The men’s theoretical finances reacted accordingly: Savings rates dropped 42 percent when men believed there were less women and the men were also willing to borrow 84 percent more monthly for their lifestyles.

According to researchers, the men were unaware of sex ratios having any affect on their behavior.

“Economics tells us that humans make decisions by carefully thinking through our choices; that we’re not like animals,” lead researcher Vladas Griskevicius said. “It turns out we have a lot in common with other animals. We see that there are more men than women in our environment and it automatically changes our desires, our behaviors, and our entire psychology.”

Don’t worry men, you’re not alone: The study also found that women behave differently when there are more men around. No, they don’t spend more…they expect more when they’re being courted.

So men use money to pretend they have some intrinsic social merits and women are money grubbing wenches in certain social situations? No way. Up is up! Black is black! Dogs and cats, living in mild intolerance!

A Scarcity of Women Leads Men to Spend More, Save Less [University of Minnesota via Business Insider]

That’ll show women for not knowing things they don’t care about! Get back in the office to focus on “work” or in the living room to watch The Bachelor, women!

NFL playoff predictions from random attractive women who know very little about the NFL [Jockular]

I get it. Ladies are mysterious creatures who’ve confounded you over the years with our often illogical rules about what you can and can’t say about how we look. But we want to hear the nice things you have to say, just like you want the points for saying them. So here’s a quick guide on complimenting the fairer sex without fumbling your lines.

1. Pick one thing.
Saying “You look great” is appreciated, and if you mean it, say so, but getting specific makes her know you really noticed. Maybe she’s wearing a sparkly new skirt, or her hair looks really shiny. Whatever it is that first catches your eye, take note and tell her.

2. Keep it (kind of) classy.
Do you remember that awful Akon song that was on the radio every five seconds last year? “I’m trying to find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful.” Why on earth would you describe someone you’re interested disrespectfully? This made no sense to me. A general rule of thumb: you’re welcome to compliment our butt or boobs when we’re in a relationship. You don’t want to tell a girl her “ass looks amazing in those jeans” on the third date. C’mon son. You’re better than that.

3. Use your words.
Even if those words are “nice” or “pretty.” You do not need to know that my sweater is aubergine, but if you like how the purple-y color looks with my hair, tell me. We’re not looking for sonnets. I don’t even like poetry. Make your point, let us blush madly, then move on. Or go in for a kiss. You won’t be rebuffed.

4. Just say it.
Seriously, girls are whores for compliments (or at least, this one is) ((not in any improper sense, just I cannot get enough of them. I don’t, like, do weird stuff if you say I look pretty today)). If you ever want to compliment your lady, dive right in. Any lady in fact. If your barista at Starbucks washed her hair and changed her nose ring, comment on it. If your mother got a haircut, mention it. She will appreciate that you noticed. Really.

According to the ASA:

We considered that using a noticeably skinny model with visible hip, rib, collar and thigh bones, who wore heavy makeup and was posed in ways that made her body appear thinner, was likely to impress upon that audience that the images were representative of the people who might wear Drop Dead’s clothing, and as being something to aspire to. Therefore, while we considered the bikini and denim short images might not cause widespread or serious offence, we concluded they were socially irresponsible.

This isn’t the first time the UK’s advertising bureaus have banned an ad for being an unrealistic portrayal of women; L’oreal had two ads pulled earlier this year featuring Julia Roberts and Christy Turlington for being overly photoshopped.

On the one hand, I’m conflicted because it’s obviously a good thing that women aren’t holding themselves to an extremely difficult-to-live-up-to body image. On the other hand, it seems kind of ridiculous that this model — who frankly, isn’t the skinniest person I’ve ever seen — is now banned from these ads, in what might have been a big break, just because some women in the UK can’t understand that maybe they don’t need to look like a woman whose job it is to be professionally sexy.

What next, UK, banning a McDonald’s ad because the hamburgers look too delicious? 1776 couldn’t have come soon enough.

Drop Dead Ads Banned Because Models Were Too Skinny [Blisstree]

The author in question btw is William Bennett, who was the U.S. secretary of education during President Regan… remember, ketchup is a vegetable kids… and the director of the Office of National Drug Control Policy under President Bush Sr, which means he’s yet another guy who supposedly has all the answers, but couldn’t do jack himself.

The editorial in question can be found here. Entitled “Why men are in trouble”, it starts off with him citing that women are finally getting the same education and equal pay as men, plus other examples of the gender barrier slowly but surely breaking down. Which has him exhibiting a “that’s cool… but not really” attitude. lol.

So what does he (mostly) blame? Video games, like all conservative pundits, naturally…

“Today, 18-to- 34-year-old men spend more time playing video games a day than 12-to- 17-year-old boys. While women are graduating college and finding good jobs, too many men are not going to work, not getting married and not raising families. Women are beginning to take the place of men in many ways. This has led some to ask: do we even need men?

Movies are filled with stories of men who refuse to grow up and refuse to take responsibility in relationships. Men, some obsessed with sex, treat women as toys to be discarded when things get complicated. Through all these different and conflicting signals, our boys must decipher what it means to be a man, and for many of them it is harder to figure out.”

Yeah, because men only began objectifying women in 1985, when Super Mario Bros came out, yup. As further evidence, he notes that he knows way too many young women that ask where all the decent single men have gone to. Really William, you talk with that many young single women? Seems kind of… I don’t know… odd. But anyway, what’s his solution? Why what the Founding Fathers believed in! And that’s being industriousness (nothing wrong with that), marriage (ummm… okay), and religion (whatever dude).

BTW, regarding his call for dudes to get off the couch, put the controller down, and get a job; I know plenty of dudes who spend all day long playing because they can’t find one! And they’d give their left nut for a job, ANY job. Sorry William, but when you spend hours upon hours sending emails to prospective employers via Craiglist, knowing full well that no one will respond, and especially after eating instant noodles for the 15th day in a row, it’s amazing how a few short and sweet hours in Halo can do wonders for the soul.

All kidding aside, it’s a very good thing this game didn’t become a huge hit, because if more people actually knew about one particular part in the latter half, the National Organization for Women would have an army of protestors in front of Gearbox Software and 2K Games’ HQs this very second.

So for those who don’t know, it’s when you finally enter the alien mothership and encounter all the women who were kidnapped early on. They’re all naked and in the process of being… “molested” by their alien kidnappers (or post whatever and are trapped to be more exact)… plus begging for Duke to save them. So what does he do? He kills them all. Despite their screams for mercy, Duke just callously states “You’re not even human anymore” and “It’s better this way” as he blows them away without remorse or hesitation (though I guess in the player’s defense, you have no actual means to help).

I’m not an idiot; some folks actually get off on some stuff, and whatever floats your boat! Seriously. But such brutal, point blank violence towards women is rather jaw-dropping, especially in a mass market video game. For the record, I’m into some crazy ass things personally, so it takes a LOT to make me go “what in the f*ck” and this is one of the few instances. Anyhow, what’s my point? Not asking for the game to be banned or anything like that, I’m just super shocked that it managed to actually land on store shelves. It’s an observation more than anything else.

If anything, it’s also the sole reason why I haven’t tossed the game into the trash bin once I realize the game was rubbish. I feel the need to hold onto it, for purely historical reasons. Oh, and on a total side note, I know one of the girls in the video! Sup Mallory. She more than anyone can tell you all the creep crap I’m into.

Since we crank out so many stories each week some really good ones get lost in the cracks. And since so many new people visit Guyism every day (thank you), we thought we’d take some time on the weekends to share a few classics that many of our newer readers may have missed.

Have you ever been out on a date with a woman and gotten the feeling she’s not listening to anything you’re saying? Trust me, she’s trying very hard to focus on the words coming out of your mouth. However she’s much more preoccupied by all the thoughts running through her head. She’s ten steps ahead of you and will most likely spend the entire date trying to predict the answers to the following questions.

7 Who will pay the bill?
Women start stressing about this as soon as you both sit down at the table. Will you be offended if she doesn’t offer to pay (ungrateful bitch!) or will you be offended if she does do the slow-motion “let me get my wallet” move? Put her fears to rest by telling her to order anything she wants (on or off the dollar menu) because this meal is on you.

6 What happens next?
Everything is going super great on the date and you’re happy that J-Date finally pulled through for you. However, she’s debating if you expect to come home with her or if you think she’s a giant slut for even thinking that. Make your intentions clear from the outset by subtly sliding a handful of condoms across the table and mouthing “later.”

5 Do I actually like him?
You’re funny, charming, and good-looking in the candle light. As you tell another hilarious story about the time you set you set a pledge on fire in college, she’s trying to decide if she wants to date you. Solve this problem by making her fall in love with you immediately. Instant love can generally be created by making sure she has endless drink refills.

4 Am I making sense?
As she rambles on about co-worker drama and its relationship to problems with her mother, she’s simultaneously asking herself what the fuck she is talking about. She wants to make a good impression — and in an attempt to do so continually finds herself telling stories with no end. Save her the embarrassment by constantly interrupting with your own semi-related stories.

3 What is he looking for?
Whether you went on this date looking for a girlfriend or looking for a one-night stand, you know exactly what you want. Now she’s attempting to interpret what you want by over analyzing everything you say. Stop making her read between the lines by spelling it out for her — “my friends dared my $100 to ask you on a date, after this I will never see you again.”

2 What will my friends think?
Women get off on judging each other, especially their very own friends. Even if she is falling madly in love with you, she’s still thinking about what her friends will say. Assure her that her friends will love you by being extra-good-looking, extra-funny, extra-nice, and extra-rich. It’s truly that easy!

1 Do I still look okay?
She left her house with perfectly straight hair and smudge-free make-up. However you’re now halfway done with your ribs dinner and she’s stressing about what’s in her teeth and how to get that lump of sauce out of her hair without you noticing. Make her feel more comfortable by smearing sauce all over yourself to the point that you’re asked to leave the restaurant for lewd and indecent behavior.

The Style Blogger gives us some more menswear inspired women looks featuring the beautiful Helen Weselcouch. Beautiful women wearing menswear? We’re there.

Hypebeast gets the drop on the collaboration between Tommy Hilfiger and G.H. Bass & Co.

NATO watch straps and selvedge denim have been extremely popular over the past few years. Paul from Dreams of Perfection showcases a piece that combines the two.

What woman could love this hideous monster???

When provided with several types of men, the ones they found least attractive were ones who were smiling in the photo. Even when compared to ones who looked sad or afraid.

The type of man found most attractive by the women polled? Men who looked strong and proud or, bizarrely, men with their hands raised in the air.

Men were the exact opposite in the study, finding women who smiled most attractive while women who looked strong and proud were the least attractive.

So, if you want to get a chick, my suggestion would be to puff out your chest, put on one of those t-shirts with fake muscles on it, and walk around like you’re the “Sure” guy in those old deodorant commercials. Women will flock to you like, uh, a bunch of illogical harpies who like guys who resemble the rape tree from “Evil Dead”. Still counts.

Why So Serious? Because Chicks Dig It! [Good via Gizmodo]

I don’t really blame that chick for starting a fight at all. That girl in the Adidas hoodie is rocking the stage with some serious moves that both pop and lock and this stereotypical assless Russian broad has to wander through doing some sort of half-assed humpty hump? She deserves to get her head yanked around for that insult.

Either way, the winner of the video is clearly that daschund. If someone drops a key in my hallway, my dog reacts like there’s a nuclear attack being committed by some guy in a sausage costume. Meanwhile, that dog wandered into the set of “Step Up 3: The Battle for St. Petersburg” and it just leisurely walks across the stage looking for a nap. Have to respect that.

Girl Fight At The Dance Battle [Buzzfeed]

The one thing that bothers me about the video is the claim that bras’ pokiness and discomfort is somehow men’s fault. I mean, sure, when bras were invented, men were the primary inventors and probably didn’t care much about women’s happiness. And it kind of makes sense that you’d want women to feel uncomfortable in bras so they’d be more likely to take them off. Hmm. Maybe these women are onto something. Look forward to my new line of Porcupine Hair underwear in stores soon!

What Would You Ask the Bra Genie? [The Hairpin]

That remake of 'Beetlejuice' just got sexy.

Slayen created the Barbie as part of the first ever National Eating Disorders Awareness Week.

Though the doll has a ubiquitous influence with female body image issues, Slayen doesn’t blame Barbie for her illness, saying to the Today Show, “I’m not blaming Barbie — she’s one small factor, an environmental factor. I’m blond and blue-eyed and I figured that was what I was supposed to look like. She was my idol. It impacted the way I looked at myself.”

It’s kind of depressing that girls have been so heavily impacted by what should just be a fun children’s toy. I can’t say what the creators’ actual intent was, but I’d imagine it was supposed to be child escapism rather than a guideline for how to live your life. Mattel redesigned the doll in the late 90s to give it a more “realistic” build, but even that seems to still make this real version of Barbie look like an transgender version of the monsters in “Space Jam”.

At least the Ken doll never got in my head. Yeah he was pretty and sandy haired with a chiseled body. But his lack of a penis kind of made you go, “Well, clearly this isn’t something I want to be.” What’s the point of banging out Barbie for decades if the best you can do is the equivalent of a teenage dry hump and find solace in your immense collection of colorful shirts and pants.

Barbie Doll With Life-Sized Proportions Is Ridiculous, Scary [Jezebel]

Baking a cake also showed a steep drop with only 20 percent of the women under 30 polled saying they know how compared to 45 percent for older generations.

On the plus side, the women under 30 are proving more adept at traditionally male activities; ovr 70 percent of women under 30 polled say they often take out the trash, 77 percent mow the lawn, and 70 percent say they manage their car being washed [ED. NOTE: Hopefully in bikinis to raise money for their cheerleader friends].

I’m not entirely sure what to take away from this survey. Will being able to make cake and sew make me more likely to find a foxy professional woman to fill that void in their skill-set? Or should I stop taking out the trash in the hopes that a strapping young woman will come over and save me from my own excessive waste, like a more romantic version of “2 Girls 1 Cup”? Every time I think I have all the answers, female empowerment changes all the questions.

Generation Y women losing ‘female’ skills such as cooking, ironing and sewing [News.com.au]

Unfortunately, those are all the details left by brahnnosaurusrex thus far, other than one more picture indicating there are many other — possibly even crazier and clingier — notes (and possibly pictures of the lady in question) to come.

Here’s a tip: When writing a note, inserting “LOL” into it multiple times, no matter how charming you think that is, is bound to come off completely insane. These notes read like she wrote them, cackling maniacally in between staring at a photo of the dude (possibly with her blood smeared on it) surrounded by lit candles. While that may be “insanity sexy”, it’s probably not going to win anyone over in a meaningful way.

I also have to question her business sense in that last note. Personally, I wouldn’t buy cheesecake from a restaurant that also sold cock. Just seems like a mixing bowl I’d want no part of.

UPDATE: An image of the upstanding young lass is now in the original post of the Bodybuilding.com thread, linked below. You would hit it.

love notes from a stalker(pics)(reallife)(strongwtf)(*LOL*)(srs) [Bodybuilding.com Forum]

I’m a guy but I think Barbie’s pretty awesome. Blond hair, doesn’t need to eat, nice boobs, she seems like a great deal. But having been around penetrating girls’ sanity for like a century, Mattel has made some missteps with the doll. Here are the big (absurd) ones.

In 1965, Mattel came out with Slumber Party Barbie. Along with the Barbie doll, the package also came with pink fuzzy bathroom slippers, a scale that read 110 pounds, and a book entitled: “How to Lose Weight” whose contents read, in entirety, “Don’t Eat” (it was much easier to get a book deal in 1965). Apparently that upset some folks for A) Saying the fact that you weigh 110 pounds means you still need to lose weight, B) For a book telling girls not to eat, and C) Expecting girls to know how to read books.

1992 saw a lot of crazy things…Presidential candidates playing saxophone on shows where the host encourages viewers to bark loudly and, more importantly, Teen Talk Barbie. And while Barbie said traditional vacuous stuff like “Will I ever have enough clothes?” or “Wanna have a pizza party?” (ignore the fact if Barbie ate anything other than dried lettuce she couldn’t keep her sexy body), she made an uproar when one of her phrases was “Math class is tough!” The American Association of University Women bashed Barbie and Mattel for implying girls couldn’t do math. Then they went back to braiding their hair and asking daddy for a pony, I’d assume.

Ken has always been Barbie’s man of choice even though people, most notably hacky comedians, always speculated that Ken might enjoy the company of other gentlemen more than Barbie. Well, that speculation really came to a head when Ken decided to prance around in the outfit pictured above as “Earring Magic Ken”. Now sure, he just seems like a regular Joe, just hanging out, being a man in his purple mesh shirt and vest. But note the ring object around his neck…yes folks, it appears to be a chrome cock ring. In fact, the doll was so gay that it became the highest selling Ken doll in Mattel history, primarily due to its kitsch appeal amongst gay men and Asian guys in need of cock rings.

Barbie was always kind of a whore for cross-promotion, be it for the WNBA or Nascar or Beastiality so 1997′s Barbie partnership with Oreo seemed pretty run of the mill. Only, since Mattel always makes a white Barbie and a black Barbie since political correctness set in, having a black doll that says “Oreo” on the front (“Oreo” being a phrase that says a black person is “black on the outside but white on the inside”) may have sent the wrong message. The doll was pulled from the shelves and that cartoon Chips Ahoy guy was beaten violently during a protest rally to send a message to Nabisco.

1997 proved to be a crapty year for Barbie when Mattel released a new doll called “Share a Smile Becky”, which came complete with a pink wheelchair. They probably all patted themselves on the back for that one…that is until a 17 year-old girl with cerebral palsy tried to put the doll in Barbie’s Dream House and couldn’t get its wheelchair through the doorway. Mattel would fix the problem in future Barbie homes rather than fessing up to the simple belief they held that said that disabled people should live their lives in Barbie’s garage with her car since disabled people in wheelchairs are all basically like Transformers anyway.

In 2003, Saudi Arabia proved its dedication to being pro-women by banning Barbie dolls in its country. The progressively-named Committee for the Propagation of Virtue and Prevention of Vice had the following to say (stunner, they blame the Jews):

“Jewish Barbie dolls, with their revealing clothes and shameful postures, accessories and tools are a symbol of decadence to the perverted West. Let us beware of her dangers and be careful.”

Middle Eastern girls didn’t have to go dollless for long though, as a doll designed solely for them called “Fulla” soon hit the streets. The doll was a huge success, making hundreds of millions of sanddollars. And she even comes with her own burka! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen a doll and been like, “Darnit I wish her whorish calves weren’t exposed.” Well, problem solved!

Since we crank out so many stories each week some really good ones get lost in the cracks. And since so many new people visit Guyism every day (thank you), we thought we’d start taking some time on the weekends to share some classics that many of our newer readers may have missed.

Women’s magazines continue to be wonderful publications full of great tips, provocative articles, and made-up sex positions that could cripple the most flexible woman. Their articles about dealing with men, written by a seventh grade girl with raging hormones, dispense phenomenal advice for how to snag a man, satisfy him in bed, and make him fall in love with you. And by phenomenal I mean, what are they talking about? Human men? If women actually took this advice we would repel all men and turn into cat ladies before we turned 30.

7 You’re craving acrobatic sex
Magazines claims that our boyfriends are bored in bed and it’s our responsibility to turn up the heat by trying a few new tricks in bed. And by tricks they mean pulling out our Cirque du Soleil skills and doing moves on men calling things like the “singing octopus” and the “bipolar monkey.” Note to magazine editors: Try writing about sex positions that already exist rather than just pairing up random animals and adjectives and praying the readers know how to fill in the blanks.

6 We can trick you into relationships
According to these magazines all men are commitment-phobic and would prefer getting monthly back waxes over talking about “relationships.” As women its our job to convince you through underhanded planning and deceitful activities that you actually do want to be our boyfriend. If everything goes according to the magazine’s plan, we’ll be married with six kids without ever having to have the “where is this relationship going” talk.

5 You’re intimidated by our success
These articles send out all kinds of confusing signals about how we’re supposed to act around you. On one hand you really like us, on the other hand you’re scared shitless we’re going to out-do you. We should have a good job, but not better than yours. We should be funny, but under no circumstances funnier than you. And finally we should be smart, but always let you feel like you’re teaching us something. So basically we should be lower-level executives who can tell a decent knock-knock joke while simultaneously asking you to explain the joke’s punch line to us.

4 You like us natural AND with make-up
Every other week these magazines take a poll asking men if they like women wearing make-up or going natural. And in every other survey the results change. So we don’t know if we should burn all our mascara in a giant go-natural-bonfire or run out to Costco and buy a year’s supply of neon blue eyeshadow. We’re stuck leaving half our face completely make-up-free and doing the other half of our face up like a drag queen in training.

3 We should like sports, but not more than you
These magazines claims all men love sports and they love a girl who gets sports. However men are extremely turned off by women yelling at the players on TV louder than they can. It’s basically ideal if we show up to watch the game wearing a sexy jersey, agree with you every time you get mad about a play, and know the difference between footballs, basketballs, and blue balls.

2 Body language is a science
Magazines loves consulting body language experts to analyze a couple’s relationship simply by their stance. On one hand, it’s truly amazing people can get paid to say things like “her arm is at a right angle which means she wants him to mow the lawn tomorrow.” On the other hand, it’s a less legitimate theory than creationism. Sure if a girl is slapping a guy, I’ll buy that her body language is saying she’s not happy with him. But it’s insane for women to start looking at the way their boyfriend hugs them to determine if he’s feeling confident in his bedroom skills.

1 You will have sex anywhere, anytime, with anyone
These magazines want us to believe that while we have a fully functioning brain that’s capable of thinking about a span of different topics throughout the day, men can’t focus on anything for more than two seconds without thinking about sex. In fact this problem is so bad that it’s becoming a routine part of marriage for men to sleep with 17 assorted women/anything-with-holes and then go to sex rehab.

If we don't fight for her right to bare legs, who will?

The new dress code would impose a $35-$700 fine upon any woman caught wearing miniskirts, low-cut jeans, or anything remotely revealing.

Other causal effects of the ban would extend to sunbathing, football in public places, and “blasphemy.”

People in positions of power in Castellammare di Stabia believe that the decision will only affect people who are “rowdy” or “unruly.”

I don’t entirely get how wearing a miniskirt promotes “unruly” behavior. I mean, yes, men can be scummy in response to women being sexily dressed, but isn’t that the men’s fault? I can put a treat under my dog’s nose and get her not to eat it, but they can’t stop some Italian dudes from yelling about fingerbanging strangers just because a girl’s wearing a miniskirt? Ridiculous. Why not just ban sunshine and delicious pastas while you’re at it, Castellammare di Stabia? A SCOFF FOR YOU, SIRS.

Italian seaside town planning miniskirt ban [BBC]

[T]he advisor concluded: ”Who would hire you looking like that?”

”I said I could take the piercings out but they look a lot worse when they are out.”

“The guy said: ‘on first impressions do you think anyone would hire you?’ He said: ‘look at it this way if you were to stand behind a wall – or put a paper bag over your face do you think you would have a better chance?’

“He then backtracked and tried to say that he was sorry and hoped I wasn’t offended but I was.

“He talked to me as though I was just going through a phase in my life, but this is my lifestyle choice, and this is who I am.”

I get that it’s easy to go “Oh, poor you!” about this girl. But seriously, look at her again. You can’t deface your body so flagrantly — looking roughly like someone who had a severe accident at a construction site — and expect that people are going to take you seriously as a business person. Not to mention the fact she looks like John Belushi. Like, how he looks now. No sympathy.

Tattooed woman ‘told to put bag over head by Jobcentre’ [Telegraph]

Drunk, sluttily dressed, and perfectly content to shop at Walmart? Be still my beating heart!

I’d be neglecting my duties if I didn’t point out that there’s an 80-percent chance that this is just the most brazen date rape ever. He probably just picked up a whole lot of Robitussin in aisle six, picked up some Slim Jims, then found her in the “little girl shorts” section and had a brilliant scheme. People may trash Walmart for its big box mentality, but you really can’t doubt the ease of finding everything you need.

“Raunch culture” has set back women in Western societies more than 50 years, says a visiting Australian feminist.

Melinda Tankard Reist, a founder of a group called Collective Shout, which names and shames companies using sexual images of girls, says we are raising children in a “pornographic landscape”.

“[Women's] liberation has now come to be seen as the ability to wrap your legs around a pole, or flash your breasts in public, or send a sexual image of yourself to your boyfriend so he can pass it around his mates. Girls think that empowerment lies in their ability to be hot and sexy.”

Is ‘raunch culture’ damaging to young girls? [The New Zealand Herald via Fark]