is highly plausible. Though the fact that she’s the grandmother of some guy on YouTube who advertises himself as the The Best Gamer In The World is a dead give away that this is a ruse.

On, that and the ending. Honestly, without that needless addition, I could see some folks thinking this could be real, since some of the complaints leveled sound like stuff that someone whose been around the block and witnessed actual action (especially from her neck of the woods) would know about.

Like if certain weapons in the game are too strong, if the transitions between regular and scope view are too quick, plus how real men are supposed to act like on the battlefield. Weren’t the average age of European soldiers back then like 12 or something ridiculous?

As is, she’s just a real sport, playing along with her grandson’s internet hijinks. Cuz the elderly are cool like that. Anyhow, here’s a look at her grandson…

And to further drive home the fact that Americans aren’t the only ones who act all wacky like on the internut, here’s another YouTube celeb, one that I’ve actually heard of. He’s this big Russian dude that demonstrates the weapons that one commonly finds in first person shooters, which I’m gathering are easy to get ahold of in his native land. Anyhow, here he is showing what it’s like top operate some rifle after being hit in the face with pepper spray. Perhaps to recreate yet another common scenario from a game? Or because that’s what you do when you’re a bored Russian. You be the judge…

In case you’re curious, a translation:

“Oh, I milked cows! I milked 8 cows every night and morning…Get up in the morning at 5:00 and give ‘em light…and my dad, he’d go back in and get an old pail for the eggs”

If ever there were an argument against what organized religion wants us to believe, this is it. First of all, the Christian Bible says that people were living until they were like 300 years old in the beginning of time. Could you imagine a group of people having to function as a society while THREE TIMES older than this woman? At that point, I’d imagine you’d be unable to move and everything you’d say would sound like a dying gasp and would result in your body snapping like an old graham cracker.

Secondly, this woman lived a full life. She probably took good care of herself, raised wonderful children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. And now she sounds like a cartoon character and people on the Internet are being mean to her. If there were some higher power out there making decisions about our lives, that just seems like an unfair situation all around.

Really Old Lady Talking About Something On The News [Buzzfeed]

According to police, the elderly suffered from, “nausea, dizziness and [an] inability to stand unassisted.”

One of the trio had put out the deceased’s brownies, unaware that he had been eating brownies laced with medical marijuana. What they thought would be a profound tribute ended up with a group of in-firmed elderly.

The three elderly people were treated and released without incident.

On the plus side, if you’re going to be old and recklessly eating pot brownies, you definitely want to do it without knowing. Mostly because I find old stoners weird. Yeah, we get it, you’ve been doing it for decades and that somehow makes you the coolest old person this side of a Capri Sun commercial. That doesn’t excuse the rank odor of pachouli oil and your disheveled hippie pony tail. Get a job and stop living off my social security taxes, old man!

Seniors Sickened by Pot Brownies at Funeral [ABC News]

If the article headline didn't make you nauseous, this image may!

Friend says that she decided to try the online pool after her daughter met her husband, a friend’s son met his wife, and one of her cousins met her husband online.

She said she was looking for a “playmate” when she joined SeniorPeopleMeet.com, not husband No. 3. But a couple of months and $14.95 later, she met Mr. Right.

The Times article goes on to say that people 55 and older are going to dating sites in the US more than any other age group, a number that’s climbed 39 percent in the last three years. The second largest dating pool on the rise? People aged 45-54.

Point being, don’t be shocked when your OkCupid profile is getting staked out by ladies interested in Matlock and osteoporosis checkups. They may not be able to have kids, do anything physical, or drink due to their heart medication, but they’re craving a vigorous poking, like a dying lion in the Serengeti.

Second Love at First Click [NY Times via Gawker]

First off, in addition to pissing everyone off with pre-order exclusive DLC that threatened to make Battlefield 3 unbalanced for everyone else (which thankfully got called off), EA also pulled all their games out of Steam for their own digital distribution network. And at least one granny ain’t please (waning: NSFW audio)…

… Hey, at least she’s happy about the Battlefield 3 thing, right? Chances of the vid being some put on orchestrated by grandsons that actually game? 50%

Next is another elderly person that’s also concerned with Battlefield, but actually plays it. At 66 years old, “Wacko Jacko” is supposedly the world’s oldest Bad Company 2 player…

… Again, seems legit. Though the PS3 controller definitely raises some eyebrows. Then again, makes sense that an older gentleman might be more comfortable with a compact controller than some big ass, and hard to swallow (even for some of us youngins) keyboard and mouse control scheme. Chances of it also a some put on by his grandson? Even lower.

But ultimately, the one video game system that’s actually found a home at nursing centers across the country is the Wii, which provides healthy low-impact exercise for many of our most treasured citizens. Though something telling me that watching old people Wii Bowling might not be the most exciting thing in the world (unless something bad happens, and then it’s just plain not funny… to most), how about some Just Dance 2 instead….

… I could have also tried finding a Wii Fit video starring an old lady, but that would have been a total disaster me thinks.

Though watching old people play video games could actually be a serious form of entertainment. There have been various attempts at putting game playing on television, and none have been successful. Gee, I wonder why the idea of watching some 14 years old hotshot dorks totally plow through Halo wasn’t gotten monster ratings on G4, hence the need for Star Trek and Cops. But if the players were older and not as annoying/featured skill levels that weren’t as threatening, now that’s a formula for success. Perhaps it could be similar to this; just image video games instead of general computer abilities being tests.

It becomes slightly less funny when reality sets in that somebody probably replaced her heart medication with Ecstasy.

OK Now We Can Watch Croatian Techno Grandma [Videogum]

Here’s hoping the click they heard wasn’t Frank’s pacemaker slowly grinding to a screeching halt.

Yes, I felt as bad writing that as you did reading it. But whatever, you’re telling me that old lady could look all stylish in her expensive glasses and not hit “Take Picture” on a Mac, the Speak and Say of the computer world? Live the gimmick or get your ass back into Lenscrafters generic brand glasses, grandma.

I’ve seen enough of this man’s talents to agree with Gabe over at Videogum that this old dog deserves a spot on “Dancing with the Stars”. Not as a celebrity, but as one of the professional dancers guiding Kirstie Alley through her journey. He could craft a dance in which he swigs from a beer, pulls strings, and controls her like a parade float. It’s what she’s been training for all her life.

Why Don’t You Put This Elderly Drunk Man On Dancing With The Stars Then? [Videogum]

It’s unclear at this time whether Snoopy Snoopy Poop Dog was just Simpson’s way of saying he made an oopsie in his pants.

Personally, I think Enema Man and Snoopy Snoopy Poop Dog sound like the world’s greatest crime fighting duo.

Alan Simpson invokes Snoop Dogg, Eminem in outburst [USA Today]

It’s not easy being a guy posing for a photo. But it’s even worse when you’re an older man trying to be a part of young women’s worlds. Most of the time you’ll end up coming off as nothing more than a creepy old man ruining a perfectly good photo… and probably their night.

*Note: All of these photos were tagged on a photo-sharing site with some variety of “creepy old man”, so these are definitely all legit.

14 Staring-in-your-face guy

The tag on this photo was something to the effect of “That creepy old guy who kept staring into Ali’s eyes”. If your skin looks like poorly marinated beef jerky, you may want to realize that gawking at younger tail isn’t a good way to appear like a well-adjusted older man. Or sane.

13 Dreamy guy

Staring dreamily at someone is cool if you’re a cute teenage girl. When you’re an old man with a full mustache, you merely look like you’re pondering how good their stuffed head will look above your mantle.

12 Sneak-a-peek guy

Sneaking a peak is okay. Everyone does it. But what you don’t want to do is get caught and immortalized forever on some Web site. On the plus side, no doubt that image went into that old man’s spank bank for at least a month while his hideous wife castrated him about not taking care of the lawn gnomes.

11 Me too guy

No matter how much you’d like to be a part of the world of these young girls, you never will be. So maybe you shouldn’t pose in their picture. Instead, discretely snip locks of their hair and make your own young woman out of it. At least then you’re only embarrassing yourself privately. And you got free hair!

10 Mustache guy

I don’t know what it is about having a full mustache that makes you more inclined to stare at young women but these two men certainly have their game down pat. First you get the mustache, then you get the crawl space, axe, and an alibi, then you get the women.

9 Molester guy

If you insist on posing for a photo with a younger girl, if the photo comes out with you looking like child molesting Uncle Bobby Knight, you may just want to give up on the dating scene at bars and focus more on the happening crowd at Mahjong events.

8 Open shirt guy

Sir, no matter how open your shirt is or how much liquor you ply these ladies with, they’re not going to think you’re Juan Carlos, the Latin Lover. More likely, you’ll be seen as Rufio, That Guy Who Kept Trying to Pop Pills in That Sorority Girl’s Drink.

7 Take a picture guy

Taking a photo with an excitement that says “I like to keep scrapbooks of all the sexy ladies I encounter” will not win you anything more than women running away in horror. On the plus side, with your sensibly fitting khakis, the world will know the joy you get from your photography pastime.

6 Smiley guy

Sir, these ladies don’t want you in their photos or their lives. No, your ability to bug your eyes out in a really scary fashion doesn’t make you more appealing, contrary to what the special on the mating habits of the sloth on Animal Planet may have told you.

5 Hairy shirtless guy

This guy isn’t as old as the others, just older than the girls, but seriously, odds are if you meet a group of girls and you’re shirtless and drunk and not chiseled out of stone, they probably aren’t as interested in you making sexual poses with them as you might think. Remember: Women are evil by nature and will embarrass you for their amusement. Well, slightly more so than wearing an armband with your shirtless hairy body might already be responsible for.

4 Metal detector guy

Wish all you want, you’re not going to receive many positive reactions when you tell young girls on the beach that you want to “check where their bathing suit covers” for gold.

3 Sweaty, comb-over guy

If there were any three things I’d say are least likely to attract a younger woman, “sweaty”, “combed over”, and “gold chain” would probably perform pretty strongly.

2 Hockey guy

This may look like a coach but no. The caption on the photo read “Creepy old guy who came to watch us play hockey once”. Going to random hockey games and hoping to get a “stick check” probably won’t result in many pick-ups.

1 Creepy guy

When you’re someone who looks like this guy, there is no such thing as discretion because everything you do will make you look like a big sweaty pervert. So glance away, it’s a service to society. These girls may think you’re a creep, but you probably boosted all their self esteems a couple notches today.

-Byerly decided to randomly begin running two miles a day for 365 days without missing a day when he felt fat and sluggish at a new job at IBM.
-He sometimes wakes up at 2:30 AM to get his roughly three-hour workout in.
-Over the years he’s been running, Byerly estimates he’s run more than 39,000 miles (or, the equivalent of running around the globe one and a half times).
-Byerly’s 36-year long streak is believed to be only the eleventh longest in the country

So remember, the next time you’re feeling lazy and wanting to do nothing but get high and eat Cheetos, remember that there’s an 80-year-old out there running despite the fact that his bones probably have the density of graham crackers and peanut brittle. This dude’s prostate probably functions like an old Colecovision and he’s still doing all this. Yes, now is the time to hate yourself, just a little.

Health concerns inspire a 36-year running streak [Dallas Morning News]

I carry very odd hours. And unfortunately I live in a place where the closest place open near me after midnight is the local Walmart. Now Walmart has it’s pros and it’s cons, but one thing I think we can all agree on is that it has a unique cast of characters all unto its own. I’ve found that these are some of the characters that are always wandering the aisles of Walmart after midnight.

9 The person buying medicine
There is always someone walking around a Walmart at 1:00am coughing and stumbling towards the closest flu medicine display. During flu season the medicine isle of the store looks like a Tylenol PM zombie apocalypse. There are people dragging around, mumbling in agony while grasping for orange and green boxes and coughing up pieces of non-vital organs. We’ve probably all been there but it doesn’t make it any less concerning when the person behind you isn’t covering their mouth and sounds like they have Whooping Cough.

8 The kid buying beer
If you’ve ever been to Walmart late at night anywhere near a college, you’ll see a mad dash of kids buying beer right before the Blue Laws kick in. I bet 10% of all their beer sales come less than 30 minutes before they stop selling alcohol. It’s like watching water buffalo charge toward Niagara Falls.

7 The guy in camouflage
I’m scared because why would there need to be a guy in camo in a department store at 2:00am? What is that guy hiding from? And I’m not talking about a guy that looks like he’s going hunting, I mean a guy that is obviously planning something.

“Bullets… at 2:00am. Wow and a case of beer. All you need is an angry scowl, is there an angry scowl department in here? Amiright? Oh, there it is. Yikes. Here why don’t you just jump in front of me in line, you obviously look like you’re in a hurry.”

6 The old lady that doesn’t like to shop during regular hours
There always seems to be one nice old lady that doesn’t like the hustle and bustle of daytime shopping, so she goes late at night when the store is less crowded. Nothing wrong with that. Everyone has a right to shop at whatever time they want to, but what usually sucks about this situation is there are never any lanes open at night and you can get stuck at the self-checkout line behind a person with two months worth of groceries.

5 The lady from the ’80s
There is always one woman in Walmart dressed like she just got off her set at The Boobie Shack or like she just got home from a Van Halen concert circa 1985. Big hair, too much skin, and pants tight enough that you know they screw with the circulation in her legs. I’m not judging your appearance, I’m simply pointing out the facts. I simply have to assume you drive a Delorean or missed the bus out of 1985. It’s people like her that make me feel overdressed even when wearing my Big Johnson shirts.

4 The cop
This guy is usually just standing at the front of the store minding his own business or flirting with a cashier. He’s gotta be the coolest or most patient cop on the force. Anyone that can stand around and watch the cavalcade of weirdness that parades through Walmart probably has to deal with some genuine crazy people from time to time. Nothing as serious as the crazies out on the street–but remember those people have to shop too. There’s a reason this guy has a taser and I think a lot of us feel a little safer with this guy at the front of the store.

3 The drunk guy/girl wandering around because the bars just closed
If you live in a small enough town, you’ll see some people wandering around at night that have nowhere else to get their drunk energy out than at Walmart. They’ll be racing carts, buying as many frozen pizzas and beef jerky that they can fit in a basket or just trying futilely to buy more beer. These people can be a nuisance and are the sole reason they take the keys out of most of the motorized carts at night. They explained that to me right before they put me in back of the squad car.

2 The lady with a kid young enough to have school tomorrow
I understand that some people have got to work at different times and sometimes have schedules that leave them with no babysitter late at night. But you have to hate seeing someone at 3:00am on a Tuesday grocery shopping with a kid that obviously has school tomorrow. That kid looks tired now and he’s going to look worse tomorrow. Sure, it’s hard being a single parent with a shopping list to finish, but imagine being a tired kid trying to learn math at 8:00am the next day.

1 The greeter that just wants to go home
Most of the greeters are fairly friendly at the store, but as the day drags on, the enthusiasm wanes and you’re left with a person sitting in a chair that looks like they’d rather be anywhere but there. They say hello to the crazy people filtering in and have to check the bags as the crazy people walk out. I’m sure some of them really like their jobs, but most people working at night just look tired and bored. I kind of feel sorry for them until I run back into that guy in camo in the parking lot.

And, yes, I know this is like People of Walmart, but these are the people I see all the time and had to write about them. Got anymore? I’m sure you do, so leave them in the comments.

Part of me was hoping she noticed the man recording him and then mauled him to death like a wild tiger. That’s the problem with old people these days…not acting enough like tigers. Fact.

Old Lady Dancing At Walmart [Buzzfeed]

A food bank in Clearwater, Fla., distributed a can labeled as a “superfood” that turned out to be a can of dog food, the recipient said.

On Social Security, retired Air Force veteran Frank Viscido made his weekly trip from his home in Largo to the Religious Community Services Food Bank in Clearwater for free food, The St. Petersburg (Fla.) Times reported.

Viscido was given the can labeled, “Senior Holistic Superfood” by a volunteer who noticed he wanted products for better health, the newspaper reported Friday.

“You’re a senior. This ought to be good for you,” Viscido remembered the man saying.

“Looked good,” said the grandfather of four.

Food bank mistakenly gives out dog food [UPI]

A 68-year-old man was arrested for manufacturing imitation drugs after a witness alleged that the man traded the drugs for sex, according to an Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office arrest report.

A man told police that he recieved (sic) 10 mg Percocet pills from Paul Francis Miller, who had asked him for sex in exchange for the drugs, according to the report. The witness told law enforcement that he was also given imitation pills that were made to look like Percocet.

Miller, who is listed as disabled, told law enforcement that he had never given anyone his prescription meds, but admitted that he made imitation pills in his bathroom, the report said. It took him several tries to make pills that looked legitimate.

Miller said he makes a paste out of aspirin, caffeine tablets, a trace of Tylenol and calcium, according to the report. He sets up an indoor grill in his bathroom and creates a wax mold for the pills.

This is certainly not a “good” crime, but hey, an elderly man listed as disabled decided what he wanted in life and went after it. It’s irrelevant that what he wanted was druggy poontang, he still had a dream and did all he could to make it reality. This man is an American hero.

On the downside, of all the fake drugs you could make in exchange for sex, Percocet seems pretty low down the priority list. You’d pick up more drugged out ladies with a bottle of aspirin, Colt .45, and the “Requiem for a Dream” than that.

Police: man makes fake prescription pills, tries to trade them for sex [NWF Daily News]

Violet Bishop, 87, of Coeur d’Alene was tucked into bed with a box of Milk Duds, ready to watch “Dancing With the Stars,” when something went horribly wrong. In her words:

“As I enjoyed the chocolate and caramel taste, it appeared that one of my Milk Duds was not as fresh as the others. One was rather crunchy and I could not get it to soften up, no matter how hard I tried.”

The transplanted Texan was puzzled.

Finally, she removed the dud Dud from her mouth. She wanted to see what the problem was.

Apparently, as she had shifted into position on the bed, a hearing aid had fallen out of her ear and dropped right into the little box of candies.

[Oregonlive]

A 92-year-old New Hampshire woman has celebrated her birthday by skydiving from a plane at 13,000 feet.

Swanzey resident Jane Bockstruck tells The Keene Sentinel newspaper she doesn’t know what overcame her when she decided to take the parachute jump.

With a group of friends and relatives watching, Bockstruck leaped Sept. 19 at the Jumptown skydiving club in Orange, Mass., west of Boston. She says she doesn’t remember jumping from the plane.

But tandem partner and jump instructor Paul Peckham Jr. said, “She had perfect form and landed without a hitch.”

He says she’s the oldest person he’s taken on a jump. The second-oldest was 78.

[ClickOrlando]

A Wal-Mart shopper who became so angry about a crying child that he allegedly slapped the girl in the face is due in court Thursday morning, officials announced Wednesday.

A police report said the man, Roger Stephens, 61, of Stone Mountain, had warned the child’s mother, Sonya Mathews, that if she didn’t quiet down the child, he would do it for her.

According to the report, after the mother failed to quiet the girl, Stephens came up to them and slapped the child several times in the face.

The report then quotes Stephens as saying, “See, I told you I would shut her up.”

[via, thanks Carl for the tip!]

I don’t think I can trash him so bad; his outfit seems like something I might wear as a male in his mid 20s (if not in practicality, than at least in the abstract). But at the same time, I’m totally taken aback. I had no clue they allowed zombified corpses into Urban Outfitters. Which is really going to come in handy when the undead rise from the ground en masse. Their clothes are so tattered and smelly…talk about what not to wear! Fashion faux pas!

[via, as seen on]