CNN’s Lisa Sylvester is usually on top of her game as a correspondent for The Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer, but today, uh, not so much. While reporting on the bees issue at the Rockies-Diamondbacks game, Sylvester quipped: “It wasn’t a Columbus Yellow Jackets hockey game–had ]]>

CNN’s Lisa Sylvester is usually on top of her game as a correspondent for The Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer, but today, uh, not so much. While reporting on the bees issue at the Rockies-Diamondbacks game, Sylvester quipped: “It wasn’t a Columbus Yellow Jackets hockey game–had it been, they could have possibly stayed on a mascot….” Of course, Sylvester meant to say Blue Jackets. You know, the team that’s been in the NHL for 11 seasons and have yet to win a playoff game. Yea, them.

By the way Lisa, here’s a brief history of the Blue Jackets logo. They’re actually named after Naval seaman and not fake insects. *The more you know*

Goodnight, sweet prince. Put on your sunglasses one more time. Then take them off. It’s that time of the year, when networks start making the hard choices that need to be made. Deadline is reporting that CBS has pulled the plug on CSI: Miami, which just finished ]]>

Goodnight, sweet prince. Put on your sunglasses one more time. Then take them off. It’s that time of the year, when networks start making the hard choices that need to be made. Deadline is reporting that CBS has pulled the plug on CSI: Miami, which just finished its tenth season. This is the first CSI franchise show to be cancelled, despite just signing a syndication deal with AMC. General consensus is that the show is just too expensive to produce. You know that each of those Caruso one-liners costs a solid six figures easy. While we’re pouring one out in grief, let’s enjoy some classic Horatio Caine.

It’s like those Fun Size candy bars you get at Halloween, except they make you sad. The Office still struggles along on life support, but three of the funniest shows on NBC are on their way out. It’s the time of the year when networks break ]]>

It’s like those Fun Size candy bars you get at Halloween, except they make you sad. The Office still struggles along on life support, but three of the funniest shows on NBC are on their way out. It’s the time of the year when networks break our hearts, and NBC is taking the lead by saying that the next seasons of Community, Parks And Recreation and 30 Rock will not only be the last, but they will also be just 13 episodes long, according to the New York Daily News. The argument against these three shows is that they get lousy ratings, but let’s be frank: everything on NBC gets lousy ratings. It’s not yet certain what NBC will replace the three shows with, but some of the prospects include a new Matthew Perry show and a new Anne Heche show, two actors who have failed spectacularly in the recent past.

Allow me to echo the sentiments of everyone with a brain–DON’T END PARKS AND RECREATION. Here’s what TV shows you should watch tonight.

Parks and Recreation @ 9:30pm, NBC: This could very well be the last episode of Parks and Rec. A damn shame if so.

MTV’s Teen Wolf is a shamefully guilty pleasure. Here’s what to expect from Season 2. Even though the 21st century version of Stiles doesn’t have a “WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT, DICKNOSE” T-shirt and they’ve replaced basketball with lacrosse, MTV’s update of Teen Wolf into a TV series manages to ]]>

MTV’s Teen Wolf is a shamefully guilty pleasure. Here’s what to expect from Season 2. Even though the 21st century version of Stiles doesn’t have a “WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT, DICKNOSE” T-shirt and they’ve replaced basketball with lacrosse, MTV’s update of Teen Wolf into a TV series manages to be pretty fun. Sure, much of that is due to the smoking hotness of co-star Crystal Reed, but we’ll take what we can get. The second season premieres on June 3rd, and here’s a little teaser to get your blood flowing.

Hey, remember how much we loved Lost? And then remember how much we hated it? They want to make us love it again. I can’t think of a show that fell off as hard as Lost did in its last season. We were all trying to ]]>

Hey, remember how much we loved Lost? And then remember how much we hated it? They want to make us love it again. I can’t think of a show that fell off as hard as Lost did in its last season. We were all trying to solve the mystery of just what the hell was going on with that damn island, reading quantum physics books and calling our old science teachers “just to check in,” and it turned out to be a magical fairy hole? Utter garbage. But, you know, nothing ever ends in Hollywood when there’s money to be made. Show co-creator Damon Lindelof was a speaker at Variety’s Entertainment & Technology Summit, and in addition to talking about Twitter and Prometheus, he also dropped some tantalizing hints about a return to the island. Sort of.

“I do feel like the world has not seen the end of Lost, but I’m not going to have any involvement…” was his exact quote. It’s actually fairly simple: ABC owns the rights to the show and the characters, and if they wanted to bring it back for a miniseries, a TV movie or whatever, they could put anybody they wanted at the helm. The network’s had a particularly rough 2012 season so far, with shows like Charlie’s Angels and Pan Am biting the dust, as well as the closing of long-running ratings standby Desperate Housewives. What do you think? Would you watch more Lost?

Girls! It’s on HBO! Lena Dunham created it! There aren’t any Black people in it! Viral video! Go! A few episodes in, I have to say I’m a fan of Girls. Sure, it’s a bit of a weird comedown after Game of Thrones, but what wouldn’t be? The chronicles of ]]>

Girls! It’s on HBO! Lena Dunham created it! There aren’t any Black people in it! Viral video! Go! A few episodes in, I have to say I’m a fan of Girls. Sure, it’s a bit of a weird comedown after Game of Thrones, but what wouldn’t be? The chronicles of a bunch of listless honkies in New York City mooching off their parents has rubbed some people the wrong way, prompting blog posts about “hipster racism” and other hot-button topics. And, of course, there’s a “sh-t people say” video. Because that’s just how we do it on the Internet these days.

You’ll have to stick with this one because it won’t make a sense. The gist: There’s a British show called Golden Balls that’s about leveraging the human psyché for prizes. And the guy on the right nailed it.

In case it was too much to grasp in ]]>

You’ll have to stick with this one because it won’t make a sense. The gist: There’s a British show called Golden Balls that’s about leveraging the human psyché for prizes. And the guy on the right nailed it.

In case it was too much to grasp in one sitting, the gist of the game is each contestant has two options: Share or Steal. If they both choose to share, the prize is split. If one person chooses Steal and the other chooses Share, the prize goes entirely to the one person choosing Steal. If both choose Steal, no one gets the prize.

Easily the riskiest gambit involving golden balls other than when Goldfinger attempted to teabag James Bond while he was in captivity.

It’s not uncommon for TV shows trying to keep a secret to put out red herrings. But two whole endings? Fox’s Fringe is one of the most mind-twisting shows on TV right now, gleefully keeping the spirit of The X-Files alive but adding in even more ]]>

It’s not uncommon for TV shows trying to keep a secret to put out red herrings. But two whole endings? Fox’s Fringe is one of the most mind-twisting shows on TV right now, gleefully keeping the spirit of The X-Files alive but adding in even more totally bonkers science.

Unfortunately, ratings on the show haven’t been that great, and the crew isn’t sure if it’ll be returning to Season 5, because obviously Fox has to spend their important money on garbage like Touch. So to make sure that the season finale is satisfying no matter what, they shot two possible endings.

Zap2It is reporting that each of the endings accomplishes a different narrative goal. One neatly wraps the story so far up in a satisfying conclusion, while the other opens the door for more craziness. Hopefully when the finale airs on May 11th we’ll see the second one. Or maybe that’s just for the evil parallel universe. Those guys get all the good stuff.

Hi, TV executives? I have like a million dumb ideas. Can you please give me some money so I stop just pissing them away on Twitter? In the latest dispatch from the glittering land of people with no business sense throwing money down a hole,

Hi, TV executives? I have like a million dumb ideas. Can you please give me some money so I stop just pissing them away on Twitter? In the latest dispatch from the glittering land of people with no business sense throwing money down a hole, Bravo has announced a new reality show, tentatively titled Huh? that is set in the office of the Cheezburger Network, that Web company responsible for making tons of money off of other people’s memes. Oh boy, I can’t wait to watch unpaid interns surf Reddit for sixteen hours, register domain names and wear out the Impact font. That sounds so gripping.

We can all agree that The Office has been on life support all season. But is it ready for some serious surgery? After Steve Carell left the series at the end of the last season to become a big-time movie star guy (which has worked out ]]>

We can all agree that The Office has been on life support all season. But is it ready for some serious surgery? After Steve Carell left the series at the end of the last season to become a big-time movie star guy (which has worked out better than David Caruso, at least), I wondered how the sitcom would soldier on without him. The answer? Not very well.

Even though Michael was one of the show’s worst characters, his neediness and imbecility counterbalanced the rest of the cast in a good way. Putting Andy in the slot, despite being somewhat similar a character, just didn’t make the right comedic sparks. This season has had some strong points, but it’s definitely on the wrong side of the shark.

Things are about to get worse for the show – Dwight Schrute is leaving to anchor his own spin-off, set at Schrute Farms, and many of the other cast members are reaching the end of their contracts. John Krasinski, Jenna Fischer, B.J. Novak and Ed Helms are all only on board until the end of the current season.

Now Deadline is reporting that executive producer Greg Daniels is considering a complete reboot of the show with a totally new cast, set somewhere besides Sabre. Considering that the conceit of the show is a documentary film crew recording the events of this nondescript business, it’d be easy to say that the cameras are just moving on while all of the employees you know and love are staying put.

What do you think? Would you watch a rebooted The Office? Or is it time to take it out to the field and put it down like the fax machine in Office Space?

Viral marketing is usually dumb and makes me die a little inside. But this stunt to launch TNT in Belgium featuring a button that “creates drama” is brilliant. Anything with spin kicks AND hot chicks on motorcycles is a good idea.

The Oprah Winfrey Network had the ]]>

Viral marketing is usually dumb and makes me die a little inside. But this stunt to launch TNT in Belgium featuring a button that “creates drama” is brilliant. Anything with spin kicks AND hot chicks on motorcycles is a good idea.

The Oprah Winfrey Network had the same idea for its channel launch, only you’d press a button to have a fat woman come out to yell at you and stomp on your testicles while no one watched. It got the message across but was less of a rousing success.

Do you need a little Zen in your life? Why not bliss out with eight minutes of the General Lee jumping. We all watched Dukes of Hazzard for two things: Daisy Duke’s gams and the Dukes driving dangerously. Pretty much every episode had a money shot of the General ]]>

Do you need a little Zen in your life? Why not bliss out with eight minutes of the General Lee jumping. We all watched Dukes of Hazzard for two things: Daisy Duke’s gams and the Dukes driving dangerously. Pretty much every episode had a money shot of the General Lee jumping over something, and an enterprising YouTube user has painstakingly combined them into one epic video. By the end, you’ll feel exhilarated and inspired to get some air with your whip as well.

So we all saw the ads for Jennifer Love Hewitt’s new show The Client List with the serious boobage? Lifetime is trying to take that back. Hewitt rocked our world with the sexy ad campaign for The Client List earlier this year, ]]>

So we all saw the ads for Jennifer Love Hewitt’s new show The Client List with the serious boobage? Lifetime is trying to take that back. Hewitt rocked our world with the sexy ad campaign for The Client List earlier this year, and the images have done more for her new show than all the daytime TV appearances in the world. That’s why I’m shocked that, in the latest wave of print ads, Lifetime has drastically reduced the size and exposure of Love’s luscious lady lumps.

You can see for yourself in the image above. On the left is the original image that we all love, and on the right is the newly-edited version where J-Love’s cup size has been withered away like American exceptionalism. The saddest thing is that the actress actually had no idea that Lifetime was making the change, only finding out when a friend emailed her a photograph, according to the New York Daily News. A crime against humanity has been perpetrated here, people. Let those funbags free. Nobody’s going to watch this damn show if they’re locked up.

TNT’s Falling Skies is probably the best TV series that Steven Spielberg produces. That’s because The River sucked. If you didn’t watch the first season, you missed a tightly-plotted tale of an Earth devastated by alien invasion. It’s a lot like The Walking Dead with a little Starship Troopers ]]>

TNT’s Falling Skies is probably the best TV series that Steven Spielberg produces. That’s because The River sucked. If you didn’t watch the first season, you missed a tightly-plotted tale of an Earth devastated by alien invasion. It’s a lot like The Walking Dead with a little Starship Troopers mixed in, only things are way worse for humanity. Check this teaser for the first three minutes of the Season 2 premiere. The new season of Falling Skies starts June 17th.

Do you really want to get practical jokes played on you by geriatrics? NBC thinks so. The network has announced that 90 year old Betty White, former Golden Girls star turned inexplicable pop culture phenomenon, will executive produce and host Betty White’s Off Their Rockers, a ]]>

Do you really want to get practical jokes played on you by geriatrics? NBC thinks so. The network has announced that 90 year old Betty White, former Golden Girls star turned inexplicable pop culture phenomenon, will executive produce and host Betty White’s Off Their Rockers, a hidden camera prank show in the vein of Punk’d that uses old people as the jokesters. Who wants to put $5 against there being a “I’m having a heart attack” bit in the first three episodes? I’ll also lay $10 that one of the aged actors actually does have a heart attack and they have to shut the show down, Luck-style. Betty White’s Off Their Rockers premieres Wednesday, April 4th at 8PM.

So Community was pulled back from the brink of death only to publicly commit suicide, is that what you’re saying? After the return of NBC’s funniest show to the airwaves, fans breathed a sigh of relief that the drama seemed to be over. But the drama ]]>

So Community was pulled back from the brink of death only to publicly commit suicide, is that what you’re saying? After the return of NBC’s funniest show to the airwaves, fans breathed a sigh of relief that the drama seemed to be over. But the drama was just beginning!

On the last day of filming Season 3, star Chevy Chase walked off the set in a huff. There are a few explanations as to why – some sources say he hadn’t received scripts, while others claim that he just thought the material wasn’t funny. It was a pretty cruddy way to wrap up a triumphant return to production, but it seemed like a minor issue.

Unfortunately, show creator Dan Harmon decided to pay Chevy back at the wrap party, giving a speech in front of Chase’s wife and daughters where he led the cast and crew in a “F— you, Chevy” chant. Chase and his family left immediately, and Chevy then proceeded to leave a profanity-laden voicemail on Harmon’s phone, calling the showrunner an “alcoholic fat s—” and telling him he’s going to die young because he’s fat and eats like crap.

Instead of the pair just hugging it out like bros, Harmon went on to play the voicemail for the crowd during one of his monthly comedy gigs. Some enterprising soul taped it, leaked it and a firestorm of horrible news began. With a show already on life support, why would the creators do anything to make things worse?

At press time, Harmon has issued an apology to Chase for playing the voicemail in public, but Chase has refused to apologize, telling reporters that it was the “right thing to do.” He also said “We’ve got comedy to make,” which gives me hope that he’ll come back to the show. And, hell, actors hate writers and producers all the time. It’s part of their job.