Personally, I always imagine that animals have some sort of noble code of ethics which prohibits things from doing douchey things to win a fight, apparently that theory’s been shot to crap. What next, am I going to walk in on a bear f’ing my girlfriend? That happening once was ridiculous, but twice? Fucking bears.

Seriously though if I ever got into a fist fight with a bear and he tried to pull that on me, you know what I’d do? Probably bleed out from the groin and die because bears not only have extremely sharp claws, but are also very powerful. Pretty much the main reason why I carry a honey pot with me everywhere I go. Bears are notoriously corrupt and will accept bribes at every opportunity. See, you learned something today.

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