Trendy(ish?) clothing store Piperlime thinks that sweatpants are the sign of the lazy woman. And a new ad campaign on Starbucks wrappers really drives that point home, implying sweatpants are sending the single men out of NYC.

I suppose this means that Piperlime doesn’t want women ]]>

Trendy(ish?) clothing store Piperlime thinks that sweatpants are the sign of the lazy woman. And a new ad campaign on Starbucks wrappers really drives that point home, implying sweatpants are sending the single men out of NYC.

I suppose this means that Piperlime doesn’t want women to buy the sweatpants they sell on their Web site either. They probably just sell them to send people over to the houses of those who order them with the intent of kicking those women in the ovaries.

Rest easy, sweatpants-loving female readers. You show me a man who doesn’t like you in tight-fitting sweatpants and I’ll show you a man who doesn’t appreciate an accentuated ass and quick access to your nether regions i.e. a man who should be eliminated from the gene pool.

NYC Coffee Cup Wrap Ad Of The Day [Copyranter via Jezebel]

Wendy Walsh is one of those random talking heads who has a book out about gender interaction and, of course, this makes her worthy of TV time on CNN. In this clip, Walsh responds to audio of a Southwest Airlines pilot making remarks about Chicago being full of “gays, grannies, ]]>

Wendy Walsh is one of those random talking heads who has a book out about gender interaction and, of course, this makes her worthy of TV time on CNN. In this clip, Walsh responds to audio of a Southwest Airlines pilot making remarks about Chicago being full of “gays, grannies, and grandes” by referencing that popular expression about men having two heads. Professional!

The relevant remark is about 1:40 in.

I don’t really have a problem with any candid discussions of gender. I’m a guy and I willingly admit that many of my life decisions are based around getting it in or the potential of any situation to lead to some sort of ejaculation (preferably from me, not on me). But it just seems unfair to me that in a news story about how potentially disgusting the remarks of a pilot are, whether they’re “average guy talk or not, a woman probably shouldn’t be saying that a man discussing sex is likely to render him useless in other areas. Newsflash: A lot of men are constantly thinking about sex. Gas station attendants, CEOs. If their inability to juggle their urges with their job functions were a concern, we’d be reliving daily the gas fight scene in “Zoolander” and the world economy would degenerate to a bunch of men masturbating and napping while the free market collapses.

Since only half of that occasionally happens, we’re still good. I also don’t know the last time a book called “The Boyfriend Test” stopped a plane from careening into a lake either. Something tells me that a guy safely transporting hundreds across the country daily does a lot more for the world than a book with quizzes fat women take in between bites of Haagen Dazs. Point: Sketchy pilot dude.

Women are quite sensitive about things that reinforce decades-old gender roles; in between popping out babies and such, chicks are silly like that sometimes. So when a brochure publishes a listing for a rotating clothesline with the tagline “Make her feel special with a clothesline this Christmas,” well, you could ]]>

Women are quite sensitive about things that reinforce decades-old gender roles; in between popping out babies and such, chicks are silly like that sometimes. So when a brochure publishes a listing for a rotating clothesline with the tagline “Make her feel special with a clothesline this Christmas,” well, you could see how women might be offended.

Hillier’s brochure promoting festive gifts from the home and garden was reportedly sent to 900,000 homes and featured the £44.99 Vento lightweight aluminium device under the banner: “Make her feel special with a clothesline this Christmas.”

Margaret Green, from women’s equality group WAITS, told The Daily Telegraph that the brochure’s advert was an “insult”. She said: “I feel for any man that follows the brochure’s advice because I don’t think a clothesline is going to make anyone feel special.

“A gift like this is so unromantic and useless it is likely to create a frosty atmosphere in some households on Christmas day.”

I think that Ms. Green has a point. Women don’t take jokes like this well since the oppression of women throughout time is still a sore subject. But there are definitely worse gifts out there. For example, if you give a woman a clothesline like you were “Macho Man” Randy Savage, that’d probably be a worse holiday gift. And slightly more unromantic. Unless there were Slim Jims snapped into afterwards. Beefy, spicy, what woman can resist?

UPDATE: See the original ad here

[Digital Spy]

Rarely do ads speak to me as a male in my mid-20s with money to stupidly blow on futile pursuits. Apparently, I need to move to Canada because it seems like their telecom companies know what’s up.

Yeah boy, that’s what the Internet is all about ]]>

Rarely do ads speak to me as a male in my mid-20s with money to stupidly blow on futile pursuits. Apparently, I need to move to Canada because it seems like their telecom companies know what’s up.

Yeah boy, that’s what the Internet is all about to me. Exploding out of a laptop screen, getting a little biracial tail that looks at least a decade older than me then ditching her when the AdultFriendFinder premium account expires…this is what people dreamed of when they networked computers together, staring at a blinking cursor. That and midget porn.

While we’re talking about advertising, I have a question about something in ads that I’m not sure if it’s an exclusively American thing or what: Why is every man in every commercial bordering on inflicted with Down’s Syndrome? I get that we’re supposed to empower women and whatever, but does every form of media have to have the Smart and Sassy Gal somehow putting the Retarded Husband into his place, either by informing him or savings or making him look like a complete dolt in some other way? It’s discrimination, really. Imagine if I made a series of ads that were just men going, “Now now honey, you shouldn’t worry about the cell phone bill since we can switch to AT&T. Now go back to making me a sandwich; it’s what you’re good at!” Now imagine me swimming in boatloads of money because AT&T was dumb enough to let some a-hole like me make their ads for some reason. This is why you need your kids to have an imagination; to escape their soul-crushing realities.

[as seen on]

As a private business owner, you get a lot of leeway as to what’s allowed or not allowed in your store. But the rules for this Asian market might be a bit too stringent.

I can’t say I approve of this discrimination against women. What if ]]>

As a private business owner, you get a lot of leeway as to what’s allowed or not allowed in your store. But the rules for this Asian market might be a bit too stringent.

I can’t say I approve of this discrimination against women. What if I need my girlfriend to go to the store to buy some inside-out rabbit hanging upside down that you can only get from an Asian market? Is there a basket that she can leave her vagina in at the door? And is that sanitary to be removing one’s vagina and leaving it in a basket with a bunch of others? And what if she grabs the wrong one on the way out? If she picks up one that’s been f’ing black guys, I’m screwed. One day, I hope Asian people can stop being so tricky. And ruining the curve in Calculus class.

[via]

Colleges in one of India’s states (India has states, who knew?) are barring women from wearing jeans “for their own good.” Yay for logic!

Colleges in the Indian state of Uttar Pradesh said Wednesday that female students would be banned from wearing jeans and other Western ]]>

Colleges in one of India’s states (India has states, who knew?) are barring women from wearing jeans “for their own good.” Yay for logic!

Colleges in the Indian state of Uttar Pradesh said Wednesday that female students would be banned from wearing jeans and other Western clothes to halt sexual harassment by male classmates.

“Girls who choose to wear jeans will be expelled from the college,” Meeta Jamal, principal of the Dayanand girls’ college in Kanpur city told AFP. “This is the only way to stop crime against women.”

A growing number of colleges in Uttar Pradesh have decided to outlaw jeans, shorts, tight blouses and miniskirts on campus in an attempt to crack down on “Eve-teasing” — as sexual harassment is known in India.

Hindu extremist groups have in recent months attacked women drinking in pubs and threatened couples who make public displays of affection.

Look at that Indian girl up there, wearing her jeans. She knows what she’s doing. She’s asking for it. How dare she have pants on that fit her body in a normal way. How am I, as a man, supposed to control myself? It’s crazy! Your fault!

These countries with brown people are f’ing weird. They completely blame women for any problem men have at controlling themselves. Don’t get me wrong, when I see an attractive woman, I look at her. You might not be able to help that. But I don’t feel compelled to rip her top off and start dry humping her face like a dog. What next, filling vaginas up with cement just to prevent the temptation of getting a little side cooch? That’d be horrible. Unless there were a vagina-sized cement truck that backed up to it and let it out. That’d be kind of funny then. Because, come on, who’s driving that little thing?

[via]

You may find it hard to believe, but apparently women were treated with some sort of disrespect by advertisers at one point in history. Here are nine of the most bizarre and anti-woman ads ever.

This is the only foreign ad of the bunch but it’s ]]>

You may find it hard to believe, but apparently women were treated with some sort of disrespect by advertisers at one point in history. Here are nine of the most bizarre and anti-woman ads ever.

This is the only foreign ad of the bunch but it’s an ad for tampons that, for some reason, indicates that a good usage is to tie a dead fish to your tampon string. Now, I’m no gynecologist (well, not professionally at least; I dabble in amateur work), but I could imagine that hanging a fish from your cooch won’t help your vaginal situation. In fact, it may make it worse. Much worse. Especially for the fish. I’m pretty sure that’s how Flounder from the Little Mermaid died.

If I had a dollar for every time I had to spank a woman for not getting me fresh Sanka, I’d have…many…dollars. It was always kind of awkward when I was living with my mom though.

The only way that this is a justifiable gift is if he were regularly slapping her in the face because she was such an awful cook. Because then while a “Chef” is a crappy gift, her real gift is less black eyes. And filing less police reports. It’s a gift that keeps on giving.

In related news, whenever a girl lets me blow something in her face, I’m more inclined to follow her everywhere.

I can’t say I “disagree” with this ad in the traditional sense. It’s always fairly arousing to see a woman doing cleaning activities. Particularly when the words “Dirty Latina” are involved, but I guess there’s some flexibility in this case.

There are so many things wrong with this ad…the emotionally disturbed girl, the lifelessly colored Trix and, of course, the fact that the ad is saying 5 year-old “women” need love. All these factors lead me to believe one thing: The Trix Rabbit has been f’ing kids for all these years. It explains so much…of course they wouldn’t give him any Trix, he was slapping their asses with his floppy ears and inserting carrots inside of them for years.

You hear that ladies? Your vagina is a cess pool. I also hear that some of you have bear traps installed inside of you so that when a guy has sex with you, WHAM, bear trap. The vagina is a crafty beast, my friends.

I can’t imagine this is a real conversation. My sex talk with my dad was basically him saying “Wear a condom and, if you forget, pull out” and that was still pretty awkward. I can’t imagine him then going into a discussion on how to avoid “Ball funk” and how it’s a problem afflicting many boys. Especially if this speech came while he was wearing a towel with his foot up on a bench. Though I guess visual aids are typically helpful.

In accordance with Megan’s Law, I have nothing to say about this photo.

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If you liked this, you may like this other sexist ad or The 7 Most Delightfully Perverse Toy Commercials. And feel free to add your own witty comments about the ads in the little comment box below.

Women are all powerful in today’s America, running for President and showing their vaginas for money and such. But what about the good ol’ days where a question like this actually needed to be asked?

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve had to ]]>

Women are all powerful in today’s America, running for President and showing their vaginas for money and such. But what about the good ol’ days where a question like this actually needed to be asked?

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve had to murder a woman for some sort of stamp-machine related malfunction, I’d have enough dollars to buy at least one value meal at McDonald’s.

The best part is how indignant the woman is in the photo. It’s almost like the ad is saying, “Hey men, she has it coming.” The only way this ad could be more effective is if it had OJ, Robert Blake, and Scott Peterson exchanging high fives and chest bumps.

Republican VP candidate and all-around swell gal Sarah Palin is considered hot by a lot of people out there (I’m still not sold though I’d certainly throw a motorboat to Bristol Palin and her huge boobs, um, once she’s 18. And when she drops the fetus.)…well add ]]>

Republican VP candidate and all-around swell gal Sarah Palin is considered hot by a lot of people out there (I’m still not sold though I’d certainly throw a motorboat to Bristol Palin and her huge boobs, um, once she’s 18. And when she drops the fetus.)…well add Pakistan President Asif Ali Zardari to the list of admirers.

Yes, that is a President of a foreign nation calling that polluted-wombed nothing of a candidate-for-public-office “gorgeous”. And you know, it kind of sucks for her that in an important meeting with a leader of a country who could be a significant part of our future, he’s basically just like “HEY JUGGS, PLEASURE TO MEET YOU. AND PERHAPS…MEAT YOU. HEHEHEHE.”

Whatever, f her. Who hasn’t been hit on by a Pakistani man at some point in life? The nice thing is that they make you feel really good about yourself. And then, if you feel like giving a handjob that day…BOOM! Free cab ride!

Polygamists have kind of a bad wrap in this country. And perhaps it’s justified when you consider that one sect is forcing underaged girls into abusive marriages

The scared girl, already a mother at 16, whispered into a cell phone: she wanted out. ]]>

Polygamists have kind of a bad wrap in this country. And perhaps it’s justified when you consider that one sect is forcing underaged girls into abusive marriages

The scared girl, already a mother at 16, whispered into a cell phone: she wanted out. She’d been forced to marry a man more than three times her age, becoming his seventh wife.

Her husband sexually assaulted her, and when he was angry, he would beat her while other women held her infant, she told a family violence shelter in a series of secret calls that triggered an investigation of the polygamist sect here.

But child welfare officials allege in court documents released Tuesday that the compound built by leaders of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints was rife with sexual abuse, with girls spiritually married to much older men as soon as they reached puberty and boys groomed to perpetuate the cycle.

Well, they say if there’s grass on the field, marry it and force it to allow you to play ball all over it while you regularly wander to other fields and play ball there as well, then beat all your fields with phone books and sacks of oranges.

If I were a 1980s comedian, I’d probably say something to the effect of, “I can barely handle my one wife! How can these guys be with four? Seems like four times the amount of someone yelling at me to take out the trash! Am I right? Am I right?” Then I’d snap my suspenders thusly.