If you want to feel bad about humanity, one look at Twitter’s trending topics will do it. Here’s the worst of what trended this week.

Trending topics on Twitter are a lens into the dark heart of the world’s subconscious, as social media users flock, lemming-like to do what ]]>

If you want to feel bad about humanity, one look at Twitter’s trending topics will do it. Here’s the worst of what trended this week.

Trending topics on Twitter are a lens into the dark heart of the world’s subconscious, as social media users flock, lemming-like to do what they see others doing. Sometimes they’re cool, but most of the time they really stink. Here are three from the last week that really made me fear for the future.

#DeepestSongsOfAllTime

Any music-related topic on Twitter is guaranteed to be an abject disaster. Justin Bieber is the most popular musician on the service. Do I need to say anything else? But when Twittards tackle the “deepest songs of all time,” you know you’re in for hilarity.

#DeepestSongsOfAllTime How You Remind Me – Nickelback

— Rosalind Griffiths (@Nirvana4ever) May 14, 2012

This is somebody with a Nirvana avatar and username saying that Nickelback wrote the deepest song ever. Think on that for a second.

#DeepestSongsOfAllTime Marvin gate what’s going on a song about real life.

— G-roc (@4Groc4) May 17, 2012

“Marvin Gate.”

#DeepestSongsOfAllTime Sadness and Sorrow from Naruto

— L.sah \(=_=o) (@kh_ifnt) May 16, 2012

Anime = cancer. Other musical acts that got lots of mentions include Drake, Nicki Minaj and lots and lots of Eminem.

#WhenBlackFolksThrowAParty

It seems like just about every day Twitter features a trend that’s just an excuse to engage in base racial stereotyping. I’m not going to tell any African-Americans what they can and cannot tweet with the hashtag #WhenBlackFolksThrowAParty. My fellow honkies, though…

#WhenBlackFolksThrowAParty Someone always gets shot.

— Claire (@I_amBoo) May 17, 2012

#WhenBlackFolksThrowAParty I call the cops

— Trevor Rhyne (@Trevor121212121) May 16, 2012

#WhenBlackFolksThrowAParty….I wouldn’t know, I’m too scared to go

— Adesh Singh (@AdeshKSingh) May 17, 2012

Cool racism, dudes and ladies. Good show there. Remind me not to go to any of your parties.

#WorstRapLineEver

And why not close this out with a topic that combines the musical ignorance of #DeepestSongsOfAllTime with the casual racism of #WhenBlackFolksThrowAParty? Ladies and gentlemen, if you ever wondered where the people who say “I like all music… except rap and country” went, they’re all on Twitter. How many people do you think made the following “joke”?

#WorstRapLineEver um, all of them.

— GottaLoveRedneckBoys (@LovinRedneckBoy) May 14, 2012

If you answered less than several hundred, you’re wrong.

#WorstRapLineEver All of them. Except Eminem.

— Jackie (@MyDearJackie) May 14, 2012

#WorstRapLineEver all of them? Well, unless Zayn starts rapping…

— Liam Payne (@Real_Liam_Paynx) May 14, 2012

Okay, this person will like rap when one of the guys from One Direction (a boy band that, if you’re not on Twitter, you’ve probably never heard of) starts rapping. That’s great, dude. Way to be open to new things.

Did you see any particularly stupid trends this week? Post them in the comments and I’ll dig through the sewage to find the worst of the worst.

If you want to feel bad about humanity, one visit to Twitter’s trending topics will do it. Here’s the worst of what trended this week.

The only reason for there to be trending topics on Twitter is so the company can make a little money by letting gullible companies ]]>

If you want to feel bad about humanity, one visit to Twitter’s trending topics will do it. Here’s the worst of what trended this week.

The only reason for there to be trending topics on Twitter is so the company can make a little money by letting gullible companies buy the top spot. Otherwise, they only serve as a peek into the minds of the world’s worst people, people too dumb to think of something to Tweet about so they follow the herd like lemmings off a cliff.

If I Had A Gun

One of the most interesting things about Twitter is the ability of global trends to go completely misunderstood by ignorant Americans. When Oasis singer Noel Gallagher played his old band’s hit “If I Had A Gun” at a concert in Argentina, the title soon hit the trending topics list. But once it was there, people started taking it a little too literally.

Okay, that last one? That’s basically guaranteeing you a visit from the Secret Service. And they’re not looking to sell you cookies. The sad thing is, it’s really not even that hard to get a gun these days. Sure, there’s a waiting period, but think of it like the Fail Whale: once it’s over, you’re free to spray your violent idiocy all over the world.

R.I.P. Ad-Rock

The death of Adam Yauch of the Beastie Boys came as a shock to Twitter, and tons of people expressed their regrets. Many of those people, however, didn’t really know who Adam Yauch was. Here’s a hint: he wasn’t Ad-Rock.

That last guy there? He’s a professional hip hop DJ. He toured with Eminem and had his own show on New York’s legendary Hot 97. It’s one thing for dumbass teenage kids to get this wrong, but professionals?

#ReplaceBandNamesWithRape

“Replace X with Y” trending topics are almost always excuses for unfunny douchebags to strut their stuff, but last week saw one of the most odious examples. Twitter, like most of the rest of the Internet, is all about white male privilege, and making japes about rape is an outgrowth of that. After some more reasonably-minded people started protesting the hashtag, it brought out waves of manchildren saying things like “Rape is just a word, maaaan.” Here’s a little thought experiment for you: walk up to a woman you want to have sex with someday and tell her “rape is just a word.” See how far you get.

Ah, Twitter. The one place on Earth where human decency makes you the object of derision. What topics did you think were the stupidest on Twitter this week? Post suggestions in the comments and I’ll dig up the worst of the worst for next week.

I think a lot of people who aren’t women aged 25-45 are still struggling to figure out what’s the big deal about Pinterest. Fortunately, a Twitter account called Pictureless Pinterest helps show the massive appeal.

It’s like Horse_ebooks for our generation.

More often than not, we learn about major accidents and other problems from Twitter first. It’s a useful way to get news about car crashes, fires, shootings, all sorts of awful tragedies.

The problem is, if you’re a first-responder, you really don’t have time to go scrolling ]]>

More often than not, we learn about major accidents and other problems from Twitter first. It’s a useful way to get news about car crashes, fires, shootings, all sorts of awful tragedies.

The problem is, if you’re a first-responder, you really don’t have time to go scrolling through piles of hash-tags and blathering idiocy to get at the vital information being tweeted out by observers.

This is where Twitcident comes in.

At its most basic, Twitcident is ultimately a web filter: once it becomes aware of something potentially dangerous happening, it starts monitoring tweets about that incident, as well as members of Twitter who seem to be posting about it. It filters out all the garbage, like @ replies and other stuff that happens on Twitter as a matter of course, and focuses on finding key information.

It’s also useful to the general public, because it can find, say, a car crash on the interstate and let you know that traffic is backed up to the state line, so maybe consider picking another route to work. Twitcident should have a public beta this fall.

Twitcident Fights Fires With Twitter [Wired]

For the past couple years, the only thing more amazing than Betty White’s extendend existence is her persistent popularity. Now that she has a TV show again it shouldn’t come as a surprise that @BettyMWhite has joined Twitter.

Most celebrities that randomly appear on Twitter make one ]]>

For the past couple years, the only thing more amazing than Betty White’s extendend existence is her persistent popularity. Now that she has a TV show again it shouldn’t come as a surprise that @BettyMWhite has joined Twitter.

Most celebrities that randomly appear on Twitter make one simple tweet and let the followers roll in. That seemed to be the path that Sue Ann Nivens was going to take as well. She had more followers than I did within the first 8 minutes and over 50,000 within three hours (now up to 102,000). Unfortunately after just an hour and a half it became clear that the old broad wasn’t just there to unleash hilarious 140-character senile rants on the world. That’s because her second tweet was to advertise her own show.

At this point I was ready to write this off as just caving to pressures from her agency. She is following one of her own PR people after all. The last thing I need is to fill my already crowded feed (thank god for lists) with constant self-promotion. Thankfully somebody gave Rose Nylund the memo that you can’t just immediately start outright pimping your own work because she quickly shifted gears. Instead of just telling us to watch her show, she reminded us when it was and then made a joke about wanting to bang Ryan Seacrest.

Now that’s more like it! I mean it’s more disgusting than Nick Swardson and Shirley Jones in Grandma’s Boy, but a shameful tweet is still a step up from a shameless plug.

No, seriously. Unbearable is just one of many games that was created last weekend, part of the MolyJam game jam, in which folks came up with totally over the top games based upon an even wackier fake Twitter persona.

Long story short, there’s this Twitter account ]]>

No, seriously. Unbearable is just one of many games that was created last weekend, part of the MolyJam game jam, in which folks came up with totally over the top games based upon an even wackier fake Twitter persona.

Long story short, there’s this Twitter account that spouts nonsensical (but totally brilliant) video game ideas, which are inspired by an actual game designer whose concepts are almost just as idiotic, except this person is totally real.

He’s become quite the hot thing, and most recently, someone thought it would be an awesome idea to have people actually attempt to make games based upon his ramblings. The above is based upon:

“You are a bear but for some reason your oxygen comes from hugging people. Problem is that hugging people breaks their bones”

Unbearable is just one of a half dozen that Kotaku recently highlighted. Best part is how all the games are available for download, and equally insane.

Kendall Jenner is a teenager. Being a teenager, she posted the above photo on her Instagram saying “Miss summer! #tan” Media outlets were a combination of disgusted and titillated. Guys were creeps. Here are the most particularly disturbing tweets.

11 ]]>

Kendall Jenner is a teenager. Being a teenager, she posted the above photo on her Instagram saying “Miss summer! #tan” Media outlets were a combination of disgusted and titillated. Guys were creeps. Here are the most particularly disturbing tweets.

11 @ashiin__kusherr

How generous of you!

10 @DeanValles

New rule: If your hairline appears to be receding in your avatar, you can’t comment on the hotness of teens on social media Web sites.

9 @CFSalgado

Not guilty enough not to lecherously repost the pic, mind you. Just somewhat. Glad we could clear that up.

8 @neelsonP

I’m going to assume that’s something about spreading her buttcheeks. Who has time to check Google Translate? Not this guy here.

7 @james_donohoe1

Sweet, bro. Pretty sure 16-year-old multimillionaire Kendall Jenner is trolling her @ mentions looking for a creepy guy attempting to appear pensive in his computer chair. I like your chances.

6 @trf205gp

He was probably laying his jacket over a puddle for a woman as he wrote this message. I presume that’s the only way someone could end up typing with no regard for spelling or letter case like that.

5 @DASHING_KARA

I find the directness here to be the most unnerving.

4 @RushHrHandles

Well, driving and masturbating simultaneously is quite difficult. Uh..I presume.

3 @Zekokowscaliswagg

Commenting on a 10th grader’s ass may seem declassé, but when you factor in the caps lock and lack of punctuation, there’s a degree of class captured here you may have initially missed.

2 @BasedGrandma

I don’t think that’s actually Oprah Winfrey.

1 @stu_pidcock07

Perhaps being on Twitter can fulfill Kendall Jenner’s health/sex-ed class requirements for school. She’s learning so much about human biology!

Note to all companies out there: When you’re on Twitter, you might want to avoid making “hilarious” tweets about your product tied in with sexual assault. Lesson learned, Belvedere Vodka?

The tweet was removed relatively quickly, but not before the picture blew up ]]>

Note to all companies out there: When you’re on Twitter, you might want to avoid making “hilarious” tweets about your product tied in with sexual assault. Lesson learned, Belvedere Vodka?

The tweet was removed relatively quickly, but not before the picture blew up on Tumblr. Belvedere’s apology tweet read:

Yeah, worst apology ever. I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest that joking about some dude raping a girl to promote the smooth textures of your vodka has very little to do with safe and responsible drinking

What was the picture even targeting? Guys who like vodka or guys who like rape? Because even if it was going after the latter typically undesirable audience, I’m going to say it was still a bit ineffective.

We emailed Belvedere’s PR rep for comment. We’ll update the article if we hear back.

9:50 EASTERN UPDATE: Just got this statement from Belvedere SVP of Marketing, Jason Lundy.

“Unfortunately a Facebook &Twitter posting was made today that has offended many of our fans and followers — and indeed the people who work here at Belvedere. The post is absolutely inconsistent with our values and beliefs and in addition to removing the offensive post we are committed to making sure that something like this doesn’t happen again. As an expression of our deep disappointment and regret, we are making a charitable donation to a women’s support cause. We deeply apologize to our fans & followers.”

As everyone with an Internet connection has now learned Peyton Manning will be taking his talents to Denver, leaving many wondering about the fate of Tim Tebow, but mostly just people making jokes about the whole deal. Here are a handful of the funniest initial reactions we ran ]]>

As everyone with an Internet connection has now learned Peyton Manning will be taking his talents to Denver, leaving many wondering about the fate of Tim Tebow, but mostly just people making jokes about the whole deal. Here are a handful of the funniest initial reactions we ran across on Twitter.

Steak and BJ Day is a vestige of the stupid beer commercial/shock jock type of thought that was “cool” in the late 90s, a fake holiday on March 14th designed to coax women into giving men their equivalent of Valentine’s Day. But for some reason, it ]]>

Steak and BJ Day is a vestige of the stupid beer commercial/shock jock type of thought that was “cool” in the late 90s, a fake holiday on March 14th designed to coax women into giving men their equivalent of Valentine’s Day. But for some reason, it trended on Twitter today. Many bro-fives ensued. Here are 13 women who were most vocal in their response to Steak and BJ Day.

1


I respect her decision if she’s in a relationship. I find her to be an attention seeking bore if she isn’t. There are no shades of grey.

2

Hopefully it isn’t a Texas-sized porterhouse for Dad, his friend Jim, and the Harlem Globetrotters.

3

For as little as I believe in this non-holiday, frankly, I’m disappointed in the lack of slutty behavior coming from someone using a bevy of non-traditional emoticons in a single tweet.

4

Tea bags? I hope she means actual bags of tea. Either way, I’m assuming this guy won’t make it through the rigorous Boyfriend of the Year application criteria.

5

Well, here’s a potentially willing subject offering sexual favors for goods. I see no way that broadcasting that on a social media platform could go wrong. None at all.

6

For the record, “didn’t know what it meant” doesn’t necessarily mean she’s not giving out blowie jays like candy. She may call them Mouth Blasters or Lip Numbers, but that doesn’t mean they’re not being given.

7

Says the girl who’s covering her eye.

8

Isn’t there some idiom about it being better to give than receive? Anyway, ol’ Harrisflyer has nobody to blame but himself. Get your girl roses in the hopes she’ll be dumb enough to listen to a Twitter trending topic holiday. It’s called foresight, bro.

9

That is some dedication to avoid doing something for your husband. Hopefully his secretary at least gave him a cheesesteak and a handy.

10

I say this with no knowledge of this gal but I would wager A LOT of money that this girl is absolutely disgusting and possibly reeking of a French Onion soup odor.

11

As if people needed more reasons to dislike vegans.

12

Something tells me that her husband isn’t opposed. “Oh, no, we’re cool honey. A chicken sandwich and a high five work. I’m going to stay in the garage a while longer though, okay sweetie?” *tightens noose*

13

You tell us. Has anyone ever actually done this? Post your story in the comments. This is a safe place without judgment.*

*there may be some judgment

The Notorious B.I.G. was gunned down in Los Angeles 15 years ago today. Does that make you feel old? How about the fact that the American Association of Retired Persons is tweeting about it?

Somewhere, a 80-year-old AARP Twitter follower is throwing back ]]>

The Notorious B.I.G. was gunned down in Los Angeles 15 years ago today. Does that make you feel old? How about the fact that the American Association of Retired Persons is tweeting about it?

Somewhere, a 80-year-old AARP Twitter follower is throwing back shots to a 64-year-old chippy in his retirement home to “Hypnotize” in Biggie’s honor.

The Internet has been set to DEFCON 5 ever since news of alleged leaked Christina Hendricks pics hit the Web, but nowhere more so than on Twitter. Here’s a little sampling of what’s been going on. Even if the photos in question aren’t really her, the timing ]]>

The Internet has been set to DEFCON 5 ever since news of alleged leaked Christina Hendricks pics hit the Web, but nowhere more so than on Twitter. Here’s a little sampling of what’s been going on. Even if the photos in question aren’t really her, the timing of these leaks has done a lot to help remind people that her show Mad Men is returning to airwaves real soon. Not that one thing has anything to do with another. Of course not.

15

14

13

12

11

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1

The Rob Lowe tweet heard round the world yesterday now appears to be some kind of inside joke between him and Colts owner Jim Irsay. The two have been good friends for quite some time and a brief Google search reveals

The Rob Lowe tweet heard round the world yesterday now appears to be some kind of inside joke between him and Colts owner Jim Irsay. The two have been good friends for quite some time and a brief Google search reveals several pictures of them together. It stands to reason that Lowe received the information from Irsay and perhaps even consulted him before sending out the Tweet.

So, the question becomes, why? Why did the two troll us on one of the largest social media websites in the world? The answer seems simple, albeit somewhat sinister. This Saturday at 8pm, the Lifetime original movie, Untouchable, will air for the first time. What better way for a little bump in the ratings than to make yourself the most popular person on Twitter for a day?

Almost 24 hours later and Lowe is still trending on every major search engine. Combine that with his boost in followers (started the day at 229k and now sits at 244k) and yea, you get the picture.

We’ve been had.

There are numerous types of gamers, but when you get down to it, they can boiled down to either one of two types: casual and hardcore gamers. For years, designers have tried making both audiences happy, but at long last, someone’s finally discovered the winning formula.

Get ready for the ]]>

There are numerous types of gamers, but when you get down to it, they can boiled down to either one of two types: casual and hardcore gamers. For years, designers have tried making both audiences happy, but at long last, someone’s finally discovered the winning formula.

Get ready for the Cascore revolution, which seeks to bring both groups together, and have them play as one. And who’s the genius behind this movement? Why Peter Molydeux! Not Peter Molyneux, the man responsible for Fable and other Lionhead titles, aka gaming’s equivalent to PT Barnum…

Peter Molydeux is actually a parody Twitter account, which pokes fun at the real deal’s hyperbole. He’s quite the hit amongst gaming industry types, but I’m pretty sure anyone can enjoy the fake game designer’s fake game ideas. Here’s another, in which you actually assume the role of Peter Molyneux himself, aka God’s gift to video games. And who will make you believe that a tree can help you fly into outer space…

BTW, some have noticed that the Cascore title has more than a passing resemblance to Suda 51′s Diabolical Pitch, which also combines casual gameplay… in this case, throwing an imaginary baseball, a la Wii Sports… and killing zombies. Though Peter Molydeux has a reason for that…

Well, the idea of smell-o-vision never managed to excite the imaginations of television or moviegoers, but how about when playing games or surfing the internet?

That’s what the Olly is all about. According to Rocker, Paper, Shotgun, it connects to your PC via ]]>

Well, the idea of smell-o-vision never managed to excite the imaginations of television or moviegoers, but how about when playing games or surfing the internet?

That’s what the Olly is all about. According to Rocker, Paper, Shotgun, it connects to your PC via USB and omits odors based upon what’s happening on screen.

Thus far, no game makers have signed up to support the platform. Among the many reasons, it’s primarily aimed at hardcore Twitter users, not gamers. The basic idea being, instead of paying attention to your tweet feed, some fragrance is discharged associated to a particular person whenever he or she tweets.

One can only imagine what smells is given out to some hottie that your Twitter-stalking. Or someone like, say, Snoop Dog?

Actually, it’s all up to the user, because Olly is completely customizable. Which also means it can be used to interface with games, which is where the real potential of the device lies. Given how many games are basically interactive movies, the sense of smell might be a logical accompaniment to the sense of movement.

Hopefully someone will create a version to interface with consoles as well, since I’ve always wanted to know what the Mushroom Kingdom smells like. And Princess Peach. Though more seriously, there are a ton more cooking games on the console side than on PCs.

Though how one gets smells into the box is a mystery all by itself. To either get one, or build one yourself… again, this is mostly due to DIY types, hence why Twitter-integration will be fun for like 30 seconds among those that actually get their feet wet with such a device… simply head on over to here.

With a Trifoce tattoo near her vag (or so it was implied) that we’ll unfortunately never get to see. Nintendo is, after-all and unfortunately, a kid friendly company.

For those who missed Popeye and Sweet Pea (but all grown up)’s first stab at being Nintendo sales folk, from earlier this ]]>

With a Trifoce tattoo near her vag (or so it was implied) that we’ll unfortunately never get to see. Nintendo is, after-all and unfortunately, a kid friendly company.

For those who missed Popeye and Sweet Pea (but all grown up)’s first stab at being Nintendo sales folk, from earlier this summer, here’s your refresher. This time around it’s for the just released Four Swords: Anniversary Edition…

… As for what Zelda IRL would have done if she had lost the bet…

… Joking clearly runs in the family it would seem. But a man can dream, can’t he?

BTW, the aforementioned game is pretty awesome! And well worth the download, especially since it’s totally free (provided you have a DS that’s capable of nabbing DSiWare software). At least until early next year, when Link’s birthday celebration officially comes to a close and the game officially goes on sale. Unfortunately it’s far more fun when playing with pals.

There’s a single player component, which is fine and all, but pales in comparison to the main course (which lacks all the cool nods to past Legend of Zeldas, for example). And too bad setting up a multiplayer session on any kind of Nintendo hardware is a real pain in the ass (though I’m not 100% if they made things easier on the 3DS).

Ever wonder what the world of The Simpsons would look like when conveyed in a language somewhere between Yugoslavian and mild retardation? Then step into the world of the Twitter account for “BART SIMSON YUGOSLAV”, also known as @BARTSIMSON_REAL.

The account’s bio:

THE ]]>

Ever wonder what the world of The Simpsons would look like when conveyed in a language somewhere between Yugoslavian and mild retardation? Then step into the world of the Twitter account for “BART SIMSON YUGOSLAV”, also known as @BARTSIMSON_REAL.

The account’s bio:

THE SIMSONS. IM BART, OFFICAL BART. REAL. MY DAD HOMTRE AND MAM IS MAGRE. BABY AND GIRL SITSER ARE OTHERS. BART SIMSON. OFFICAL YUGOSLAVIA SIMSON. THE SUMSONS.

Get on board now while the account only has 580 followers so you can say, “Hey, I knew that parody Bart Simpson account that once made me yell, ‘ALL THING ARE MILHORSE’ before it was cool.”

[Thanks for the tip, Carl!]