For those unaware of the rodent shenanigans, a squirrel has shown up on the field in back-to-back games of the NLDS. Yesterday, it made a daring dash right across home plate as Roy Oswalt delivered a pitch.

Oswalt was none too pleased with the decision by home plate umpire Angel Hernandez, arguing that the squirrel distracted him–but the call stood.

After the game, Manuel talked about how a West Virginian, like himself, deals with annoying little pests.

“Of course, being from the South and being a squirrel hunter, if I had a gun there, might have done something. “I’m a pretty good shot.”

Not to be trumped in a war of words, the Busch squirrel, who has a Twitter account responded in kind with:

Charlie Manuel is too old to shoot me or have a gun. #toofast

And now the countdown begins for a PETA protest outside Citizens Bank Park for Friday’s game…

When you air a live interview with an obviously drunk fan, you’re asking for trouble. That’s what happened to this Rockies broadcast crew as they decided to talk to this Phillies fan during a rain delay last night.

The man began to rant about one of his XBOX playing buddies coming to live with him and seemingly out of nowhere calls him a bum and drops “sh$t” live on air. A lot of credit to the crew, who handled the swearing in stride.

VIDEO: Phillies And Mets Fans Chant ‘U-S-A’ Upon Hearing Osama Bin Laden News [SBNation]

In a rather surprising move, Phillies ace Cliff Lee decided to re-sign with the team after being courted by the Yankees and the Rangers for the last few weeks. The reported deal is 5-years, $120 million dollars, which allegedly is much less than what he could have gotten from other teams.

All that aside, the Phillies starting rotation is essentially one of the best (on paper) that MLB has ever seen. Lee joins Roy Halladay, Roy Oswalt and Cole Hamels. Even if you chalk one of those guys up to injury in the next few seasons, that’s a scary lineup of pitchers. While some teams hope to have one ace and maybe one up and comer at the back end of their rotation, the Phillies have four bona fide studs.

Lee’s agreement carries the third-biggest guarantee ever for a pitcher, behind CC Sabathia’s $161 million contract with the Yankees and Barry Zito’s $126 million deal with the San Francisco Giants. But in the end, his negotiations were as much about heartstrings as purse strings.

In July 2009, Phillies general manager Ruben Amaro Jr. acquired Lee from the Cleveland Indians to be a stretch-drive savior in a pennant race. Lee helped pitch the Phillies into the playoffs and posted a 2-0 record with a 2.81 ERA in Philadelphia’s World Series loss to the Yankees.

Beyond that, Lee came to embrace the clubhouse culture in Philadelphia, and he and his wife, Kristen, quickly grew to love the city.

That last line is interesting only because Lee’s wife Kristen did indeed have some problems with Yankees fans during the World Series. Several news outlets reported that beer was thrown on her and fans from the upper deck were tossing loogies in her direction. Not sure if this ultimately played any part in Lee’s decision, but hey, why not speculate?

Sources: Cliff Lee to return to Phillies [ESPN]

208

A prankster pulled a fast one on ESPNU reporter Elizabeth Moreau. While staying in room 208 at Gainesville’s Hilton Garden Inn, a man called Moreau to tell her the hotel was on fire. After breaking some windows to try and get out the caller then told her: “that’s what you get for being a bad ex-wife” and further explained she was bad at ‘sucking dick. Um ok, awesome prank I guess.

11-01-10

It appears that current Detroit Pistons owner Karen Davidson will have a deal to sell the team by November 1st according to NBA Commissioner David Stern. At the Board of Governors meeting in New York, Stern opened with the impending Pistons sale in his opening statement. “It’s not as fast a track as Golden State, but we’re looking for something definitive to happen in the month of November.”

32

The most impressive number from the Oregon blow-out of UCLA last night wasn’t the score (60-13 if you fell asleep), it’s the number of first downs the Ducks had–32. When you constantly pick up 1st downs on um, 1st down, well then that kind of stuff is going to happen. On the other hand, time of possession could be costly sometime down the road for the defense. Almost 2-1 in favor of the Bruins last night.

7

LeBron James’ run with the Cavs was “7 years of joy” according to his Twitter account. This comes after a report that James dissed the city of Cleveland and its fans by telling them to “get over it”. Speaking of which Mr. James, mind getting over, uh, yourself.

108

Roy Halladay didn’t look like himself last night but alas, even 75% of him is good enough to win a playoff road game. Halladay hurt his groin and often rode the bike in between innings to stay loose. His pitch count was abnormally high early and somehow he sneaked out of the 6th inning having thrown 108 total while scattering 6 hits. The teams head back to Philly for Game 6. It’ll be interesting to see if both the Yankees and Phillies can pull off miraculous 3-1 deficits in the same year.

186-299

How bad has it gotten for the Pittsburgh Pirates? Royals bench coach John Gibbons said thanks but no thanks to their job opening. The Pirates last manager, John Russell, was let go by the franchise on Oct. 4th and it appears there aren’t many contenders lining up for the position. And really, can you blame them. Russell’s stint with the Pirates resulted in a 186-299 record.

3,418

George Blanda, considered by many to be one of the greatest football players of all-time died yesterday at the age of 83. Blanda was one of two players to play in four different decades as his career spanned from 1949-1975. Because he was both a kicker and quarterback, Blanda accumulated 3,418 points in his career (unofficial stat).

152

MNF was certainly a flag fest last night for the Green Bay Packers. A whopping 18 penalties for 152 yards including a late pass interference call that led to a Bears winning field goal. The Bears are now the only undefeated team left in the NFC, although, their record is marred by a Calvin Johnson overturned TD in the first game of the season.

38

49ers’ offensive coordinator Jimmy Raye was fired yesterday by coach Mike Singletary. The reason? Well, it’s pretty simple actually. With two very talented players in Vernon Davis and Frank Gore, the Niners have only scored a paltry 38 points in their first 3 games.

368

The Philadelphia Phillies won their fourth straight NL East title last night defeating the Nationals 8-0. Dating back to 2007, the Phillies have had extremely consistent seasons winning between 89-94 games each year (they still have five remaining this year). For pitcher Roy Halladay, it is his first trip to the playoffs after 13 less than stellar seasons with the Blue Jays.

18

The 18-game NFL season is now a reality according to Colts owner Bill Polian. “I think that the owners, and principally the commissioner, have decided that it’s the way to go, and so the debate, such as it was, is over”, Polian said. It’s a wonder now if the NFL will consider shortening the preseason and possibly expanding the roster to deal with the injuries that will surely have more an effect on the game than ever.

9,318,378

Though John Daly has made over nine million dollars on the PGA tour and probably more than he can imagine in endorsements, he’s had his fair share of money problems. And now he’s not happy that a company is marketing his name on an alcoholic drink without his permission. He asked his fans on Twitter to contact him if they see the drink at any local bars. That John Daly I tell ya, always been a man of the people.

41

The Lakers Andrew Bynum will not be ready for preseason basketball. Instead of getting surgery on his ailing knee a week or two after the finals were over, Bynum wanted to go to the World Cup. The result? 41 days after he had won a championship ring, he finally went under the knife. For a man who has been injured pretty much his entire career, not exactly the best of decisions.

902

When you’ve won 902 games and spent the better part of 42 seasons coaching college basketball, you’re probably entitled to complain about the NCAA. So you’ll excuse Bobby Knight for going on somewhat of a rant at a speaking engagement in Indianapolis last night. “The NCAA is totally negligent not only to what would be best for the game”, said Knight. But the coach saved his most witty quip for the Fighting Irish. “There are some dumb Catholic boys up there”, said Knight when talking about Notre Dame not joining the Big Ten. Knight may be a lot of these things but shy with his opinions is certainly not one of them.

30

How lazy have we become as a society? Well, this could be Exhibit A at the “this is why you’re fat” hearing. You can now order food via an iPhone app at Citizens Bank ballpark in Philly. In 30 minutes or less, your order will be delivered right to your seat. I guess it’s not enough that vendors are walking around the stadium–now you don’t even need to stand up and reach for your wallet. It’s all part of the ballpark experience folks.

940

Number of suicides last year in the state of Colorado alone. “Around the Horn” personality and Denver Post columnist Woody Paige talked about his own struggles with depression and how he planned his own suicide. Undoubtedly, the best and most heartfelt column Paige has ever written.

40

Rasheed Wallace once picked up 40 technical fouls in one season–about one every other game. Good thing he’s pseudo retired now because these new rules would certainly wipe Sheed off the NBA map. Just a quick example: “excessive inquiries about a call, even in a civilized tone” and “body language to question or demonstrate displeasure” will not be allowed. The NBA folks, it’s fantastic!

55

The Red Wings’ Johan Franzen certainly knows about early season injuries. Last year, he tore his ACL and missed 55 games because of it. By the time he came back, the Wings were fighting for their playoff lives. Two nights ago against Pittsburgh in their first exhibition game, Franzen feared the worst when defenseman Brooks Orpik stuck his knee out as he skated past him. Luckily, it was only a charley horse but Orpik has become public enemy #1 for it in Detroit. “It might be the stupidest play I’ve ever seen”, said Franzen. And after seeing it myself, I indeed concur.

Philadelphia fans have been known to be rather brash towards the opposition. There was that whole booing Santa Claus thing, cheering Michael Irvin when he fell on his head, multiple throwing of batteries at players and so on and so forth.

On the other hand, when their teams are winning, watch out folks. Not only do the kids get overly jubilant with hugs and kisses but some of them even try to cop a feel.

Video via The700Level twitter

Now to the intricacies of said boob grab. Judging from the man’s hand size, the weight of the blond, the fact he was able to grab an entire handful of boob, and my minimal expertise in the matter, I’m willing to say this lady is a solid 36C.

Ma’am, if you’re reading this, feel free to correct us if you are so inclined.

Let’s set the scene for you. Bottom of the 9th, 1 out, Hanley Ramirez on second. Gaby Sanchez at the plate and pulls a grounder down the third base line. Enter in the aforementioned Davidson.

Davidson must have the attention span of a 2-year-old because he clearly looks away as the ball bounces over the bag and lands several inches inside the line.

After the game, Davidson offered this comment. Apparently, the replay didn’t convince him otherwise.

“I was right on top of it and it was wide of the bag, that’s all — I had it foul,” Davidson told a pool reporter after the game. “In my opinion, where it goes over the bag, you can’t tell. After a bounce, it came an inch or two on the fair side, but … it was very close. But I’m right there. I know what I saw.

“I’m very confident I got it right. What the ball did when it went past me is irrelevant. … I understand that’s the winning run, but in my opinion it was foul, and there’s no replay that you can really see what the ball does over the bag — and that’s what’s important. But I know what I saw.”

Good to know that Officer Barbrady of South Park still has a place in today’s pop culture. I was starting to think people forgot about him.

Foul call, then game, goes against Marlins [MLB]

Via SIs JimmyTraina on twitter

I give this young man 4 years before he boos Santa Claus, throws batteries at football players, and gets tasered for running onto the field.

Anybody wanna see a little kid drinking beer at Citizens Bank Park? {The Fightins}

The two forces collided and the fan came out on the losing end. Didn’t see that one coming.

Via 700level

A good rule of thumb for avoiding the taser at sporting events is to key in on the weight of the security personnel. Anything approaching 250+, and you’re more than likely getting the jolt. Those guys have so many hot dogs lodged in their arteries, their maximum chase time never exceeds 10 seconds. After that, they reach for the gun.

And then unfortunately, you’re left pissing yourself in jail screaming “Why’d you tase me bro?”

Vangelo told the Delaware County Times that, he “had beer thrown on me and water and then one individual started spitting at the back of my daughter’s chair and he actually spit on my 11-year-old daughter.”

After Vangelo got those fans kicked out another fan, Matthew Clemens (see a picture of this gentleman here), then took things one step further because, hey, when you have one bodily fluid being expelled, why stop there?

That fan — identified by police as Matthew Clemens — was sitting with another, unrelated group of fans who were also disciplined for acting out when he allegedly did what Vangelo describes as the “most disgusting thing” he’s ever seen.

Clemens, 21, positioned himself behind the 11-year-old’s chair, stuck his fingers down his throat and vomited on the girl and her father, police said.

“He leaned forward, he projectile vomited all over me and my daughter,” Vangelo said with a look of hurt splashed across his face [ED. NOTE: Wonderful usage of double entendre].

“He was still vomiting on the other fans that were holding him down,” Vangelo said.

This sounds like the worst thing that could ever happen involving bodily fluid, perhaps other than being Jodie Foster in “Silence of the Lambs” and getting that friendly jizm introduction from Migs.

On the plus side…A+ for creativity. If you’re going to assault an off-duty cop but don’t want to mortally wound him, might as well go big. I’m just glad the Philly Phanatic wasn’t there. Once vomit gets into his enormous, concave nose, it’s never getting back out.

Fan busted for vomiting on cop, family at Phillies game [Delaware County Times]

Was Hideki Matsui hitting off a tee last night?  Sure looked like that from the comfort of my couch.  He was in Pedro’s head right off the bat and Charlie Manuel probably wishes he had a base open to walk him the second time around.

All in all, I’ll eat my words.  I thought this one was going 7.

And while I don’t like the Yankees at all, I respect some of their players.  Key being “some”.  Jeter and Rivera are warriors.  But I can’t, I just can’t feel happy for a guy like Alex Rodriguez.  He cheats, he’s a beeyotch, and he has paintings of himself as a centaur

Here’s some Zapruder film of the last out.  I’m sure it will get taken down because the MLB believes people will profit from a piddly youtube video.

You’d think with two games in the Bronx, the Yankees have this series all wrapped up. But as the Red Wings showed us last year, being up 3-2 with a home game doesn’t mean much if you can’t deliver.

I, myself believe that the Phillies will take this to 7 games. The pitching match-up tonight, in my opinion favors the Phillies. Martinez had an outstanding start earlier in the series and assuming they don’t let him pitch more than 7 innings, he should be more than effective.

But we want to know what the readers think. Who wins this series?

A few months back I was desperate to go to the Final Four Championship game….In fact, I was so desperate I considered taking a picture of myself naked, posting it on Craigslist and asking “Who wants some of this” in exchange for a ticket

Shortly thereafter (at least from what they tell me in rehab), I stopped popping Vicodin and Xanax by the truckload.

But Susan Finkelstein of Philadephia, apparently she isn’t off her meds.

According to police, her online ad read: “DESPERATE BLONDE NEEDS WS TIX (Philadelphia) Diehard Phillies fan–gorgeous tall buxom blonde– in desperate need of two World Series Tickets. Price negotiable— I’m the creative type! Maybe we can help each other!”

I hate to sound like a pervert here but Susan aint that bad looking. I mean, I expected some raunchy prostitute with herpes all over her face. I’d hit it for sure…

(What’s that you say? I’m not off my meds yet? Yea, you’re probably right)