In their defense, the kids could hurt themselves. Plus, if your child is seriously looking into buying silverware instead of toys or candy, you probably took a misstep somewhere. No child should ever say, “But I waaaaaant that salad fork! I look ridiculous using a regular fork for non-main course meals! Waaaaaaaah!” And if that does happen to you, well, you might want to look into the spoilers from the movie Orphan.

[as seen on]

I would like to see a full album from these little scamps. It might not be too late for MC Kaos to bring together the band again for a reunion tour. No one does hip hop quite as well as pasty white 30 year-olds with charming accents beatboxing poorly as they try to avoid sneezing while doing it.

I wish I had some video of myself as a youth doing something obscenely embarrassing online. I feel like it’d be fun to break out sometimes. Not like so it’s searchable by Google, but something secret that I can share with those close to me. Times like these are when I really wish my sex tape with Ronald McDonald had gotten wider distribution instead of just ending up in my uncle’s old projector for when he’s feeling “clowny.”

[via]

A British couple have been rescued from their 13-meter yacht in the Atlantic Ocean after they drifted for weeks with a broken rudder.

The pair, Stuart Armstrong, 51, and his partner Andrea Davison, 48, was understood to be running out of food and water when they were winched to safety from their boat Sara by crew on board the 183-meter-long oil tanker Indian Point on February 18.

Having planned to cross the Atlantic from Cape Verde to Antigua, the couple’s problems began on January 9, about half-way through their journey, when the rudder of their boat jammed on starboard and sent them drifting in circles.

“We kept getting hit by storms, but we managed to get out of them with no real problems.

“But I knew we were riding our luck and we wouldn’t be able to go on for much longer,” Davison added.

A spokesman for the oil tanker [that rescued them] said the pair was “scared and wet and happy.”

[source]

An ambulance man placed a prawn on the chin of a patient awaiting electric shock treatment for a heart attack and joked: ‘Let’s see if we can cook this prawn,’ a medical panel has been told.

While paramedics prepared to use a defibrillator, ambulance technician John Jones allegedly took a prawn from a colander in the patient’s sink and asked: ‘Does anybody want a prawn?’

After the electric shock had been given, Mr Jones is reported to have said: ’360 joules won’t cook a prawn.’

The allegation by paramedic Darren Claydon comes days after he told the same hearing how a fellow paramedic – called Clive Greedy – had munched on celery while taking part in efforts to resuscitate the same dying patient.

The story tells more about how both men were let go, but it leaves one question unanswered: Did the prawn cook? Because I need to know. If this man is going to make the sacrifice of his livelihood and humanity to try this, don’t we deserve to learn about his findings?

And yeah, whatever, in America this is messed up, but in the UK, it’s just dry British humour (with a U!). The guy eating celery had the last name “Greedy” for God’s sake. This was probably just a gag situation on the British version of Grey’s Anatomy or something.