Growing out that beard for the “I could be a Unibomber or I could be really fashion forward” look? Might want to stop now. According to a study in the Oxford Journals, women hate your beard.

The study, conducted by researchers Barnaby Dixson and Paul Vasey, involved ]]>

Growing out that beard for the “I could be a Unibomber or I could be really fashion forward” look? Might want to stop now. According to a study in the Oxford Journals, women hate your beard.

Really hoping someone out there appreciates the subtle entendre being weaved with picking this photo

The study, conducted by researchers Barnaby Dixson and Paul Vasey, involved showing European and Polynesian women photos of 19 men with beards and without beards.

The women responded en masse saying that they found the clean-shaved versions of the men much more attractive.

The women also said they found the men with beards to seem older, though they did think the men may have a higher social status due to their growth.

Men who viewed the pictures perceived their bearded compatriots to be both older and more aggressive.

Psychologist Nick Neave told the Daily Mail that his research led him to believe women prefer light stubble, saying, “It was almost as if women preferred a man who could grow a beard but hadn’t.”

Sure, this is all well and good and interesting. But what do these women think about neckbeards? They totally dig them and want to sip Mountain Dew with them all night, I presume.

Scientific Proof That Women Hate Beards [Gizmodo]

A new study from the University of Minnesota’s Carlson School of Management says that men spend more as a means of distinguishing themselves as potential mates when there are less women around. Let the money-as-genital-size discussion begin! The study looked at male behavior in situations with a ]]>

A new study from the University of Minnesota’s Carlson School of Management says that men spend more as a means of distinguishing themselves as potential mates when there are less women around. Let the money-as-genital-size discussion begin!

The study looked at male behavior in situations with a scarcity of women and an abundance of women by providing subjects with articles that said their region had more men or women.

The men’s theoretical finances reacted accordingly: Savings rates dropped 42 percent when men believed there were less women and the men were also willing to borrow 84 percent more monthly for their lifestyles.

According to researchers, the men were unaware of sex ratios having any affect on their behavior.

“Economics tells us that humans make decisions by carefully thinking through our choices; that we’re not like animals,” lead researcher Vladas Griskevicius said. “It turns out we have a lot in common with other animals. We see that there are more men than women in our environment and it automatically changes our desires, our behaviors, and our entire psychology.”

Don’t worry men, you’re not alone: The study also found that women behave differently when there are more men around. No, they don’t spend more…they expect more when they’re being courted.

So men use money to pretend they have some intrinsic social merits and women are money grubbing wenches in certain social situations? No way. Up is up! Black is black! Dogs and cats, living in mild intolerance!

A Scarcity of Women Leads Men to Spend More, Save Less [University of Minnesota via Business Insider]

Helen Mirren is an older gal and, obviously, it’s noteworthy that she’s maintained such good shape at the advanced age of 66 years old. But a new poll has her ranked above women like Kelly Brook…really? The poll, conducted by the LA Fitness health ]]>

Helen Mirren is an older gal and, obviously, it’s noteworthy that she’s maintained such good shape at the advanced age of 66 years old. But a new poll has her ranked above women like Kelly Brook…really?

The poll, conducted by the LA Fitness health clubs, surveyed 2,000 respondents on which woman had the best body. And the voters responded with 17.6% going to Mirren.

In second place was Elle MacPherson with 10% of the votes, another gal whose body has probably seen better days.

The full rankings:

Helen Mirren – 17.65%
Elle MacPherson -10.6%
Kelly Brook – 8.35%
Jennifer Lopez – 6.6%
Cheryl Cole – 5.35%
Myleene Klass – 4.2%
Holly Willoughby – 4.1%
Pippa Middleton – 4%
Kate Winslet – 3.9%

So what can we extrapolate from this data? With several older gals among the top five, I think we can safely say that the voters obviously are relating more to women with bodies they can aspire to. Or that they got confused and thought they were voting for the most likely candidates to take over the lead role in the Tales from the Crypt remake. It’s a toss up.

Check Out The 66-Year-Old Actress Who Was Just Voted ‘Body Of The Year’ [Business Insider]

A study released by the University of British Columbia runs contrary to every thing that has been said as advice to guys who have problems picking up girls. Their findings? Don’t smile. Women hate it. The study, which polled over 1,000 women, asked those women polled to rate men in ]]>

A study released by the University of British Columbia runs contrary to every thing that has been said as advice to guys who have problems picking up girls. Their findings? Don’t smile. Women hate it.

What woman could love this hideous monster???

When provided with several types of men, the ones they found least attractive were ones who were smiling in the photo. Even when compared to ones who looked sad or afraid.

The type of man found most attractive by the women polled? Men who looked strong and proud or, bizarrely, men with their hands raised in the air.

Men were the exact opposite in the study, finding women who smiled most attractive while women who looked strong and proud were the least attractive.

So, if you want to get a chick, my suggestion would be to puff out your chest, put on one of those t-shirts with fake muscles on it, and walk around like you’re the “Sure” guy in those old deodorant commercials. Women will flock to you like, uh, a bunch of illogical harpies who like guys who resemble the rape tree from “Evil Dead”. Still counts.

Why So Serious? Because Chicks Dig It! [Good via Gizmodo]

A new study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy says that overweight people, specifically the obese, are less likely to find themselves sexually satisfied. According to the study of 134 women and 91 men who were all moderately obese (a BMI of at least ]]>

A new study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy says that overweight people, specifically the obese, are less likely to find themselves sexually satisfied.

According to the study of 134 women and 91 men who were all moderately obese (a BMI of at least 30), overweight women are even less likely to be fulfilled than overweight men are.

Study author Truls Ostbye of Duke University said in the report, “Our findings contribute to a growing body [ED. NOTE: Lulz] of research that indicates obesity is associated with reduced sexual functioning and sexual quality of life,”

The study speculates that the reasons for the failings in sexual satisfaction have to do with both actual physical dysfunction and emotional problems stemming from obesity.

David Sarwer, director of clinical services at the Center for Weight and Eating Disorders at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine told USA Today, “People should realize sexuality is more than just intercourse. There’s a tremendous amount of emotional value and benefit that can still come from holding hands, kissing, hugging — romance.”

It’s certainly sad that people are suffering due to their physical problems. At the same time though, if you’re not even attempting to do anything about it, I don’t necessarily have as much sympathy. Though my thoughts may be heavily weighted (lol) by the fact that I just Googled terms related to obesity and sex to find an image for this post and, even with SafeSearch one, was bombarded by several horrific things that would better be saved for a terrorist training video or a Broadway play version of “Food, Inc.”

Obese people less sexually satisfied [USA Today]

Match.com took some time away from its sexual assault law suits to drill down on their data a bit and their findings are, well, incongruous. A new study released today says that women are split about caring how much you spend on a date. Sort of!

Match.com took some time away from its sexual assault law suits to drill down on their data a bit and their findings are, well, incongruous. A new study released today says that women are split about caring how much you spend on a date. Sort of!

The study was sent to us positioned as saying that 46% of women don’t care at all about how much men spend on a date with them. However, this means that 54% do care. So, yes, in a stunner, it turns out the majority of women are going to be pissed when you take them to Arby’s.

Half of the Match.com men surveyed regularly spend over $50 on a date. Women, on the other hand, are three times more likely to spend less than $25 on any given date.

The study also implies that you should make sure to watch your tip: a whopping 82% of single people said they’re more interested in their date when they tip generously.

The lone shocker of the study? The finding that 46% of women wouldn’t care if their date used a coupon on a date. Somewhere, Groupon’s CEO is cackling maniacally.

So, in summary, we really learned that 54% of women want to be taken to nice places, even when meeting random guy online, and 46% of women are liars. Oh, you studies. You say so much with so little.

The Real Cost of Dating in America: Don’t Bank on Assumptions [Match.com]

Restless Legs Syndrome is one of those seemingly made up illnesses that didn’t exist until some people had way too much time on their hands. But now that the illness, which coerces people to move their legs to avoid unpleasant sensations, has a prescription involving masturbation, it seems totally legit ]]>

Restless Legs Syndrome is one of those seemingly made up illnesses that didn’t exist until some people had way too much time on their hands. But now that the illness, which coerces people to move their legs to avoid unpleasant sensations, has a prescription involving masturbation, it seems totally legit to me.

According to a study released to the medical journal “Sleep Medicine” conducted by the Federal University of San Paolo in Brazil, masturbation may be the key to fighting off the disorder.

The Sleep Journal letter from the team in San Paolo said that “[t]he patient reported that he would get complete relief from RLS symptoms, granting him normal sleep following sexual intercourse or masturbation.”

The San Paolo researchers believe that the remedy may be the result of the dopamine being released by the body during orgasm. In this case, the dopamine may calm the nerves down just enough to eliminate the need for the legs to move.

One researcher told AOL News to take the findings with a grain of salt, however, saying, “I’d say that’s a very reasonable and plausible theory, but it’s no more than a theory.”

Whatever, researcher guy. If Native Americans were able to cure illness for centuries with some plants, a shot of corn-based alcohol, and a happy dance, I can certainly believe that my rubbing one out or leaving a map of Hawaii (copyright Jay Mohr) on some woman I hardly know would solve my probably-imaginary leg shaky disease. That’s the main problem with science: It’s always focusing on “findings” and “solutions” rather than me ejaculating.

Masturbation May Help to Relieve Restless Legs Syndrome [AOL News]
Sexual intercourse and masturbation: Potential relief factors for restless legs syndrome? [Sleep Journal]

Breaking news quite as revolutionary and revelatory as this doesn’t come along often: A new study out of the UK reveals stunning findings that show that the more attractive a woman is, the less likely she feels to chip in for dinner. I hope you’re able to collect yourself off ]]>

Breaking news quite as revolutionary and revelatory as this doesn’t come along often: A new study out of the UK reveals stunning findings that show that the more attractive a woman is, the less likely she feels to chip in for dinner. I hope you’re able to collect yourself off the floor for the rest of this article.

This seems sexy until you realize she's just trying to steal his wallet.

Each case involved showing the subject a picture of the person they were on a hypothetical date with, then asking if they would decide to pay the entire bill, split it, or nominate their date to pay.

Women who rated themselves as most attractive were the least likely to pay for meals with a directly proportional correlation between attractiveness and willingness to pay any part of the fictional tab.

One researcher told the Daily Mail, “[Attractive women] quite literally bring more to the table, so they expect the other person to pick up the tab or expect to pay for the bill.”

The good news, ladies — Attractive men are also less likely to pay the bill than the ones not as good-looking, too. Not as bad as women, but still. It’s something.

Personally, I’m shocked. I mean not at the findings because, well, no shit. But that someone not only commissioned this study and probably gave a team a grant for this. Women believe looks hold more merit than any sort of actual substance? My stars! I never would have believed such a thing could be possible were it not for this hard empirical evidence provided by the researchers at St. Andrews. Bless you all for this knowledge you’ve given society that we could never have determined ourselves!

What I really want to see is a longitudinal study tracking women who think they’re attractive and their willingness to pay the bill as they age and their vision of their looks doesn’t mesh with society’s. The simple joy of a 40-year-old woman who was gorgeous 20 years ago saying she wouldn’t pay for the date with a photo of a man, only for the printed photo to grow legs and walk out of the room uttering, “Really? This is just absurd. Enjoy dying alone,” would be the height of science-based entertainment.

Let’s not go Dutch: Attractive women expect their date to pay for dinner because they’re worth it [Daily Mail via CNBC]

A dating Web site called SmartDate.com poll almost 20,000 men (and a similar number of women) who use their site to find out who’s having the most sex. The results show that guys with an “S” at the end of the name fare the best.

According ]]>

A dating Web site called SmartDate.com poll almost 20,000 men (and a similar number of women) who use their site to find out who’s having the most sex. The results show that guys with an “S” at the end of the name fare the best.

According to the results, men named Chris, Charles, Matt, Dennis [EDITOR'S NOTE: The D.E.N.N.I.S. system works!] and Luke had more sexual partners than many other common names. Men named Chris averaged 11.3 sexual partners, Charles averaged 11.1, Matt averaged 10.9, Dennis averaged 10.8, and Luke averaged 10.7.

The names Edward, Dylan, Frank, and Jason fared the worst for men, averaging around one sexual partner each.

As a whole, men averaged 5.2 sexual partners while women averaged 4.4.

On the women’s side, Vanessa, Angela, Tamara, Diana, and Sheila were the top five female names giving up the golden portal the most ranging from 10.2 to 9.4 sexual partners.

Girls named Dorothy fared the worst, averaging 1.3 partners (though still higher than the Edwards, Dylans, Franks, and Jasons of the world).

And the race to message chicks on Facebook named Vanessa starts…NOW.

A study in Australia shows that more and more Generation Y (born in the mid-70s to early 2000s) women are struggling with basic traditionally female chores such as cooking, cleaning, and sewing. Oh, feminism. According to the study commissioned by the Courier-Mail, only 51 percent of ]]>

A study in Australia shows that more and more Generation Y (born in the mid-70s to early 2000s) women are struggling with basic traditionally female chores such as cooking, cleaning, and sewing. Oh, feminism.

According to the study commissioned by the Courier-Mail, only 51 percent of women under 30 can cook a roast compared to 82 percent of baby boomers.

Baking a cake also showed a steep drop with only 20 percent of the women under 30 polled saying they know how compared to 45 percent for older generations.

On the plus side, the women under 30 are proving more adept at traditionally male activities; ovr 70 percent of women under 30 polled say they often take out the trash, 77 percent mow the lawn, and 70 percent say they manage their car being washed [ED. NOTE: Hopefully in bikinis to raise money for their cheerleader friends].

I’m not entirely sure what to take away from this survey. Will being able to make cake and sew make me more likely to find a foxy professional woman to fill that void in their skill-set? Or should I stop taking out the trash in the hopes that a strapping young woman will come over and save me from my own excessive waste, like a more romantic version of “2 Girls 1 Cup”? Every time I think I have all the answers, female empowerment changes all the questions.

Generation Y women losing ‘female’ skills such as cooking, ironing and sewing [News.com.au]

Not content to let OKCupid and it’s delightful OKTrends blog steal all the spotlight, eHarmony released these two infographics today taking a look at what men and women really want from their relationships. According to an eHarmony spokesperson, the study was put together using the ]]>

Not content to let OKCupid and it’s delightful OKTrends blog steal all the spotlight, eHarmony released these two infographics today taking a look at what men and women really want from their relationships.

According to an eHarmony spokesperson, the study was put together using the personality profiles the site builds upon users signing up. Though they couldn’t provide an exact number, the number of people whose data was being cataloged is said to be “huge”. It’s said to be one of the first times eHarmony has delved into its massive user database to cull information of this kind.

Take a look at the findings below, followed by our analysis.

Clearly, eHarmony needs to make “Boobs” and “Likely to Drink Enough Vodka and Sodas That She’ll Be Likely to Put Out But Not Be So Drunk That It Could Be a Legal Situation” as qualifiers. Until then, I consider this data set to be incomplete.

eHarmony blog [eHarmony]

Dutch researchers have found that a random outbreak of flulike symptoms could be the result of an allergy to orgasms, according to a new study. Utrecht University in the Netherlands found that men suffering from the condition can suffer from symptoms including a fever, runny nose, ]]>

Dutch researchers have found that a random outbreak of flulike symptoms could be the result of an allergy to orgasms, according to a new study.

Utrecht University in the Netherlands found that men suffering from the condition can suffer from symptoms including a fever, runny nose, burning eyes, and extreme fatigue for up to a week.

The illness will formally be known as Post Orgasmic Illness Syndrome.

Researchers believe the symptoms stem from the body coming into contact with its own semen, causing an unexpected allergic reaction.

Fortunately, the team responsible for the findings now believes it can reverse the effects of the illness. One sexual psychopharmacology expert at the University believes that hyposensitization therapy (introducing the allergen in gradually larger amounts over years) can eventually build up resistance enough to nullify the effects.

Is it me or does this just sound like an elaborate ploy for a creepy old scientist to jack off in dudes’ mouths over the course of years? “Wait, you have extreme fatigue after you ejaculate? That’s so uncommon for men! Must be this allergy! Let’s get you a steady dose of semen rich in allergens and, over time, I think you’ll be just fine.”

I mean if I got sick every time I had an orgasm, I’d be pretty miserable enough to try random things too. Miserable enough to let an elderly Dutchman who looks like Freud beat it into my face under the guise of “hyposensitization therapy” for years? Well, that’s certainly happened to me before for far less.

Mystery illness is orgasm allergy [The Sun]
How Quickly Would You Kill Yourself If You Were Allergic To Orgasms? [Barstool NY]

So if you’re like me, you’re thinking we should probably move all of the ugly chicks to one new state called Uglymia and just never deal with them again. But OKCupid says not so fast. As part of their ongoing studies, they’ve found being slightly less attractive may lead to ]]>

So if you’re like me, you’re thinking we should probably move all of the ugly chicks to one new state called Uglymia and just never deal with them again. But OKCupid says not so fast. As part of their ongoing studies, they’ve found being slightly less attractive may lead to increased attention from fellows when dating online.

The new study looked at men’s ratings of women in relation to how many messages they get.

Some findings were expected, like:

A hot woman receives roughly 4× the messages an average-looking woman gets, and 25× as many as an ugly one.

But where things get confusing is, according to OK Cupid, when everyone finds a woman at least somewhat attractive. There’s a whole lot of intricate data analysis on the OK Trends blog, but it distills down to this principle: The more uniformly rated a woman is, the less messages she gets. So if five guys think a girl is a “7″ while five think she’s a “6″, odds are she’ll do worse in terms of messages received than a girl with ratings all over the map.

According to OKCupid, the key takeaway for women is:

As you’ve probably already noticed, women with tattoos and piercings seem to have an intuitive grasp of this principle. They show off what makes them different, and who cares if some people don’t like it. And they get lots of attention from men.

OKCupid also speculates that part of the reason the mediocre/less attractive girls get the attention is that the fact that less people are likely to want them means that more men want them with the theory being that there will then be less competition for the not-so-fair damsel’s hand.

You hear that, men? This means that the hot girl with the huge boobs might be getting less attention than the fat girl with the emo glasses and clavicle piercing. So you should probably try to have sex with whichever one agrees to do it first. Wait, I think I missed the point.

The Mathematics Of Beauty [OKCupid via Daily Intel]

Are you or someone you love the type who sleeps around a lot? Well, good news, scientists think they know why. A SUNY-Binghamton researcher claims he’s pinpointed the gene that makes people more promiscuous. According to a new study by researcher Justin Garcia, a variant of the DRD4 gene is ]]>

Are you or someone you love the type who sleeps around a lot? Well, good news, scientists think they know why. A SUNY-Binghamton researcher claims he’s pinpointed the gene that makes people more promiscuous.

Hooray for science!

Garcia said, “The motivation seems to stem from a system of pleasure and reward, which is where the release of dopamine comes in. In cases of uncommitted sex, the risks are high, the rewards substantial and the motivation variable — all elements that ensure a dopamine ‘rush.’”

The study polled and took DNA samples from 181 young adults to determine its findings.

Garcia reported that those with the gene were twice as likely to engage in uncommitted sex.

But of course, Garcia says it’s not all the gene’s fault. The choices people make in their relationships are still the primary factor. But, proportionally, this gene can make you dabble in the strange a little bit more.

Similar studies have found links between the DRD4 gene and other excesses, like gambling or alcohol addiction.

Now I’m no scientist, but what I gather from this study is that the next time I go out, I need to bring a home DNA kit, some cotton swabs, and a lab coat. I typically only bring 66% of those things when going out, but next time I’ll be sure to have all three. Nothing can stoke the flames of passion more than swabbing the cheek of a girl’s mouth, telling her to hang on, then getting back to her two weeks later when the results are in and telling her, “Good news baby, your DNA tells me you like uncommitted sex.” It’s like a novel with Fabio on the cover.

Like to Sleep Around? Blame Your Genes [LiveScience]

Trust in any relationship is important. But the rules regarding hot girl-on-girl action tend to be a little less clearly defined. Regardless of your thoughts on the matter, a third of men responded to a poll saying that yes, they would break up with their girlfriend for kissing another girl. ]]>

Trust in any relationship is important. But the rules regarding hot girl-on-girl action tend to be a little less clearly defined. Regardless of your thoughts on the matter, a third of men responded to a poll saying that yes, they would break up with their girlfriend for kissing another girl.

The results of the study showed that one in three would dump their partner who kissed a girl “for fun.”

Forty-percent of the people polled said they would be “angry” about their girlfriend doing that.

For comparison’s sake, 82 percent said they would consider it cheating if their girlfriend kissed another man for fun compared to 61 percent considering it cheating for the girl-on-girl kiss.

The most popular reasons given for why men would dump their girlfriends over the lady love? They didn’t believe they’d be able to trust their girlfriend or they were concerned she would be confused about her sexual orientation.

The study was conducted for MyCelebrityFashion.co.uk by polling 1,500 British men.

It pains me to see that so many men answered this question incorrectly. The correct response is: “No, it’s not cheating so long as I’m there, we both get to pick the girl, and I get to join in or quietly masturbate in the corner. But yes, it is cheating if she’s wearing a pants suit and looks like KD Lang.” There is no room for compromise on this stance.

A third of men ‘would dump’ girlfriend over lesbian kiss [Metro.co.uk]

A study of data during a recent TED talk reveals that Facebook knows when you’re going to break up. So when will it happen? British journalist David McCandless covered the issue of Facebook revealing when breakups are most likely to happen during a TED talk on ]]>

A study of data during a recent TED talk reveals that Facebook knows when you’re going to break up. So when will it happen?

British journalist David McCandless covered the issue of Facebook revealing when breakups are most likely to happen during a TED talk on using data in interesting ways.

McCandless and a colleague searched 10,000 Facebook status updates for words like “breakup” and “broken up” to determine their findings.

The duo found two big time periods for breakups: After Valentine’s Day and before spring break. The logic? After Valentine’s Day, things don’t go according to plan for some. For others, spring is a time for a fresh start or, maybe, a spring fling.

Mondays remain the king of breakup days of the week, according to the research. Ever the romantic, no wonder Garfield hated them so.

Two weeks before Christmas was another popular time for breakups, presumably for the chizzlers who don’t want to spend money on a nice gift. But Christmas Day was the least likely day to get dumped because, come on, we’re not animals.

Personally, I’m sort of disappointed it wasn’t something totally arbitrary like Arbor Day. Nothing makes me question the wisdom of my lifestyle choices more than a vigorous celebration of trees.

Facebook knows when you’ll break up [CNN]

Last week, a popular study said that teens send about 3,330 texts each month. That’s a big number but…whatever. But this article on the study that also includes an explanation of popular teen texts made me chuckle enough to make it today’s Quote of the Day.

The Nielsen Co. analyzed mobile usage data among U.S. teens during the second quarter of 2010 and found that on average teens are sending or receiving 3,330 texts a month.

Another danger is that parents are not always knowledgeable about texting or to the abbreviations used. While many know “LOL” or “BRB,” parents should be on the watch for certain phrases that have a hidden meaning.

BlogHer writes that “kicking it” could mean having sex, while “quarter pounder with cheese” could also refer to marijuana. “KPC” means “keeping parents clueless.”

Study: Teens send 3,330 texts per month [ABC 15]

A new report is coming out that married couples with daughters are far more likely to divorce (which is good for those among us who like damaged women because, hey, it really was their fault). Some interesting tidbits within.

Not only did researchers find that ]]>

A new report is coming out that married couples with daughters are far more likely to divorce (which is good for those among us who like damaged women because, hey, it really was their fault). Some interesting tidbits within.

Not only did researchers find that couples with sons are more likely to stick together, unmarried pregnant couples were more likely to have shotgun weddings if the baby was going to be a boy and divorced mothers of boys are more likely to remarry and stay remarried.

“Fathers are significantly [3 percent] less likely to be living with their children if they have daughters versus sons,” they wrote in a 2007 paper on the subject. “We estimate that in any given year, roughly 52,000 first-born daughters younger than 12 years (and all their siblings) would have had a resident father if they had been boys.”

Past statistics show that adult daughters living at home reduce the household workload (which falls largely on the mother’s shoulders), while adult boys increase it, she said, so it’s possible that women can anticipate support from their daughters more so than from their sons, making them “less willing to tolerate negative behavior in a spouse.”

Couples With Daughters More Likely to Divorce [ABC News]

A new study that took a look at over 20,000 United States and German workers shows that skinny men make less than their fatter compatriots while, not surprisingly, thin women financially outperform heavier set gals. Better hit the elliptical before you ask for that raise. The study concluded that very ]]>

A new study that took a look at over 20,000 United States and German workers shows that skinny men make less than their fatter compatriots while, not surprisingly, thin women financially outperform heavier set gals. Better hit the elliptical before you ask for that raise.

Good luck affording those skinny jeans now, you waifish bastard.

The study estimates that thin fellows earned $8,437 less than average-weight men.

The study also found that the cost of obesity was higher on women than on men; thin women earned $15,572 more than average-weighted gals while obese women earned $13,847 less than the women of average weight. Point: Skinny chicks.

So hey, so long as you have a penis and weigh 206 pounds, enjoy that burger and those chicken wings tonight. Some may call it gorging, but I say we now call it “increasing earnings potential.” Who needs to take night classes when ice cream is so delicious? You can learn all this and more in my new book, The Lazy Man’s Guide to Earning More and Eating a Fuckload of Ice Cream. Bestseller list, here I come!

For Women, It Pays to Be Very Thin [WSJ]

We typically eschew covering studies that weigh a bit heavily towards promoting a product, but a new study by Axe is pretty interesting. The study took a look at over 1000 women’s outlooks on several different odors and the findings are interesting and occasionally creepy.

· 1 in 4 ]]>

We typically eschew covering studies that weigh a bit heavily towards promoting a product, but a new study by Axe is pretty interesting. The study took a look at over 1000 women’s outlooks on several different odors and the findings are interesting and occasionally creepy.

I hate how sassy this woman looks while she's smelling something bad. Just FYI.

· 1 in 4 girls will wait anywhere from two weeks to a month before washing their sheets in order to keep their guy’s scent under the covers.

· 2 out of 3 women (66 percent) said they would be more likely to make out with a guy on the first date if he smelled good.

· One out of two girls admits that she has committed theft by stealing an article of clothing from a guy to smell when he’s gone.

· More than half of girls (58 percent) sleep in their guy’s clothes because they like his lingering aroma.

· 60 percent of girls still remember the smell of their ex’s cologne.

All pretty interesting, but my favorite one was this:

· 56% of girls say they won’t date a guy who smells like their dad.

Okay, so 56% of girls say they won’t date a guy who smells like their dad. Good for you, majority of women. But what about the 44% of you who said you would be totally fine with a guy smelling like your dad? That is ridiculously creepy. Then again, odds are the 44% of you have some wacky daddy issues, so you’ll be more likely to give it up. Such a paradox.

I also believe that all of these items would be far less well-received if they came from men. I can’t imagine a woman I’ve ever met who would be intrigued by me saying “I haven’t changed my sheets in a while so I can sit there and take in your smell. Mmmm.” A sentence like that would be better served if said while stroking a doll’s hair and cackling maniacally.

There’s more stuff on the study at AXE’s Facebook page.