Over the weekend, Cain appeared at the faux political rally held by Comedy Central late night star, and President of South Carolina candidate, Stephen Colbert. It would seem that he’s finally willing to be upfront and allow himself to profess his love for Pokemon: The Movie 2000, whereas in the past he was rather skittish about the connection…

But seriously, I was not a fan of his antics near the end, and while I still question the stance that he held on numerous issues, I find him about 50 times more appealing that the all the other Republican nominees that are currently running.

The only thing better is if he had sung the actual Pokemon theme from the show, but given how popular the above is getting, if he runs next time, expect him to do the Mario when all is said and done. And thus he will be officially electable. By the way, best YouTube comment thus far?

“Mr. Cain, what’s your stand on Illegal Immigration?

Cain: Gotta Catch em’ All”

For those who haven’t heard, we won! The piece of legislation that basically amounted to a piss in the face of the first amendment rights of anyone reading this, and every person who uses the internet, is pretty much dead.

Basically, the guy came up with SOPA in the first place, Congressman Lamar Smith from Texas, chose to postpone any action on the bill indefinitely. Same went for the PIPA, or Protect IP Act as well.

Why? All the bitching and moaning actually worked. Which means even gamers, the ones who took the time to pass along their two cents to not just their their representatives but their favorite publishers, all helped to kill the absurd piece of legislature, dead in its tracks.

See? Stuff can happen if you actually give it a shot. Unfortunately, the one group they tried repeatedly trying to get the message across to, but to no avail, was the Entertainment Software Association. The body that supposedly represents the interest of the video game industry as a whole, and by far the biggest game related supporter of the bill.

The ESA spent a good chunk of change to lobby for its passage, and every-time they had a chance to change their mind, they stuck to their guns. But once it was officially DOA, much like every fair-weather d-bag that just want strangle, they immediately changed their tune…

“From the beginning, ESA has been committed to the passage of balanced legislation to address the illegal theft of intellectual property found on foreign rogue sites. Although the need to address this pervasive threat to our industry’s creative investment remains, concerns have been expressed about unintended consequences stemming from the current legislative proposals. Accordingly, we call upon Congress, the Obama Administration, and stakeholders to refocus their energies on producing a solution that effectively balances both creative and technology interests. As an industry of innovators and creators, we understand the importance of both technological innovation and content protection and are committed to working with all parties to encourage a balanced solution.”

Jesus, what balls these people have. I honestly would have more respect if they had just stuck their guns. But anyway, good job internet!

I’m thinking that there’s only one way for the Republican candidates for President to respond: Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney putting their differences aside to cover The Osmonds’ “Go Away Little Girl”. I simply can’t support a political party that’s incapable of busting out in song from time to time.

Finally someone combining our country’s love of enslaving others, giving away things like Oprah, and wearing hats shaped like a boot. These are just the kinds of “big ideas” that have been missing in the 2012 Republican nomination process.

ANTI-ZOMBIE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE ‘VERMIN SUPREME’ NEEDS OUR SUPPORT [FilmDrunk]

Here he is, pulling the plug on his bid for candidacy over the weekend, with the same choice words that he’s been using for some time now…

To compare, here’s the source: a Donna Summers song from Pokemon: The Movie 2000…

Such a shame, I really liked the guy! Actually, I’m mostly a fan of Godfather’s Pizza, which he used to help. That stuff is great, and I really wish it could be found at NYC.

Anyhow, ever since the Cain X Pokemon connection was discovered this past August, when he used that same quote at a Presidential debate (which has been in use for some time, in various speeches, and even in one of his books), he’s tried to claim that he had no knowledge about it’s source and is no fan of Nintendo’s hit, kiddie property.

Though a recent interview with GQ has him revealing the real story: he heard the song when NBC used it for some kind of video package. The interview also touches upon his background as a motivational speaker, and as The Daily Beast point out, most of those folks rarely know the meaning or source of whatever catchy phrases they steal and repeat ad nauseam.

He also address where his 9-9-9 plan came from, and it’s apparently not from SimCity after-all. Or maybe it is, and he’s just not forthcoming (which might be the case on a lot of stuff, or so many people believe). Either that or GQ didn’t want to get Cain all pissed off, like the last time it was brought up (fast forward to 3:37 to see his response)…

Is it just me or is he far more animated here than when he was denying all those accusations of sexual harassment and affairs? Hmmm…

Y’all as tempting as it may be, don’t shoot Obama. We need him to go down in history as the WORST president we’ve EVER had! #2012

The incident occurred shortly after the arrest of a mentally ill Idaho man named Oscar Ortega accused of shooting a bullet at the White House.

Pierce told the Tribune that the whole situation “is stupid,” saying she “was essentially just saying any kind of assassination attempt is just stupid.”

It’s unclear what the punishment for Pierce may entail.

Personally, I’m just inspired by the fact that an attractive blonde in her early 20s is just as capable of idiotic anti-American and borderline racist missives as people twice her age in the Tea Party. It really shows you how fast and dumb kids grow up these days. Brings a tear to my eye.

Texas College Student Says Anti-Obama Tweet Was Joke [Texas Tribune via Business Insider]

I’m not as bothered by his brain fart as I am with the faux-super-political way he said it. If you don’t know which three things you’d be eliminating, it’s probably not a great idea to trumpet your idea in the same way the Gettysburg Address was conducted. It’s like wrapping up a Christmas gift in a huge box with solid gold wrapping paper only for the person to whom you’re giving it to find a pair of socks someone used to masturbate in.

Pretty Sure Rick Perry Was Drunk Again [Buzzfeed]

If the upcoming BioShock Infinite feels like something that’s ripped from today’s headlines once it arrives, it should… even though those headlines are quite old. Because the tale it weaves, that of a class struggle between the Founders, the privileged few who basically run the entire show, and the Vox Populi, the disenfranchised and disgruntled everyman that feel used and abused, is a vicious cycle that’s been happening for a very long time now.

With the only difference it the game being how everything takes place in a floating city. As Destructoid points out, in an interview between creative director Ken Levine states and The Washington Post…

“When we started the game, we had this idea for these movements, and we were looking back at history. Our games are heightened versions of history — “BioShock” was kind of a hyper-realized Ayn Rand if she had made Galt’s Gulch. But instead of having her idealized characters, we put in more realistic characters.

As we developed these opposing groups, the Founders versus the Vox Populi, it was interesting to see this play out in real time, so that the fictional movements we’re creating that are set in this heightened past are almost being duplicated in reality.”

Levin goes on to state that, because it so closely mirrors what’s happening today, he fully expects a backlash of some kind, from both sides of the fence. Case in point, he makes mention of how some white supremacist site who called him out for being Jewish, for encouraging the murder of white people. Oh silly racists!

And since we’re talking about video games and politics in general, a number of folks have recently come to the same realization that the noting of debt that one which has no hope of paying off was something they learned at an early as, as a kid, while playing Animal Crossing…

Meanwhile, here’s something that I’m shocked hasn’t gotten more attention: For America goofy use of Super Mario motifs…

The author in question btw is William Bennett, who was the U.S. secretary of education during President Regan… remember, ketchup is a vegetable kids… and the director of the Office of National Drug Control Policy under President Bush Sr, which means he’s yet another guy who supposedly has all the answers, but couldn’t do jack himself.

The editorial in question can be found here. Entitled “Why men are in trouble”, it starts off with him citing that women are finally getting the same education and equal pay as men, plus other examples of the gender barrier slowly but surely breaking down. Which has him exhibiting a “that’s cool… but not really” attitude. lol.

So what does he (mostly) blame? Video games, like all conservative pundits, naturally…

“Today, 18-to- 34-year-old men spend more time playing video games a day than 12-to- 17-year-old boys. While women are graduating college and finding good jobs, too many men are not going to work, not getting married and not raising families. Women are beginning to take the place of men in many ways. This has led some to ask: do we even need men?

Movies are filled with stories of men who refuse to grow up and refuse to take responsibility in relationships. Men, some obsessed with sex, treat women as toys to be discarded when things get complicated. Through all these different and conflicting signals, our boys must decipher what it means to be a man, and for many of them it is harder to figure out.”

Yeah, because men only began objectifying women in 1985, when Super Mario Bros came out, yup. As further evidence, he notes that he knows way too many young women that ask where all the decent single men have gone to. Really William, you talk with that many young single women? Seems kind of… I don’t know… odd. But anyway, what’s his solution? Why what the Founding Fathers believed in! And that’s being industriousness (nothing wrong with that), marriage (ummm… okay), and religion (whatever dude).

BTW, regarding his call for dudes to get off the couch, put the controller down, and get a job; I know plenty of dudes who spend all day long playing because they can’t find one! And they’d give their left nut for a job, ANY job. Sorry William, but when you spend hours upon hours sending emails to prospective employers via Craiglist, knowing full well that no one will respond, and especially after eating instant noodles for the 15th day in a row, it’s amazing how a few short and sweet hours in Halo can do wonders for the soul.

When reached for comment, Democratic Left Alliance (SLD) spokesman Tomasz Kalita told a local paper, “Party political broadcasts like this should not exist.” Lenart is running for election under the SLD banner.

Lenart, a political science student, says she doesn’t think the ad is distasteful, claiming, “My campaign targets young people, and young people are only interested in controversial stuff.”

Lenart claims that she went for the controversial approach after a more conventional ad failed to drum up any interest.

In related news, this is the most I’ve ever thought of or will ever think of Polish politics, so clearly her strategy works. Best Polish invention since those submarine screen doors I’ve heard so much about.

Would-be Polish MP in hot water over strip video [Ninemsn]

It’s presumed that Ivana Tinkle, Amanda Hugenkiss, and others were also unavailable to speak that day. Truly the one of the most tragic moments in the history of Angeleno politics.

LA City Council Calls For “Mike Hunt” [Buzzfeed]

I think the vagina part of things got a little bit lost in the overall anti-GOP rhetoric, but that’s logical. I don’t think we can expect a talking 1970s black woman’s unkempt vagina to make a 100% logical argument. It’s a marvel that it’s even talking.

The GOP Vagina Rules [Gotcha Media via Buzzfeed]

I’m all for women using their bodies to shock and awe people into thinking that something is a good idea. If I were a gal, that’d be all I do…boob-based Jedi mind tricks. But it seems to fly just a bit in the face of Perry’s conservative Texas values to have these, um, buoyant gals presenting their case for him wearing little more than napkins.

Personally, I’d like these girls more if they were behind Ron Paul. Borderline nuts, in favor of legalizing pot and fiscally responsible are three key adjectives I like to identify in any potential lady lover.

[Thanks for the tip, Bruce!]

It’s pretty funny but, let’s be honest, this is not a big deal. Not because we all fart or whatever. But more because if Barney Frank, an overweight gentleman who presumably enjoys a good rectal insertion ehre and there, weren’t letting out gas on a regular basis, I’d feel like everything I know about the world just stopped making sense.

[Thanks for the tip, Justin!]

As everyone surely knows by now, Norway was the victim of a terrorist attack. Anders Behring Breivik, 32, both orchestrating a bombing in downtown Oslo that killed 8, and later went on a shooting spree at an island where a youth camp resides. Dressed as a cop, 68 people were shot and killed, a good deal of them children.

For a number of days there was mass confusion, which included a slightly higher body count. But now details are starting to come through, such as his motives… a few hours before the attack, he posted a 1,500 + manifesto detailing his anti-multiculturalist and right-wing beliefs, with much of his hatred aimed towards Muslims, from whom he wanted to “save Europe” from. The camp, btw, was for run by the left wing Labour Party, for whom he blames many of Europeans problems upon.

It’s also been revealed that portions of his manifesto has been lifted by the Unabomber, aka Ted Kaczynski, including a part in which Breivik rages against feminism and women in general. Anyway, why am I being a downer and mentioning all this? Well, there’s also reports that the dude was addicted to video games, Modern Warfare 2 and World of Warcraft to be precise, and used them to get read for his “long-planned mission”.

Part of his aforementioned 1,500 page tirade also includes the following: “I just bought Modern Warfare 2, the game. It is probably the best military simulator out there and it’s one of the hottest games this year. I see MW2 more as a part of my training-simulation than anything else.” Oh boy. It’s also noted that because shooting guns is tricky in Europe, he suggested everyone to turn towards video games as practice. Yikes.

Well… needless to say, this will no doubt lead to another wave of reactionary headlines and infuriatingly retarded political rhetoric. Some have even stated that Fox News would be all over this, though last I checked, they haven’t pointed any video game connection out, which is certainly nice. Though one gets the sense that we ain’t seen nothing yet. Get ready.

Norway suspect admits using video games for ‘training-simulation’ [The West Australian]

Well, it’s mostly about judges hating on other judges, but at the very least we get to hear a television studio audience’s reaction to Mortal Kombat fatalities. lol, noobs. BTW, here’s their report on the case as it first entered the courts, a few months ago…

Bonus clip, a somewhat more recent clip from The Colbert Report in which one of the topics addressed is Madden…

Lesson 1: Try to look like Blake Lively

Not only would the program teach kids that it’s bad to send these photos because, well, your teen boobs and butt and dong can potentially live online in perpetuity, but also because it’s highly illegal. Because, you know, kids care way more about the latter.

The program would also teach kids about the lifelong damages that can be wreaked upon their relationships and career.

If passed, the law would decrease the (slightly insane) current legal emphasis on kids being prosecuted for child pornography and focus instead on reforming their thoughts on the process.

Well this would certainly be good news for the youths of tomorrow avoiding potential entanglements with their naked bodies living on forever in Twitpic form. At the same time, though, it seems kind of silly that you’d only teach kids who got caught sending these pics. All the kids who didn’t get caught would continue to escape without learning anything, sending nude photos without repercussions all because they stayed one step ahead. All you’re doing is raising a generation of Super Sexters, streamlining their process, teaching them how to artfully hide their face and strip EXIF info. It’s like Wesley Snipes in “Demolition Man” only with teenage boobs in place of Dennis Rodmanesque blonde hair and fantastic comedic timing.

Lawmakers Propose Teen ‘Sexting’ Law [WSJ via Gawker]

Well, that’s one way to get your point across. On the other hand, are you really doing a whole lot to dispel Newt’s archaic views by acting overly dramatic and throwing glittery at him like Tinkerbell? Probably not.

Plus glitter is clearly the weapon of the stripper, not the gay man, currently. Get with the times, you silly goose you.

Newt Gingrich’s Terrible Day Topped Off With an Unprovoked Glitter Attack [Daily Intel]

The bestiality bill would outlaw the beloved pastime of sex between man and animal. The bill gained momentum after a rise in bestiality cases in the state, including one man accused of accidentally asphyxiating a goat during sex and abusing horses. The new bill would make these crimes a misdemeanor [ED. NOTE: As opposed to current law which dictates he be given a high five and all the seasons of "Mr. Ed" on Laserdisc, I suppose?]

The other bill is informally known as the “droopy pants bill” and will require students to pull up their pants so as to cover their underwear. Any exposition of underwear or butt crack will result in suspension or other punishments.

Clearly Florida needs to start paying a state income tax to make up for all this greatness being done on the people’s behalf. You mean not only do I not have to watch my neighbor reenact “Lady and the Tramp” with a goat, but I also don’t have to see teenage boxers when I’m hanging outside the schoolyard in my bitchin’ van? That’s easily worth 30% of my salary.

Congratulations, Florida!

Bills banning bestiality, baggy pants pass in Fla. [MSNBC]

Beck presented the image on his show yesterday evening and, frankly, the man has won me over. If not with his comedic stylings, with his ability to draw a captivating piece of artwork. It really captures everything I know of Osama, mostly his one dead eye and flowing white beard. Also he kind of looks like Ghost Rider, which makes sense. Beck, you’ve done it again!

Glenn Beck’s Artist Rendering Of Osama Bin Laden [Videogum]