Polar bears

Fat lady versus polar bear ends how you'd expect

Posted by Chris Spags under , , , , , ,

Polar bears are known for being douchebags. They’re always starting fights in bars and making racist comments under their breath at inopportune times. So it should come as no shock that when a fat lady (brilliantly) decided to jump into their midst, they don’t handle it with much grace. Read more

This is why exotic animals aren't as cute as you think

Posted by Chris Spags under , , ,

I saw this photo a couple weeks back but didn’t post it because I feared the repercussions of the liberal polar bear media but I must soldier on and do my duties as a journalist. Wait, I mean lazy blogger. Sorry, I get those two confused. Read more

This seems like a great way to lose a foot

Posted by Chris Spags under , , ,

I get that baby polar bears are cute and you want to play with them and whatever, but I really can’t advocate letting the adorable little polar bear Flocke do this to you. If this doesn’t end in Flocke growing to full-size and mauling her handler because that’s how she’s been taught to “play,” I’m ... Read more

Great ways to get your face bit the fuck off

Posted by Chris Spags under , , , ,

There are many places I wouldn’t put my face: A bear trap, a pie filled with poison (WHY WOULD YOU MAKE SUCH A DELICIOUSLY CONFUSING TREAT), a bee hive, a bed of needles, Tara Reid’s crotch. Well, you can add “Staring contest with a polar bear” to that list too. I get it. Flocke the ... Read more