Guyism » Stephen Colbert

VIDEO: Jon Stewart chimes in on the Supreme Court’s ruling on violent games

Matt Hawkins — Fri, 01 Jul 2011 18:15:38 +0000

Now it’s time for the host of the Daily Show, aka the source of many 18-34 year old’s news (for better or worse) to chime in on this week’s biggest headline. For those of you without cable…

Well, it’s mostly about judges hating on other judges, but at the very least we get to hear a television studio audience’s reaction to Mortal Kombat fatalities. lol, noobs. BTW, here’s their report on the case as it first entered the courts, a few months ago…

Bonus clip, a somewhat more recent clip from The Colbert Report in which one of the topics addressed is Madden…

VIDEO: Stephen Colbert goes out of character to meet John Kerry in 2007

Chris Spags — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 22:00:26 +0000

The Internet’s collective nipples perked up when this video of Stephen Colbert out of character talking to Senator John Kerry in 2007 appeared online today. In the clip taken by a staffer for Talking Points Memo, Colbert explains what to expect to Sen. Kerry and provides a good bit of insight into Mr. Colbert’s character.

Another fun fact that some might not be aware of: Colbert also takes a Q&A before every episode entirely out of character. He’s equally as interesting and entertaining there, so make sure to try to work that in the next time you’re in New York City.

At the same time, part of me is disappointed he didn’t ham it up for the camera and hit John Kerry with a chair. That’ll show 2007 Kerry to associate with John Edwards who, in the future, proves to be way more of a scumbag than even the wackiest Colbert joke would have indicated.

50 guys we wish we were in 2010

David "Rek" Lee — Mon, 03 Jan 2011 17:00:48 +0000

Sometimes the best way to remember a year is through the people who kept things interesting. Guys who showed heart in your favorite sport, wrote your favorite song, or created that Web site that won’t let you get any work done. So here is the Guyism 50, the list of guys who shaped our 2010 for better or for worse.

50 Justin Halpern
There are many different kinds of Twitter users. There are those who talk out loud to themselves about what they’re doing (eating a burrito, doing laundry, reading a book), there are those who share information (unemployment is at a record 10%, Lindsay Lohan is back on drugs, The new TRON movie sucks) and then there is Justin Halpern who shares all the shit his dad says and lands himself a book & TV show deal.

49 Steve Shubin
Don’t recognize the name? Sure. But if you spend time trolling any kind of porn Web site (yep, that covers all of you), you’re sure to recognize his product: the Fleshlight. For those who don’t know, it’s basically a hollowed out flashlight with a skin-like interior for those lonelier nights. Steve’s male sex toy was always an innovation but he really outdid himself this year when he unveiled the Avatar edition. You may never party with the Na’vi but with Fleshlight, you can feel like you’re humping the Unobtanium out of one. Yes, that really just happened.

48 Rob Pattinson/Taylor Lautner
Yes, the Twilight craze took over the lives of our women for the last three years, and as a result, we couldn’t help but feign interest and wait it out like we did with Titanic and Nsync years ago. So what do you do when they announce two more sequels for 2011 and 2012? You honor them on a Web site, show your girlfriend and hope for vampire/werewolf sloppy seconds (See babe? I’m down).

47 Dangermouse
The elusive producer behind some of indie music’s biggest acts (Gnarls Barkley, Gorillaz) recently added two more acts to the list in ’10. He collaborated with The Shins’ lead singer, James Mercer, for the collaborative band Broken Bells and he lent a big hand to The Black Keys’ by producing their hit single “Tighten Up”. Critics have lauded both efforts and it seems he’s perfected that Indie rock sound. The stakes are raised with his next project as he is already moving forward with a new album for legendary rock band U2.

46 Adam Richman
Adam will have a spot on lists like this every year until Man vs. Food gets canceled. On season three, he conquered five-pound strombolis in Montana and seven pounds of seafood in New York. The best part about Adam is that he’s not a “real” competitive eater, just a regular guy with a lot of heart. We just hope it doesn’t explode on him.

45 Dwyane Wade
Sports fan or not, there was no way to escape the f*ckery that was “The Decision”. Even Barack Obama was in LeBron’s ear about where he should go. Judging by the way things panned out, it seems Dwyane Wade had more say in the matter then our president. Not only that, he convinced Bosh to get down early on, assembling a nice little trifecta worthy of the coveted title ring.

44 Andrew Lincoln
Following the success of Mad Men and Breaking Bad, AMC introduced a new kind of drama to their lineup. Based on the comic of the same name, The Walking Dead is another zombie apocalypse series. But thanks to lead man Andrew Lincoln, it’s done surprisingly well. He plays Rick Grimes, a sheriff’s deputy who wakes up to find his neighborhood decimated by the living dead. Later we get to know him dually as moral and quick to administer a righteous ass beating. Now if only Andrea would stop crying about her sister for one second, Lincoln could have carried Walking Dead to a flawless first season. Note to writers: feed her to zombies, thanks.

43 Far East Movement (Kev Nish, Prohgress, J-Splif, and DJ Virman)
For a long time, Asians have been associated with the very much made-up song, “Ring a Ching Chong Chin”. This year, California-based hip-hop group changed all that by becoming the first Asian Americans to chart a mainstream top 10 with the single “Like a G6”. Not only did they move units, they also killed live shows sharing stages with the likes of Jay-z, LMFAO and Lady Gaga. Lastly, as a byproduct of their success, the stereotype ‘all Chinese people look alike’ finally worked in the favor of Asian men everywhere. I personally distributed some dick off the strength of identity theft. Cheers fellas.

42 Chris Colfer
Chris Colfer is one talented dude. Before his breakout role on Fox’s Glee, he had no professional acting experience. After his audition, the show’s producer created the role of Kurt Hummel just for him. Aside from nailing songs, the openly gay actor is an inspiration to teens being bullied for their sexual orientation as he was once in the same position. Next year, he stars in a film he wrote called Struck by Lightning.

41 Antoine Dodson
If you could sum up the year in Internet comedy, it would be “hide ya wife, hide ya kids”. “The Bedroom Intruder” was the most popular Youtube clip after Justin Bieber, and the angry brother went on to do national television, create his own Halloween costume, make enough profit off the auto-tune remix to buy a house, and get his hair done (you had to have noticed how progressively silky his hair got with every television appearance).

40 Jason Schwartzman
Last year, Indie-movie mainstay Jason Schwartzman brought his brand of dry humor to HBO’s Bored to Death. The saga continued with season two, as his character, novelist and Craigslist detective, Jonathan Ames sought out clues for clients and redemption from nobody’s really sure what. We can identify with it though, as we’ve all basked in the darkness of that indescribable feeling we get after consuming too many Doritos, Mountain Dew and Call of Duty.

39 Rick Ross
Parole officer slash rapper Rick Ross thinks he’s a drug dealer. He also made it clear on his single “BMF” that he’s leader of the Black Mafia Family (“I think I’m Big Meech”). Oh yeah, there’s also that song “MC Hammer” isn’t there? Delusions aside, his album Teflon Don contained some of the greatest club anthems this year. He’s also the biggest advocate for man boobs as fashion statement.

38 Zach Galifinakis
Oh Zach, you wonderfully-embittered-comedian-who-finally-made-it, everybody is saying you played yourself this year (literally) over and over again. Still, it’s been a long time coming so your success is much deserved. But if you don’t hire an agent with more selective taste and you fail to wow us in The Hangover 2, we’re turning our backs and shaving the tribute beards off our faces.

37 Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino
Hate him or love him, Mike made a lot of power moves this year. After wrapping up another season of fist pumping and lifting his shirt on Jersey Shore, he booked nightclubs, got endorsement money (work out DVD, vitamin line for GNC, Devotion vodka, and Reebok), and competed on Dancing with the Stars. The other cast members received a few things here and there (mostly STD’s), but nobody pimped their situation like The Situation pimped his situation.

36 Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s acting career has matured nicely. He’s done family films like Angels in the Outfield as a kid, the sitcom 3rd Rock From the Sun as a teen, a whole slew of obscure indie films as an older teen, and finally he’s starring in the major blockbusters with the big boys. Inception was Christopher Nolan and Leonardo DiCaprio’s movie but all that anti-gravity stuff he pulled in the elevator scene made him the fan favorite here.

35 Han Han
China’s Han Han is a renaissance man in every sense of the word. He’s a novelist who’s responsible for China’s best selling literary work in the last two decades. He’s a self-produced singer/song-writer. He’s a blogger that commands the largest following in China and quite possibly the world. He’s a publisher that put together the immensely popular Party, a magazine composed of submissions he acquired through an open call on his blog. Lastly, he’s a professional rally driver. He must have heard our Army’s ‘be all you can be’ slogan somewhere and really took it to heart.

34 Adrien Grenier
In season seven, the ‘star’ in bromance-drama Entourage finally lived the Hollywood life we’ve all dreamed about; coke parties, porn star sex, and street brawls with Eminem. When the show’s producers announced the next season would be the last. Grenier swung into action with timely independent film he wrote and directed about paparazzi. Looks like our boy will be sticking around long after they wrap up the show that put him on the map.

33 Isaiah Mustafa
World stages and battlefields are typically where legends are born. But in 2010, the ‘Old Spice guy’ was introduced to the world from a bathroom, then a boat, and finally on horseback. Although he belittled us with his chiseled abs and a brilliant mustache, we couldn’t help wondering if we would feel enraged or slightly honored if our girlfriends actually did hook up with him.

32 Danny McBride
This year, Danny McBride reprised his role as Kenny Powers, the foul-mouthed all-American baseball player he was born to play. In season two of Eastbound and Down, he goes where every man goes to find the answers to life’s problems, Mexico. There, he rediscovers meaning through a fateful encounter with his dad and a fork in the road that shakes him to the core: am I a breast-man or an ass-man? It’s all very philosophical, really.

31 Michael Vick
Three years ago, the former Falcons star quarterback came under fire for animal cruelty. More specifically, dog fighting. He was suspended from the league, lost all of his endorsements, filed for bankruptcy and his team turned its back on him. Nobody could say for sure what the future held except PETA who collectively threw their heads back in an evil witch cackle. They laughed too soon. The Philadelphia Eagles picked up Vick, and in 2010, he played like his life depended on it, looking to carry his team on his back through a deep playoff run.

30 “Joe” of BrosIcingBros.com
If you were a victim of a campus or office Icing, blame ‘Joe’ (full name never released). He certainly didn’t invent the prank war that forces bros to chug a bottle of Smirnoff Ice on bended knee, but he was instrumental in popularizing it. The anonymous site manager created a Web site with user-submitted photos of ‘icings’, particularly the ones done in a creative way. As of now, he’s taken the site down and for the most part, the trend has died. But like the Web site says, “We had a good run bros”.

29 Ty Burrell
If you want to see what dads are like in 2010, look no further than Ty Burrell’s Phil Dunphy on Modern Family. He’s tech savvy, knowledgeable about pop culture, and makes sure to completely defeat his son in basketball, every time.

28 Cee Lo Green
Soul-singer and rapper-extraordinaire must have some feline in his bloodline. Every couple of years, his music sees a revival like none other. This year, he took a big risk and put out a song that should not have seen any light on the charts (titled “F*ck You”); and it paid off. The song has received five Grammy nods and has been covered by William Shatner and Gwyneth Paltrow on Glee. It might be his constant risk-taking, not any cat DNA, that’s keeping him relevant.

27 Dennis Crowley
The co-founder of Foursquare is a true visionary. I mean, who could have suspected people like bragging out loud about where they are and whom they’re with? Okay, so it’s not such a brilliant idea, but he and his partner Alex Rainert thought of it first. One downside of the social networking service: being mayor of Flashdancers doesn’t necessarily mean you get unlimited lap dances.

26 Russell Brand
The UK comedian proved his versatility this year by exploring just about every comic medium. He reprised his role as Aldous Snow in the comedy flick Get Him to the Greek, explored animation as Dr. Nefario in Despicable Me, and released a second book called Booky Wook 2: This Time It’s Personal. Oh, he also did one other thing this year, the busty pop star Katy Perry, as he took her off the market for good in October. Our feelings in his native tongue: Bollocks!

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Stephen Colbert hilariously testified in a House hearing this morning

Shawn Norris — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 16:29:33 +0000

Stephen Colbert went to Washington today, probably partially to help plan his “March to Keep Fear Alive” rally, but mostly to testify (in character) before a US House subcommittee about his time picking vegetables for the “Take Our Jobs” program. He did not disappoint.

The “Take Our Jobs” campaign was setup by the United Farmers Union to try and help motivate Americans to fill agricultural jobs and positions that would otherwise go to undocumented and possibly illegal immigrants. Part of the discussion within the committee is to possibly find a way to help some of these undocumented workers a way to become American citizens and apparently that was part of the reason the talk show host was invited to the hearing. He spent a 10-hour shift working on a New York farm this summer and was at the hearing to share his thoughts on the experience.

“I don’t want a tomato picked by a Mexican,” he said. “I want it picked by an American. And sliced by a Guatemalan and served by a Venezuelan, in a spa, where a Chilean gives me a Brazilian.”

Mr. Colbert seems all for the campaign, but he isn’t planning on leaving his cushy desk job anytime soon.

After his day on a farm, Colbert says, “I don’t even want to watch Green Acres again.”

The funny part is that House Judiciary Committee Chairman John Conyers tried to have the comedian thrown out of the hearings, but Colbert talked his way out of it and stayed for the hearing.

“I certainly hope that my star power can bump this hearing all the way up to C-SPAN 1.”

This man never ceases to amaze me. He’s a genius in and out of character and his power is becoming somewhat unprecedented amongst comedians. Not many people get to ride roughshod over folks in the government like this, but the brilliance is that he always delivers the goods and sticks it to anyone he doesn’t agree with.

Stephen Colbert Packs House, Is Asked to Leave [CBS News]

Comedy Central signs Colbert and Stewart through next election

Shawn Norris — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 18:44:21 +0000

Comedy Central announced today that they had signed contract extensions with their late-night duo of John Stewart and Stephen Colbert. Stewart signed an extension that keeps him at the helm of “The Daily Show” until June 2013, while Colbert will continue to be the dictator of the Colbert Nation until the late 2012. Both hosts will staying through (at least) one more presidential election; great news for both the fans and bottom-line of the popular cable channel.

While this isn’t shocking news, it will be interesting to see how Comedy Central’s Daily Show/Colbert Report fares against TBS and its newly formed duo of Conan O’Brien and George Lopez, who will be matched against them in the 11 PM time-slot starting this fall. It’ll be interesting to see how this scheduling dilemma affects cable television ratings, but it’s not as if these kings of comedy haven’t had to come to blows before.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c

Late Night Tangle

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show Full Episodes

Political Humor

Tea Party

Finally. A cable show rivalry that will actually be enjoyable to watch over the next few years.

Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert to Stay on Comedy Central Through 2012 Election [New York Times]

Stephen Colbert got his hurr did

Chris Spags — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 19:05:56 +0000

Stephen Colbert is in Iraq this week and he did something pretty cool in shaving his head to support the troops.

That’s a pretty awesome thing to do. But you know what’d make it less awesome? If he had lice. I mean sure, the sentiment would still be there, but who knows where his motivation lies?

Since I also have many readers in the Armed Forces, I’d also like to say I love you all but will not shave my head for you. I will however, shave my left testicle. If you’d like some of the shavings sent your way with an autographed headshot, please let me know. My gift to you.

Stephen Colbert and RNC head Michael Steele's rap off

Chris Spags — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 15:22:37 +0000

I accidentally kept spelling the headline for this as “Rape Off,” which would have also been awesome but slightly more awkward to watch. The set-up is that Stephen Colbert challenged Michael Steele to a freestyle rap-off, Steele agreed and then…nothing. I expect more street cred from my Republican National Committee chairs.

I think it’s a great idea for the RNC to shift up their image, so it’s kind of a bummer that Steele won’t actually follow through on his agreement to go on the show and compete. I’m tired of seeing generic white guys always being the powerful Republican. It’s so cliche. So unless we’ve got a fload of black paint and a wealth of time and willing participants, we need to get some actual black people in there. I’m thinking 50 Cent would be a good new spokesman for the RNC. He’s got more money than 90% of them, I’m sure he hates the ridiculous amount of taxes government takes from the wealthy, and he’s been shot nine times. I don’t know about you, but if he were to tell me that the TARP plan was full of pork, I’d be like, “Yes sir!” and just hope he doesn’t rape me. Which is pretty much how every interaction I have with black people goes. Which makes my interviews with the New York Knicks often less substantive than I’d like.

[via]

The Cookie Monster was on Stephen Colbert

Chris Spags — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 16:21:47 +0000

So I just caught up with Thursday’s episode of The Colbert Report and holy crap am I sad I didn’t get to this sooner. Colbert discussed the recent study that showed that fruit had usurped cookies as the #1 snack for kids. And then accused the Cookie Monster of pushing a pro-fruit agenda. So imagine his surprise when the Cookie Monster made a guest appearance to rebut!

Nothing I say here would possibly be funnier so yeah…fruit is for fags.