So here’s a question I have…does a hearty urine stream indicate larger genitals? Like you’d assume that with a smaller johnson, there’d be a smaller urethra and thus a weaker flow, perhaps like a whistling kettle. Now I have no way of testing this since I can’t go around testing penis size and amount of liquid consumed before other people pee, then conducting a listening test as to the quality and power of the stream, but there has to be some sort of science to this right? Anyone with a whole lot of wang experience care to help me out?

I never really got the whole “peeing” fetish (though I can certainly understand the “dressing up as things in order to get a woman to plop her cooch down on you”). It’s like, of all the things you can do with a vagina, why pee? You could do the obvious…sex, handpuppetry, whatever but if you want to get weird, you could store your credit cards or wear a woman as a hat. Taking urine onto me is so far down the food chain of ideas.

Residents of a mostly black neighborhood in rural Ohio were awarded nearly $11 million Thursday by a federal jury that found local authorities denied them public water service for decades out of racial discrimination.

Each of the 67 plaintiffs was awarded $15,000 to $300,000, depending on how long they had lived in the Coal Run neighborhood, about 5 miles east of Zanesville in Muskingum County in east-central Ohio.

Coal Run residents either paid to have wells dug, hauled water for cisterns or collected rain water so they could drink, cook and bathe.

“As a child, I thought it was normal because everyone done it in my neighborhood,” said one of the plaintiffs, Cynthia Hale Hairston, 47. “But I realized as an adult it was wrong.”

That’s so fed up that it’s kind of hilarious. Like even before black people had civil rights, at least they had WATER FOUNTAINS. Granted, they were separate, but they still HAD them. Like it might not be in the constitution, but it’s kind of a fundamental right. Even the sky gives us water. We kind of need it. Unless we can drink our urine yet without being labeled “social outcasts”. Sigh. I still haven’t lived my sophomore year of college down. How long can you hold a grudge, world??!?!

The Anchorage DJs, known as Woody and Wilcox, were joking about what makes someone a real Alaskan, when one of them offered a variation on an old saying — offensive to many — that real Alaskans have urinated in the Yukon River and made love to an Alaska Native woman. What the DJ said, however, switched the verbs, making it far more offensive.

Michelle Davis, who is part Tlingit, said she was listening to the show April 9 while stuck in traffic on her way to work when she heard the comment.

“I was horrified,” she said Tuesday. “It was a very ugly image.”

Adding to the anger over the remarks is the fact that Alaska Native women are disproportionately targeted in violent crimes, including rape, said Denise Morris, president of the Alaska Native Justice Center, an Anchorage-based social advocacy organization.

The state has long had the highest sexual assault rate in the nation, and the problem is worst in rural, largely Native areas, according to a recent law enforcement study.

If anything, they should be suspended for making an illogical joke. How can you make love to a river? Because I’ll be damned if I’ve been able to find a way so far.

Anyway since when is it violence against a woman to pee in/on her? I was always taught that that was what love was all about. You want to have a baby, you pee inside a woman, and 9 months later a stork comes by wearing a backwards cap and carrying Vlasic pickles and then he drops off your beautiful Aryan baby. I mean, yeah, it sucks that Alaska apparently has so much problems, but whatever, pee on all the Eskimos you want. Doesn’t affect me in any way. If anything, it may affect my life positively since that’s probably good luck. I don’t see how it couldn’t be.