Events reportedly happened Monday in the town of Duitama, in the central Colombian region of Boyaca. The two suspects who are cousins deceived their 18-year-old victim by pretending to offer her a job.

According to the daily El Tiempo, the 16-year-old suspect had been pregnant but lost the baby in a fall. With her cousin, she planned to steal someone else’s baby so that her boyfriend would not leave her.

One of the suspects reportedly made contact with the pregnant woman and asked her to go to a solitary cellar for a job interview. When she got there, the two attackers tied her up and performed a C-section, removing the seven-month-old foetus from her womb.

“Although proceedings were hardly orthodox, it is striking that the girls may have carried out that surgery without compromising organs other than the womb, particularly if we take into account that the patient was supposedly awake and fighting so that her baby would not be taken away,” doctor Ernesto Giraldo was quoted as saying.

One of the alleged attackers brought the baby home with her, but was found out when her family saw the child and forced her to take it to the hospital, where it was placed in an incubator.

I know a lot of horrific kidnapping-related crimes happen in South America, but you probably can’t beat “Teenage mom lured in by job interview kidnapped and forced to undergo a C-section by two teenage girls, one of whom lost their baby.” It’s like a made-for-TV Lifetime movie starring a girl who had one line as a cheerleader in “High School Musical 3.” Pretty poorly planned scheme though. Any time you can see your crime existing as a second-rate Barbie doll, you might want to go back to the drawing board.

Teens steal baby from mom’s womb [IOL.co.za]

Click for super hi-res photo with more ass than..some sort of…donkey…show

You can view some more asstastic photos here courtesy of the awesome Gotty at The Smoking Section.

Now I love America, really I do. Even though most of our citizens are fat douchebags, it’s a great place. But holy f’ing crap I want to be in this country instead. What are they doing in Panama to breed these monsters? Did some Panamian man impregnate a camel at some point, forcing many future generations of Panamian women to have asses like humps? I can’t wrap my head around this. Based off of my knowledge of South American culture primarily derived from delicious dinners at a Brazilian steakhouse, it must be the fact that every meal is served off of a sword. Further research may be required so if you see me inserting a beaker into a nearby South American woman’s ass, let’s just assume there’s an actual purpose behind it this time.

UPDATE: Our friends at InGameNow uncovered the unphotoshopped version. Still nice, but not AS nice. A tear streams down my cheek. Picture’s after the jump.