Celebrity gossip you may have missed this week…

>>> Victoria’s Secret supermodel Doutzen Kroes is pregnant and no one knows the father. Bask in the memories while they last.

>>> A Michigan couple tried to extort $680,000 from John Stamos. They failed, but did provide us with some nice details on Uncle Jesse’s lifestyle.

>>> Pink fell off the stage and went to the hospital (video). She was actually pretty cool about it too.

>>> Nic Cage almost got his ass kicked. Sort of.

>>> Blake Lively and Leighton Meester weren’t exactly getting along on the set of Gossip Girl this week. Tempers flared over which actress was getting the better wardrobe. I say settle it the old-fashioned way in a pool of baby oil.

>>> In this week’s Mel Gibson news, he allegedly punched his baby, really loves BJ’s, realllly likes to say the C-word, is having financial issues, and is definitely not a racist according to race relations expert Whoopi Goldberg. Danny Glover does not approve.

>>> And in this week’s Lindsay Lohan news, Lindsay’s crazy-ass mom Dina says that LiLo wants to open up her own rehab center, hired OJ’s lawyer, buys prescription drugs like she’s shopping for a car, and is really, really going to make some fun new friends when she gets to jail.

>>> Spencer Pratt wasn’t invited to The Hills’ farewell party, but showed up anyway. In a disguise. A bad disguise.

>>> Penelope Cruz got married. Cross her off your list.

>>> And finally Blake Lively’s boyfriend Penn Badgley is kind of a dick.

Sorry, folks, that’s all I’ve got. So since this was a horrifically slow week in the world of celebrity news I will try to make it up for now with a video of Marisa Miller half-naked for FHM (the accompanying photos can be seen here). You’re welcome…