As everyone surely knows by now, Norway was the victim of a terrorist attack. Anders Behring Breivik, 32, both orchestrating a bombing in downtown Oslo that killed 8, and later went on a shooting spree at an island where a youth camp resides. Dressed as a cop, 68 people were shot and killed, a good deal of them children.

For a number of days there was mass confusion, which included a slightly higher body count. But now details are starting to come through, such as his motives… a few hours before the attack, he posted a 1,500 + manifesto detailing his anti-multiculturalist and right-wing beliefs, with much of his hatred aimed towards Muslims, from whom he wanted to “save Europe” from. The camp, btw, was for run by the left wing Labour Party, for whom he blames many of Europeans problems upon.

It’s also been revealed that portions of his manifesto has been lifted by the Unabomber, aka Ted Kaczynski, including a part in which Breivik rages against feminism and women in general. Anyway, why am I being a downer and mentioning all this? Well, there’s also reports that the dude was addicted to video games, Modern Warfare 2 and World of Warcraft to be precise, and used them to get read for his “long-planned mission”.

Part of his aforementioned 1,500 page tirade also includes the following: “I just bought Modern Warfare 2, the game. It is probably the best military simulator out there and it’s one of the hottest games this year. I see MW2 more as a part of my training-simulation than anything else.” Oh boy. It’s also noted that because shooting guns is tricky in Europe, he suggested everyone to turn towards video games as practice. Yikes.

Well… needless to say, this will no doubt lead to another wave of reactionary headlines and infuriatingly retarded political rhetoric. Some have even stated that Fox News would be all over this, though last I checked, they haven’t pointed any video game connection out, which is certainly nice. Though one gets the sense that we ain’t seen nothing yet. Get ready.

Norway suspect admits using video games for ‘training-simulation’ [The West Australian]

In more game specific news, not sure about the rest of you, but the first thing I did when I woke up this morning was see if there were any wacky Flash games celebrating the death of America’s most wanted. Newgrounds was my first stop, which is where I came across Mujahedin…

Not surprisingly, it’s pretty popular. Kotaku has already written about it, and also pointed out the diverse reaction it’s getting; people either think it’s hilarious, or just flat out racist. Call me a wiener, but I find the subject of suicide bombers on the super depressing side, though I did have fun trying to identify which games are being ripped off, audio-wise.

Personally, I would have preferred something a bit more direct, where you simply get to fill OBL’s body with bullets, with a special bonus level involving the dumping of the body at sea, to set up the sequel. But hey, it’s not even noon yet and we’ve got a long day ahead of us.

Agents for Britain’s MI5 intelligence service have discovered that Muslim doctors trained at some of Britain’s leading teaching hospitals have returned to their own countries to fit surgical implants filled with explosives, according to a report from Joseph Farah’s G2 Bulletin.

Women suicide bombers recruited by al-Qaida are known to have had the explosives inserted in their breasts under techniques similar to breast enhancing surgery. The lethal explosives – usually PETN (pentaerythritol Tetrabitrate) – are inserted during the operation inside the plastic shapes. The breast is then sewn up.

“Properly inserted the implant would be virtually impossible to detect by the usual airport scanning machines. You would need to subject a suspect to a sophisticated X-ray. Given that the explosive would be inserted in a sealed plastic sachet, and would be a small amount, would make it all the more impossible to spot it with the usual body scanner.”

So at first blush, it seems like this is a real advancement for Middle Eastern women, finally rising to some modicum of responsibility and breaking through the terrorism glass ceiling. But then again, when you realize that women are often beaten with sticks or stoned to death in the middle of town square for showing some of their delicious ankles to a stranger by mistake, it doesn’t seem like much of an upward movement to graduate to having a boob blown off after eating a freeze-dried chicken and stuffing dish that tastes like an uncooked aborted fetus. But hey, it’s something, right?

[WorldNetDaily]

On a post-Christmas flight out of New Orleans last week, the TSA confiscated young Josh Pitney’s Play-Doh.

“You know all you have to worry about is it getting in the carpet – a small problem to have as opposed to a child who is entertained for half an hour,” said the child’s mother Christy Pitney.

“I had the kids and my husband was there with all our bags, she continued. “Josh and I were sitting, getting our shoes on and, my husband kind of motioned to us and said – they took our Play -Doh.”

Pitney continued, “And the man from TSA was taking every can out at a time and putting it on a table, and Josh saw and he started fussing. I tried to explain that those were the rules, but it turns out it’s not prohibited on the TSA’s website – so apparently those are not the rules.”

Christy was right. Play-Doh is not a prohibited item and it is allowed on board.

In the TSA’s defense, when reached for comment, a spokeswoman said that TSA employees are encouraged to use their discretion. I mean, other than when a guy with an explosive crotch is waddling through terminals like he’s wearing a diaper after being on several different government watch lists. Then, hey, let’s not get too crazy. A man’s got to fly.

It’s probably a case of “better safe than sorry” though. Have you ever been around a small child? They could find a way to injure themselves in a box full of pillows. This kid might have been trying to make delicious Play Doh McDonald’s hamburgers and ended up accidentally MacGyvering his way to a plastic can of C-4. A child with any object is at least as dangerous as a 2nd tier James Bond villain.

[My Fox DC]

Listen, so what if MacGyver’s bathing kids that don’t belong to him and getting all wet? It doesn’t mean he’s a pedophile. Maybe he’s just a bath enthusiast. This kid has to learn a lot of important lessons in life. MacGyver apparently previously taught him that it’s okay for a strange man to wash his dingle, and now he’s learning how to disassemble a bomb. That seems like a fair trade-off. Shit, MacGyver can wash my ballsack if it means that I get a free lesson in preventing terrorism. That’s the kind of sacrifices I’m willing to make for my country.

Still though, this kid’s not even cute. You can do better, MacGyver. Find someone a little more tussleable. You deserve it.

[via]

Terror suspect David Williams’ father went on an anti-Semitic rant Wednesday after his son and three others entered not guilty pleas.

“The government is blowing this up, especially those Jews,” David Williams Sr. said of allegations the four suspects plotted to blow up Bronx synagogues.

“Those Jews in the media are turning this into something it is not.”

[via]

It was a loooot of fun!

We visited the Detainees camps and we saw the jails, where they shower, how the (sic) recreate themselves with movies, classes of art, books. It was very interesting. I didn’t want to leave, it was such a relaxing place, so calm and beautiful.

[for more on the situation that I can't be assed to cover, visit the source]

President Obama has signed an executive order to close the U.S. prison at the Guantanamo Bay Naval Base. Pennsylvania Rep. Jack Murtha (D) has already said he would be willing to house prisoners from Guantanamo Bay in his congressional district if the president closes the prison.

YOU DECIDE: Would you want prisoners from Guantanamo housed in your state or town? Share your thoughts?

[source, via]

A man faces deportation to Israel after he tried to claim a bag at a casino hotel and made remarks about a bomb being in the luggage, police said Monday.

Two men who appeared to be of Middle Eastern descent approached the front desk of the Tropicana Casino and Resort at 9:10 a.m. Saturday and tried to retrieve some luggage, police said. They did not have a claim check and the attendants said they could not claim the items without one.

Liran D. Dray, 27, of Brooklyn, N.Y., then said something to the effect of, “What if I had a bomb in there?” police spokeswoman Sgt. Monica McMenamin said. Desk attendants Ashley Bonaduce and AnnMarie Pascale called hotel security, who then called police.

[via]

Jack Thomas, by his own admission, realised then he was not just at any old military camp in Afghanistan, but an al-Qaeda camp.

And Thomas got close enough to bin Laden to observe the al-Qaeda leader was polite and shy, didn’t mind a hug, but wasn’t so fond of kissing.

“He was definitely well loved,” Thomas said of Bin laden in an interview with Australian TV network ABC which was played in court last week.

“(He) was very polite and humble and shy.

“He didn’t like too many kisses. He didn’t mind being hugged, but kisses he didn’t like.”

Thomas said bin Laden “seemed to float across the floor”.

What Thomas fails to mention is his zeal for teabag-related humor. You see, before bin Laden found himself hooked up to a dialysis machine, nothing would tickle him more than running up to one of his consiglieres and dipping his ballsack onto their unsuspecting face. He’s a real cut-up like that. Also a big admirer of rimjobs. You’d think that’s against the Quran, but not to Osama; he pasted in a special page that says something to the effect of a rimjob cleansing the spirit. Thank God this John Thomas character came out and revealed all of these important secrets. How could we have survived without them?

In related news, I imagine kissing Osama would be like licking my sweaty scrotum only hairier and with 1/3 more sand.

[source]

Stage one: Scare brown people.
Stage two: ?
Stage three: PROFIT!