From the beautiful…uh…lawns of Maui.

Now I’m not saying that Lindsay Lohan is the perfect woman, because I typically like less cocaine and more hugs (for example, see the cleverly titled anti-drug video I did entitled “Less Cocaine and More Hugs”), but she’s looking pretty good ]]>

From the beautiful…uh…lawns of Maui.

Now I’m not saying that Lindsay Lohan is the perfect woman, because I typically like less cocaine and more hugs (for example, see the cleverly titled anti-drug video I did entitled “Less Cocaine and More Hugs”), but she’s looking pretty good to me. Who knew that to get into prime shape all she had to do was ditch the the tuna-munching anchor around her neck? I’d recommend more gals get into stupid lesbian relationships with women who look like storks and then break up with them so they look this good.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that to be sexy you need to be ultra thing and scantily clad or whatever. You also need big boobs. Much like on an AIDS test, 66% isn’t going to quite suffice here.

[more minxy photos here]

Lindsay Lohan and gal pal (I sound like a real gossiper!) Samantha Ronson were in NYC yesterday.

This is what happens in a tough economy guys. Hot chicks shouldn’t be riding the train. They just shouldn’t. The train is for average Joes and ethnic minorities beatboxing. ]]>

Lindsay Lohan and gal pal (I sound like a real gossiper!) Samantha Ronson were in NYC yesterday.

This is what happens in a tough economy guys. Hot chicks shouldn’t be riding the train. They just shouldn’t. The train is for average Joes and ethnic minorities beatboxing. All the attractive women take cabs or magical unicorns who sing pop songs while escorting them to their destination.

I guess she might have been doing it ironically. She probably heard “run to the train” and got on her back all excited with her mouth open then had to be told that the train wasn’t running on her. Oh, the disappointment in her eyes would break your soul.

Not sure why I keep posting pics of Lindsay Lohan and her boyfriend Sam in bikinis. It is such a paradox for me. On one hand, I kind of like looking at Lindsay Lohan in a bikini. On the other, she’s with that dude. ]]>

Not sure why I keep posting pics of Lindsay Lohan and her boyfriend Sam in bikinis. It is such a paradox for me. On one hand, I kind of like looking at Lindsay Lohan in a bikini. On the other, she’s with that dude. On my third hand, this is probably just a prelude to her munching that dude’s box later in the day. I am so conflicted.

My penis just doesn’t know what to think. I mean, take a look at the pics below. My penis looks to the left and is like, “Wow, I’d like to get me some of that! Right after I get a tetanus shot.” then it looks to the right and runs for cover under my balls.

You know how every so often I break out some pics of two (or three) hot chicks getting all touchy feely and turn it into a lesbian fantasy? If you don’t you really should click that link there. Well, this is not one of those cases. Now ]]>

You know how every so often I break out some pics of two (or three) hot chicks getting all touchy feely and turn it into a lesbian fantasy? If you don’t you really should click that link there. Well, this is not one of those cases. Now don’t get me wrong, I’d love to see Lindsay Hohan in a lesbian tryst with another girl. Unfortunately I am not sure Samantha Ronson has the qualifications to be such a thing.

Yes, Lindsay, there are people taking pictures of you. Why? Not really sure. I guess it because people want to see what it looks like for you to be in a bikini with your boyfriend. Of course, Lindsay’s rep denies that the two of them are munching box. Yeah…

How come Lindsay Lohan being a lesbian isn’t more exciting to me? Is it because she is being a lesbian with in my opinion a chick who looks like a ugly dude? That’s got to be it.

And while my favorite 18-year-old(TM) Hayden ]]>

How come Lindsay Lohan being a lesbian isn’t more exciting to me? Is it because she is being a lesbian with in my opinion a chick who looks like a ugly dude? That’s got to be it.

And while my favorite 18-year-old(TM) Hayden Panettiere is not technically showing any nipplage here, she is showing what I believe to be the most cleavage she has ever shown, thus making her an honorary member of our First Nipple Day here at on 205th.

I didn’t think you’d mind her inclusion.

In related news, I’m planning on eating a tuna sandwich this afternoon. I assume that it will provide me similar joy to what Lindsay’s experiencing. GET THE LOWDOWN HERE…