Pictured left is the lovely and talented young writer Katie Nolan. She’s the creator of the very entertaining Tumblr site “Bitches Can’t Hang”, a site dedicated to calling out women for their failures, and occasional successes, at being cool. She’ll be bringing you a weekly feature “This Week in Women”, in which she hands out awards to women making news that week and mocks them in hilarious fashion.

And pictured right are the avatars of Dane Robert and Brandon Mendelson, a duo going by the name “Dear Pricks”. Their site, coincidentally called DearPricks.com, involves the team’s creative responses to reader questions. With the tag line “Honest Answers. Bad Advice.”, Robert and Mendelson give ridiculously funny answers to all of life’s quandries that occasionally revolve around the sexual assault of “Kim Possible”, shaking women, and Russian porn. Their new column, also conveniently titled “Dear Pricks”, will be appearing weekly here as well.

So you’ve heard about these two new exciting features and you’re wondering, “Can you get to the point and tell me how I can get in on this?” First of all, stop being so rude. Second of all, here’s the criteria:

-We’re looking for people who are creative and talented but perhaps haven’t broken out in a big way yet. If you have a site you’ve been plugging away at that people can follow you to, that’ll only help your candidacy.
-This isn’t going to be some catch-all thing when any a-hole can submit his content and we’ll pretend it’s awesome and run it. We’re only going to run stuff we find to be cool with a unique voice.
-DON’T just submit some half-assed list or something similar to what we already do. It’s done regularly on Guyism almost daily as is.
-Being different and entertaining or interesting is going to be way more appealing to us than rehashing something someone else is doing elsewhere. And filling something we don’t regularly cover on Guyism that’s still relevant to our audience will probably get you the most attention if we do pick you.
-Be prepared to submit only new, original content. We don’t do sloppy seconds here.

So that’s about it. If you’re interested in being a “Guyism Opinions” contributor and getting access to all of the readers and resources we’ve built here, send an email to guyismopinions@guyism.com. A little bit about yourself, any links to your relevant work (writing, videos, whatever) are necessary. If you have a concept in mind, that’s great. If not and we like you, we’ll work with you on it. We’ll probably only be bringing on another three or so people into Guyism Opinions for now, so get your applications in quickly.

So there you go. Send your email along now, make sure to read Katie and the Pricks, and hopefully you’ll be seen on Guyism soon!

All you have to do is sign up with your email address (no spam, ever) and you’ll be among the first in line to check the site out when we have it close to ready for public consumption.

And, as an added bonus for being a valued member of the Guyism Team, you’ll be entered to win a $500 Amazon gift card when we launch the beta. The more people you invite to join you on the velvet rope for the first beta invites, the more chances you get to win the money.

So go to the Guyism Rebrand Beta Launch homepage now and sign up. We’re calling it The Evolution of What Guys Need. We think you’ll agree.

Matt will work in concert with Tech Editor Will Brinson to bring you what we believe is the best gaming and gadgets content you’ll find on any men’s interests site.

You can currently follow along with Matt (along with our other good looking and talented newish editors the aforementioned Mr. Brinson and Style Editor Gabe Alonso) in Guyism’s Lifestyle section or via his author page.

So please welcome Matt aboard and shower him with all sorts of praises and bodily fluids.

All you have to do to win $500 in sweet sweet Amazon cash is be our March commenter of the month.

What to do:
-Just comment on any Guyism posts using the same valid email (or Facebook/Twitter account…we just need some way to contact you if you win).
-Leave as many interesting, funny, or insightful comments on as many posts as you can. There’s no maximum nor a minimum number of comments required. So if you leave twenty great comments, you can beat out one hundred “eh” ones, for sure. It’s totally subjective by our staff vote. That said, if you comment a lot, we’ll definitely be more likely to notice your contributions. It’s all up to you!
-Reply, interact, contribute. Being a good commenter can take form in a variety of ways. We’ll be keeping a steady eye on what everyone posts on here so if you do something awesome, no matter how small, we’ll notice.
-INTERNATIONAL USERS CAN WIN! Since it’s a gift card from Amazon, the e-commerce site for THE WORLD, you could be anywhere from Seattle to …uh, somewhere in another country very far from Seattle.

On March 31st, we’ll pick a winner and announce it here on the site.

So do you have what it takes to be Guyism’s comment king or queen and win 500 bucks straight Amazon cash homie? Let’s find out!

-You submit an image to the Guyism Tumblr. Images should not be racist, hateful, NSFW, etc.
-You can submit two images MAXIMUM to the Guyism Tumblr (any additional ones after the first two will be discarded).
-Use a valid email upon submitting so we can contact you if you win.
-The entries with the most “likes” and “reblogs” on Tumblr win the prizes. If there is a tie, we’ll decide which ones we like more.
-Entries must be submitted before Saturday at 5PM Eastern. Numbers of likes and reblogs will be tallied Sunday evening.
-Prizes will be granted according to who wants what in order of most likes/reblogs received to least likes/reblogs received (i.e. if you get the most reblogs/likes, you get first choice of prize. Second most reblogs/likes gets second choice. Etc, etc).
-THIS CONTEST IS OPEN TO UNITED STATES ENTRANTS ONLY.

Now the advantage to being an existing Tumblr user doing this is that you have your own audience on there more willing to like/reblog your submissions. But still, quality and originality will win out over all else.

The prizes up for grabs?

-A Rock Band 3 Squier by Fender Stratocaster Guitar Controller, courtesy of Schick (worth $279)
-A Warpia StreamHD player (worth $75)
-Two copies of “Remembering Fenway Park: An Oral and Narrative History of the Home of the Boston Red Sox” coffee table book (worth $45 each)
-And five, yes, five copies of our boy Daniel Tosh’s new stand-up special “Happy Thoughts” (which will also be airing live on Comedy Central this Sunday, March 6th…check out the preview below)

Any questions, leave them in the comments. Submissions begin…now!

So after last week’s awesome “Last Before 3PM Contest”, we restocked our prize closet with some cool stuff and we’re ready to go back with a new contest. The goal this time? Make our founding editor, me, laugh on the Guyism Facebook page.

The prizes up for grabs include:

A 24-inch LED TV from Sceptre, retail value of $399.99. Marketing schpiel on it (TL;DR It’s cool and the best 24 inch you can get right now):

Sceptre’s new sleek and slim 24″ LED’s have six different colors to choose from: pink, pearl white, black, red, blue, and chrome, so they have that going for them, which is nice. More importantly they also come with 1080P full LED HDTV, crystal clear LED display with ultra-fast 5ms response time that let’s you watch all your favorite shows flicker free (at 1920×1080 resolution, sweet), plus these LED’s have 14,000:1 dynamic contrast ratio which helps make the images become darker or lighter depending on the contrast that it needs.

A Casio Pathfinder 240, retail value of $250. Marketing schpiel:

The Pathfinder 240 is also solar-powered and features Casio’s one-touch triple sensor technology (altimeter/barometer, thermometer, and digital compass), sunrise and sunset data, and the world time (for 48 cities), but at a more affordable $250.00 versus $450.00 for the Pathfinder 5000.

And a prize pack from Fuse TV for its special airing Friday at 9:30 “Fuse Presents: Linkin Park” that includes “A Thousand Suns” album signed by the band, a Linkin Park poster, a Fuse TV backpack, and additional merch from Fuse.

All you have to do is “like” Guyism on Facebook and let your funniest one-liners and images fly on the post we make on our Facebook page Thursday afternoon at 1PM Eastern. The three comments that make me laugh the hardest between that time and the contest’s close at 4PM Eastern on Friday win a prize. Submit as many entries as you like.

So click the like button on our page now and get moving!

-A Gillette Odor Shield prize pack which included Gillette’s best-in-class body wash and deodorants along with a $100 American Express gift card.
-An iPod Nano 6 and iWatchz Nanoclipz, retail value of over $250.
-A Happy Hour Time Pieces Bottoms Up watch, retailing at $150.

We’re going to try to do these exclusive Facebook giveaways more often, so make sure to join our Facebook page today. We’ll never spam you with a lot of stuff, so check it out.

So from that idea, we created Guyism with the goal of making it “The People’s Men’s Site.” Our team of staffers and freelancers does its best to find cool stuff you’ll want to read and share as well as create the humor, celebrity, sports, and lifestyle content men actually want to read.

But without you, dear reader, this site wouldn’t be where it is today. We don’t indulge the Web site dick measuring contests too much, but we’ve reached a point where we have about two million readers each month checking out Guyism content. All without a parent media company pushing us traffic or a team of twenty people optimizing SEO or even an ad budget to speak of. Not too shabby.

We do this part time (fun fact: our editors all have day jobs) because we’ve aspired to create something we can be proud of. That you, a man surfing the Internet at work, can just enjoy for fifteen minutes on your lunch break. And we couldn’t build this site to where it is without you, dear reader.

To show our gratitude, in our next year, we will be unleashing all sorts of exciting new things. We’re planning on expanding into video games, gadgets, and fashion in the not-too-distant future, all with the distinct Guyism flavor you’ve come to expect. We’ll also be unveiling some interesting product announcements in the coming months. We’re doing what we can to make this site into something with a little bit for every man out there.

So thank you for your patience and your patronage. We couldn’t be where we are, or as excited as we are about the coming year, without your visits and clicks. We adore you all.

Sincerely,
Team Guyism