Guyism » The future is now

Nevada approves self-driving cars; boy, they love to gamble, don’t they?

Dan Seitz — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 16:30:07 +0000

Self-driving cars are a nerd’s dream and a lawyer’s nightmare. Imagine if a robot car is speeding or cuts somebody off: is the guy who owns the car, but wasn’t driving, the one who should pay the ticket, or the company who made the car, or what?

It’s all combined to keep robocars largely in experimental labs, even as Mercedes figures out how to control a car with Twitter and Google’s self driving car gets into fender benders.

But soon, cruise control might take on a whole new meaning, at least in Nevada: the state has just approved rules for robocars.

This doesn’t mean the next time you fly to Vegas, you’ll be picked up by a robotic limousine. Autonomous car manufacturers first need to test their vehicles on Nevada’s roads, and prove to the state that they’re not going to flatten little old ladies in the crosswalk or blow through red lights. Even then, it may only be approved for certain applications, like robotic bus service or after-hours mini-shuttles to and from hotels. But it does mean that we’re one step closer to that jerk who blows past you on the highway every day having his roll slowed by a robotic back seat driver.

And isn’t that a world we all want to live in?

Nevada Approves Rules for Self Driving Cars [PCMag]

The world of tomorrow, today!

Chris Spags — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 15:05:20 +0000

I often masturbate thinking of what the future would be like, with my robot maid and her sassy attitude and skirt that shows off her pleasure chip. She knows what she’s doing. But when you look at the world of today, as seen through the eyes of the past, here’s what our lives look like.

I’m perpetually a bit disappointed in the world we live in today. I still get sick (including at this very moment, as I cough up a lung and seemingly have the immune system of a Haitian blood transfusion), I can’t eat healthy but delicious food in the form of pills, I still have to do most of the monotonous things people had to do decades ago. I guess what I’m saying is that I’m really not getting any of the pleasure from this hydraulic penis that the spam email promised me. “She’ll love your big pleasure drill,” said Babirye Barnard. “Melt her icy love glacier now,” he said. Oh, the sweet sweet lies I so desperately wanted to believe, as presented in the form of misspelled emails.

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The house of toooooomorrowwwwwwwww

Chris Spags — Fri, 15 May 2009 13:27:34 +0000

Microsoft built a house of the future and it’s about as splendidly lazy as you’d imagine. Take a look.

I don’t know how I feel about this. We’re pretty lazy already, I can’t imagine that making it so we have to do any less is actually going to be good for people. Most of America seems one PE class away from completely bedridden obesity, let’s not tempt fate shall we?

Plus I don’t know that I trust technology that much. What if I say “directions,” like the lady says in the video, and my house robot thinks I said “erections.” If I have to deal with a barrage of robot penises thrusting into my face, I don’t know what I’d do. The last time that happened, they had to fire the person dressed up like Rosie from The Jetsons at Universal Studios.

Flying cars!

Chris Spags — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 17:40:44 +0000

It may have taken a while but dammit, we’re going to get our flying cars! Check out the Moller M400 Skycar aircraft, with a maximum speed of 360 mph.

YES! Soon I will be flying my way to work, leisurely soaring above the world while drunk off of the magic of aviation. Also, rum and cokes. But while this flying car is awesome, more importantly, it’ll open a window to get all kinds of exciting new technologies that we’ve been promised for so long. Teleporters that won’t merge my DNA with a fly’s! Treadmills in the clouds that I can get stuck in, rolling around indefinitely until my wife Jane can stop it! ROBOT WIVES!

I’ve known love, friends. From real women, dolls, chimpanzees with lustful eyes. But no sensation will compare to the joy of inserting my genitals into a vagina fashioned out of a bladeless garbage disposal. Dare to dream.