The 7 People Who Turn Every Parking Lot into a War Zone

A parking lot is just a place to leave your vehicle. It should be so simple. Just park your shit, get out and go about your business. But nothing is ever that easy.

Heroes? — A hefty Pennsylvania man was arrested after waltzing into a Walmart wearing nothing but his birthday suit and stealing a pair of socks. Of course it was all caught on video. … Did you know George Clooney’s ex Elisabetta Canalis is supposedly dating Jackass star Steve-O? The question is, does this development give you hope or make you want to kill yourself?

Hard Work — Dating a hot mom is the latest male fantasy. There’s something about a woman who maintains her hotness after popping out a few rugrats that drives some men crazy. But here are 7 reasons why dating a MILF is harder than it seems.

Take Your Pick: Katrina, Gabrielle, or Kate??

    

Did You Say iPad? — Half of everyone on Twitter is a fake entity (and probably follows Newt Gingrich). Of those fake people, a small portion are bots who will hilariously talk to you when you say some random thing. But these bots, these are the most ridiculous ones currently stalking us on Twitter.

Planet Hottiewood — Irina Shayk is one of the hottest women on the planet right now, she’s just so damn exotic, and these topless pics she just did for FHM won’t hurt her standing in the slightest (NSFWish). … Speaking of hottest on the planet, Bar Refaeli qualifies, so seeing her play tennis and bounce on trampolines in her underwear qualifies as something you really must see. … Sexy brunette Cali Lowe may not be one of the hottest women on the planet, but she still looks damn good in her black lingerie (NSFWish)

All 500 ‘Simpsons’ Openings

In case you missed it, The Simpsons just celebrated their 500th episode so to start the show they went through all 500 openings. How many have you seen before?

Since we crank out so many stories each week some really good ones get lost in the cracks. And since so many new people visit Guyism every day (thank you), we thought we’d take some time on the weekends to share a few classics that many of our newer readers may have missed.

Halloween specials are a long-standing trope of the classic sitcom. While lesser shows may simply resort to crummy costumes and stereotypical spooky plotlines, others go all out to ensure that their Halloween specials are some of the most creative and memorable episodes of the entire show’s run. Of all the TV shows to ever air, here are the ten that had the best Halloween specials.

10 ‘How I Met Your Mother’
How I Met Your Mother has only had one full-fledged Halloween special, but it was a doozy. Titled Slutty Pumpkin, the special aired during the show’s first season and brilliantly lampoons the mother of all Halloween specials – It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. Instead of staying up to validate the existence of the Great Pumpkin, however, Ted sits atop his roof annually hoping to get another glimpse of the Slutty Pumpkin – a girl he met in that location years earlier. Add in Barney’s revolving door of costumes and a bunch of great one-liners, and this is easily one of the best Halloween specials in recent years.

9 ‘Scooby Doo’
Pretty much every episode of Scooby Doo could easily air on Halloween. However, the show has done a number of Halloween-specific episodes over the year. Of them all, the classic one we all grew up on is the Headless Horseman of Halloween (first aired in 1976). The episode starts out innocently enough with the gang heading out for a good time at a normal Halloween party. However, the headless horseman shows up to ruin the festivities…with traditional Scooby Doo hi-jinks to ensue. The episode is also one of the first appearances of Scooby-Dum – Scooby Doo’s dumber, inbred cousin.

8 ‘Saved by the Bell’
Among all the memorable Saved by the Bell episodes, the Mystery Weekend episode has always stood out in my mind. Part of this is likely because it takes place wholly outside of Bayside High – revolving instead around a theatre-type murder mystery at an old-timey mansion. In classic Clue form, hidden passageways, disappearing guests and a big “murder” reveal at the end all add up to a particularly campy whodunit.

7 ‘The Office’
So far, The Office has graced its audience with three different Halloween specials (a fourth airs this week). The great thing about all of them is that the show’s writers use the holiday as a complement to more traditional storylines – a fact that helps make The Office Halloween specials some of the most realistic and relatable. For example, in the show’s first Halloween special (Halloween, 2005), the episode revolves around Michael struggling to fire someone and Jim and Pam’s still-budding romance. Add in classic costumes like Two-Headed Michael Scott and Three-Hole Punch Jim, and The Office is a great place to spend your October holiday.

6 ‘The Adventures of Pete and Pete’
In its short run, The Adventures of Pete and Pete only managed to produce one Halloween special (dubbed Halloweenie). However, the episode serves as a classic example of the show’s quirky amazing-ness. Though the episode starts out with two wholly different storylines – Little Pete wants to break the trick-or-treating record for most houses visited and Big Pete fears being terrorized by the “Pumpkin Eters” (yes, Eters) teen gang – they eventually intersect to create a completely unique and satisfying conclusion.

5 ‘Beavis and Butthead’
We have the epically titled Beavis and Butthead episode Butt-o-ween to thank for the introduction of Beavis’ Great Bungholio. After stealing candy from some kids who come their door, the two decide to go trick-or-treating themselves. After ingesting way too much candy, Beavis’ sugar rush transforms him into his oft-quoted alter ego.

4 ‘South Park’
Every time South Park chooses to do a Halloween special, they succeed in typical hilarious fashion. Whether it’s a bottle of Worcester sauce causing a zombie invasion or a classic Scooby-Doo-inspired visit from the band Korn, the show’s Halloween episodes are easily some of its best. Of course, put Cartman in a Hitler costume and Stan in a Raggedy Andy costume, and you’ve got a whole lot of icing on the cake.

3 ‘Home Improvement’
Home Improvement is a sitcom that doesn’t really stand up to the tests of time. However, during the 1990s is was a ratings juggernaut that committed to doing a full-fledged Halloween episode every single season. For this commitment to the holiday, we must take a moment to honor the Taylors and their annual attempt to outdo each other in terms of costumes and home decorations.

2 ‘Roseanne’
Ever year, the Connors went all out on Halloween to deliver a truly memorable holiday special. Despite their perennially empty pocket books, the family always managed to pool enough money together to dress up in epic costumes and deck their home out in true haunted house fashion. Much like The Office, the pranks and plots in the episodes didn’t seem contrived or out of character for the Connor family. Of course, seeing Dan chase after Roseanne with a revving chainsaw is always a good time.

1 ‘The Simpsons’
When it comes to a number one for this list, there really is no show that comes close to The Simpsons. For over twenty years, The Simpsons’ Treehouse of Horror has become an institution of global television. While there are far too many classic moments to list here, a few that spring to mind include the Evil Krusty Doll, The Shinning, 3D Homer and Homer selling his soul to Devil Ned for a donut.

50 Cent Sued Over Violent Attack
“So why is 50 being sued, aside from the fact that he’s rich? Ortiz claims 50 knew or should have known McKenzie was a known criminal who had assaulted in the past.”

Is Elin Nordegren Headed to the Altar?
“Dingman has grown so close to her children Sam and Charlie that Tiger is apparently fuming with jealousy.”

Dancing With The Stars Results: Ron Artest First To Go
“Despite receiving one of the three lowest scores on the first night of competition, Italian TV host and George Clooney ex Elisabetta Canalis and Val Chmerkovskiy were voted through.”

Britney Spears’ Conservatorship Attorneys Seeking $900K in Legal Fees
“Jamie Spears is also asking the court to continue to pay him $16k for his work as Britney’s conservator.”

“Half Pint Brawlers” — Hulk Hogan is Ripping Us Off!
“There were a lot of situations that appeared to be copied from what we already did. There were also statements made by members that are almost the exact words out of my mouth.”

Lea Michele and Boyfriend Theo Stockman Split
“They will always be friends.”

No Doubt Delay Album Release
“We don’t want to rush this album just to get it out.”

Rihanna Announces Fall Release For New Album
“Rihanna hinted that the forthcoming LP may include dubstep influences as heard on her 2009 effort Rated R.”

Fox Considering An All-Simpsons TV Channel
“…there have been a ‘number of meetings’ to determine how to capitalize on its library of episodes of The Simpsons…”

Liam Hemsworth Joins The Expendables 2
“Liam Hemsworth, junior brother of Chris Thor Hemsworth and one star of The Hunger Games, has signed on.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Carla Gugino getting all kinds of sexy in a new photo shoot for Esquire.

Since we crank out so many stories each week some really good ones get lost in the cracks. And since so many new people visit Guyism every day (thank you), we thought we’d take some time on the weekends to share a few classics that many of our newer readers may have missed.

Tormented for their odd behavior and rejected for their over sized IQs, sitcom nerds have it pretty rough sometimes. Their foibles can often yield some of the best laughs in a series and bring a touch of vulnerability to a shows cast. Here are eight pocket protector carrying nerds from today and yesterday who brought the funny.

8 Willy Gilligan
The iconic red shirted klutz played by Bob Denver was responsible for shipwrecking the S.S. Minnow in the 1960s sitcom Gilligan’s Island. That right there is grounds for being offered as human sacrifice to any island savages. Unlike most of the other nerds on the list, Gilligan is not known for being brainy and often thwarts any attempts to get off the island throughout the series. Given the choice of voting anyone off the island — Gilligan, you’re out. Mary Ann can stay in my hut.

7 Dwight Schrute
Dwight, of NBC’s The Office is a nerd who longs to be a badass. He possesses a vast, if not somewhat questionable knowledge of bears, martial arts and survival skills. He’s an effective salesperson and his lack of humor and hunger for authority often make him the butt of office pranks at the hand of rival Jim Halpert and secretary Pam. Although, he scores one for all nerd-kind and actually bags the second hottest girl in the office, Angela, only to lose her then get her back again. “Women are like wolves. If you want one you must trap it. Snare it. Tame it. Feed it.”

6 Warren “Potsie” Weber
Known for not being socially clumsy, a poor athlete and not the brightest bulb, Potsie was definitely the “square” in the Happy Days gang. Close friend of somewhat cooler, Richie Cunningham, Potsie was one of the few characters to make it through the show’s entire run. His attempts at crooning to impress the ladies at teen hangout Arnold’s, were often met with good-natured ridicule from his peers. Don’t sweat it, Pots. If the ladies don’t appreciate a good Perry Como song, the Fonz still loves ya!

5 Carlton Banks
Carlton played Will Smith’s annoying cousin for six seasons on the ’90s sitcom The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. The guy was the epitome of a rich, arrogant, preppy nerd. Nobody wore a sweater vest and plaid shorts better than Princeton hope-full, young Republican Carlton. His short stature and naivety provided for some of Will Smith’s best jokes in the series. Carlton was an expert at “cock-blocking” himself by busting out his signature “Carlton dance” to the tune of “It’s Not Unusual” at any social event.

4 Samuel “Screech” Powers
Actor Dustin Diamond milked the character of “Screech” for every penny possible, appearing in four different versions of Saved by the Bell. Awkward, skinny, and horrible with girls, yet somehow Screech still gets to hang out with the cool kids. Sitcom nerds never have much luck with the ladies and Screech was no exception. Constantly pursuing the only black girl in the school, “Lisa Turtle” he was rejected time and time again. Today, actor Dustin Diamond seems to be trying his hardest to shed his “nerdy” image, appearing in celebrity boxing matches, releasing a sex tape and tell all book.

3 Sheldon Cooper
Top honors for the brainiest nerd on the list go to The Big Bang Theory’s Sheldon Cooper. A child prodigy with a master’s degree in physics, two Ph. D.s and an IQ off the charts. But while Sheldon maybe be putting other nerds to shame in the smarts department he completely lacks any sense of humor or humility. He’s got a bad case of obsessive compulsive disorder and isn’t too good at giving hugs — even to hottie neighbor Penny. In a nutshell, the guy is straight up weird, thus making him a perfect fit for the show’s cast.

2 Milhouse Van Houten
The Simpsons cast is full of some great nerds, Professor Frink, Comic Book Guy, and Martin Prince. But this is my article and I like Milhouse the best. Named after President Richard Milhous Nixon, why Bart chose Milhouse for a best friend is anybody’s guess. Smooth with the ladies he is not, and he constantly fantasizes about a relationship with crush, Lisa Simpson. He’s the only character in Springfield with eyebrows and was once the proud owner of Bart Simpson’s soul. “I traded your soul for Alf pogs. Remember Alf? He’s back. In pog form.”

1 Steve Urkel
Probably no other character in TV history embodied the nerd stereotype more than Urkel on ABC’s Family Matters. Thick glasses, high-water pants, nasal laugh and bumbling klutz — Steve Urkel was born with a wedgie. Originally, penned as a single episode character, he became extremely popular and terrorized the Winslow family for nine seasons. A love for cheese and Laura Winslow, the popularity of his nerdy character spawned several spin-off characters. The equally nerdy cousin, Myrtle Urkel and slick alter ego Stefan Urquelle were both played by Jaleel White. Famous quote: “Did I do that?”

Jane Lynch: I was addicted to cough syrup
“The fact that NyQuil had alcohol in it was not something I acknowledged at all. I still considered myself on the wagon.”

Denise Richards turns down Men – she has “Charlie” issues
“Denise Richards has turned down an offer to appear on the premiere episode of Two and a Half Men, because she thinks Charlie Sheen would make her life miserable.”

Megan Fox: Why I’m removing my Marilyn Monroe Tattoo
“She was a negative person, she was disturbed, bipolar. I do not want to attract this kind of negative energy in my life.”

Kim Kardashian porn tape site erupts during wedding weekend
“…roughly 2 million people visited KimKsuperstar.com between Friday and Sunday night … a huge boost from the average weekend traffic.”

Amy Winehouse: No illegal drugs in system at death
“Results indicate that alcohol was present but it cannot be determined as yet if it played a role in her death…”

Mad Men kid star: “Be careful around January Jones”
“She’s really serious about what she does. Everyone else is so nice.”

Lady Gaga to guest star on The Simpsons
“I play a little bit of a slut. The apple doesn’t fall far from my artistic tree.”

Jennifer Garner, Ben Affleck expecting third baby
“This was her plan all along.”

Girls Gone Wild Creator Joe Francis Surrenders To Cops, Out On $50K Bail
“Francis was reportedly named on a warrant citing misdemeanor false imprisonment…”

Roger Ebert’s Life Itself: A Memoir will be released on September 13th, 2011
“The book tells the story of Ebert’s life, and his rise and journeys as the most popular film critic in cinema history.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Miggs’ new music video for their song “Let The Games Begin” starring Lindsay Lohan.

When Marty McFly and Doc Brown predicted the future a few years ago, no one ever imagined a scientist wearing a video coat that would let the world (or, at least, the people around said scientist) watch The Simpsons.

That’s probably because we were all too busy waiting on a hoverboard.

But the video coat is here and it’s real.

And it’s more or less completely useless too! No, but seriously, it’s made out of circuit boards and LED flex boards and is hot-glued to a coat (per Gizmodo). Also, it just lasts an hour.

Although I suppose at some point, Sports Illustrated will buy one of these and start putting swimsuit models inside it so we can watch the Simpsons while we’re staring at half-naked women in a magazine.

Yeah, that makes about as much sense as this does.

Watch The Simpsons on This LED Video Coat – [Gizmodo]

Since we crank out so many stories each week some really good ones get lost in the cracks. And since so many new people visit Guyism every day (thank you), we thought we’d start taking some time on the weekends to share some classics that many of our newer readers may have missed.

Not a lot of explanation needed here. These ten TV moms make tuning into the boob tube just that much more enjoyable. Most of us weren’t fortunate enough to have friend’s growing up with moms that could have posed for Maxim magazine in between tee-ball games and Cub Scout trips. In a perfect world, every guy would have a friend with a “MILF” as sexy as these women of the small screen.

10 Peg Bundy – Married with Children
Peg Bundy looks like a woman you’d find at Costco buying hair spray in bulk only to completely neglect buying any food for her family. But there was something about that mountain of red hair and those spandex pants that was attractive… in a flea market kind of way. Peg was lazy, selfish and seemed to be disinterested in anything Al or her kids had to say. Which is exactly why you’d probably have a chance with her, she was just waiting for somebody to unleash her wild side.

9 Angie Lopez – George Lopez
Oh, George Lopez, you crazy Chicano, how do you ever put up with your alcoholic mother and condescending father- in-law? Oh, that’s right you’re married to a hot wife who makes living with two kids and annoying parents at arm’s length bearable. Angie kept the blood pressure of male viewers rising to the tune of “Low Rider” for six seasons on George Lopez.

8 Marge Simpson – The Simpsons
There aren’t a lot of cartoon mom’s out there: Wilma Flintstone, Betty Rubble, Peggy Hill, and Lois Griffin. But Marge is in a field all her own. She’s patient, responsible and slightly neurotic with a bit of a gambling problem. She may look like the typical Springfield housewife, but there’s a reason Homer J remains loyal and true. She’s known for getting down in public places and rocks the blue hair like nobody else.

7 Nancy Botwin – Weeds
Without a doubt the sexiest drug dealing soccer mom in suburbia. Widowed Nancy hasn’t had much luck with men over the past five seasons. A corrupt politician who tried to kill her and a D.E.A. agent husband who was murdered, Nancy definitely comes with a bit more baggage than your average single mom. Don’t think courting her is going to be a bed of roses, the woman creates drama and lives in a world that’s about to unravel at any second. On the plus side, you’ve always got a good hookup.

6/5 Gloria Delgado and Claire Dunphy – Modern Family
Claire and Gloria are pretty new to TV land but certainly make Modern Family enjoyable to watch. Claire is a bit anal retentive and very athletic which translates to an animal in the bedroom, who will tell you to take off your shoes before entering the house, then promptly rip off your clothes and give you a workout. And how lucky can Ed O’Neill be, to be in his 60′s and with possibly the hottest woman on a sitcom right now? She’s got to be the second most popular export to come out of Columbia.

4 Samantha Stephens – Bewitched
It’s been forty years since Samantha made witchcraft sexy on Bewitched, but she’s still reason enough to tune into Nick at Nite. She was constantly making Darrin’s life miserable with her magic spells and evil mother dropping in, but would always save the day in the end. “What?! Darren’s boss is coming to dinner and the roast isn’t even cooked, oh whatever shall I do…?” Wiggle, wiggle. Elizabeth Montgomery’s flirtatious nose wiggle was irresistible and made her the hottest black magic mom in primetime.

3/2 Sheila Keefe and Janet Gavin – Rescue Me
If you looked up the term “crazy bitch” in the dictionary you’d see pictures of Janet and Sheila… taking pills… and trying to strangle each other. It’s easy to argue that Tommy Gavin drinks because of 9-11 or losing his son, but there’s no doubt that these two women are a factor. The psycho gene only adds to their bad girl sex appeal. Should you be lucky enough to go home with one of these MILFs make sure you locate the closest exit, should you wake up in a drug haze in the middle of a blazing inferno.

1 Becky Katsopolis – Full House
The lyrics “I wish that I had Jesse’s girl” never rang so true. Becky was the only reason to tune into to Full House and put up with the rest of the obnoxious cast. Becky was the hottest mom on TGIF and stole the hearts of millions of pre-pubescent teenage boys for eight seasons while shacking up with that two-bit jingle writer, Uncle Jesse. Tune into the revamped 90210 to catch Lori Loughlin in full fledged cougar form still making the men say, “have mercy.” Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

While it may be a bit awkward to discuss among real friends, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that special bond most of us share between our best friends. Turn on the TV these days, and you’ll see plenty of guy love out there. Keep reading to review a few of our favorite bromances in TV history.

12 Lenny and Carl – The Simpsons
Lenny and Carl are so similar, Homer has been known to give himself crib notes by writing “Lenny = White, Carl = Black” on his hand. While there is the occasional hint that the two are actually romantically involved, it’s probably fair to say that the two are just really, really good friends. I mean, they did double-date each other’s sisters, after all.

11 Kirk and Spock – Star Trek
If you’re heading on a journey to “boldly go where no man has gone before,” well then you better bring a few bros who got your back. Though Captain Kirk and Spock couldn’t have been more different (one highly logical, the other incredibly impulsive), the two shared a common respect that budded into an extremely deep friendship.

10 Jamie and Adam – Mythbusters
Are these two quirky dudes actually friends in real life? Myth confirmed! These two special effects wizards have been pallin’ around on the Discovery Channel for a full ten seasons. There friendship has endured dozens of explosions, more than a few heated arguments, and even the occasional loss of their other best friend – Buster.

9 Gus and Shawn – Psych
Here’s another odd couple that proves opposites often attract. Best friends since childhood, Shawn is the risk-taking type, while Gus prefers to play things a little more reserved. Despite this personality difference, you couldn’t tear these two apart if your life depended on it.

8 Fry and Bender – Futurama
The long-held belief that robots can’t experience love is proven wrong with the relationship between Bender and Fry. Though Bender is a foul-mouthed, drunken party-bot, it’s clear he has a soft spot for Fry. And as for Fry, well, he’d be happy to share his Bachelor Chow with his old buddy if ever it was necessary.

7 Tim and Eric – Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!
It’s a good thing Tim Hiedecker and Eric Wareheim met in college -– because these two weirdos are clearly soul mates. There demented hilarity has resulted in a number of comedic gems over the years, and despite the long hours of work they seem poised to continue their friendship long into the future.

6 Joey and Chandler – Friends
These two Friends were a match made in heaven. Seriously, you’ve got to really love your friend to put up with him attempting to eat everything in fridge. Or, putting on every article of clothing you own because it’s the exact opposite of hiding a pair of his underwear. Even when Chandler got married and moved in with Monica, these two bros remained close as hell.

5 Jerry and George – Seinfeld
Remember when George ended up dating a girl that looked and acted a heck of a lot like Jerry? Yeah, well that pretty much sums up the fact that these two guys are perfect for each other. While both are fairly callous to the outside world, there’s something about discussing the minutae of daily life that made them completely fall in love with each other.

4 Brian and Stewie – Family Guy
The two littlest members of the Griffin family couldn’t be more different, but that doesn’t stop them from getting along. While they’ve had their fair share of arguments (“Where’s my money, man?!”), the two have also gone on epic adventures to the North Pole and WWII Germany. And while there’s always plenty of insults coming from both sides of the table, what man friendship would be complete without a little razzing?

3 Bret and Jemaine – Flight of the Conchords
Band manager Murray once made a friend chart to show Bret and Jemaine where they stood as friends. While the duo may have just been “work mates” with Murray, the friendship between Bret and Jemaine would have been off the charts. They live together, work together and sometimes even date the same woman… it doesn’t get more bro-tastic than that.

2 J.D. and Turk – Scrubs
With affectionate pet names like “brown bear” and “vanilla bear,” J.D. and Turk teeter awfully close to the edge of a full-fledged romantic relationship without actually straying from the straight and narrow path. And no matter how silly one of the guy’s ideas is (“I’m the tallest doctor in the world!”), the other one is there to go along with it no matter what.

1 Troy and Abed – Community
At the moment, Troy and Abed are the bromance kings of current television. The two may be a part of a larger study group, but it’s clear that these two will be hanging out long after college. The closing bromance segments of each episode that feature the two have become one of the funniest parts of an exceptionally funny sitcom. Whatever comes their way, one thing is clear: these two will protect their friendship at all costs.

Since we crank out so many stories each week some really good ones get lost in the cracks. And since so many new people visit Guyism every day (thank you), we thought we’d start taking some time on the weekends to share some classics that many of our newer readers may have missed.

Over the years (er, decades), The Simpsons have welcomed a staggering amount of guest celebrities to the town of Springfield. So much so, in fact, that the show currently holds the record for most celebrity guest appearances for a sitcom of all time. Not all of these celebrities are your run-of-the-mill movie star or musician, however. For all you nerds out there, here are your ten biggest heroes to ever appear on The Simpsons.

11 Mark Hamill
Star Wars is perhaps the most nerd-friendly blockbuster movie of all time. Forever remembered as the lead character, Luke Skywalker, it’s safe to say Mark Hamill has his fair share of nerd fans. Hamill appeared in a 10th-season episode of Simpsons. During the episode, he greets fans at a sci-fi convention, performs in an awful rendition of Guys and Dolls and gets saved “Bodyuard-style” by Homer.

Memorable quote You know, “I’m here today as Luke Skywalker, but I’m also here…to talk about Sprint.”

10 Michael Chabon
Michael Chabon appeared in a bookworm-friendly episode of The Simpsons along with fellow authors Jonathan Franzen, Gore Vidal and Tom Wolfe. In the episode, Moe becomes an idiot-savant poet of sorts and gets invited to the Wordloaf Literary Conference. Chabon is one of the many authors he meets at this fictional conference.

Michael Chabon: You can’t make this stuff up.

Jonathan Franzen: Maybe you can’t.

Michael Chabon: That’s it, Franzen! I think your nose needs some corrections!

9 Gary Larson
The Far Side is one of the most cherished comic strips of all time. Its author, Gary Larson, made an appearance on The Simpsons earlier this year. In the episode, Homer, Lenny and Carl are being courted by a rival nuclear power plant in Capital City. During a tour of the rival plant, the owner (Gator McCall) shows the trio all the nice perks of working for Capital City. Among these perks, is an in-house Gary Larson who draws custom Far Side cartoons just for the plant employees.

8 J.K. Rowling
The Harry Potter book series has captured the hearts and minds of nerds everywhere. During a trip to London in the 15th season, The Simpsons encounter a number of British celebrities. Among them, is Harry Potter creator J.K. Rowling. Lisa meets the female author outside of a London bookstore. When Lisa asks, “Can you tell me what happens at the end of the series,” Rowling responds: “He grows up and marries you. Is that what you want to hear?”

7 Stephen Jay Gould
As both a celebrated evolutionary biologist and author, Stephen Jay Gould is one of the biggest nerd heroes in the world. Given his status as a scientist, it’s fitting that the Simpsons would encounter him in an episode that finds the city of Springfield uncovering a supposed statue of a fallen angel. Ever the skeptic, Lisa brings a fragment of the statue to Gould for him to analyze.

6 Dudley R. Herschbach
It’s pretty safe to say that few other sitcoms on the planet would seek out a Nobel Prize winner as a celebrity guest star. However, Dudley R. Herschbach is a Harvard chemist who has worked with both “crossed molecular beams” and the writers of The Simpsons. During one of the Treehouse of Horror specials, Hershbach is seen presenting the Nobel Prize in Physics to Professor Frink (alongside Jennifer Garner):

Jennifer Garner: You know Doctor Hershbach, our jobs are actually not that different.

Doctor Hershbach: I disagree.

5 Matt Groening
Big surprise that creator of The Simpsons would eventually appear on the show himself. However, just because Groening is a no-brainer celebrity guest star, that makes him no less of a hero to the nerd community. When it comes to nerdy conversation, The Simpsons is one of the most-quoted television shows of all time. Groening is credited as appearing in two episodes, one in which Skinner and Krabapple get married and another in which Homer is cast as a superhero.

4 Leonard Nimoy
Leonard Nimoy has also appeared in two episodes. In the first, Star Trek’s favorite half-Vulcan comes out to help Springfield witness the maiden voyage of their newly built monorail. In the eighth season, he returns as the host of The Springfield Files, an episode that features three short sci-fi related stories.

Memorable quote: “Hello. I’m Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true, I mean false. It’s all lies. But they’re entertaining lies. And in the end, isn’t that the real truth? The answer is: No.”

3 Alan Moore
Alan Moore appears along fellow graphic novel heroes Art Spiegelman and Daniel Clowes in an episode that finds Bart and Lisa visiting a hip new comic book store in town called Coolsville. During a book signing, the creator of the Watchmen, V. for Vendetta and countless other graphic novel chastises Milhouse for asking him to sign a copy of Watchmen Babies in V for Vacation and soothes himself by reading Little Lulu.

Bart Simpson: Alan Moore! You wrote my favorite issues of Radioactive Man!

Alan Moore: Oh really? So you like that I made your favorite superhero a heroin-addicted jazz critic who’s not radioactive?

2 Stan Lee
Stan Lee is probably the best-known name in the comic book industry. As the creator of Spiderman, Iron Man, the Fantastic Four and countless other elite superheroes, he is one of the most respected men in the nerd community. Stan Lee appeared in another comic book centric episode that had Bart drawing a comic called Angry Dad.

1 Stephen Hawking
When it comes to the nerd community, it doesn’t get any more famous than Stephen Hawking. As a world-renowned astrophysicist, the wheelchair-bound genius is one of the smartest men of our generation. As proof that this deep thinker also has a sense of humor, he’s also appeared on three different episodes of The Simpsons.

Since we crank out so many stories each week some really good ones get lost in the cracks. And since so many new people visit Guyism every day (thank you), we thought we’d start taking some time on the weekends to share some classics that many of our newer readers may have missed.

Way back in 2001, Homer Simpson’s most popular catchphrase – Doh! – successfully transcended beyond the status of pop culture catchphrase and entered the pantheon of legitimate English word. This momentous occasion was the direct result of the Oxford English Dictionary deciding to include the word in their 2001 edition.

However, doh is just one of many Simpsons neologisms (fake words) that have entered into both American and British mainstream vocabulary. Looking back over the years, one could argue that a number of these fake words also deserve the prestige of sitting alongside “doh” as a proper term in the American lexicon. And if any of those eggheads at Oxford are reading this article, I would like to suggest the following ten words for inclusion in their next dictionary edition.

10 Yoink
Yoink: An exclamation that, when uttered in conjunction with taking an object, immediately transfers ownership from the original owner to the person using the word regardless of previous property rights. (urbandictionary.com)

Yoink is a word that makes stealing even more fun. While this phrase first appeared in a 1960s episode of The Flinstones, The Simpsons did much to bring it into popular use. In the town of Springfield, the phrase is first uttered by Homer in a fourth season episode as he snatches a wad of cash out of Marge’s hands. The word has also been used by Snake while purse-snatching, Mr. Burns while swiping a $1,000 bill from Bart and an anonymous person stealing Lenny’s diamond tooth.

9 Diddly
Diddly: a filled pause, a non-word which a speaker uses to take up time or space in a sentence, and which are sometimes used for emphasis (http://www.exampleproblems.com/wiki/index.php/List_of_neologisms_on_The_Simpsons)

If “uh” and “um” have a home in the dictionary, then so too does Ned’s favorite non-word. Whether used to add alliteration, replace a swear word or simply as nonsense, few words are as versatile and effective as diddly. One of my favorite diddly quotes: “Son of a diddly!”

8 Glayvin
Glayvin: a nonsensical word used to describe any emotion from surprise to joy to sadness (urbandictionary.com)

Great glayvin in a bag, is this a good word. Glayvin is yet another catchphrase that has earned a considerable amount of steam in the real world. Professor Frink’s most popular utterance is a catch-all term that can be used in almost as many scenarios as “diddly.” The term likely originates form Jerry Lewis’ legendary catchphrase “froyndleyven.” Frink’s character traits are clearly inspired by Lewis.

7 Meh
Meh: Indifference; to be used when one simply does not care. (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=meh)

I’d wager a guess and say that “meh” is used in common conversation way more often than “doh.” The word was first muttered in tandem by both Bart and Lisa when Homer asks if they want to go to Blockoland – a Legoland rip-off amusement park. Meh has reached such popularity, that self-described “minor celebrity” John Hodgman has publicly denounced its use. I, on the other hand, find great merit in the word – and apparently so too does the Collins English Dictionary. This British publication added “meh” to their dictionary in 2008 (so stop dragging your heels, America).

6 Kwyjibo
Kwyjibo: A big, dumb, balding North American ape with no chin and a short temper.

In an early episode, Bart lays down all his tiles in a game of Scrabble to spell “kwyjibo.” The definition above comes straight from Bart’s mouth (with addendum from Marge), and is a thinly veiled description of Homer. Granted, I suppose the validity of the word suffers a bit from the fact that kwyjibos as a species don’t actually exist, which is why I implore nature biologists everywhere to force “kwyjibo” into popular acceptance by bestowing the name upon the next long-lost ape species we discover.

5 Car Hole
Car Hole: a covered place to park your car; synonym for garage

If you want to refer to your garage without sounding like a snobby Frenchman, then this is the perfect word for you. Moe Szyslak coins this phrase during a game of poker after ridiculing Homer for his fancy-shmancy usage of the word “garage.” The fact that Homer immediately discards his previous nomenclature by using the phrase “car hole” in the very next scene should be testament to the supreme accessibility and usefulness of this perfectly simple and descriptive term.

4 Frogurt
Frogurt: a portmanteau for “frozen yogurt”

Looking back, I’m surprised that The Simpsons were the first to use this term, as it seems like such a natural way to shorten “frozen yogurt” – a term I think we all can agree is way too long and clunky. The delicious word made its debut in a Treehouse of Horror episode in which Homer visits an evil gift shop. Apparently the Frogurt is cursed (that’s bad), but it also comes with a free topping (that’s good).

3 Craptacular
Craptacular: of exceptionally poor quality; spectacularly crappy

Along with frogurt, craptacular is one of the more accessible portmanteaus crafted by the writers of the Simpsons. Bart uses the word to describe Homer’s Christmas lights display during a Christmas episode. Certainly, there are plenty of instances in the real world where the term “crappy” just isn’t strong enough to effectively portray the sheer terribleness of a particular person, place or thing. For those instances, craptacular is here to help.

2 Unpossible
Unpossible: not possible; synonym of impossible

“Me fail English? That’s unpossible!” When Ralph Wiggum blurted out this silly little phrase in the sixth season of the Simpsons, it instantly became one of the most quoted lines of the series. Taken out of context, the term is generally meant ironically, which some may argue gives it less credibility. However, if you think the word is one that would only be used genuinely by uneducated morons, let me just point out that “unpossible” has been used by none other than William Shakespeare. The word appears in his play, Richard II.

1 Embiggen
Embiggen: To make bigger or grow in size; a perfectly cromulent word

This graceful word can be attributed to town founder Jebediah Springfield. As the town motto goes, “A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man.” The word is used repeatedly throughout the 7th season episode in which all of Springfield comes down with a major case of Jebeditis (another excellent candidate for this list) during the town’s bicentennial celebration. Adding credibility to the word is the fact that it has appeared in numerous scientific publications since the episode aired.

Simpsons fans can’t think of “embiggen” without thinking of the other fake word used to describe it: cromulent. Clearly, this word should be included on this list as well – if it weren’t for the fact that the Webster’s American dictionary added it to their “New Millenium” edition a few years ago. The official definition: fine, acceptable.

Bonus words:

The above words are probably the most credible options for inclusion in the American dictionary. Some bonus words that almost made the cut are listed below. See if you remember them.

Jeebus

Blurst

Debigulator/rebigulator

Foilage

Saxomophone

Tramampaline

Avoison

Chocotastic

Groin-Grabbingly

Sacrilicious

Science Pole

Squishee