The 18th Annual Screen Actors Guild (SAG) Awards took place last night. Yes, that makes three awards shows in three weeks. These people never tire of congratulating themselves and we’re just getting started. So for those of you that are interested, here are the results and some pictures of pretty women.

Outstanding Cast in a Motion Picture — The Help
Outstanding Female Actor in a Leading Role — Viola Davis, The Help
Outstanding Male Actor in a Leading Role — Jean Dujardin, The Artist
Outstanding Ensemble in a Drama Series — Boardwalk Empire
Outstanding Male Actor in a Drama Series — Steve Buscemi, Boardwalk Empire
Outstanding Female Actor in a Drama Series — Jessica Lange, American Horror Story
Screen Actors Guild Lifetime Achievement Award — Mary Tyler Moore
Outstanding Male Actor in a TV Movie or Mini-Series — Paul Giamatti, Too Big to Fail
Outstanding Female Actor in a TV Movie or Mini-Series — Kate Winslet, Mildred Pierce
Outstanding Ensemble in a Comedy Series — Modern Family
Outstanding Female Actor in a Comedy Series — Betty White, Hot in Cleveland
Outstanding Male Actor in a Comedy Series — Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
Outstanding Female Actor in a Supporting Role — Octavia Spencer, The Help
Outstanding Male Actor in a Supporting Role — Christopher Plummer, Beginners

In order below: Amber Heard, Angelina Jolie, Ashlee Simpson, Diane Lane, Dianna Agron, Ellie Kemper, Emily Blunt, Emma Stone, Gretchen Mol, Heather Morris, Jayma Mays, Jennifer Carpenter, Jessica Chastain, Judy Greer, Julianna Margulies, Kaley Cuoco, Katrina Bowden, Kelly Osbourne, Lea Michele, Maria Menounos, Michelle Williams, Natalie Portman, Naya Rivera, Paz Vega, Rose Byrne, Sarah Hyland, Sofia Vergara, and Stacy Keibler.

Sofia Vergara went to something called 23rd Annual Producer’s Guild Awards over the weekend. And she wore this dress. That’s really the whole story. I could tell you what the event was for or why she was there, but who are we kidding? The whole reason for me typing anything here at all is because if I didn’t it’d just look odd. Honestly what I should have just written here was, “Wow. Sofia Vergara. Cleavage.” And be done. Enjoy.

I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave...

The last time we checked in on Sofia Vergara she was telling us about the time she ignored advice to get her breasts reduced. Today we find out that she likes to walk around L.A. wearing see-through pants (and no underwear). The woman just keeps on making good decisions. The only problem I see here now is that I can’t decide whether I prefer the 39 year-old Colombian bombshell better from the front or from the back. Decisions, decisions…

“When I moved to America, I was more voluptuous, and I felt a little different,” the Modern Family star tells the December issue of Health. “My publicist [at the time] told me, ‘I think you should just reduce your boobs because nobody’s going to take you seriously here.”

Vergara, 39, says her mother “almost had a heart attack” when she considered getting a breast reduction.

“She was like, ‘God is going to punish you! You can’t cut your boobs!’” Vergara recalls. “I don’t regret not doing it, because now it’s become a big part of [my character on Modern Family].”

“Not everybody’s confident their whole life. For a long time, I thought that my boobs were too big. I was, like, 14 years old, and I already had these huge boobs. I was very skinny also,” she explains.

Let’s analyze a few of items in these quotes. The publicist said no one would take her seriously with her 34DD’s. Stupid. Her mother almost had a heart attack when she heard the advice. Smart. Her boobs have become a big part of her character. Understatement. When she was 14 she had big boobs and was very skinny. Popular. Analysis complete. Now here’s a deeper look at what some fool wanted to deprive us from ever fully enjoying.

Sofia Vergara: My Publicist Told Me to Get a Breast Reduction [Us]

Inevitably, during your busy work week, there are videos you probably missed on Guyism. But don’t fret, we’ve compiled some of the best in one post for you, including a Guyism original of Sofia Vergara.

The Many Mispronunciations of Sofia Vergara

The latest Guyism Original from the lovely and talented Ryan Jones (who just returned from teaching refugees in Africa how to document their lives…isn’t he dreamy, ladies?) looks at ABC’s Emmy-winning hit Modern Family. In this mash-up, we document the many mispronunciations of the unreasonably attractive Sofia Vergara’s character Gloria. Enjoy!

You can see our previous Guyism Originals compiled here.

This is a dude emerging from his homemade vagina tent

I really can’t emphasize enough how not-safe-for-life this is. But watch it. In this clip you’ll see a man who built himself a tent shaped like a woman’s body that’s large enough to sleep in. And, naturally, you enter and exit through the vagina part of the tent.

Two busty girls in bikinis give Chuck Norris-like facts about Rick Perry

GOP presidential candidate Rick Perry is one of the frontrunners to represent the Republican party in the 2012 election. But his constituency may be different than you think, based on this clip in which two girls in skimpy bikinis tout “Rick Perry Facts.” It’s surreal to say the least.

Bill Belichick dressed up as a pirate and roller skating

In the conclusion of A Football Life on NFL Network, a mic’d up Bill Belichick accepts an invitation from Randy Moss for a team Halloween party. The next scene cuts to Belichick dressed up as a pirate with girlfriend Linda Holliday in tow. And yes, they enjoyed a nice stroll around the roller skating rink.

Despite his old age, Belichick still has some wheels.

This is Chris Brown sucking a girl’s knee for some reason

Chris Brown does a lot of silly things that occasionally involve temper tantrums or feuding with Fox News hosts. But in this clip, he shows his softer side by, uh, sucking some chick’s knee during a show in Detroit.

So apparently there’s a baseball game in which all the players are bobbleheads

And apparently MLB Bobblehead Pros is not that bad? So now you can try and have bobbleheaded [insert name of your fave ball player] hit a ball right at the now bouncy skull of bobbleheaded [insert name of your most hated ball player].

So I came across this not too long ago, on a site that specializes in Japanese video game news…

Husky kid completely fails at rope swing

Honestly, bigger guys and gals just need to avoid rope swings. First we had the chunky girl faceplanting during a rope swing, now this kid. Be careful out there, our pudgy pals.

The biggest Pee Wee football hit you will ever see

Dunta Robinson, please step aside sir. This Pee Wee football player not only hits hard, but his hits are clean.

Drunk driver pulls over to pee while fleeing police

When driving drunk, you have two options: Pull over for the safety for society OR make an ill-advised decision to get away. The guy in this video took option two, only combined it with the even more brilliant move of pulling over to pee during a high speed chase.

Drunk old man shows off his dance moves at Kentucky tailgate

Apparently, getting drunk and saucy at tailgates is not limited to college youth. Last night, MGOBLOG posted a video of two grandmas shotgunning beers. And now this morning, we’ve unearthed video of this old, drunk Kentucky fan getting his groove on.

The latest Guyism Original from the lovely and talented Ryan Jones (who just returned from teaching refugees in Africa how to document their lives…isn’t he dreamy, ladies?) looks at ABC’s Emmy-winning hit Modern Family. In this mash-up, we document the many mispronunciations of the unreasonably attractive Sofia Vergara’s character Gloria. Enjoy!

You can see our previous Guyism Originals compiled here.

Okay, now stand up and keep your hands completely away from the dress...

I am just going to go ahead and say that Sofia Vergara is the best actress out there at knowing how to get her picture taken for magazines. This spread she did for Vanity Fair with her friends Major Sideboob and Captain Cleavage simply cement it. Throw in that little see through number she’s got on and any argument for giving someone else the title really becomes invalid. Bravo, Sofia, bravo.

I'd buy this video if it was real...

I don’t know how many of you were able to weather the Oscars snoozefest last night and managed to stay awake for Jimmy Kimmel Live, but if you didn’t you missed Scarlett Johansson, Minka Kelly, Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Sofia Vergara, Eva Longoria, Emily Blunt and Kelly Ripa in tight outfits dry-humping exercise balls. That’s right. If they had shown this for three hours instead of the Oscars it would have been such a more productive evening for all of us.

That's just not right...

Apparently I spoke too soon when I said the days of seeing Sofia Vergara posing for magazines in a bikini were over. I figured we were only going to see that kind of sexiness from her when she went to the beach, but thanks to Shape magazine we now know better. I also may have spoken too soon when I asked if Halle Berry was the hottest mom on the planet. Cheese and rice, Sofia has some sick curves on her.

Anything associated with Sofia's got to be a happy occasion...

I know how much many of you like Sofia Vergara (hell, what’s not to like?) so I thought this photo shoot she did for the January issue of Ocean Drive magazine might be of interest to you. While the days of Sofia laying around in a bikini in photo shoots for lad magazines may be over (moment of silence) it’s still nice that she’s willing to drop a little classy, older lady sexiness on us in some photos now and then, don’t you agree?

Oh, so thaaat's why they lost...

As you know by now awards season began last night for Hollywood with the latest edition of the Golden Globes taking place. Some people won, many more people lost, but the one thing that never changes is that there were lots of sexy celebrity women all dressed up looking their best. Here’s just a few of them (in order below)… Carrie Underwood, January Jones, Jennifer Lawrence, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Julianne Hough, Kaley Cuoco, Lea Michele, Natalie Portman, Olivia Wilde, Christina Aguilera, Angelina Jolie, Julia Stiles, Piper Perabo, Jennifer Lopez, Scarlett Johansson, Amy Adams, Sofia Vergara, Christina Hendricks, Halle Berry, and Mila Kunis. Oh my. [Side notes from last night (neither pictured below): Michelle Pfeiffer - still alive, Milla Jovovich - gi-GAN-tic head. That is all.]

Even more pics from the Golden Globes here.

Now how can I look like I am exercising without actually doing anything?

Don’t get me wrong, I love Sofia Vergara and I especially love Sofia Vergara in Spandex pants, but what the hell kind of exercise is this? I know that in order for Sofia to look as hot as she does she has to have some great genes but c’mon, if you’re going to pretend to exercise at least give us something a little better than this.

CLASSY...

Celebrity gossip items you may have missed this week…

>>> Karissa Shannon apparently has another, different sex tape floating around. I wonder if that’s the tape that she claims Spencer Pratt stole from her. Vivid Entertainment is waiting for Karissa’s approval to release the tape, which should happen in 3… 2… 1…

>>> Playboy released some new nearly naked pictures of Kim Kardashian. And get this: She’s actually mad about it. WTF, indeed.

>>> Lindsay Lohan wants to have a baby. Don’t we have laws against that sort of thing?

>>> Britney Spears sexually harassed a man for a soda. A soda? Cheetos I could see, but a soda? Kevin Federline’s got her back though so it’s all good.

>>> Paris Hilton hid drugs in her vagina. That’s one surefire way to make sure she never, ever had to share them with anyone. I wonder if that was part of the “special treatment” she received while in jail?

>>> Playboy model Tiffany Livingston tried to open a plane door mid-flight. Yeah, I don’t know who she is either.

>>> Kirstie Alley’s house smells like a zoo. I know what you’re thinking, but it because she has 25 or so pets. Then again, maybe it is what you think.

>>> Minka Kelly flipped out on a plane over a dog and asked her beau Derek Jeter to speak with the pilot about it. I did not make that up.

>>> Vince Neil was accused of assaulting a woman in an elevator. Steven Tyler had no comment (think about it for a second).

>>> Floyd Mayweather is being sought in a potential domestic violence case. He is under suspicion for beating up the mother of his child.

>>> Kevin Spacey – not gay.

>>> Angelina Jolie – no friends.

>>> Lisa Marie Presley – drunk.

>>> And finally, Nicolas Cage’s pyramid tomb seems to be coming along well.

Today’s sexy video comes to us via Rolling Stone who took one of the hottest women on the planet, Sofia Vergara, and had her put on one hell of a smokeshow for the camera. You’re gonna need a cold shower after this one, folks.

Supposedly, Vegara has already done the deed and we all missed it. Right after Modern Family took home the Emmy for Outstanding Comedy, Vegara told reporters that she immediately took off for a remote part of Sunset, took her clothes off and ran nude for exactly no one to see.  This is what we call a real-life tragedy.

Backing up her story: Vergara’s Modern Family costar Julie Bowen. “When we went back to the press room, she had made a left turn and we all made a right turn,” Bowen tells PEOPLE. “So for about 20 minutes, she was missing.”

So, apparently we all missed it. In the land of a million cameras, Sofia Vegara and her unbelievable body went streaking down Sunset Boulevard and we all missed it. No people, no pictures, no actual confirmation other than her words.

When she returned, Bowen says Vergara replied that she “went to run nude down Sunset Boulevard. No one was there. So I did it. It’s over … ‘No one said I had to do it at a certain time.’

All men should look at the above picture and feel free to go cry in the corner now. Modern Family wins and we all lose.

Did Sofia Vergara Fulfill Emmy Pledge to Run Nude in Hollywood? [People]

As you know by now, The 2010 Emmy Awards took place last night. Some shows won, some lost, some people won, some lost, but more importantly it was a great excuse for a whole bunch of sexy celebrity ladies to put on their best attire and pose for photographs. Among those appearing at last night’s festivities were (in order below): Anna Paquin, Brooke Burke, Carrie Ann Inaba, Claire Danes, Emily Blunt, Emily Deschanel, Eva Longoria, Heidi Klum, January Jones, Jayma Mays, Jennifer Carpenter, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Julie Benz, Kim Kardashian, Lauren Graham, Lea Michele, Maria Menounos, Olivia Munn, Sofia Vergara, and Stephanie Pratt. Oh yeah, and Christina Hendricks (I hear you guys like her).

Esquire has done it again. They took one of the hottest women in the world, Sofia Vergara, put her in some skimpy outfits and took pictures. I wonder if they need any photography assistants. It says here that these photos will be in the September issue with a bonus poster! A poster you say? Now I am wondering how many of those I would need to wallpaper my bedroom. I’ll be back in a bit. Gotta go upstairs and take some measurements. [BONUS VIDEO BELOW]

My favorite Columbian model turned actress Sofia Vergara is on the cover and inside this month’s FHM Australia wearing pretty much just a bra in every photo. In other words, it’s one of the greatest photo shoots ever. I gotta tell you… if Sofia continues to do things like posing in her bra for magazines I might just have to watch that show she’s on. Eh, probably not… but she is welcome to keep trying to convince people like me with these photo shoots. I encourage it even.

The last time we saw Sofia Vergara she was in a bikini and it was fantastic. Today we also see Sofia Vergara in a bikini. Guess what? It’s pretty good again. Go figure. The last time we saw her in a bikini she was in Miami. Today she is in Porto Cervo. This concludes my report.

Sofia Vergara was in Miami the other day (perhaps for her birthday… Happy birthday, Sofia!) and being that she was in Miami she naturally shoved her ample attributes into a bikini for all to see. I am so glad Sofia got a job on American TV so we get to see so much more of her now. If only more TV shows would hire super hot foreign women to act on their shows. I just happen to have a list of suggested women if any producers out there need some assistance. Holla!

Have you ever seen one of Sofia Vergara’s many sexy photo shoots or watched her on her TV show Modern Family and thought to yourself, “I wonder what kind of guy gets to nail that on a regular basis?” I know I have. Maybe there’s something wrong with me. That being said, here’s your/my answer. What’s he got that I haven’t got? Sigh… Oh well, I hate to see you leave, Sofia, but I sure do love to watch you go.