Here’s a woman who swears up and down that she doesn’t have anything against black people. Spoiler alert: If you have to go on a tirade about how you’re not racist, you’re probably a bit racist.

Well, I guess now we know who’ll be doing the voiceover ]]>

Here’s a woman who swears up and down that she doesn’t have anything against black people. Spoiler alert: If you have to go on a tirade about how you’re not racist, you’re probably a bit racist.

Well, I guess now we know who’ll be doing the voiceover on the next audiobook release of Roots. In other news, there has never been a situation in which a white Southerner in a rocking chair has said the word “black people” and had it end positively. I’d be willing to bet a whole lot on that.

If you want to feel bad about humanity, one look at Twitter’s trending topics will do it. Here’s the worst of what trended this week.

Trending topics on Twitter are a lens into the dark heart of the world’s subconscious, as social media users flock, lemming-like to do what ]]>

If you want to feel bad about humanity, one look at Twitter’s trending topics will do it. Here’s the worst of what trended this week.

Trending topics on Twitter are a lens into the dark heart of the world’s subconscious, as social media users flock, lemming-like to do what they see others doing. Sometimes they’re cool, but most of the time they really stink. Here are three from the last week that really made me fear for the future.

#DeepestSongsOfAllTime

Any music-related topic on Twitter is guaranteed to be an abject disaster. Justin Bieber is the most popular musician on the service. Do I need to say anything else? But when Twittards tackle the “deepest songs of all time,” you know you’re in for hilarity.

#DeepestSongsOfAllTime How You Remind Me – Nickelback

— Rosalind Griffiths (@Nirvana4ever) May 14, 2012

This is somebody with a Nirvana avatar and username saying that Nickelback wrote the deepest song ever. Think on that for a second.

#DeepestSongsOfAllTime Marvin gate what’s going on a song about real life.

— G-roc (@4Groc4) May 17, 2012

“Marvin Gate.”

#DeepestSongsOfAllTime Sadness and Sorrow from Naruto

— L.sah \(=_=o) (@kh_ifnt) May 16, 2012

Anime = cancer. Other musical acts that got lots of mentions include Drake, Nicki Minaj and lots and lots of Eminem.

#WhenBlackFolksThrowAParty

It seems like just about every day Twitter features a trend that’s just an excuse to engage in base racial stereotyping. I’m not going to tell any African-Americans what they can and cannot tweet with the hashtag #WhenBlackFolksThrowAParty. My fellow honkies, though…

#WhenBlackFolksThrowAParty Someone always gets shot.

— Claire (@I_amBoo) May 17, 2012

#WhenBlackFolksThrowAParty I call the cops

— Trevor Rhyne (@Trevor121212121) May 16, 2012

#WhenBlackFolksThrowAParty….I wouldn’t know, I’m too scared to go

— Adesh Singh (@AdeshKSingh) May 17, 2012

Cool racism, dudes and ladies. Good show there. Remind me not to go to any of your parties.

#WorstRapLineEver

And why not close this out with a topic that combines the musical ignorance of #DeepestSongsOfAllTime with the casual racism of #WhenBlackFolksThrowAParty? Ladies and gentlemen, if you ever wondered where the people who say “I like all music… except rap and country” went, they’re all on Twitter. How many people do you think made the following “joke”?

#WorstRapLineEver um, all of them.

— GottaLoveRedneckBoys (@LovinRedneckBoy) May 14, 2012

If you answered less than several hundred, you’re wrong.

#WorstRapLineEver All of them. Except Eminem.

— Jackie (@MyDearJackie) May 14, 2012

#WorstRapLineEver all of them? Well, unless Zayn starts rapping…

— Liam Payne (@Real_Liam_Paynx) May 14, 2012

Okay, this person will like rap when one of the guys from One Direction (a boy band that, if you’re not on Twitter, you’ve probably never heard of) starts rapping. That’s great, dude. Way to be open to new things.

Did you see any particularly stupid trends this week? Post them in the comments and I’ll dig through the sewage to find the worst of the worst.

Rick Santorum is in the last leg of his run as a 2012 presidential candidate. And he’s going to limp to that finish line. In a speech in Jacksonville on March 27th, while discussing President Obama, he said something sounding suspiciously like the beginning of the n-word.

That just can’t ]]>

Rick Santorum is in the last leg of his run as a 2012 presidential candidate. And he’s going to limp to that finish line. In a speech in Jacksonville on March 27th, while discussing President Obama, he said something sounding suspiciously like the beginning of the n-word.

That just can’t be possible, right? It doesn’t even make sense within the context he would have dropped it.

I once thought the sweater vest was a symbol of great tolerance and unity. I just don’t know any more.

Welp, I guess it’s good to know that in 2012 we can all still be idiotic racists. The Hunger Games is the hit of the year, but some fans are pissed off, sending out racist tweets… because there’s black folks in it. This is oddly reminiscent of ]]>

Welp, I guess it’s good to know that in 2012 we can all still be idiotic racists. The Hunger Games is the hit of the year, but some fans are pissed off, sending out racist tweets… because there’s black folks in it. This is oddly reminiscent of the uproar after Idris Elba was cast in Thor, but stupider. In the actual Hunger Games books, it’s clearly stated that supporting characters Rue and Thresh are dark-skinned. So it makes sense for dark-skinned actors to be cast in those parts, right? Not according to these douchebags. #unfollowfriday, y’all.

Call Me Racist

Yes, I think I will be calling you racist. So will a lot of other people.

I’m Not Watching

Who reacts with “eww” when they see an African-American person? I mean, aside from Republican Presidential candidates?

Red Hair Like Me

One thing that this collection demonstrates is that even if there’s not overt racism on display, our culture is still so racially backwards that even if the book clearly describes the character as having dark skin and hair, some nitwits will just skim right over that.

Awkward Moment

Is this an awkward moment when you were J/Oing? Because I can’t see how any other kind of moment would be awkward.

The N Word

Stay classy, Cliff. Ain’t nothing that gets you play like using the N word on the Internet.

#sticktothebook

“Most hauntingly, a twelve year old girl from District 11. She has dark brown skin and eyes, but other than that she’s very like Prim in size and demeanor.” – Page 45, dumbass.

I always found it kind of funny that people say that people who happen to be ethnic minorities are incapable of being racist. It’s not that they’re incapable, their racism just lacks a certain wallop. Like in this clip of a Mexican dude angrily wandering the LA train platforms and ]]>

I always found it kind of funny that people say that people who happen to be ethnic minorities are incapable of being racist. It’s not that they’re incapable, their racism just lacks a certain wallop. Like in this clip of a Mexican dude angrily wandering the LA train platforms and yelling racist commentary about white people…it’s just adorable! And threatening! But adorable!

The money shot comes at 3:05 when our Mexican protagonist has a debate with some white guy waiting for the train. The Mexican’s main argument? “Not because you’re white…because you’re..practical issues. You..growl..about how..we want to live our lives.” It’s so eloquent. It’s like I’m seeing the Mexican Americans’ moment of civil rights. This is their “I Have a Dream” speech. Sure, maybe it’s not as eloquent. And maybe the guy should not treat honky like it’s a word with any cultural weight other than making white people go, “Hmm, yeah, that’s a word alright.” But this guy’s got passion. Gusto. Tequila. Colorful hats. Even more colorful papier-mâché animals filled with delicious candy.

Viva la revolucion del hombres gordos con nada para decir pero tienen shortos del cargo!!!!

In the annals of racist rants, it’s definitely tough to top this one. In fact, I think anyone watching this video of a white blonde girl from UCLA going off on Asians who use their cell phones in the library would probably go, “You need to dial that back.” Even ]]>

In the annals of racist rants, it’s definitely tough to top this one. In fact, I think anyone watching this video of a white blonde girl from UCLA going off on Asians who use their cell phones in the library would probably go, “You need to dial that back.” Even the manufacturers of these would be like, “Um, kind of overstepping a bit there, darling.”

As you know if you follow me on Twitter, I’m a USC alum. So any opportunity I have to publicly teabag UCLA, I’m all on board with. But it’s not in my nature to side against decent looking white blonde girls (I’m socially progressive like that), so you could imagine how difficult this is for me.

However, you really can’t watch this video and not feel uncomfortable. “Ahhhhh ching chong ling long ting tong” followed by half-hearted tsunami jokes? If you want to go after Asian people hard, fine. They, like every group of people in society, suck in a wide variety of ways. But this whole entitled white chick thing of, “Well, I mean no disrespect but here’s a bunch of wildly disrespectful things. Anywho, I’d say this about anybody, you guys!” doesn’t really make it right. Especially at UCLA. I’ve been to UCLA. There are definitely more Asian people than there are spoiled white girls (come to good ol’ SC for the latter, kids!) so I wouldn’t be shocked to find this girl diced up and in a take-home of moo goo gai pan sometime soon.

I’d still hit it though. And make her do the silly Asian voice during it. Sex isn’t good unless it shames your partner and degrades an entire sector of society, I say.

UPDATE: A UCLA spokesperson responded to the video to school paper The Daily Bruin this morning, calling it “repugnant” and saying:

“The comments on there are contrary to the values the university believes in.”

The girl, now identified as former aspiring model Alexandra Wallace, is going to be up for university review.

DOUBLE UPDATE: COED Magazine unearthed Wallace’s bikini modeling photos. You can view them here. You know, for science.

VIDEO: UCLA Student Rants Against Asians’ Cell-Phone Habits [BroBible]

There is no wrath more obnoxious yet powerful than that of an annoying white woman with time to spare. Evidence: This video of a woman verbally abusing a USPS worker and, ultimately, calling him a racial epithet.

I like how after she calls him the N word, she then ]]>

There is no wrath more obnoxious yet powerful than that of an annoying white woman with time to spare. Evidence: This video of a woman verbally abusing a USPS worker and, ultimately, calling him a racial epithet.

I like how after she calls him the N word, she then says that it’s okay if she calls him that back in response. Gee lady, that’s so kind of you. I don’t know how the Nobel Peace Prize committee won’t be banging down her doors after this clip goes viral.

Save your racism, lady. You know, for better places, like inside your car, or muttered under your breath when the Knicks aren’t playing well.

There’s a bit of a race war brewing in western Pennsylvania where one black judge claimed that a plea deal proposed by a lawyer is a “ridiculous plea that only goes to white boys.” Daaaaaaaamn.

A black judge from western Pennsylvania rejected a plea agreement ]]>

There’s a bit of a race war brewing in western Pennsylvania where one black judge claimed that a plea deal proposed by a lawyer is a “ridiculous plea that only goes to white boys.” Daaaaaaaamn.

A black judge from western Pennsylvania rejected a plea agreement for a man accused of fighting with police during a traffic stop, saying it was “a ridiculous plea that only goes to white boys.”

The plea agreement was for a sentence of three months probation. Allegheny County Judge Joseph Williams said on Tuesday that a black defendant in that situation would not have been treated as leniently.

In court, Williams told Assistant District Attorney Brian Catanzarite that he “for some reason comes up with I think ridiculous pleas whenever it’s a young white guy,” according to The Pittsburgh Tribune-Review. “I’m just telling you what my observation is. If this had been a black kid who did the same thing, we wouldn’t be talking about three months’ probation.”

To me, accidental racism can be one of the funnier situations around. That theory is highly proven in this video in which a Redditor claims to have filmed his frat brother, a black man, telling about a childhood trip to a cotton processing plant. Greatest story ever. ]]>

To me, accidental racism can be one of the funnier situations around. That theory is highly proven in this video in which a Redditor claims to have filmed his frat brother, a black man, telling about a childhood trip to a cotton processing plant. Greatest story ever.

You know, it’s kind of a weird thing. Like obviously the whole cotton thing was a big part of race relations in this country, so it’s certainly noteworthy enough to bring little kids to. At the same time, bringing small kids with no concept of slavery to a cotton field and telling them they can pick away seems like a shortsighted idea because they don’t understand the gravity of the situation. It’s like buying a three-year-old Jewish kid an Auschwitz conductor hat and laughing as he runs around the house making choo-choo noises.

Kendall on Sharecropping [YouTube]

Well, there aren’t a whole lot of times you can call a black person the N word without retribution and this video is proof of that fact. But the circumstances are just ridiculous. So witness this video of a fat white lady traveling in a Rascal scooter who stops to ]]>

Well, there aren’t a whole lot of times you can call a black person the N word without retribution and this video is proof of that fact. But the circumstances are just ridiculous. So witness this video of a fat white lady traveling in a Rascal scooter who stops to call a black man washing his car the N word.

This video is ugly, and not just because it’s the worst wet t-shirt contest I’ve ever seen. To have someone call a person “nigger” so brazenly for no reason…well, that’s never a good thing. But at the same time, it’s beautiful in a way because it shows how far we’ve come as a society.. A fat woman with a disability (or laziness) is being sprayed by a hose with a black man and the black man is the one in the right. Try going back in a time machine and explaining that to a person of any color in the 1960s. They’d probably think there was an alien invasion. Then they’d see your iPhone and attempt to burn you alive. But still, the look of surprise on their face may be all worth it.

There’s just something about Asian people and photography, I guess. First Nikon accused Asian people of always blinking and now the US Department of State’s National Passport Center does this to an unsuspecting Asian man.

In the National Passport Center’s defense, that is a ]]>

There’s just something about Asian people and photography, I guess. First Nikon accused Asian people of always blinking and now the US Department of State’s National Passport Center does this to an unsuspecting Asian man.

In the National Passport Center’s defense, that is a pretty poorly colored photo. But at the same time, you can’t go around saying that Asian people “look too yellow.” Unless you’re a licensed doctor in China specializing in vitamin deficiencies, particularly those related to scurvy. In which case, that’s a long way to go for a joke, man. I admire the dedication, but you could have just thrown a pie or something. Just for future reference.

My friend just received the best passport application rejection in history [pic] [Reddit]

There are usually two funny things about subtle racism…a person either realizing their error and trying to cover it up or, in the case of Bill O’Reilly in this video, powering through as though he said nothing wrong to Columbia professor Marc Lamont Hill as he said he “kind of ]]>

There are usually two funny things about subtle racism…a person either realizing their error and trying to cover it up or, in the case of Bill O’Reilly in this video, powering through as though he said nothing wrong to Columbia professor Marc Lamont Hill as he said he “kind of look[s] like” a cocaine dealer.

Well, in Bill O’Reilly’s defense, cocaine dealers are known for their crisp suits, well-spoken viewpoints, and that they’re usually the only black men around him. So, he’s not entirely incorrect.

Ideally, this video would have ended like the last media appearance I can recall of a black cocaine dealer, with Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck facing opposite directions, pressed up against one another with a plastic cylindrical object in between them while a table of men throw money at them and yell “ASS TO ASS! ASS TO ASS!” Now that’s a no spin zone.

There is nothing I love more on the Internet than someone clandestinely taking video of a person acting like a complete a-hole. This video, taken at a University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee classroom, features a loud mouthed fat girl mouthing off, throwing a water bottle, and ending up getting arrested for “disorderly ]]>

There is nothing I love more on the Internet than someone clandestinely taking video of a person acting like a complete a-hole. This video, taken at a University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee classroom, features a loud mouthed fat girl mouthing off, throwing a water bottle, and ending up getting arrested for “disorderly conduct.” Watch it and figure out whose side you’re on.

I don’t have enough details on this story yet (if you have them, leave it in the comments), but my “Somebody’s going to claim this is racism” sense is tingling. Then again, given that there are probably five black people in Wisconsin and four of them play for the Packers really doesn’t reflect well on the racial sensitivity of the state. If this were a white kid, the cops would probably say, “Knock it off youuuuu,” tussle his hair, give him a cheesehead hat and call it a day.

Anyway, personally, I think this girl is a morbidly obese, loudmouth douchebag, but you have to admire that she doesn’t change her tone at all, even while she’s flat on her stomach (well, as flat as she can be given her physical composition). It’d be courageous if she weren’t so grating and unattractive in literally every possible way. Her mouth never stopped running for a second, emboldened perhaps by the marathon-training-esque years of eating to the point of complete dental exhaustion. And they say obesity doesn’t provide you with an adequate workout.

Hard to tell what’s more surprising in this story, that someone asked all black people to leave a New Jersey-area Wal-Mart or if it’s more surprising that there were black people in Wal-Mart at all in the first place. Perhaps both. But either way, a Wal-Mart store had a man, ]]>

Hard to tell what’s more surprising in this story, that someone asked all black people to leave a New Jersey-area Wal-Mart or if it’s more surprising that there were black people in Wal-Mart at all in the first place. Perhaps both. But either way, a Wal-Mart store had a man, over intercom, ask all black people to leave the store. People were not pleased.

Black shoppers in a Wal-Mart in New Jersey, were asked a favor from a male voice on an intercom Sunday night.

“Attention Wal-Mart customers: All black people leave the store now,” a male voice calmly announced to the entire store.

Officials of Wal-Mart Stores, Inc. are reviewing security tapes trying to determine who used the southern New Jersey store’s public-address system to make this ridiculous announcement.

Company spokeswoman Ashley Hardie says the incident was “unacceptable.” The retailer is looking to prevent other asinine comments from happening in the future.

My guess? It had to be that smiley face mascot jerk. He’s already shown he has no regard for Wal-Mart’s business, lowering prices to levels so cheap that you’d be insane not to buy. Plus he pretty clearly seems to hate black people. See how he tips his cap to the older white women but simply ignores the black people in this commercial? All I’m saying is that I wouldn’t be shocked if Wal-Mart had a few burning cross specials under the bouncing smiley face guy’s stewardship.

“Attention Wal-Mart Customers: All Black People Leave the Store Now” [CBS News]

We were tipped off to these postcards by someone who works at a Florida history center and, well, they left us speechless. If you’re looking for the most racist way possible to say “Wish you were here” to someone, then look no further. Click for full-size

*awkward ]]>

We were tipped off to these postcards by someone who works at a Florida history center and, well, they left us speechless. If you’re looking for the most racist way possible to say “Wish you were here” to someone, then look no further.

Click for full-size

*awkward silence*

I’m not entirely sure what the postcards are going for. Since they’re using little kids, I guess it’s supposed to be “cute,” but I’m not entirely sure how calling a child a racial epithet is adorable. Now a child calling an adult a racial epithet…file that one under “Maybe.” But only if directed at an Eskimo or a Swede.

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Sprite sponsored a competition called “Step Off,” which pitted teams against one another in the traditionally black medium of “step” (you know, the stomping and clapping thing). One small problem: A white team from the University of Arkansas won. After lustful booing from the black people in ]]>

Sprite sponsored a competition called “Step Off,” which pitted teams against one another in the traditionally black medium of “step” (you know, the stomping and clapping thing). One small problem: A white team from the University of Arkansas won. After lustful booing from the black people in attendance, Sprite awarded the 2nd place all-black team the first place prize too. Commence race-baiting…now.

Visit any of the nation’s more than 100 historically black colleges or universities and you’ll see clusters of men and women engaged in the rhythmic clapping and foot stomping routines known in black Greek circles as “stepping.”

Now a white Arkansas team’s win in an Atlanta step competition has started a fiery debate over the African-inspired tradition and whether the integration of a once-ethnically exclusive activity constitutes a form of cultural theft.

“What has happened is black youth culture, what people would call hip hop, sort of made black culture accessible and appealing to all kinds of people,” said Walter Kimbrough, president of historically black Philander Smith College in Little Rock, Ark., and an expert on black Greek life. “It really now has become an American experience.”

The uproar began when the all-white Zeta Tau Alpha team from the University of Arkansas beat out five other sorority teams to win last weekend’s national final in the Sprite Step Off competition. A YouTube video of their performance, inspired by the movie “The Matrix,” generated hundreds of comments.

“Good Job but let the Black folks have their own thing for once!!!” wrote one commenter posting under the name “titetowers” who said the Zeta Tau Alpha team did well but should not have won.

Online debate rages over white group’s step win [Associated Press]

Subtle racism is still a lot of places in our society, but overt racism tends to be less prevalent than it was at other times in America’s history. So it makes it kind of surprising when you come across something so blatant as a school serving fried chicken and collard ]]>

Subtle racism is still a lot of places in our society, but overt racism tends to be less prevalent than it was at other times in America’s history. So it makes it kind of surprising when you come across something so blatant as a school serving fried chicken and collard greens “In Honor of Martin Luther King” like a school in Colorado, delicious though that lunch may be.

Colorado was the first state to make Martin Luther King’s birthday a holiday, and the annual Marade, the march/parade in his honor, is the largest in the country.

So how does Denver Public Schools mark this august occasion? By offering a lunch menu on January 15 — the same day the city hosts the 25th annual Martin Luther King Jr. Business Social Responsibility Awards — that’s billed as “In Honor of M.L.King,” and features “Southern Style” chicken, collard greens and sweet potatoes.

Yesterday, DPS apologized for the menu, which was “highly insensitive in light of certain hurtful stereotypes still harbored in parts of our society,” according to a statement posted on the district’s web site.

[Westword]

Math can be difficult for children to understand, that’s why teachers often attempt to tie in relatable concepts like “Billy has 7 apples and he lights 2 apples on fire for some reason. How many apples would Billy have if he weren’t retarded?” But how else can kids relate ]]>

Math can be difficult for children to understand, that’s why teachers often attempt to tie in relatable concepts like “Billy has 7 apples and he lights 2 apples on fire for some reason. How many apples would Billy have if he weren’t retarded?” But how else can kids relate to math? Racism in their homework!

When she was helping her son with his homework Saturday night, a Central Bucks mother noticed something that surprised and shocked her.

“I couldn’t understand what I was looking at,” said the woman, whose identity the newspaper has agreed not to disclose.

It was a work sheet called “Solving Equations using Multiplication and Division!” and it featured a photo of a black man wearing a straw hat, shirt and suspenders, with his mostly toothless mouth wide open. As if to underscore the man’s stupidity, at the bottom of the picture was written, “No wai!!!”

The mother learned that her son, the only black student in his eighth-grade pre-algebra class at Lenape Middle School, was teased by another student when the assignment was distributed.

“One of the kids in the classroom turned around and said, ‘Is that your father?’ ” she said.

[The Intelligencer]