It seems obvious to me that the camel is jonesing for his own show. And probably justifiably so. He carried that clip the whole time. His owner coming back to wrangle him may have temporarily derailed this camel’s career as Turkey’s Craig Ferguson, but one day his star will shine.

With a possible lockout on the horizon for the 2011-2012 NBA season, players may very well travel abroad to keep their skills intact. Undoubtedly, some older veterans will probably use the time for some fun in the sun and relaxation as they watch their bank accounts deplete with trips to the strip club.

One veteran though, may be joining an old pal in Turkey. Yes, the Big Aristotle is drawing interest from Bestikas, the same team Allen Iverson plays for.

Yalcin also said Iverson served as an intermediary, talking with Shaq to convince him to sign with the Turkish club. Shaquille O’Neal has signed a two-year contract witht he Boston Celtics but the second year is a player option, which means that, if a lock-out is confirmed in the next months, this scenario isn’t completely unthinkable.
“Some people will still come out and say ‘Shaq won’t come to Turkey’,” Yalcin added. “But the chances are very high.”

With all due respect to Seref Yalcin and his Turkish squad, I think they may be a little confused. See, you guys said “turkey” and you caught Shaq right before dinner. It’s that simple.

On a side note, if you want to read some absolutely hilarious stuff, look at the English translation of the Turkish newspaper this came from. Here’s an excerpt:

Iverson shot 12 to transfer to another star around the world who thinks the NBA’s black-whites .. also made a transfer bid

Apparently, the Google translator is not well-schooled in the “Hooked on Phonics” program.

Shaquille O’Neal In Besiktas Next Year? [Hoops Notes]

Pretty touching little story of human triumph right? Less touching: If, after the video ends, the man looks around him, shoves the child into his front pocket, and tip-toes away while whistling, hoping no one noticed his incredibly good fortune.

Pretty cute right! Up until the part when he goes, “Hey, let me cut your head off and bind your arms and legs together.” Yeah, not so cute. But that’s the power of a great, charismatic leader…you go in hoping for the best, believing you’ll be taken to the Promised Land. But instead you just end up jilted, bound with strange objects shoved into your asshole. C’est la vie.

I get that, as a business, you need to have a little pizazz to stand out. I get so annoyed by cutesy crap in establishments, like when there are performers at the restaurant or when there’s a show where the actors come into the audience and, I dunno, throw a bag of crap at you. You know what’s great? Brazilian steakhouses. You get floads of meat and it’s fast and steady and they have their fanciness in the form of serving it to you off a SWORD. You know who else ate foods off of swords? Vikings. And Jesus.

Also I’d trust the cleanliness of a Turkish street vendor touching up on my ice cream cone about as much as I would a needle I’m licking that I found outside a halfway house. Why am I licking street needles you ask? One of life’s many great questions.

As FilmDrunk points out, the most awesome part is when the Turkish broad challenges 50 to a dance contest of sorts at 0:18. Apparently she missed the last, like, 400 years of black people existing because trying to get a black person to dance against you can never lead to any good. In fact, the Surgeon General warns that challenging a black person to a dance-off could lead to serious injury, including but not limited to emotional damage from being fiercely served.

I wonder if other cultures would find it as funny if we had some Turkish celeb come on to one of our American shows and forced him to dance like he was “Supermanning’ dat ho”. Frankly, this should have been the angle Meet the Press took after Tim Russert died.