You know, you’d think by now crooks would have gotten the message. Not a week goes by without some report of some jerk making off with a guy’s iPhone, only to be tracked down by his friends or the cops, arrested, and carted off to jail. It’s not hard to ]]>

You know, you’d think by now crooks would have gotten the message. Not a week goes by without some report of some jerk making off with a guy’s iPhone, only to be tracked down by his friends or the cops, arrested, and carted off to jail. It’s not hard to track something constantly connected to the Internet and designed to ping its location to a server, you dumbasses.

Still, even by idiot thief standards, this is a new low: the morons who stole Ken McLellan’s iPad are sending him pictures of themselves. Accidentally, to boot.

Here’s what’s happening: the iPad has a feature called Photo Sharing. If you enable it, it automatically streams any photos taken on your iPad to your other Apple devices. And, yes, the thieves seem to be completely unaware of the fact that they are sending McLellan their picture.

So, take a good look:

If you know these people, let the Dallas police know. If you don’t, good for you! You’re not friends with people who will be featured on “America’s Dumbest Criminals”!

Photo Stream Is Helping a Man Find His Stolen iPad [TUAW]

When I brought you the story about alcohol soaked gummy bears, I alluded to a past trend of soaking tampons in vodka. That very idiotic act is back in the news yet again.

My favorite part of this story is the way the reporters so delicately danced ]]>

When I brought you the story about alcohol soaked gummy bears, I alluded to a past trend of soaking tampons in vodka. That very idiotic act is back in the news yet again.

My favorite part of this story is the way the reporters so delicately danced around saying that the girls are sticking the vodka soaked tampons in their vagini and the guys are jamming a tube up their asses. Look, you’re a Phoenix local news broadcast. No one is watching. They are all too busy trying to convince each other that the dry heat makes it acceptable to live in a climate where it’s frequently over 100°. I’d willing to bet the anchor could have dropped the little kid’s quote from Kindergarten Cop, and no one would have noticed.

To the point though, this is a stupid thing to do. What’s so hard about getting drunk like a normal person? If you really don’t like the taste of vodka, try getting a bottle that costs more than $9 per half gallon. Something tells me that it won’t be the first time any girl willing to do this has a burning sensation in her pants. And as for the guys, if you really want to let out your inner Samwell, just swing through Boystown. You should never disrespect a beer bong by sticking it where the sun don’t shine. Beyond that, you would obviously need another person to hold the bong up for you, and that’s just weird.
 

After reading these quotes from Bronson Arroyo, I’m not sure whether he is serious or just pulling a fast one on us.

Cause by God, if somebody is this stupid, they shouldn’t be throwing 90+ MPH fastballs near anybody…

My favorite quote

As for the potential ]]>

After reading these quotes from Bronson Arroyo, I’m not sure whether he is serious or just pulling a fast one on us.

Cause by God, if somebody is this stupid, they shouldn’t be throwing 90+ MPH fastballs near anybody…

My favorite quote

As for the potential health risks? “It might be dangerous,” he said, according to the report, “but so is drinking and driving. And how many of us do it at least once a year? Pretty much everybody.”

So in honor of Arroyo’s pure genius with regard to PEDs, the Guyism brings you

The Wheel of Fortune Genius

The Moran Guy

Jessica Simpson

The Who Wants to be a Millionaire Lady

Mike Tyson

The Pregant druggie

Miss South Carolina

Rickey Henderson

Kellie Pickler

Terry Bradshaw

Other posts you might like:

The Top Ten White Guy Dunks
The 11 Hottest Sports Movie Tomboys
The 25 Greatest Moments in Celebrity Cleavage

My experience getting coffee this morning was probably more than I bargained for.

An Indian couple in front of me got to the register and asked for a milk shake for their son.

A milk shake at Einstein bagels? Maybe they weren’t familiar with coffee shops. To make matters ]]>

My experience getting coffee this morning was probably more than I bargained for.

An Indian couple in front of me got to the register and asked for a milk shake for their son.

A milk shake at Einstein bagels? Maybe they weren’t familiar with coffee shops. To make matters worse the young man at the register offered a iced mocha instead…

Uh, last time I checked, a chocolate milk shake and an iced mocha really aren’t the the same thing…In fact, the kid might die if he drank an iced mocha

Anyways, I get to the front of the line…

Him: What’d you have?

Me: Everything Bagel and I can get a medium coffee

Him: You want something to drink?

Me: Yes, a medium coffee

Him: What size?

Me: I said medium

Him: Oh

The future looks bleak folks….

You know, we often hear….

“Man, so and so did the dumbest thing the other day”

or

“I can’t believe he/she could be that stupid”

The tag of “Stupidest Person in the World” carries a lot of responsibility. You have to beat those Darwin Award people, who rightfully can ]]>

You know, we often hear….

“Man, so and so did the dumbest thing the other day”

or

“I can’t believe he/she could be that stupid”

The tag of “Stupidest Person in the World” carries a lot of responsibility. You have to beat those Darwin Award people, who rightfully can claim many fantastic feats.

But amongst all the Darwinists, the skateboarders, and the Ms. South Carolina’s of the world stands one man.

Read more…

Every morning, I wake up early to peruse our terrible local papers.

And every once in awhile, something catches my eye.

Like today, it said the Lions were overconfident going into Sunday’s game.

(Brace yourself for a rant.)

HOW THE HELL CAN YOU BE OVERCONFIDENT ]]>

Every morning, I wake up early to peruse our terrible local papers.

And every once in awhile, something catches my eye.

Like today, it said the Lions were overconfident going into Sunday’s game.

(Brace yourself for a rant.)

HOW THE HELL CAN YOU BE OVERCONFIDENT WHEN YOU ARE COMING OFF A 7-9 SEASON?

HOW THE HELL CAN YOU BE OVERCONFIDENT WHEN YOU HAVEN’T MADE THE PLAYOFFS THIS MILLENIUM?

HOW THE HELL CAN YOU BE OVERCONFIDENT WHEN YOU’VE 31 GAMES IN 7 YEARS?

Honestly, am I taking crazy pills or something? If I sucked that bad for that long, I would go into every game thinking the worse. I would go into every game thinking that at best, I’m lucky to have a job on the worst team in the league.

“I hope this loss humbled this locker room,” Raiola, the starting center and a captain, said Monday. “I think we maybe got ahead of ourselves too early, too fast.”

Hey, earth to Dom, you’re a fat f*ck who has been here since the beginning of the Matt Millen era.

Not only are you delusional but you’re f**ckin stupid.

I hope that your Lions get raped by the Packers on Sunday. I hope that Aaron Rodgers has a career day and make Packers fans forget Brett Favre

And then I hope the fans get so fed up that they storm the field and just starting beating up on players.

And not just throw beers and stuff. I’m talking an all out ass whooping. Dudes pulling out seats and beating players over the head with it. Parents using their children as tomahawks to take out several players at once.

And then I hope, somebody makes it up the owners suite and pulls Matt Millen by his ridiculous beard and tosses him 30 stories onto the field

That’d make my day

– Watch more free videos

My favorite part of the video is that a single one of these aholes even goes to check on her. I think one guy says to “roll her over”.

What is she a dog?

How bad is it in Detroit?

Well, we still have old man Ford as our owner.

We still have Matt Millen as our GM.

And yes, we still have a losing team for years to come.

That point ]]>

How bad is it in Detroit?

Well, we still have old man Ford as our owner.

We still have Matt Millen as our GM.

And yes, we still have a losing team for years to come.

That point was hammered to the fans yesterday when the Lions re-signed seldom used RB Tatum Bell.

To put Bell’s signing into perspective, he sat the last 10 games of the year because he desperately wanted to be traded. However, if the season started today, the Lions would have to slot him in as the starter.

Feel free at this point to cue up your carnival music.

Your Detroit Lion Running Backs for the 2008-2009 season

Kevin Jones-Knee Surgery, questionable return
Brian Calhoun-Knee Surgery, the worst use of a 3rd round pick ever
Tatum Bell-Couldn’t find another team, forced to sign with Lions
Aveion Cason-6 years in the league, already his 2nd stint with the Lions. That’s all you need to know about him

There are certain things you learn as you go through your life that seemingly stick with your forever.

“Look both ways before you cross the street” is a perfect example”

When you’re a kid, you’re told

“Don’t talk ]]>

There are certain things you learn as you go through your life that seemingly stick with your forever.

“Look both ways before you cross the street” is a perfect example”

When you’re a kid, you’re told

“Don’t talk to strangers”

Great advice that you will more than likely pass onto your kids

So where does the

“LOOK IN YOUR REARVIEW MIRROR YOU STUPID ASSHOLE” fit into the realm of this discussion.

While I was pumping gas on Saturday night, a man decided he didn’t need to look behind him before reversing. I wonder if he thought he had some kind of
telepathic powers so he could feel if there was somebody there. Either way, I had no way of stopping him as I was standing there waving my arms and telling him to stop.

After hitting my car, the guy gets out and says “Sorry man” as I was screaming expletives at him. But what happened next was far more suprising. This asshole gets in his car and tries to leave.

I was shocked. Who hits somebody, gets out and says sorry and then just leaves. Incomprehensible I tell ya. Good thing my buddy Johnny stepped in front of his car before he left. The man then asks “Is there any damage”.

Hell, I don’t know buddy, you just backed into my car, whaddya think?

So this guy gets the “DUMB ASSHOLE OF THE YEAR” award.

I know you have my name by the way, so when you google it, I hope to God you come across this site and realize how much of a dipcrap you are.

Rivers taunts Cutler

Rivers forgets his place in the pecking order of the NFL. Let me give him a run down.

Brady, Manning…..

Favre

Romo

Palmer

……

Donkey

Rivers

Kitna

So looking at this logically, Rivers is worse than a donkey but slightly better than a ]]>

Rivers taunts Cutler

Rivers forgets his place in the pecking order of the NFL. Let me give him a run down.

Brady, Manning…..

Favre

Romo

Palmer

……

Donkey

Rivers

Kitna

So looking at this logically, Rivers is worse than a donkey but slightly better than a guy who needed Jesus to miraculously bring him back from a concussion.

Well done Phil!