I can’t decide if I like this bathing suit that Rihanna is sporting on a boat while on vacation over in Hawaii. It kind of looks like a swimsuit from the future or something. Honestly I think I prefer the bikini she had on in this photo shoot over this silver piece. Plus this silver one is going to give her some very unusual tan lines. Then again, you’d have to see her naked to know about them. … What was I talking about again?

Apparently I am not the only one who thinks Joanna Krupa needs to get a regular gig on American TV as the fine folks over at Esquire snagged Joanna for the latest sexy installment of their “Me In My Place” series. Now this is what I am talking about. I didn’t know who the last couple of ladies that they photographed were (not that they weren’t very nice), but now they’re cooking things up even tastier with Joanna. (Seriously though, is this her home? Damn.)

12 more smokin’ pics of Joanna Krupa right here.

I bet when you woke up this morning you didn’t think to yourself, “I wonder what Kevin Bacon’s 46 year-old wife, actress Kyra Sedgwick, looks like in a bikini.” But here she is, looking… hot? Annnd sporting a massive tramp stamp to boot. Who needs coffee? Did anyone else know about that tattoo? Or the one on her rib cage? Or the fact that she’s stacked like that? I didn’t know any of this. I suddenly have new found respect for Kyra. Well, maybe respect isn’t the right word. Admiration?

Maria Menounos, much like Jessica Alba, spent some time in a bikini over the New Year’s weekend. Maria was in Miami where it appears the water or perhaps the air temperature was a little nippy. I have to give this round to Maria over Jessica. They both brought the goods, but Maria, despite a three-year disadvantage in the age department went the extra mile by actually being within 500 yards of a camera. That and the fact that, as I mentioned, it seemed she was a little *ahem* cold gives her the win on… points.

I can see why Dwyane is such a fan of hers...

We don’t see much of Gabrielle Union anymore, but when we do it’s usually because she’s somewhere in a bikini. Not bad for a chick who is pushing 40 if I do say so myself. Is she still shacking up with Dwyane Wade? I remember all the scuttlebutt awhile back about her and D-Wade gettin’ jiggy in front of his kids or something. I hope that’s all been sorted out. I also wouldn’t mind seeing more of Gabrielle in a bikini. You’d think with him being in Miami and all this would happen more often. Maybe she can work on that in 2012.

And don’t think that the fact that these two yokels chose a place called Mt. Baldy was merely a coincidence. (I know there’s a sexual innuendo in there somewhere.)

Of course, Courtney’s mom/manager/pimp, Krista, had to weigh in…

“It was freezing, the photo people said she’s the toughest girl they’d ever seen. Everyone was freezing and she was in her bikini with her feet in the snow.”

Toughest girl they’d ever seen. Really. I don’t know if I can cover these two anymore. I may not even watch their reality show should it come to fruition. I think they may have used up their 15 minutes.

And no update on these two is complete without some gems from her Twitter account:

Dear Santa of desire: Instead of you silently sliding down my chiseled chimney this year… can I slide down yours? XOs

Followed four days later by:

“For GOD so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life.” XOs

I think I might actually be physically ill. Medic!

She’s Definitely Been Naughty, But Has She Been Nice? Courtney Stodden Gets Festive [Radar]

Photos: GSI Media

Now that's a face made for TV...

It’s been awhile since we’ve seen one of our favorite women Joanna Krupa. That’s probably because she’s been back in Poland working for their version of Next Top Model, but as you can see, she hasn’t gotten any less sexy in her absence from the U.S. Thank goodness for CKM magazine or we wouldn’t have known that. It really is the lord’s work they’re doing over there. Now if we could just do something about getting Joanna to appear on television over here in the State on a more regular basis.

So Keith Richards created this?

Did you guys know that Keith Richards has a 25 year-old daughter named Alexandra? Did you know that she’s rather hot? If you did, well done. If not, time to get educated. Since I kind of knew he had a sexy daughter, but didn’t really know anything else about her I went to my friend Wiki which says that she is a model, artist, and DJ in New York City. Ah, in 2010, she appeared in the French edition of Playboy… that’s why I had heard of her. Starting to remember now… it also says that her mom is an an American model and actress named Patti Hansen. Damn, she’s hot too. Maybe hotter than Alexandra. Interesting…

It looks like it's a little chilly in Lake's place...

Another week, another sexy female celebrity posing in her her home while wearing her underwear; this time it’s How to Make It in America star Lake Bell. Yep, it’s another edition of Esquire’s “Me In My Place” series. The pictures once again are spectacular (you really must click through the link below for the underboob photo), but the really big news is that we finally know the identity of the genius behind the camera! His name? Well, you’ll have to click the link below to find out (after you watch the video of course).

12 more pics of Lake Bell and the photographer revealed right here.

Coffee has never looked so tasty...

I hadn’t heard of Claire Coffee before today, but thanks to the folks over at Esquire and their “Me In My Place” series, I’ll never forget her now. So what do we know about Ms. Coffee thanks to this sexy introduction from Esquire? We know that Claire has a recurring role on the TV show Franklin & Bash, she went to Northwestern and is a 49ers fan, she’s is in a Bank of America commercial that airs during football games, is not a snuggler – after sex it’s sleepy time, and she doesn’t like waking up with people in her bed. And I think under the definition of “wife material” you might just see her photo.

14 more sexy photos of Claire Coffee right here.

I guess when you’re in Leo’s shoes the old saying that “no matter how hot a woman is there’s some guy out there who is tired of nailing her” is a truism. Even if she is prone to leaking naked photos of herself that aren’t really her. Aww, they still remain friends though according to their reps. Isn’t that nice? I wish I had a rep.

Some day we need to get Derek Jeter and Leonardo DiCaprio together for a reality show on who can bang the most and sexiest starlets. We’ve got Leo with Gisele Bundchen, Bar, and Blake, among others. And Jeter has Minka Kelly, Jessica Alba, and Mariah Carey, just to name a few, under his belt. It’d be quite a competition, I’m telling you.

Blake Lively, Leonardo DiCaprio Split [Us]

In case you’ve been off the planet for the last week or so, let’s get you up to speed. Demi’s son husband Ashton Kutcher (the less entertaining version of Charlie Sheen) is reported to have cheated on her with a “hot tub worthy” 23 year-old woman named Sara Leal… on their anniversary… which Demi and Ashton spent apart. Move along, nothing to see here, right?

So here’s what we have learned since we parted ways on Friday…

Ashton tweeted, “When you ASSUME to know that which you know nothing of, you make an ASS out of U and ME.” So, my assumption that these two are either in marriage counseling or having long, expensive meetings with lawyers is making an ass out of him? And me?

Ashton and Demi then got together over the weekend for a Kaballah Center meeting for for the Jewish New Year. Because they are obviously quite a religious couple. They were both wearing their wedding rings, yet they departed in separate cars. I won’t make any assumptions about that.

PICS: Demi Moore & Ashton Kutcher entertain on Twitter

Entertainment Tonight stated that Demi and Ashton have been living apart for the last two months. I assume they just like different home decor. Whoops… assuming again!

They broke up on Twitter with Demi and Ashton briefly unfollowing one another then adding each other back. I assume they figured out that unfollowing each other just fueled speculation, but there I go again…

And Rumer Willis, has gone out of her way to show support for her mom, I mean, her step-mom, tweeting, “Please give some love to my gorgeous and talented stepmomma @emmaheming.” No idea what that’s all about, but thought I’d just throw that in there.

So what does this all mean to you and me? Not much, really, but it’s been at least as entertaining watching this saga unfold as it has been watching Ashton’s first couple of appearances on Two and a Half Men.

PIC: Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore Reunite For Kaballah Center Meeting [Us]
Rumer Willis Tweets Support For Stepmom… [Radar]
Feeling the strain? Ashton Kutcher looks tired and emotional… [Daily Mail]
Demi Moore & Ashton Kutcher Break Up: On Twitter [Radar]

Uh, JJ, your shirt's coming loose... let me fix that for you...

I know that pretty much every time I show you pics of Jessica Jane-Clement posing for Nuts magazine I say they are the hottest she’s ever done. And, well, yeah… because it’s always true. I’m not even going to attempt to describe how sexy these photos are. I’ll just let you view them and the pics will more than speak for themselves. Enjoy.

I wonder what song she's listening to...

Irina Shayk took to the streets of Manhattan the other day wearing nothing but a sports bra and some super tight spandex leggings. If they want to stop the rioting in England may I suggest that they drop her in the middle of it wearing this outfit. It also wouldn’t hurt for her to also do some of that stretching she’s doing in these photos. Really, when you think about it, she could be the solution to many of the problems in the world. Hot swimsuit models in spandex and sports bras should become our new weapon for peace.

Would you ever divorce this?

Do you know who Eddie Cibrian is? Well, even if you don’t once you see these EPIC bikini pics of his ex-wife Brandi Glanville you’re going to wonder why he ever left her for stick figure with boobs LeAnn Rimes. I say this even knowing that Brandi has a case of the turkey elbows (I’m sure it was just the camera angle, and yes I somehow noticed her elbows… that happens if you stare at a photo long enough). All I can figure is that this woman must be one class A bitch of a wife for any man to not want to be with her. There really can be no explanation. I’d be fine with it though, because you see, I am about as shallow as a petri dish and could totally look past that sort of thing if I got to bang boots with someone this hot.

And here's Chrissy showing off her tremendous sense of balance...

Awhile back I shared some new swimsuit pics that Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Chrissy Teigen took for Vegas magazine. Now I find out there were more, perhaps better, pics that were a part of that shoot. And I share. I’m not sure what it is about these photos that I like so much (other than the obvious). They’re just really classy, yet sexy as hell. A rare combination these days, and I should know, since that’s pretty much all I look at all day, every day. What can I say, I’m a connoisseur.

Fight the Thetans, Katie... Fight 'em!

Welp, that’s it. Katie Holmes is ruined. I’d held out hope after seeing her in a sexy photo shoot for Elle awhile back, but these bikini pics are proof positive that Tom Cruise has sucked every last morsel of sexy out of her. I don’t know which photo proves it the most, the one above, or the first one below where it looks like Katie is only in the water to hide her incontinence. So how old is Katie now? 57? 58? She’s only 32?! What a waste.

Something here looks... fuller...

Normally a photo shoot that only involves four photos would bore me and I wouldn’t post it, but this shoot that Rosie Huntington-Whiteley did for Vanity Fair is definitely worth your and my time. If you don’t the time to look at the first picture below then you really don’t deserve to be on this site. It’s that damn freaky good and almost justifies her being ranked #1 by both Maxim and FHM. Almost.

Nice to see you too, Jennifer...

I’m not sure what Brew magazine is, or why Jennifer Aniston is being interviewed by them, but Brew magazine apparently got the memo that if you’re going to take pics of Jennifer it’s best if the temperature in the room is a little bit on the cold side. We all know very well that bras are not Jennifer’s friend so turning down the heat is always a good move. I still don’t get why this woman isn’t with someone. I mean, I’d marry her and I don’t even know her. Tweet me, Jen. Let’s talk.

Wait, that's not her husband...

The folks over at Armani picked Adriana Lima to do a sexy photo shoot with some male model we’ll just ignore for their new White fragrance (those wacky fashion people and their crazy product names). Now I don’t know about you, but if I saw my wife in the photograph above with her legs wrapped around some dude looking all turned on like that I might have to think real hard about my choice of a life partner. Then again, once I saw the number of zeroes on her paycheck for this gig I suppose my perspective my readjust itself. Eh, that dude’s probably gay anyway (at least that’s what I’d be telling myself).