Via Kotaku comes a rather neat looking, albeit non-functional mishmash. Though considering how old the underlining tech is, I’m willing to bet that it wouldn’t take to actually make the following operable…

But hey, the fact that it’s actually transformable is fairly impressive in its own right…

You can see more pics at the creator’s Tumblr. He also explains why it’s based more upon Megatron than Shockwave, though it mostly looks like Starscream to me. Mind you, I’m talking about the old school, 80s designs, not that pile of CGI rubbish that passes itself off as Transformers these days. But which kids are eating up, alas.

And finally, the aforementioned custom made horny Dr Mario figure that was making the rounds not too long ago…

First, here’s an ever so slightly extended look at Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance (God I love that tagline). There’s a tad bit more of the confrontation with the Metal Gear Ray, plus an extra bit of comedy at the very end…

So here’s the deal: not a lot of people are looking forward to this game. In fact, many think it looks like utter garbage. Are they nuts? Yup. Their main point of contention is how it doesn’t look like your usual Metal Gear experience, and that’s true. As in, there’s no sneaking around.

As it’s been disclosed in the past few days, the game that was announced last year had been in developmental limbo for a while, and was quietly cancelled. But when someone from Platinum stopped by the office asked how things were going, and heard the news, they offered to take over.

So naturally it’s going to be different, it’s in other people’s hands. Ones who know a thing or two about wanton action; Platinum’s pedigree include Devil May Cry, Baytonetta, Vanquish, plus plenty of other, fast paced, button mashing greats. Also, a more traditional experience is on the way, via the just confirmed Metal Gear Solid 5, so everyone should just chill.

Next is another look at the new Transformers: Fall of Cybertron trailer, this time a behind the scenes look. As noted above, I used to be a big fan of the franchise, but no longer, at this point can only get my rocks off my pointing and laughing…

You know, I TOTALLY respect people who are super into their work, and no doubt that much effort was put into the trailer, along with the rest of the game, but a part of me still can’t help but both chuckle and roll my eyes. I mean, Jesus, it’s an overly dramatic, emotionally gut wrenching teaser for a Transformer game for God’s sake.

And like Kotaku, I also think it looks like the president of the company making the game is almost in tears, talking about the emotional moment between Prime and Bumblebee. Granted, I cried when Optimus died in the original movie. I was also 7 at the time.

By the way, is there some unwritten law that I’m unaware of that states that no one doing a TF game can use the original, vastly superior character design? Cuz the bots just look ridiculous. Not as bad as the Michael Bay designs, but that’s hardly a compliment or achievement.

BTW, the reaction among gamers is perhaps not what they folks behind the clip were expecting, who sense the stink of Dead Island, with the overdramatic, totally out of left field, sappy song. Which is a valid response.

As for the game itself, it was on-hand at the New York Comic Con I believe, but I didn’t bother checking it out; the line was too damn long. And those that had bothered all said the same thing: I’d be better off waiting in line for the way overpriced hot dogs at the convention center.

First things first, my personal favorite trailer of the entire affair, and the biggest revelation of the entire affair was how Metal Gear Solid: Rising had a rebirth of sorts. Apparently, the MGS spin-off that was announced last year had been in developmental limbo for a long while, until Platinum Games, who has a pedigree in creating the kind of balls out action titles that Kojima Production had been struggle to assemble themselves, asked to take over.

And the results speak for themselves; it’s been renamed Metal Gear Rising is brings together the concepts of revenge, and vengeance, to form the best Engrish in recent memory: REVENGEANCE!

The other big debut was Sony’s The Last Of Us. Remember my prediction that it would be some super pretentious title from the makers of Heavy Rain? Well, I could not have been any wrong; it’s from the same folks who gave us Uncharted and therefore should be a really good game…

So for years folks have been begging for an HD version of the original Tony Hawk Pro Skater. And finally, people are getting what they’ve wanted, with Tony Hawk Pro Skater HD. The top YouTube comment sorta says it all: “the tony hawk series finally found a way to redeem itself…by being itself”…

So that new BioWare game ended up being a new Command and Conquer thing after-all. Command and Conquer Generals 2 to be exact. It’s really not my cup of tea, never been a strategy fan myself. But the idea of such a game, with ultra detailed graphics, has gotten fans of the genre to literally soil themselves, so mission accomplished!

Meanwhile, Mass Effect 3 also plays around with epic battles, and sense of scale. But it’s about skirmishes in out space and aliens, which is more up my alley…

And speaking of giant, robotic spiders, I thought the new Amazing Spider-Man game would feature his classic foes? Mysterios could still show up later on, perhaps. Still hate the new costume with a passion, though…

There’s literally 200 things that are so hilariously retarded about this first look at Transformers: Fall of Cybertron. Used to be such a big TF fan back in the day; now I wish it hadn’t existed…

… And that’s it for now. I’ll be back later this morning with the second helping!

First we have an ad for the last Need For Speed from the guy best known for ruining Transformers for us 30 years olds…

The thing is, all Bay did was edit the thing. I’m pretty sure all these story cinematics are the product of someone else. Unless Bay is far more involved that initially believed. So in the end, we just have a game that tries to be all Michael Bay that now has a commercial that the man himself pieced together.

Anyhow, next, is an advertisement for the next Call of Duty starring Sam Worthington, the aforementioned milquetoast lead from Avatar, Jonah Hill, best known for Superbad and star of the upcoming 21 Jump Street reboot (whut), plus Orlando Magic b-baller Dwight Howard…

Modern Warfare 3 comes out this Tuesday, and The Run the one after that.

First you had the latest installment of Final Fantasy XIII, titled XIII-2. Not to be mistaken for Final Fantasy Versus XIII. Confusing, I know, but not nearly as much as the following trailer. Basically, as those who played through the first game knows already (and my best guess is that 95% of the Guyism audience are HARDCORE Final Fantasy fans), the game’s lead was successful in saving the world, but also caused some kind of time paradox, so Lighting basically never existed in the end. How her efforts could possibly still occur is beyond me, but the bottom-line is how her sis has to figure a way to re-write history yet again, who thus serves as the lead in the new game (plus some dude in an alternate timeline in which the missing sibling somehow ended up in)…

Speaking of role playing games, you also had the latest from BioWare, and their grand return to the Star Wars franchise, The Old Republic. Some might recall their first foray into the world that Lucas built (and has been slowly destroying in recent years) as the best thing to happen to the franchise in ages (again, they blew away the prequels like nothing else). But given BioWare’s output as of late, I’m not nearly as optimistic as I once would have been. Still, it looks neat (and both the character and universe design are much better than the aforementioned crap movies)…

A Transformers MMO was also unveiled, though no trailer has been revealed as of yet (and my insider sources tell me that game looks like completely rubbish, so the powers that be might be wisely gun-shy at this point). At the very least they had a teaser for the new action romp, Transformers: Fall of Cybertron, which is the sequel to the not so bad War for Cybertron. It’s you run of the mill follow up, but hey, Grimlock’s in it!

Next is the trailer for the new Spidey game, based upon the upcoming flick, The Amazing Spider-Man. Which also hasn’t been released officially, but at least it exists, which some NYCC attendee managed to film in secrecy. According to a report by Joystiq, the game has actually been in the works for the past 4 years, even before the last two Spidey releases, Shattered Dimensions and Edge of Time (the latter of which just came out). It was also noted that yet another Spider-Man game was being worked on the fourth flick to be produced by Sam Raimi, but when that movie got cancelled, so did was the tie-in game. Which one would assume was the basis for this new one, since the timing is just right, but that’s apparently not the case (it was being made by a separate studio)…

Speaking of super heroes, we have Batman: Arkham City. Not sure what needs to be said here; it’s the follow-up to the game starring the caped crusader that came out of literally nowhere to become the gold standard in which all comic book based games are to be judged upon. Though it hasn’t been without controversy; as I’ll explain in a bit, instead of forcing poor ass gamers to pay an extra $10 bucks to play some multiplayer mode, this game is withholding an entire character, i.e. Catwoman. Quite the dirty deed Warner Bros…

Perhaps the hottest title of the entire show was Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3. I remember everyone getting all upset over it being a stand-alone title and not an update for the first edition (myself included), but now that details are starting to become clear, the extra $$$ for the scant few new characters is starting to become somewhat justified. For perhaps Phoenix Wright alone, who to be honest is so awesome that it makes all the others lame in comparison. For the nitty gritty, please refer to Seth Killian, Capcom’s ace fighting game spokesperson, and his detailed explanation for Kotaku, but long-story short: as you fight and build up that super meter, you’re also looking for clues. Hence why in his most devastating super, your foe goes on trail, which is demonstrated at the end of this clip (which also includes a heavy dose of fellow newbie, Nova, looking mighty awesome as well)…

Justin Timberlake considering MySpace talent competition
“…the singer-turned-actor has got plenty of ideas about how to get MySpace back on track as a destination for music fans…”

Why Casey Anthony was acquitted
“…perhaps the key distinction is this: Where the prosecution sought to provide answers, the defense aimed to raise questions.”

Paris Hilton stalker arrested, accused of violating restraining order
“Someone recognized him as being the man who had given her trouble in the past, and the cops arrived pretty quickly…”

Jennifer Aniston: Horrible Bosses topless scenes are just “good rumors”
“Where do these things start?”

Arnold Schwarzenegger to give Maria Shriver “generous settlement”
“The Terminator is worth roughly around $500-750 million dollars…”

Nicki Minaj: My cousin was murdered
“27-year-old Nicholas Telemaque was killed around 2:40 AM on July 4 from ‘multiple gunshot wounds to the upper torso.’”

Ryan Reynolds, Scarlett Johansson’s divorce finalized
“Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson have officially moved on.”

Katt Williams’ bodyguard kills dog in bizarre attack
“…one of Katt’s bodyguards was bitten by a German shepherd — prompting the bodyguard to open fire twice … killing the dog.”

Playmate’s Mom: My daughter is NOT banging Hef!
“Lena Griffin … tells us her daughter has NEVER been Hef’s girlfriend — adding, ‘the rumors that they are dating were just for publicity.’”

Transformers sequel sets box-office record
“Summer sequel mania was in full swing over the Independence Day holiday as the latest Transformers movie took in an estimated $97.5 million.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
New trailer for the upcoming movie The Three Musketeers.

JarJar Binks may have left an indelible bad taste in the mouths of many when it comes to the topic of CGI characters in movies. However, the truth is there have been plenty of great computer-animated characters to grace the big screen over the years. Below are 10 of the best and most important CGI characters of all time.

10 T-1000 – Terminator 2: Judgment Day
While the T-1000 was not a completely computer-generated character, the special effects used to enhance the character are easily the most memorable part of Robert Patrick’s performance. Who can forget the liquidification of his entire body, or the bullet hole ripping through his metallic flesh?

9 Optimus Prime – Transformers
Really, the visual effects of the Autobots are the only reason worth seeing the Transformers films. While the quality of the plot and on-stage performances of the real-life actors may be put into question, there’s no doubt that the shape-shifting Robots in Disguise were pretty freaking bad ass. At the top of the heap, of course, is Mr. Optimus Prime himself.

8 Casper – Casper the Friendly Ghost
Yeah, you may laugh off the Casper film, but the truth of the matter is Casper was the first lead character in a movie to be completely CGI. And unlike other early CGI characters in live-action films, the animators easily integrated him without making him seem out of place. Add in the subtle realism and simplicity of the classic Casper persona, and this is definitely an important moment in CGI history.

7 Neytiri – Avatar
Avatar was the first film to use fully computer-generated 3D graphics to create a photo-realistic world. Whether or not you think the plot is a rip off of FernGully, the realistic portrayal of Neytiri and the rest of the Na’vi is reason enough to see this film.

6 Davy Jones – Pirates of the Caribbean
Thanks to the evolution of computer technology, you’d never know that Bill Nighy is the man behind the tentacles. As one of the more recent examples of the amazing abilities of motion capture, Davy Jones’ claw hand and hideous face look every bit as real as the dreadlocks on Captain Jack Sparrow’s head. Of course, the fact that the character himself boasts all the characteristics of a classic Disney villain, and you’ve got yourself a near-perfect CGI character.

5 WALL-E
It’s amazing how much emotion the Pixar animators are capable of pulling out of this sad bucket of bolts. While any number of Pixar characters could make this list, WALL-E is among the most loveable and well-rounded of them all. Add in the fact that WALL-E has absolutely zero dialogue, and this is truly a triumph of computer character creation.

4 Yoda – Star Wars Episode II and III
Watching the wise and elderly Yoda flip and zip around the room with lightsaber in hand as he kicks Count Dooku’s ass is perhaps the greatest highlight of Star Wars Episode II. While George Lucas previously made do with puppet technology to grant Yoda his realism, the advancements in technology since the original trilogy freed up the character to be much more agile and awesome.

3 The Toy Story Cast
Pixar has made a name for itself by creating incredibly stunning CG movies. This all started in 1995, when the company released their first film – Toy Story. This was the first film ever released that was created completely from CGI. Despite the lack of a precedent, Woody, Buzz Lightyear and the rest of the characters hit a home run right out of the gate. The film is still considered one of the best animated films of all time.

2 T-Rex – Jurassic Park
Way back in 1993, the special effects of Jurassic Park were heralded as a breakthrough in cinema. As the first film to integrate photorealistic CG characters, you’d be hard-pressed to make a more realistic-looking dino with today’s technology. While the entire cast of dino characters was amazing, that hulking, scary-as-hell Tyrannosaurus Rex earns top marks with us here at Guyism.

1 Gollum – Lord of the Rings
Following the failure of JarJar Binks, Gollum single-handedly proved that CGI characters could believably be inserted into live-action films. To create the character Peter Jackson hired then-unknown Andy Serkis for motion capture purposes on set. Then, the visage of Gollum was digitally rendered in post-production. Serkis’ performance was so good, and the animation so great, that the character almost received an Oscar nomination for Best Supporting Actor.

Tracy Morgan apologizes for anti-gay rant
“I’m not a hateful person and don’t condone any kind of violence against others.”

Bret Lockett — I never actually met Kim Kardashian
“Although he maintains to have carried on a ‘physical relationship’ with Kim Kardashian, NFL guy Bret Lockett finally admitted … he has never even met her in person.”

Russell Crowe goes on anti-circumcision rant
“Circumcision is barbaric and stupid. Who are you to correct nature?”

Kanye West romantically linked to Mary Kate Olsen
“The two were said to be making out at the club and they left together.”

Shia LaBeouf: I’m done with Transformers
“I imagine they’ll reboot it at some point with someone else.”

Tired, wet fans angry with the Black Eyed Peas
“What, Will.I.Am can’t play in the rain? Is Fergie’s hair gonna get wet?”

Nicole Scherzinger tries not to read Cheryl Cole, X Factor headlines
“As for the woman she replaced as a judge, she called Cole ‘a lovely, beautiful girl.’”

Khloe Kardashian defends Kim’s shocking prenup
“Do you know what kind of day and age this is? Everybody needs a prenup.”

Ricki Lake sued for starting house fire
“…Kousayan reportedly spoke with emergency responders who claim that on the scene, Lake essentially admitted to causing the blaze.”

Hugh Hefner’s fiancée, Crystal Harris releases debut song
“My dad was a singer in the UK, and I got my pipes from him.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Legendary supermodel Heidi Klum in a new “Body By Milk” commercial.

Even three movies later, I still cannot get over how fugly Bumblebee and company have become. BTW, I only saw the first flick; am still interested in the second, if only cuz Optimus supposedly goes all Gundam Wing, and not only is there a robot uncomfortably based upon a black stereotype, I also hear that there’s a robot uncomfortably based upon an Italian stereotype as well. But anyway, the game at least looks good. I mean REAL good…

… Which, sorry, totally blows. When Transformers were first hot, there were far too few attempts at games, and what did exist were left behind in Japan cuz they totally blew. Like this NES title that stars Ultra Magnus…

… Was about to say it’s not the best example, because the player didn’t die in the first 3 seconds like everyone else does, but he doesn’t go past the first minute with his first life at least. But at least Ultra Magnus looks like Ultra f’n Magnus!

It would be a very time before another take would be attempted, for the PS2 in Japan (yeah, not a single 16-bit version exists, which is such a shame considering the high amount of awesome side-scrolling mech titles, so the platform was certainly sufficient). Here’s that title, which features fully English voiceovers and text; me thinks no one in America wants to touch the stinker, despite not having to do any translation-work…

Fun-fact: the guy doing Optimus’s voice is none other than the guy who plays Alucard in Symphony of the Night! Also, I sorta like: there was a Beast Masters games for the PSone. But seriously, who ever gave a rat’s ass about Beast Masters?

An actually good Transformers perhaps the very first ever, came out for the PS2 here in America, based on the Armada series (which shares a number of qualities with the game above to be honest). Still it was not Generation 1, so I could not have cared less. But at least those designs weren’t as offensive as this Michael Bay nonsense. So yeah, that’s what sucks the most: the games are finally getting good, but it’s starring the bots I know and love. Oh the pains of adulthood.

BEEP! BLOP! BLORP! Hyper-intelligent robots have been showing up on the big screen since pretty much the dawn of film (fact: the first movie to feature a robot was a 1921 silent film named The Mechanical Man). Of all the artificially intelligent movie characters out there, here are 12 of the greatest.

12 Data – Star Trek
Who says robots can’t feel emotion? While initially as unloving and distant as my step-dad, Star Trek’s favorite chief operations officer discovers the horrors of empathy when Dr. Soong eventually implants an emotion chip into him. Whether you liked this upgrade or not, Data’s amazing computational skills and ability to show an outsider’s perspective on humanity helped make him an important character in both the Star Trek show and movies.

11 Bender Bending Rodriguez – Futurama
Yeah, Bender is better known on the small screen, but all those straight-to-DVD Futurama movies help him find his way onto this list. Simply put, there’s no other robot out there that you’d rather party with. When not sucking down a cold brew or stealing your wallet, Bender can also be pretty useful when he wants to be. I mean, if you ever need something bent, you know whom to call…

10 Johnny 5 – Short Circuit
Apparently, all it takes is one little lightning strike to grant self-awareness to an unassuming military robot. Such is the case with one of the silliest robots of all time – Johnny 5. Despite his flaws, this sappy little guy endeared himself to an entire generation of 80s kids.

9 Gort – The Day the Earth Stood Still
When it comes to robots, Gort is the strong silent type. Assembled in outer space by extraterrestrials, this big hunk of metal has the power to disintegrate weapons with his snazzy laser ray. Serving much like a bouncer at a nightclub, his primary objective is to keep humans (a.k.a. the riffraff) from entering his master’s spaceship.

8 The Stepford Wives
In the town of Stepford, Connecticut, every man appears to have the perfect wife. Devoted, loving and exceptionally attractive, this is the type of wife that many a man dreams about. As it turns out, these zombie-like vixens are (spoiler alert!) actually women turned into robots…with the primary objective of serving man.

7 RoboCop
No, RoboCop isn’t all nuts and bolts (there’s still a little Alex Murphy in there), but for all intents and purposes this ultimate police officer is a robot through and through. Due to the sheer badassery of his program design, RoboCop can essentially perform the duties of the entire Detroit police force (and we all know how hard that job can be). Unlike pure robots, Murphy’s memories continue to flash through, helping to humanize this metal-clad cop.

6 The Iron Giant
When you were a kid, did you ever dream of owning your own robot? Unless you’re anti-American, then the answer is, “Yes.” The Iron Giant takes this premise and turns it into a great cartoon movie. With his 50-foot height, awesome steampunk design and ability to shoot destructive missiles, this is one powerful robot that any kid would be lucky to have for a friend.

5 Optimus Prime – Transformers
Whether or not you’re a fan of the new Transformers movies, you can’t deny that Optimus Prime is one epic robot. I mean, it takes a pretty powerful robot to continually take on and defeat the Decepticons evil plans for destruction. To get the job done, he has the ability to shoot projectiles, slice off heads with a retractable blade and an unwavering belief in truth and justice. Oh, and of course he’s also got the ability to transform into a semi truck (bonus!).

4 WALL-E
Lonely old WALL-E is one of the scrappiest robots to ever have been assembled. From his love for Hello Dolly to his love for EVE (and who can blame him – that bitch is HOT), you’d have to be a robot yourself to not love this little dude. Whether you’re five years old or (God forbid) 85 years old, WALL-E is an artificial lifeform that anyone would want to have around.

3 T-800 – Terminator series
Do we really have to go into the details? The T-800 is a supreme cyborg that delivers super strength, has the ability to learn from past experiences and tops it off with an endless number of witty catchphrases. Wrap it all up into a muscle-clad bodybuilder package, and there’s no doubt Model 101 is one of the most badass robots of all time.

2 HAL 9000 – 2001: A Space Odyssey
Anyone who has seen 2001: A Space Odyssey will be forever haunted by that ever-present bright red light that is HAL 9000. Unlike most robots on this list, HAL is more of a methodical and psychologically powerful robot. Unfortunately, his powerful computer brain suffers somewhat of a breakdown, causing him to go on a murderous rampage.

1 R2-D2 – Star Wars
For being nothing more than a run-of-the-mill astromech droid, R2-D2 proves himself time and again to be an incredibly important character in the Star Wars universe. Beyond his ability to cut the tension with a little humor (shout out to similarly awesome C-3PO for the assist), R2 has saved the necks of his sentient friends more than once. From his simple delivery of Leia’s message to his ability to repair starships on the fly, this little guy is one of the most functional and loveable robots in film history.

What you’ve just witnessed/are currently watching/are wishing you had never seen is something that’s pretty popular in Japan right now, which are “games” that allow you to gawk at polygonal chicks that J-pop and look all super kawaii (that’s Japanese for cute, for those who aren’t multiculturally enlightened). The game part is how you get to play the part of manager, which mostly includes making sure their outfits are just right.

Certain iterations allow one to tinker with the virtual actresses, with what you see above being just one example. Something related, and quite red hot popular in Japan to be precise, are Vocaloids. Imagine auto-tune software, but with a lovable anime chick part of the package (of course). Anyhow, best random YouTube comment?

“First, I found the video on anotherÿ site, an asian girl made it. Second I like Vocaloid. And third, Since Soundwave is a mechanoid, I really doubt he (or any other Transformer) has a real gender at all. My car or computer doesn’t, why should they? (And no matterÿ what Hasbro says, a machine is a machine.) Besides, what if he can modulate his voice to sound like a woman? His voice is a software.”

Cool story, bro.

“soundwave how did you get so moe?” [Twitter]

As Universal’s “Battleship” steams toward a start date this month, the pricey adaptation of the Hasbro board game is entering deep, treacherous waters. With a budget of $200 million or more and no major movie stars on board, the project is raising eyebrows among industry insiders who question whether this expensive gamble will pay off.

I stood quietly and watched Transformers and GI Joe get the green light from film studios and not quite live up to the lofty expectations I had for them. I worked in the industry, I knew that in the end the movies didn’t matter as much as the money they’d collect off merchandising and so I watched Michael Bay napalm my childhood into oblivion without blinking an eye. I can’t say I was surprised the script was as terrible as it was, but I ended up being impressed by the special effects and told myself that it was what it was: a $200 million dollar movie with talking robots and $100 million worth of explosions. Oh yeah, and Megan Fox.

But I’ve got to say that a movie based off of a game that nobody seemed to like and everyone seemed to cheat at is not a sound business investment. Other than Rihanna, is there anyone in the cast I listed that you’d pay to see? Do you even know who those guys are? Do you really want to spend two hours of your life watching Pearl Harbor on steroids? Independence Day with boats? Look, I’m all for adapting my 80s toys and cartoons into films, but I thought I’d see the Monopoly movie before I saw Battleship made into a feature film.

By far the most significant entry from the relatively new regime of Fogelson and co-chairman Donna Langley, “Battleship” is based on the Hasbro game about naval strategy that’s been around since World War I. Berg has come up with a modern twist: making “Battleship” a movie about an alien invasion at sea. But the grief and financial woe brought about over the years by oceanic epics — think “Waterworld” — is a part of Hollywood history.

When you start comparing upcoming films to Waterworld, you know your ship is taking on too much water. And I know Peter Berg does good work when it comes to directing (he was the Great White Hype after all), but with no name stars, a singer that has never really acted before and a budget over $200 million…

B-5 — You sunk my studio. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200 million.

The $200 million gamble on ‘Battleship’ film [THR]

Here’s Rosie Huntington-Whiteley on the set of the latest installment in the Transformers series and by the looks of things she is giving an Academy Award performance. Huh… I guess Megan Fox can be replaced. Go figure…

Months of bashing must really be getting on Michael Bay’s nerves. The director has taken months of negative criticism by Transformers star Megan Fox and was recently bashed along with Steven Spielberg by actor Shia Labeouf who claimed the director of Transformers was trying to go “too big.” Probably after having a swim in his money pit like Scrooge McDuck, Bay finally dropped the hammer on Fox. And now that he’s back in the business of printing money, he’s got his eye on British actress Gemma Arterton.

Most of you may know her as the Bond girl in Quantum of Solace, but some of you may not know her at all. Gemma is apparently at the top of a very exclusive list of actresses and models on Michael Bay’s “make you a super hot millionaire” list.” She looks to be Fox’s replacement on the next and future installments of the very lucrative Transformers franchise.

I dunno. It’s a tough call between these two. Megan Fox got canned for opening her mouth. Shia LeBouf — you’re officially on notice.

Gemma Arterton May Replace Megan Fox in ‘Transformers 3′ [Aol]

A 14-YEAR-OLD boy drank gasoline for five years to obtain “energy” – just as his idols “Bumble Bee” or “Optimus Prime” do in “Transformers,” the Sichuan-based West China Metropolis Daily reported yesterday.

After the boy, in Yibin City, southwest Sichuan Province, had watched the animated TV series, he began to drink gasoline to become a “valiant fighter” like “Optimus Prime,” his father told the newspaper.

“He began to drink gasoline five years ago, when we found he liked smelling lighter fuel,” he said.

“Since my son started to drink gas, his IQ has dropped sharply and now he can’t figure out simple addition and subtraction,” the father said.

“Before that, he was a very smart boy, and he could even repair the television. But now he does not know the answer of 7 plus 17.”

The worried parents finally took their son to hospital where they were told the boy had a mental disorder and a strong “gasoline dependence.”

It’d take a pretty dumb kid to drink gasoline the first time because the robots who have day jobs as cars did it on TV, but it’d take a much dumber kid to do it for five years. Or maybe he just knows something that we all don’t. People always make the argument about gas prices that, “WELL HEY, IT COSTS MORE FOR A GALLON OF PEPSI THAN IT DOES FOR A GALLON OF GAS HURR HURR” but maybe that’s just because the government doesn’t want us to know about the awesome powers that would come to us all if the food pyramid included 8 ounces of unleaded every morning. If this gasoline has the power to make an Asian kid incapable of math, who knows what kind of inverse powers it’d have? White guys jumping through the sky, Polish people creating submarines that function properly, black guys not hooking up with fat white chicks. This requires further research.

[via]

Theoretically, it’s kind of gross to imagine that objects like a water cooler are living things. On the other hand, I enjoy having things jerk off into my beverages, so that seems like a positive thing to me. What can I say? Sometimes you just want an extra level of flavor.