Serena Williams isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. I get it. Maybe she’s a bit too muscular for you. I get it. Maybe you don’t find her features appealing. I get it. But can we stop with the whole “man” thing. It sucks. ]]>

Serena Williams isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. I get it. Maybe she’s a bit too muscular for you. I get it. Maybe you don’t find her features appealing. I get it. But can we stop with the whole “man” thing. It sucks. It’s not funny. And frankly, you’re not funny if you’re saying it. So fellas, if you’re outraged about the rap song and feel the need to drop a few Serena tweets out there, think again. I’m going to find you and I’m going to post about you being an asshole.

8 Frat boys

I’m stunned that a frat boy would resort to such low brow humor.

7 Iron Sheik

You’re so overdue for a camel clutch.

6 Speak English mother fu-ker

No, you’re ugly.

5 Kim-Jong Dum

Actually, you know what, your name says it all.

4 John Pritchard is a dick

When’s your stand up routine John?

3 Luke Skywalker

Luke Sykwalker’s much cooler than you.

2 Barry Bonds

Barry’s nuts are so shriveled, that yes, he may indeed be a woman now.

1 Austin Powers

Oh, I see what you did there. You tried to make an Austin Powers joke. A movie that originally filmed in 1997. Asshole.

Serena Williams’ bachelorette status has been the topic of much discussion ever since her, “I will never date again” tweet two weeks ago. In an interview with Piers Morgan Friday, Serena implied she had a broken heart. So who was it?

Wow, somebody did a number on ]]>

Serena Williams’ bachelorette status has been the topic of much discussion ever since her, “I will never date again” tweet two weeks ago. In an interview with Piers Morgan Friday, Serena implied she had a broken heart. So who was it?

Wow, somebody did a number on Serena. Now only did the woman say she would never date again, but she’d rather have a pulmonary embolism than endure heartbreak for the second time. The obvious suspect here is Common, who once said he was ready to marry the tennis star. But Serena’s been linked to a number of other people since. Among them Drake, LaVar Arrington and most recently, Bulgarian tennis pro Grigor Dimitrov. She was even spotted at one of his matches last month. She’s been adamant the two are friends but her comments on Twitter suggest a recent dust-up.

So is he to blame for breaking poor Serena’s heart? Who knows. The Piers Morgan interview probably came at a sensitive time in her life and it’s a good bet, sometime down the road, she’ll hit the dating scene again. Presumably with as much grunting as she does in her matches.

Elmo, come on Elmo, quit it with the wandering eyes buddy. You’re supposed to be a role model for kids not a wandering furry monster with a raging boner. Asshole. Next time I see you, you’re getting the tickle treatment.

By the way, that’s 26-year-old Czech pro Barbora Strycova ]]>

Elmo, come on Elmo, quit it with the wandering eyes buddy. You’re supposed to be a role model for kids not a wandering furry monster with a raging boner. Asshole. Next time I see you, you’re getting the tickle treatment.

By the way, that’s 26-year-old Czech pro Barbora Strycova who I find mildly attractive. Check out the pics.

In our quest to bring you everything Caroline Wozniacki comes this rather unflattering picture of her boyfriend, Rory McIlroy. Now, according to the PGA tour, McIlroy stands at 5’9″. That measurement must include him wearing very large boots. Or maybe Wozniacki’s the starting center for the Danish Olympic ]]>

In our quest to bring you everything Caroline Wozniacki comes this rather unflattering picture of her boyfriend, Rory McIlroy. Now, according to the PGA tour, McIlroy stands at 5’9″. That measurement must include him wearing very large boots. Or maybe Wozniacki’s the starting center for the Danish Olympic b-ball team.

Who knows.

Either way, I bet the sex between them really sucks. Not because she’s significantly taller or has a huge forehead. No, none of that. It’s because she’s not one of the grunters on tour. I mean, if you were gonna go out and snag a tall, leggy blonde who plays tennis, you might as well have grabbed the one who sounds like someone’s putting the wood to her over and over.

Or, you know, Serena Williams. Cause, dat ass.

Caroline Wozniacki is not only a tennis star, she’s a worldwide pop sensation. Ok, that’s probably going too far. The great Dane released her song “Oxygen” a few weeks ago and now, the music video has emerged. It features her playing with dogs, signing autographs ]]>

Caroline Wozniacki is not only a tennis star, she’s a worldwide pop sensation. Ok, that’s probably going too far. The great Dane released her song “Oxygen” a few weeks ago and now, the music video has emerged. It features her playing with dogs, signing autographs and driving fancy cars. It’s also heavily autotuned and straight up garbage juice music. Reminiscent of the techno BS popular in European night clubs. That being said, proceeds from the song go to the Polish and Danish Paralympic teams, so there’s a noble cause behind all of it.

Listen, enjoy and perhaps grab a pair of ear plugs midway through.

After defeating Radek Stepanek in a grueling Davis Cup match, Janko Tipsarevic headed to the net for an obligatory handshake. What he got instead was a middle finger and a few nasty words. Cameras cut away before the exchange occurred so nobody could verify the shenanigans, but Tipsarevic

After defeating Radek Stepanek in a grueling Davis Cup match, Janko Tipsarevic headed to the net for an obligatory handshake. What he got instead was a middle finger and a few nasty words. Cameras cut away before the exchange occurred so nobody could verify the shenanigans, but Tipsarevic tweeted this picture as evidence.

Not quite sure that really proves anything. Perhaps Stepanek has one of those Michael Strahan fingers? You know, one of those that don’t point in the right direction.

Humor aside, it’s clear SOMETHING was said between the two. Tipsarevic was held back by coaches in this clip.

Probably much ado about nothing but if I’m going to choose sides here, I’m going with Tipsarevic–if only, for his girlfriend.

Serena Williams attended something called the Macy’s Passport Glamorama Fashion Extravaganza in Los Angeles the other day, but the real story of the event was the magical fabric Serena’s dress was made out of that kept it from exploding under the strain of all of her curves. ]]>

Serena Williams attended something called the Macy’s Passport Glamorama Fashion Extravaganza in Los Angeles the other day, but the real story of the event was the magical fabric Serena’s dress was made out of that kept it from exploding under the strain of all of her curves. She must have visited the same wizards that make dresses for Kim Kardashian. She was in L.A. after all.

I know what big fans you all are of Anna Kournikova (Hell, who isn’t?) so when I saw these photos of her leaving the gym in Miami I figured you’d like to see them. Oh sure, they’re kind of boring, what with her being all dressed and ]]>

I know what big fans you all are of Anna Kournikova (Hell, who isn’t?) so when I saw these photos of her leaving the gym in Miami I figured you’d like to see them. Oh sure, they’re kind of boring, what with her being all dressed and such, but hey it’s Anna Kournikova in Spandex… What doid you have to do this morning that’s better than looking at Anna in skintight clothing? Yeah, that’s what I thought…

After promptly disposing of his opponent David Ferrer in straight sets and winning his fifth Rome Masters title, Rafael Nadal wanted to thank all his fans and supporters who stuck around for a rain-soaked matched.

So he gave them the middle finger.

Perhaps this wasn’t directed ]]>

After promptly disposing of his opponent David Ferrer in straight sets and winning his fifth Rome Masters title, Rafael Nadal wanted to thank all his fans and supporters who stuck around for a rain-soaked matched.

So he gave them the middle finger.

Perhaps this wasn’t directed at the fans but rather at Mother Nature. Play was suspended twice for lengthy periods because of torrential rain. Or maybe it was directed at his opponent who was less than gracious in defeat.

“Maybe the court was slower and I had problems to [end] the points,” Ferrer said. “Of course, Rafael had good chances in the important moments. It’s difficult against him, but I’m happy with my game.”

Either way, a hearty round of applause for Nadal. It’s not everyday you get to tell the sports world to f–k off without anybody noticing

Most of the time, we prefer our athletes to be warm, smiling characters. Look at LeBron James; the guy is 6’8 and packs 250 pounds but you would have no problem approaching him on the street. He just looks like a nice guy. This list is not for guys ]]>

Most of the time, we prefer our athletes to be warm, smiling characters. Look at LeBron James; the guy is 6’8 and packs 250 pounds but you would have no problem approaching him on the street. He just looks like a nice guy. This list is not for guys like that. Contained below are the most frightening, snarling athletes that the general public would do well to avoid like their lives depend on it.

1 Mike Tyson

You don’t get the nickname “The Baddest Man on the Planet” by being a nice guy. In his heyday, Mike possessed a rare combination of speed, knockout power, and blood lust. He’s broken opponent’s orbital bones, bit off ears, spent time in prison. You name the act, and Mike has committed it with the unapologetic rage of a wild man. If you’re not completely convinced by now, simply go look up videos of his interviews. His mere presence has even the most steadfast reporters shivering. Plus, the guy tried to take out Little Mac!

2 Serena Williams

For years everyone had their suspicions that the younger sister was secretly a psychotic super athlete. Just watch her play tennis. She hits the ball like it owes her money, screaming out a war cry with each stroke. She’s also got biceps that look like they were infused to her body during a lab experiment. But the confirmation of many people’s fears came during last year’s U.S. Open final. Disputing a call, she stormed over to the female line judge and threatened to “Shove this **** ball down your ***** throat.” Yikes.

3 Ray Lewis

Some athletes have the ability to act like complete gentlemen off the field but turning into monsters while on it. Ray Lewis is one of those men. From his maniacal pre-game ritual that looks straight out of a Tongan death dance. If you haven’t had the pleasure of listening to his pre-game speeches they kind of sound like this: “RAARR! KILL! FOOTBALL! NO MERCY!!” Ok fine we might have embellished that a little bit. On the field, ferocity of his hits are so intense that many find themselves marveling at the fact that anyone gets up afterwards.

4 Scott Parker

In a sport that demands toughness out of all of it’s athletes, Scott Parker shone as the one of the toughest. They say you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but Scott Parker is exactly what he looks like: a rough dude that can snap at any moment. During one game, Parker was so incensed that he slammed his stick against the penalty box glass and got himself ejected. But before he could be led off the ice, he jumped onto the glass between the two team’s benches and started hitting an opposing player in the face. Now retired, Parker runs a barber shop business with his wife. Who in the world would trust him with scissors?

5 Albert Belle

Baseball is not the first sport that comes to mind when thinking of intimidating athletes. However, Albert Belle has been a special case his whole career. From throwing a ball at a fan who was taunting him during a game, to hitting a would-be vandal with his car, Belle was a man without fear or mercy. But it wasn’t just opponents and fans who feared his wrath. He reportedly took a bat to teammate Kenny Lofton’s boombox after a particularly poor at-bat. Looks like someone needed a hug badly. Volunteers?

6 Bernard Hopkins

By nature, most professional fighters are intimidating human beings. Hopkins takes the cake as one of the last guys you want staring across the ring from you in a match. Coming from the tough streets of Philadelphia, Hopkins was born rough, beating up and stealing money from older kids. Hopkins didn’t discover his love for boxing at a gym like most people, he began boxing while serving a prison sentence for multiple felonies. In the ring, Hopkins doesn’t really knock his opponents out as much as he saps their will with his bullying and counter punching. He does all of this with the countenance of a hired killer.

7 Lawrence Taylor

How many careers have you ended today? None? Oh well, you must be a normal person; unlike our next athlete Lawrence Taylor. The former Giants pass rusher was an absolute berserker on the field, seemingly with the intent to literally put them through the ground. Opposing offensive coordinators eventually had to adapt to LT’s blitzkrieg. His most infamous hit was during the 1985 season where he hit Redskins quarterback Joe Theismann so badly that Theismann broke his leg, forcing him into retirement.

8 Randy Johnson

The fact that this guy is nicknamed the Big Unit and no one thought to make fun of the guy for it (at least to his face) says a lot. Johnson stood 6’10 and rocked one of the most complete mullet/goatee combinations ever seen in sports. Imagine standing in a batter’s box seeing a guy like that throw 90+ mph fastballs in your general direction. In one particular incident, an unfortunate bird flew in the way of one of Johnson’s pitches. The bird quite literally exploded into a mess of feathers and blood. If it weren’t downright frightening, it would almost be kind of beautiful.

9 Wanderlei Silva

One does not get the nickname the “Axe Murderer” by being nice and cuddly. Silva reigned as the PRIDE middleweight champion for years, leaving a trail of would-be challengers unconscious in a pool of their own blood. A whirlwind of knees, elbows, and stomps Silva lives for the knockout. His epic pre-fight staredowns are by far the scariest in the sports of mixed martial arts. Just try to watch a clip of him without peeing your pants a little.

10 Brock Lesnar

Normal people do not have giant swords tattooed on their chests. It’s safe to say that the current UFC Heavyweight champ is not a normal person, but a genetic freak of a man. In the ring, Lesnar becomes an absolute killer with no remorse. Just ask Frank Mir whom Lesnar pinned against the cage hitting him repeatedly with hammerfists. Afterwards he still got in Mir’s face and let him know just who the alpha dog is. Lesnar, a former NCAA and WWE wrestling champion, spends his free time secluded in the woods hunting wild game and presumably running rampant on small villages.

And today, in extremely depressing news, Tennis great Martina Navratilova announced on Good Morning America that she is fighting breast cancer

The day she received her diagnosis was her “personal 9/11,” Navratilova told “GMA” anchor Robin Roberts. “I was devastated.”

In February, the tennis legend was ]]>

And today, in extremely depressing news, Tennis great Martina Navratilova announced on Good Morning America that she is fighting breast cancer

The day she received her diagnosis was her “personal 9/11,” Navratilova told “GMA” anchor Robin Roberts. “I was devastated.”

In February, the tennis legend was diagnosed with an aggressive form of ductal carcinoma in situ (DCIS), considered the earliest form of breast cancer. Navratilova had a lumpectomy in February, during which her doctors determined that the cancer had not spread to her lymph nodes.

Although I can barely decipher any of the words in that quote, it sounds like a good prognosis. Navratilova, who’s won a record 167 titles worldwide including 18 grand slams was active on the tennis tour as recently as 2006 when she won the mixed doubles title at the U.S Open. Oh yea, she was 49 when that happened.

She’s certainly ranks as one of greatest female tennis players of all-time and even more so, one of the greatest female athletes in general.

Martina Navratilova Fighting Breast Cancer {ABC News}

At 5’10″ and 180 lbs, Serena Williams doesn’t have many physical equals on the tennis court. Playing football in the water however, well, that evens the playing field a bit. Check out the :23 second mark when Serena lays out some guy trying to catch a pass.

He’ll ]]>

At 5’10″ and 180 lbs, Serena Williams doesn’t have many physical equals on the tennis court. Playing football in the water however, well, that evens the playing field a bit. Check out the :23 second mark when Serena lays out some guy trying to catch a pass.

He’ll think twice about going over the middle with that free safety looming.

Considering Serena is part owner of the Miami Dolphins, it wouldn’t be that bad of an investment to suit up herself and play for the aqua and orange. And although, she may not have good enough hands to play tight end, she certainly doesn’t lack any junk in the trunk to fit the description.

Blake Lively wants $2.5 million to pose for Playboy. “Playboy had already been calling her — she figures a Playboy spread now will really give her some heat in her career.” I am officially starting The ]]>

Celebrity gossip items you may have missed this week…

Blake Lively wants $2.5 million to pose for Playboy. “Playboy had already been calling her — she figures a Playboy spread now will really give her some heat in her career.” I am officially starting The Get Blake Lively Into Playboy Now Fund. Donations welcome.

I think Twilight’s Robert Pattinson might be gay. In a new interview with Details magazine, in which Pattinson was photographed with several scantily-clad female models, the British actor reveals why the shoot wasn’t exactly his cup of tea. “I really hate vaginas. I’m allergic to vagina,” he tells Details.

Speaking of gay. Elton John thinks Jesus was gay. Said Elton, “I think Jesus was a compassionate, super-intelligent gay man who understood human problems.” I bet Lady Gaga told him that.

Charlie Sheen’s wife, Brooke Mueller (you know, the one that called the cops on him on Christmas), has entered rehab for substance abuse. “If Brooke struggled with substance abuse around the Christmas Day incident, it could severely impact her credibility.” Thank you, Mr. Obvious.

Kristin Cavallari could be headed to rehab. Sources close to The Hills say Kristin has been spiraling down a very dangerous drug and alcohol path after rising to fame. Funny, I’m not famous and I am on the same path.

Jersey Shore’s Snooki and JWoww aren’t really Italian. J-Woww identified herself as Spanish and Irish, while Snooki confessed to Chilean roots. So Guidettes dont’ have to be Italian? I’m so confused.

Speaking of Snooki, apparently there are 20 ‘naked’ pics and a video being shopped around. Buyer beware.

Shakira may be cheating on her boyfriend with tennis star Rafael Nadal, who also has a girlfriend. An eyewitness said of the Barcelona encounter, “There was just the two of them at the table together. They were whispering and all smiles. It definitely looked like they are more than just friends.” Well, that all but confirms it.

Hayden Panettiere has reportedly undergone breast augmentation surgery recently. “Hayden went from an A to a C cup, and she couldn’t be happier. She’s wanted bigger boobs since she was 17, but the time and scheduling were just never right. She finally decided to do it right after the holidays.” Cool. A midget with fake boobs.

We’re big fans of tennis hottie Caroline Wozniacki here at Guyism, and now, after these pictures have surfaced, we’ll say we might as well be the presidents of her fan club.

And say what you want, but this is good for tennis…it was in ]]>

We’re big fans of tennis hottie Caroline Wozniacki here at Guyism, and now, after these pictures have surfaced, we’ll say we might as well be the presidents of her fan club.

And say what you want, but this is good for tennis…it was in need of a new hottie. Ana Ivanoic has sorta disappeared from the landscape and dare I say, Maria Sharapova isn’t what she once was (not that I’m complaining or anything)

Head over to Busted Coverage to catch the full scoop.  And by scoop, I mean more pics of her and her friends in bikinis.

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Tennis hottie Caroline Wozniacki is in Qatar for the Sony Ericsson WTA championships. And apparently, somebody thought this would be a good photo op.

Um, if I had to guess what was going on here, I’d say the chick in the black is teaching her how to make a ]]>

Tennis hottie Caroline Wozniacki is in Qatar for the Sony Ericsson WTA championships. And apparently, somebody thought this would be a good photo op.

Um, if I had to guess what was going on here, I’d say the chick in the black is teaching her how to make a friendship bracelet….I swear those went out of style in the 80s. Keep up random hooded woman.

And speaking of good photo ops, I have an idea….How about Wozniacki in a bikini? A lot more exciting than this

Andre Agassi has finally admitted to using drugs….Wow

Not like we didn’t already know. Let me guess…the time you described in the book was the only time right?

Yea, I’ve heard that song and dance before. But instead of speculating, let’s look at some pictorial evidence of Agassi’s drug use

We’ve seen the half clay-half grass court, we’ve seen matches on that hotel roof in Dubai , and now…..

Well now, we have the dumbest one of them all.

A match on a high speeding train.

Billed as the “fastest tennis in the world,” seventh-ranked ]]>

We’ve seen the half clay-half grass court, we’ve seen matches on that hotel roof in Dubai , and now…..