You may find panda bears to be cuddly and adorable friends. But that’s just what the liberal panda media wants you to believe. For further proof of the true nature of pandas, take a look at this ad from Egypt about a panda working in your ]]>

You may find panda bears to be cuddly and adorable friends. But that’s just what the liberal panda media wants you to believe. For further proof of the true nature of pandas, take a look at this ad from Egypt about a panda working in your office to sell a cheese product called “Panda.”

Translation of Egyptian stuff, via Reddit:

“Fayez, should I make you a cheese sandwich?”
“I’m not hungry”
Then the Panda goes ballistic.
Then the voice says “Panda. Don’t say no to it”.

This is exactly why we would never allow pandas working in the Guyism offices. Well, that and because they get confused when filling out the ethnicity portion of their applications. It says select ONE out of “Black, White, Pacific Islander,” Panda, not all three. We can deal with your rage outbursts but incorrect form filing procedures SHALL NOT STAND.

Ever find a photo that just tickled your fancy and you can’t totally explain why? Well this panda can’t find that photo that’ll take him to his happy place because this stupid kid is acting like a dick.

Perhaps the panda isn’t doing a great job ]]>

Ever find a photo that just tickled your fancy and you can’t totally explain why? Well this panda can’t find that photo that’ll take him to his happy place because this stupid kid is acting like a dick.

Perhaps the panda isn’t doing a great job at making this kid feel comfortable. He could offer him some candy or perhaps wave a toy around to cheer the kid up. Oh wait, he can’t do that BECAUSE HE’S A PANDA. Jesus, kid, cut the bear some slack. He literally just got off of a tree or something and he’s somehow figured out how to work an old-timey camera that took WAY more effort than a modern one, which is a pretty staggering difference to what he might do normally, which is maul you in the hopes that your bones are made of bamboo. All I’m saying is the kid could be a bit more understanding, but I’m half-Panda, so I guess that clouds my judgment a bit. Yeah, my mom had sex with a Panda, big deal, not like that hasn’t happened before in Japanese manga porn.

[via]

Via IdiotComics comes this delightful look at pandas.

Pandas annoy me. I don’t know what they’ve ever done for anyone, but we hold them like these golden Gods and I’m not sure why. They eat bamboo, sit there like a retard with a ]]>

Via IdiotComics comes this delightful look at pandas.

Pandas annoy me. I don’t know what they’ve ever done for anyone, but we hold them like these golden Gods and I’m not sure why. They eat bamboo, sit there like a retard with a blank stupid panda stare on their asshole panda faces and then we’re supposed to save them from extinction? So yeah, I’m going on record and seeing that the next time I see a panda walking around the streets of New York City, I’m going to punch it right in the head of its panda cock. I’m not sure that it’ll help matters, but at least that particular panda going about its business in New York will know what’s up.

There are some duties I have to undertake by being a blog that picks up the things of note on the Internet. Running a clip like this one that you’re going to see ten million times this week is one of them. Take a look at this parody of The ]]>

There are some duties I have to undertake by being a blog that picks up the things of note on the Internet. Running a clip like this one that you’re going to see ten million times this week is one of them. Take a look at this parody of The Wrestler about Uncle Sam, cleverly titled The Uncler (presumably because Uncle Sam does a lot of Uncling, which is apparently a real word according to my spellcheck).

This is an extremely well-done little parody but I would have taken it in a different direction. I mean, yeah, you can do a great job of recreating the look of The Wrestler and nailing a remake with a different character inserted or rewrite some clever dialogue from The Wrestler and tie it into our economy ORRRR!!!! you could film a guy in an Uncle Sam costume raping a panda for five minutes. I feel like my Panda Rape-filled parody would really drive home the point that we’re not backing down from Chinese creditors and the rise of other global economic powers. Also have you ever seen a panda getting raped? Pretty funny, especially because they don’t have panda rape counselors to walk them through their difficult panda emotions. So they eat bamboo instead. Just like a fat girl.