There, there Tim. Jesus still loves you. Probably.

Last weekend, Tim Tebow’s Super Bowl dreams went up in smoke (or was that just a cold breeze coming off Tom Brady’s throwing arm?) when the Patriots pummeled the Broncos in the playoffs. The team’s loss didn’t break my heart – the Packers game the next day took on that task for this Wisconsin-born girl – but there is one thing about the Florida quarterback’s inaugural NFL season I will miss.

Tebowing.

The act of Tebowing, wherein people bow on one knee in weird places in imitation of the God-fearing QB’s prayerful posture, always made me laugh. This year, sports fans of all stripes could be found Tebowing everywhere from Mt. Rushmore to the Great Wall of China.

It got me thinking what other male celebrities’ signature moves guys could adopt. I came up with a few, after the jump. Add your own in the comments:

Rogersing: The act of immediately changing into comfortable shoes and a sweater upon arriving home. Mr. Rogers perfected this move in his beloved PBS children’s show. Personally, I’ve been Rogersing for awhile now. I add sweatpants to the mix as well, but feel free to make it your own

Bonding: Suiting up at every opportunity. No matter where M sent him, 007 was never far from a pressed shirt and gadget-concealing evening wear. Best executed with a classic one-button tuxedo with peak lapels and bow tie. Martini as accessory optional (but encouraged).

Pitting: Growing your hair out just long enough to look dashing and rakish, but styled enough that you don’t get mistaken for a dashing, rakish hobo. Mr. Angelina Jolie carries off the look with aplomb on this month’s cover of W Magazine.

Jobsing: Wearing the same outfit day in day in and day out to free up your concentration on other matters. Apple’s co-founder Steve Jobs adopted his black turtleneck and light jeans uniform so he had time to think up life-changing deviced like the Macintosh, iPod, iPhone, iPad…just think about what you could create with the extra time in your day!

 
Dinklaging: Being totally cool with your height, however tall or short that is. Peter Dinklage, who won Best Supporting Actor at this Sunday’s Golden Globes for his role in HBO’s Game of Thrones exemplifies this attitude of total self-acceptance (note: this move is the opposite of Cruising, named for notorious heel-wearing, height-denying Tom Cruise).

Halloween is just a few short days away, so if you don’t have a costume, it’s about time you got on top of it. Last year we brought you tasteless costume ideas for 2010. Well, a lot of shit has gone down since then, so here’s a new batch of topical costumes that you can consider sporting this year.

10 Casey “Party Girl” Anthony
This is probably going to be one of the more popular costumes around this year for girls. It allows girls to dress slutty without people questioning exactly why they’re dressed slutty… plus if you’re like Casey, your Halloween night will end with you getting off. Make sure to leave your kid at home that night though because you want it to be authentic.

9 Chris “Meltdown” Brown
This is the perfect costume for that guy you know who loves to get into fights whenever he goes out drinking. All he has to do is bleach his hair, tear off his shirt for no real reason, and throw a bunch of tantrums throughout the night. Backhanding his girlfriend is optional.

8 Courtney Stodden
Ladies, you love to dress up skanky on Halloween. So why not dress up like the ultimate skank? Put on the tightest fitting dress you can find and spend about three days before injecting collagen into your lips. The drunker you get on Halloween, the better… since incoherence seems to be Courtney’s specialty. Remember to only flirt with men who are at least 35 years older than you.

7 Charlie Sheen
It’s true that the Charlie Sheen wow factor has fizzled out quite a bit, but this is Halloween! Dressing up as Sheen will allow you to snort a bunch of cocaine and get ridiculously drunk… which probably isn’t too different than most Halloweens, but it beats having to do it dressed as Gumby.

6 Marcus “In the Closet” Bachmann
The Sarah Palin costume is played out. If you really want to go with a political theme, have your girlfriend dress up as Michelle Bachmann so you can go as her husband, Marcus. Just make sure you build a portable closet around you since that guy is clearly always in one.

5 Christina “The Pudge” Aguilera
Fat girls, now’s the time to dress up like your favorite pop star and not have people give you a hard time for it! Thanks to Aguilera’s recent diet of Big Macs and Slurpees, people will actually believe you when you dress up as her this year.

4 Anthony Weiner’s Weiner
Chances are, people tell you you’re a dick anyway. Why not go as one of the most popular dicks of 2011?! … next to Mel Gibson, of course. You can pretty much wear some boxer briefs over your head to officially become the infamous “bulge”. Toss on a politician-style suit and you’re good to go.

3 Chaz Bono – A Couple Costume
This is the perfect couples costume for 2011. Ditch the cheesy, overdone Plug and Socket idea and instead hit your Halloween party as everyone’s favorite transgender contestant from Dancing With The Stars … before and after the surgery. For a little added fun, the guy should dress as pre-op “Chastity” and the girl can dress as post-op “Chaz”.

2 Jay-Z/Beyonce Fetus
This costume will certainly scare the hell out of Will and Jada’s kids. The Jay-Z/Beyonce fetus is moving in on their territory. Get yourself a flesh colored spandex suit, toss on a blonde lion’s mane and a tilted Yankees cap, and voila! You’re a fetus mogul in the making. For added effect, build yourself an umbilical cord and walk away saying “Uh huh, uh huh” way too much.

1 Zombies!
Zombies are in every year. This Halloween, however, there were a lot of major deaths that made headlines…giving you an assortment of zombie options:

1a. Osama bin Laden
This is going to be a very popular costume this year. If you want to attempt to one up everyone else, see if you can get six of your friends to dress up as seals with guns… as in SEAL Team Six… get it?!… never mind.

1b. Muammar Gadafhi
Dress up as everyone’s favorite fashionista dictator. If you’re the kind of zombie that likes to wear sunglasses and dress ridiculously, then this is the choice for you.

1c. Steve Jobs
It’s up to you to decide if this one is “too soon” or not. But a pair of jeans, a black turtleneck, an iPod, and some serious zombie make-up are all you really need to get Jobs alive and kicking again.

1d. Lindsay Lohan
Okay, she didn’t actually die this year (shocking, I know)… but have you seen her lately?! She looks like one of those moaning extras straight out of an episode of The Walking Dead. Start your meth binge now, so your body will be in perfect condition by Halloween. Or… if you want, you can always just go as Lohan’s career, since it’s been dead for years.

“This year’s list is a true reflection of the times we live in, with technology being at the forefront, and visionaries like Steve Jobs inspiring our readers all over the world,” commented James Bassil, Editor in Chief, AskMen. “Jobs held steady in the number one position for the last four weeks during our polling, which really pays tribute to his legacy.”

This might be the one year in which picking #1 was truly a no-brainer.

The top 10…
1. Steve Jobs
2. SEAL Team Six
3. Larry Page
4. Warren Buffet
5. Kanye West
6. Mohamed Bouazizi
7. Prince William
8. Anonymous
9. Ryan Gosling
10. Lionel Messi

Other notables on the list include: Jon Stewart (12), George Clooney (14 – the only man to be on the list for all six years), Jay-Z (15), Piers Morgan (20), Barack Obama (21), Anderson Cooper (24), Mark Zuckerberg (27), Louis C.K. (31), Tom Brady (42), Justin Timberlake (47), and Simon Cowell (49). View the complete list here.

As pretty much everyone knows by know, the man who created Apple Computer, the Macintosh, the iPod, the iPhone, and the iPad, plus everything in-between, is no longer with us. He leaves behind a legacy that will be unmatched for quite some time, perhaps never. After all, he revolutionized how we interact with technology, but he also redefined the very face of entertainment on every single level. Including literature, photography, music, film, the internet…

But video games? Not so much. Actually, Apple is now a force to be reckoned with on the gaming front as well. Still, it’s a relatively new thing, and something that’s entirely due to iOS. Otherwise, for the most part, when it comes to gaming, Apple users have long been second-class citizens.

And when you don’t factor the iPhone/iPod Touch/iPad at all, that’s still somewhat the case. Again, things have certainly gotten better on that end… Steam showing up on OS X was a HUGE moral booster… it wasn’t until the iPhone came along and changed things up drastically.

It was the catalyst that Jobs had long been seeking, and those efforts quite some time ago. Knowing full well how deficient the Mac was in that category, when he was brought back on board in the mid/late 90s (the dude had been fired from his own company in the mid 80s, which in turn led to Apple going almost extinct), it was a priority to make a mark in the lucrative PC gaming market.

This meant embracing open, cross-platform technologies and attracting top tier talent. Like Bungie, which has been able to carve a name for itself, especially among the modest number of Mac users that played game on that platform. So to help sell the new G4 desktop, Jobs thought it would be a good idea to wow potential customers, as well as other game developers, with the following demo in 1999…

… While quite rough and tumble, it’s largely the same game that would end up on the Xbox 1 2 years later. So what happened there exactly? Well, development costs for the game was so high that Bungie found itself in financial dire straights. They had no other choice but to put themselves on the auction block. And since Microsoft was desperate for content, cuz they were putting together a brand new console, that Halo game looked as if it was a possible contender. And obviously, the rest is history.

Though the question remains: why didn’t Apple help Bungie out? After-all, the reaction that Halo got at Macworld was super positive. Did they go to Apple for help to being with? If so, did Apple not care? Or did MS simply offer more money? The true details may never be known. But thank God it worked out as it did, so it’s a safe bet that Halo‘s eventual success, and all the innovations that followed suit, might have dwarfed in comparison to the original game, if it had remained on the G4.

Much like Apple’s inventions, like the iPhone, it’s easy to forget how groundbreaking Halo was, and helped to set the pace that pretty much everyone in the game industry followed. In the end, it was able to sell a $299 console fairly handily. Not sure how it would have done with a computer that cost $2,499. But like I said, Apple ultimately has the last laugh; at their iPhone 4S press conference, they made mention of how the iPod Touch is technically the most popular gaming device in the world.

BTW, anyone interested in brushing up on their Halo history further, I’d recommend the follow behind the scenes that Bungie themselves created..

From the Apple Web site…

Apple has lost a visionary and creative genius, and the world has lost an amazing human being. Those of us who have been fortunate enough to know and work with Steve have lost a dear friend and an inspiring mentor. Steve leaves behind a company that only he could have built, and his spirit will forever be the foundation of Apple.

On August 24, 2011, Jobs announced he was stepping down as Apple CEO. Under Jobs’ leadership, Apple sold what was then called the first personal computer, the Apple II, but it was the iPhone, iPad, iPod, iMac and iTunes that turned the company into a global powerhouse with him at the helm of the company.

Hustler insist they have a Rihanna & J-Cole sex tape
“We have seen it and we do not know what we are going to do with it yet.”

Kris Humphries’ family “looked appalled” at Kim Kardashian wedding
“Everybody felt awkward, like it was all for the cameras and more like a TV show than a wedding.”

Steve Jobs resigns as CEO of Apple
“I have always said if there ever came a day when I could no longer meet my duties and expectations as Apple’s CEO, I would be the first to let you know.”

Jim Carrey: I want to have “freckle-faced” kids with Emma Stone
“When Carrey references the ‘sex’ he hopes to have with The Help star, he momentarily loses his train of thought.”

Suite Life star Brenda Song pregnant — by Miley’s brother
“They are beyond thrilled. [She is] about eight weeks along.”

Jerry Bruckheimer and The Rock producing ’80s wrestling drama For NBC
“There’s no word on the direction the series would take, but, it doesn’t take a genius to figure it out.”

The X Factor’s Simon Cowell gets weekly vitamin IV drip
“When you have it done, it’s an incredibly warm feeling.”

Report that Will Smith walked in on Jada Pinkett Smith and Marc Anthony
“…sources close to the couple insist they have not separated, but there are significant problems in their marriage.”

Christopher Knight files for a very Brady divorce
“…Christopher Knight has finally filed for a divorce from his reality star wife Adrianne Curry…”

Report: Paris Hilton’s reality TV show cancelled
“Hilton’s show on Oxygen earned barely 400,000 viewers for its June debut and sunk even lower in subsequent airings.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Behind the scenes of former Miss Australia Erin McNaught’s sexy photo shoot for Zu.

I mean, FINALLY, right??? Because, really, who hasn’t forgotten to sleep the last few weeks hoping they would do this?

“The white iPhone 4 has finally arrived and it’s beautiful,” said Philip Schiller, Apple’s senior vice president of Worldwide Product Marketing. “We appreciate everyone who has waited patiently while we’ve worked to get every detail right.”

Like, you know, changing the color of the shell. (Also, doesn’t Schiller kind of sound like Teri Hatcher on Seinfeld there? “It’s finally arrived … and it’s beautiful.“)

For those that care, you can purchase the white iPhone at either Apple’s website, Verizon stores or AT&T stores.

But, if you’ll permit me to rant for a minute (and you will, muhaha), please don’t buy this thing. Why? It’s just an iPhone, except it’s white.

The reason why the “white iPhone” has always been whispered about fondly by Apple junkies like it’s some sort of Holy Grail is that it wasn’t for sale. You couldn’t have one, so everyone wanted one.

Now, everyone can have one. And it’s not like this version of the iPhone downloads movies faster or actually has good service or will have a battery that actually lasts. (Yes, I’m currently upset with my phone, why do you ask?)

IT’S JUST AN IPHONE.

And now it’s an iPhone that everyone and their brother will be able to get, which means that if you’re not currently eligible for an upgrade and you go out and buy one of these — instead of just buying a white iPhone case — you are a total douchebag. And should probably be mocked on South Park.

On March 11, the Apple iPad 2 will go on sale, just nine scant days after it was announced by Steve Jobs during an Apple presentation at the Apple compound in Cupertino, California.

This was normal only in that Jobs and his many dark-shirted minions made a huge deal out of the product announcement. Otherwise, it goes against everything Apple’s done to become a juggernaut, and it’s further proof that Apple’s turning into a tech version of the Worldwide Leader.

Now, the iPad 2 makes sense from a business perspective on several fronts. Namely because the first iPad sucks and the tablet market is begging for someone to saturate it with a different product.

Look, I’ve attempted to defend my iPad for a number of reasons, but the truth is I love my it because I can take it to the gym and watch “Friday Night Lights” while running on a treadmill. (Even though this makes me a tremendous d-bag on many different levels, I do thoroughly enjoy it.) Also, I can access the Food Network recipe list and use it in the kitchen.

However, those are terrible reasons to spend ~$500 on a very small and thin computer. Or, if you prefer, “slightly bigger iPhone.”

But everyone is coming out with a tablet computer these days. Apple, Samsung, Google, Folgers, Motorola — you name ‘em, they’ve got a tablet. So yeah, Apple needed to go ahead and get an extra couple million iPads out there before their competitors filled up the hands of the consumers.

But at what cost to their brand?

Because in the long-term, that’s what matters. Not just for the investors and employees, but for the consumer.

The notion of “ESPN-ification” isn’t about becoming a journalistic monolith that ends up covering itself. It’s about a refusal to recognize that even if you are the proverbial 800-pound gorilla, you’re not guaranteed to sell products forever simply by stomping all over people.

And ultimately, not making decisions without considering whether or not they will reflect poorly on a company’s brand in the long-term, even though the company might be too big to — for now — even warrant a laugh at the consequences.

ESPN does this on a number of levels. They take obstinate public relations stances regardless of irrefutable evidence (We’re “confident” Lee Corso and Kirk Herbstreit won’t be biased towards Oregon even though they’re getting secret shoe deals from Nike).

They provide products that people end up consuming even though they don’t want to (ESPN the Magazine — my house gets two copies and reads zero each month; or perhaps you prefer Chris Berman as an example?).

And even though they invite a pile of fans down to”ESPN the Weekend” at the mothership’s little kingdom, Disneyworld, the bottom line is still what’s in mind.

And Apple does the same thing.

I’m not saying that Gizmodo is going to start firing out posts about not-so-sexy parties going down at Infinite Loop in Cupertino (a la Deadspin and Bristol). But I do think that Apple’s busted out some hastily-made decisions recently, and were it not for the fact that they have both an incredible Q-rating and PR team, they might have a little egg on their face.

Witness the iPad 2. Does the world need the iPad 2 out right now? Of course not. Would it be better to drop it right before Christmas? Of course it would.

But would Samsung and Motorola have time to get their product on the market and get people to buy their tablets and push some Apple products out of the hands of consumers? You best believe so.

Which means that Apple, in their infinite wisdom, is about to release a product that fills a void and not a need.

That’s when you know a company that makes billions a year has jumped the shark (it’s also a classic WWL-like move). Look, Apple is a business and they have to worry about their profit margins and whatnot.

But even though their stores might be filled with a too-cool-to-care attitude that annoys the tar out of most consumers, there’s very little question that the primary thing that makes Apple products so freaking awesome is theuser experience.

The iPhone is the best option on the market not because it has lots of lights and flashing gizmos and downloadable games — although those things help — but because it’s a well thought-out product with a minimalistic hipster design that makes it palatable for any range of consumer.

Feel free to make the same argument for the Macbook. And the iPod. And the iPad too. Most people will nod their heads in agreement, even though the ability of users to actually accomplish anything on there is a little more limited.

Hell, you can already make the argument for the iPad 2, because the company that makes it knows how to craft a easy and pleasurable experience for the most novice of user.

But here’s the problem: no company can expect, even from the most devoted consumer, people to keep shelling out $500 every 3-to-6 months, especially in the current economic climate.

And at some point, Apple has to wonder whether or not their bottom line is eternally attainable if they proceed with what would be called “boorish” behavior from nearly anyone else in the marketplace, were it not attached to an excitable CEO with a fantastic track record and a well-crafted introduction

Because the answer is it’s probably not. They’ll keep growing, just like ESPN. And they’ll keep coming up with innovative ideas. And they’ll keep making money (though whether the stock can stay above $350 a share remains to be seen, even with this new release forthcoming), certainly at least for now.

But what about the long term?

That’s the issue at stake here, especially since, for years, Mac junkies have hung on Jobs’ every word and willingly shilled out whatever dollar figure he requested for the company’s latest product. Why?

Because the products weren’t being made just for the sake of making them. And whatever line we’re talking here — iPhone, iPod, Macbook, whatever — typically had a pretty big set of improvements attached.

The iPad 2 certainly has a number of them as well, especially in the form of the cameras on the front and back and the fancy little cover that apparently operates like a fruit roll-up but without the funny comics.

But what is it doing on the market right now???

It’s not here for spring break, and unless there’s some weird tradition of buying tablet computers from the Easter bunny that I don’t know about, it’s hard to imagine why it makes sense to throw a product into the marketplace immediately when that goes against everything Apple’s ever done.

The move reeks of “gimmick,” in that it stirs up a pile of commotion and media coverage (check), it results in long lines at Apple stores for the newest product (check, even though, um, where is everyone getting all this money?) and it moves a bunch of product immediately (likely, check).

But it practically spits in the face of anyone who purchased an original iPad, which is the very freaking reason that Apple was able to produce the second iteration, and, again, it seems like a move made out of desperation to grab a hold of a wide-open market.

If it works — and there’s a decent likelihood that it will — then kudos to Apple and whatnot. They’ll have won again. But at some point, wielding corporate power in a way that goes against what made a company great to begin with will backfire, regardless of how much PR is out there.

That might not matter now, but in 2020, when everyone’s simply expected to purchase the Apple iCarVision 4 six hours after it’s announced to the public but has become too fed up with corporate shenanigans to invest hard-earned money in a product that’s just “there,” well it’ll be a problem then.

Bottom-lining it will always be No. 1 in a company’s eyes. That’s fine.

But growth and success comes from generating consumer trust. Not by releasing products just to release them.

Apple has applied for a patent on technology that could deactivate iPhones or other devices when it believes the device is being used illegitimately or by unauthorized users—and the devices could make these determinations both by how the device is being used, but also through biometric information like a user’s face, voice, and even their heartbeat.

Your face? The inflection of your voice? Your heartbeat? Apple wants to know what user have arrhythmia? Highly doubtful. I don’t feel like making a call on a polygraph machine, Mr. Jobs, so why don’t you just hire me a stenographer and I’ll GChat you? This seems like a technology that is meant to either meant to take advertising to a very intrusive new level or the government is now hiring Apple to be some sort of invasive new census taker.

In addition to potentially shutting down the device if unauthorized users are detected, the technology could also be used to wipe sensitive information—address books, email, passwords, account details, and those sensitive text messages—if it detects an unauthorized user.

OK, so it does have some benefits that could be security related, but unless you work at the Pentagon or are into some seriously shady business, it seems like some things in these new patents are overkill. I’m not judging Steve Jobs here — I believe the man is a genius. However, these patents could usher in a scary new phase in the way we all use smart phones.

Apple Applies for iPhone Killswitch Patent [Digital Trends]

Again, my Chinese is rusty but I think I can roughly translate the video.

“My name is Steve Jobs and I hate my customers. Americans that complain about your iPhone problems, please stand in this long line while I have a lightsaber battle with Bill Gates for supremacy of the Silicon Valley Empire. I’m going to steal your hat, Bill Gates. Now the cops are going to break down the doors of Gizmondo and I’m going to choke your thieving writers. I will not be paying for your door. Hey, it’s raining people again. You are stuck with AT&T for all of the times. You can count the number of bars on your phone with one hand? Not after I cut all your fingers off! Only Consumer Reports can stop me now. Nooooooooooo! Your phone doesn’t work, but I’m still the most powerful man in the universe. Suck it, Warren Buffett!”

Since 2007, AT&T has had the exclusive rights to the iPhone, and the results have been mixed at best. Many complained that AT&T’s network quality wasn’t spectacular, while Verizon customers complained that the popular phone wasn’t offered on their (supposedly) higher quality network.

The iPhone, which has been the sole domain of rival AT&T in the U.S. since June 2007, will give Verizon a boost in its competition for smartphone customers, UBS AG analyst John Hodulik said in an interview. Verizon customers, who numbered 92.8 million at the end of the first quarter, may buy 3 million iPhones a quarter, he estimates.

That seems a bit low. People are completely insane for this phone. It’s not just a phone anymore — it’s  a cultural phenomenon. The iTunes store sold over a billion Apps in only 9 months and now they’re potentially adding 100 million people to their customer base.

(NSFW language)

The newest version of the five hundred dollar bill is going to have Steve Jobs’ face on it. And you’re going to have to print them at the ITunes store–there’s an app for that.

Verizon Wireless Said to Start Offering IPhone in January [Bloomberg]

As a proud, heterosexual male (!) cat owner, I’d be lying if I didn’t think to myself, “Hmm, I bet my cat would enjoy this.” But then what if Iggy is just some prodigy and my cat was just going to stare at it or scratch the crap out of it, leaving me with a $500 cutting board? I’d feel like a real dick then, wouldn’t I? I’m onto your mind games, Jobs.

Even A Cat Can Play iPad Games [Kotaku]