In fairness, Yakubu Ayegbeni came back and scored on a penalty kick just a few minutes later. However, his miss was so outrageously bad that it will more than likely go down in the annals of World Cup lore as the biggest choke ever. The miss was also a microcosm of Nigeria’s tournament where they could only salvage 1 point in three games. One win would have gotten each Super Eagles player 10k. But earlier in the week, the Nigerian Football Federation upped the ante to 30k for the South Korean game.

Whether the monetary offer came in a strangely worded email remains to be seen.

But let’s all agree to set aside our differences and find a different use for the vuvuzela. Perhaps as a hat? This South Korean fan seems to think so.

Say what you will about their outlandish styles and perhaps slightly feminine ways, but you can’t deny the talent there. I haven’t heard singing quite as transcendent since Eddie Murphy recounted his tale of having a girl who insisted on perpetual partying. Plus this song really paints a picture for you of what you’re going to be doing. Their vocal range can only be accomplished by meeting a well-endowed gentleman and having him vigorously work you like a Fleshlight or a youth basketball team playing a full 48-minute game in which they repeatedly trample your testicles. Truly a testament to the curative powers of music.

[Buzzfeed]

That’s why, as an American, I’m wholly afraid of foreigners. Every minute I rest, eat a sandwich, or shamefully masturbate to a racy issue of Woman’s Day magazine, they’re out there studying and working hard. That’s why we as a country are lagging so far behind. Well, that and the inherent ability to do math. That’s like being 6’1 and playing fourth graders in basketball. Or going to a high school slumber party with some wine coolers. I can attest to the success rate of at least 50% of those analogies.

[Reddit]

Oh if I had a dollar for every time I’ve accidentally stood atop a toilet to crap instead of sitting on it…well, I’d have no dollars as of right now, but I’d definitely start standing up on the toilet more often. Why waste a viable financial opportunity like that? Not sure who exactly would be so interested in my fecal habits to be wagering money on it, but if someone feels like investing, feel free.

What’s gross is that they have this same sign in South Korean cookbooks on how to make beef bulgogi. Even grosser: That probably wouldn’t stop me from eating it. I’d let anyone crap in my plate if it meant being that delicious.

[via]

A dogged South Korean grandmother has failed her driving test 771 times, police said Thursday, but a local newspaper reported she will keep trying.

The 68-year-old, identified only by her last name Cha, has taken the test almost every working day since 2005 in the southwestern city of Jeonju. She failed again Monday for the 771st time.

“It was a record-breaking number here,” Choi Yong-Cheol, a police sergeant supervising the test in the city’s Deokjingu district, told AFP.
“I wonder if she will try it again for a 772nd time.”
The Korea Times said Cha will in fact be back for another attempt.
Choi said that Cha cannot pass the preliminary written section of the test, averaging scores of 30-50 whereas the pass mark is 60 out of 100.

Local media said that Cha sells food and household items door to door at apartment complexes, carrying the items in a handcart, but wants to get a car for her business.

Police estimate she has spent almost five million won (3,600 dollars) to take the written test, with each test costing 6,000 won in addition to other expenses.

Whoa an Asian woman can’t drive? Holy crap stop the presses I’ve never heard of such a crazy news story. What next, a black guy becoming a star in the NBA or a white guy with a wispy moustache f’ing an underaged boy? Will wonders never cease?!?!

Also did you know that people once believed that Asian women had a horizontal vagina? This really has nothing to do with the article but I’d really like to just throw that out there. No punchline just…yeah…horizontal vagina. Think about it.

[source]