Guyism » Shaving

DollarShaveClub.com has the greatest viral video ad ever

Chris Spags — Wed, 07 Mar 2012 01:00:19 +0000

We get sent crappy viral video attempts all the times from companies that we wouldn’t run without the life of a family member being threatened. So it’s nice to see a company like DollarShaveClub.com completely nailing an attempt like this.

Are the razors as good as they claim? I have no clue. But with an ad like that, I’d be willing to give it a shot. I could end up shaving with a rusty knife from the heroin clinic and I’d still be like, “Well, it was worth a shot. I liked the way he said he was good at tennis.”

7 things to hope men have in the future

Jason Epstein — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 13:00:20 +0000

The future has been viewed as utopian societies where everyone gets along but has zero personality, mysterious metropolitan areas with mindless drones in silver jumpsuits and Armageddon-ridden warzones with only the nuclear sunset to disturb its gritty color palette. But what about just a vision of a future where men have awesome toys with which to propel their manliness into the proverbial stratosphere? I’ve put together a list of kick-ass devices that any man of the future hopes to have at the ready any day and every day.

7 A Shaving Device That Works Instantaneously
Instead of Mach X to the tenth power (or whatever we’re up to by then) why not just a device you can place your face into that lasers off your facial hair based on pre-determined styles or clean shaven preference in one second flat? Then we would have time for the important shaving that takes a hell of a lot more time and precision (I am of course, talking about manscaping).

6 Condoms That Go On By Themselves, Don’t Break, Feel Like Nothing and are Free
Basically what I’m saying here is no one likes condoms and they are the devil disguised in rubber form.

5 Alarm Clocks That Simulate Sizzling Meat Smells to Wake You Up
Men like to live and die by meat, so why not an alarm clock that brings you to your senses with the best non-fellatio oriented sensation possible? I’m talking about bacon-wrapped pork tenderloin, smoked BBQ brisket, buffalo wings, filet mignon and red wine-braised lamb shank scents permeating our olfactory senses with intent. I want this so bad, I can smell it.

4 Cars That Drive Themselves
I know that Google has one already, so hold your tongue Internet. What I’m looking forward to is when these take the place of regular cars. When perfected, it’ll mean traffic flowing smoothly, better gas mileage, and of course, the ability to sleep in DURING your commute to work.

3 Ocular Implants That Help Identify Fake Boobs
This’ll help guys who love fake girls to find them quick and guys who dislike them to turn and run. I’d have to imagine that there’s a market for this in Southern California.

2 Light Sabers
I shouldn’t even have to explain this. But, it can be used as a weapon as easily as it can be used as hedge clippers or a Carpaccio knife. You don’t have to be one with the force to wield an item you can buy at any home appliance store… in the future.

1 Alcohol with No Hangover
Sure you might black out, send pictures of your uvula to your entire office and eat your weight in bagel bites, but at least you’ll be fresh in the morning and ready to drink once again. Go you.

Gilette tells you how to shave your pubes

Chris Spags — Tue, 26 May 2009 14:59:11 +0000

I’d like to point out that this isn’t an ad because it certainly seems like it would be. But no, this ad by Gilette instructing you how to shave a man’s pubes (i.e. shave your own if you’re a man, not walk up to some stranger and do it for him) just struck me as a bit weird.

The things that stand out the most to me is that A) Gilette apparently thinks that I need to make my penis look larger and B) The joy coming off this cartoon man’s face when he shaves his crotch is unparalleled. I’m not ashamed to admit I keep things well-groomed in the groinal area. But I’ve never been so overcome with joy as I do it that I need to smile while I’m taking a sharp blade to my crotch. Then again, I don’t often find my penis covered in mosaics too often, so I guess I can’t totally relate to the plight of this blue man.

Anyway, if Gilette wants to pay me in exchange for this awesome plug, please feel free. I’d prefer some sort of monetary payment that doesn’t involve a giant bag of pube shavings with a letter signed “Thanks for the help raising cockshaving awareness. Here’s the fruits of your labor. Love, Steve Gilette.”

HEY I HEARD YOU LIKED SHAVED COOCHES

Chris Spags — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 19:37:57 +0000

SCHICK IS LAUNCHING A REALLY SUBTLE CAMPAIGN ABOUT BODILY GROOMING FOR WOMEN AND IT’S REALLY SUBTLE. HERE’S THE SECOND AD IN THE CAMPAIGN. REALLY SUBTLE.

I’M REALLY GLAD THERE ARE CLEVER COMPANIES LIKE SCHICK OUT THERE WHO DON’T BEAT YOU OVER THE HEAD WITH A CONCEPT. I WAS TOTALLY CONFUSED AS TO WHAT SCHICK WANTED ME TO DO BUT BAM, YOU GOT ME SUCKED IN WITH YOUR WRY PORTRAYAL OF THE PRODUCT! I WILL NEVER ALLOW A VAGINA TO GO UNSHAVEN IN MY PRESENCE AGAIN! EVEN IF IT’S…BY FORCE. *dun dun dunnnn