Guyism » WWE

A stellar compilation of professional wrestlers beating up inanimate objects

Douglas Charles — Thu, 24 May 2012 16:20:29 +0000

You’re probably going to find this video of pro wrestlers beating up inanimate objects to either be of the funniest things you’ve ever seen or one of the dumbest. There probably isn’t much middle ground here. Either way it’s worth a watch.

I, personally, found it to be very inspirational. The next time my laptop is acting up I’m just going to toss it on the floor, rip off my shirt, and drop a few knees and elbows on it to teach it a lesson. Wooo!

via The Big Lead

WWE ‘Monday Night Raw’ expanding to three hours

K. Thor Jensen — Fri, 18 May 2012 02:58:08 +0000

Is America ready for three solid hours of sweaty dudes fake fighting? Are you? Upfront season continues, and the USA Network made a pretty intense announcement about their flagship program. Raw has been the network’s cash cow for several decades now, despite several booms and busts in the pro wrestling business, and with the show nearing it’s 1,000th episode, they’re going to milk it for a little bit more. Deadline is reporting that with the 1,000th episode on July 23rd, Raw will extend itself to a three-hour live show from two hours. Three hours is a hell of a lot of time for a wrestling program to take up, and when WCW Nitro tried it in 1998, the company died less than two years later.

What do you think? Will this latest display of hubris by Vince McMahon and company be the final nail in the coffin of professional wrestling? Or will fake fighting enjoy a new resurgence with the star power of… Jesus, I can barely name three active WWE wrestlers anymore? You tell me.

The 25 hottest female wrestlers right now

Douglas Charles — Wed, 09 May 2012 19:15:53 +0000

Who is the hottest female wrestler active today? Is it a WWE Diva? A TNA Knockout? Or is she from a smaller independent organization north of the border? Let’s find out.

Jessica Alba wrestled former WWE star John Morrison… wait, what?

Douglas Charles — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 12:29:24 +0000

No, seriously. Jessica Alba wrestled former WWE star John Morrison. In a wrestling ring. For reals. Well… sort of, but it did happen.

Alba stepped into a wrestling ring in Los Angeles against the recently released WWE wrestler John Morrison for what is being reported as a commercial for YouTube. There really aren’t any other details yet on what the point of the commercial is or when or where it will be airing, but just the fact that it exists is great news for men everywhere.

The Daily Mail has a whole bunch more really hot pics, plus we were able to scrounge up this video, proving that Jessica Alba really did wrestle former WWE star John Morrison.

Amazing.

Smackdown! Fierce Jessica Alba puts a wrestler in a headlock as she steps in the ring for new YouTube commercial [Daily Mail]

Brock Lesnar returns to WWE, F5s John Cena (with video)

Chris Spags — Tue, 03 Apr 2012 04:00:17 +0000

Coming off a loss to The Rock at WWE’s flagship WrestleMania XXVII event, John Cena was having a no-good very bad week. And here’s a way it just got made worse: former UFC Heavyweight champion Brock Lesnar returned to WWE and threw him around violently.

If there’s a better return to WWE’s Monday Night Raw than the one Brock Lesnar just had, I’ve yet to see it.

PS ~~Let us know if a better quality embed surfaces in the comments. We’ll keep an eye out.~~ Updated with a better version that gets right to the Brock money shot (uh..figuratively). In the mean time: Brock Lesnar returning to WWE…great thing or greatest thing?

The 66 sexiest WWE Divas of all time

Douglas Charles — Mon, 02 Apr 2012 12:00:21 +0000

With WWE WrestleMania 28 now in the books we thought this would be the perfect time to take a look back at the history of the WWE Diva. When setting out on this project we had no idea just how many women had entered the squared circle for the legendary wrestling organization. As you can see there have been a lot of them, but these are the sexiest WWE Divas of all-time. Begin your debating… now.

66 Chyna (Joanie Laurer)

1997-2001: First woman to qualify for the King of the Ring tournament. Co-Intercontinental Champion in 1999. Became Women’s Champion in 2000. Appeared nude in the November 2000 and January 2002 issues of Playboy.

65 Jazz (Carlene Moore-Begnaud)

2001-2004: Two-time Women’s Champion, once in 2002 and once in 2003.

64 Nidia (Guenard)

2001-2004: Co-won the first season of Tough Enough.

63 Vickie Guerrero

2005-Present: Former general manager of SmackDown! and Raw. Currently manages several wrestlers including Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger.

62 Ariel (Shelly Martinez)

2005-2007: Wrestled almost exclusively for the ECW brand of WWE.

61 Cherry (Kara Drew)

2006-2008: Best known for being the manager of the tag team Deuce ‘n Domino.

60 Natalya (Neidhart)

2007-Present: Won the Divas Championship in 2010. She is the daughter of former wrestler Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart.

59 Miss Jackie (Jackie Gayda)

2002-2005: Known for one of the worst matches in wrestling history, referred to by wrestling fans as “That Jackie Gayda Match.”

58 B.B. (Cathy Dingman)

1999-2000: Once competed for the Women’s Championship in a “swimming pool match,” but was eliminated.

57 Tamina Snuka (Sarona Reiher)

2010-Present: Known for her father’s (Jimmy Snuka) signature move, the Superfly Splash.

56 Krissy Vaine (Kristin Eubanks)

2007: Never actually wrestled a match, but did interfere in one!

55 Jacqueline (Moore)

1998–2004: Won the Women’s Championship in 1998 and 2000. Became the third woman to become the Crusierweight Champion in 2004 (the other two coming when the title was under WCW).

54 Kaitlyn (Celeste Bonin)

2010-Present: Won WWE NXT Season 3. Was part of a tag team known as The Chickbusters with AJ.

53 Tori (Terri Poch)

1998-2001: Participated in the first ever WWF women’s Hardcore match.

52 Victoria (Lisa Marie Varon)

2000-2009: Debuted as one of The Godfather’s “hos.” Won the Women’s Championship in 2002 and 2004. Also won the first women’s steel cage match in WWE history.

51 Sharmell (Sullivan-Huffman)

2005-2007: Mostly served as a valet for her real-life husband Booker T.

50 Katie Lea (Katarina Waters)

2008–2010: Was the on-screen sister of wrestler Paul Burchill. Wrestled several times unsuccessfully for the Women’s Championship.

49 Lilian Garcia

1999-2009; 2011-Present: The first WWE Diva to remain with the promotion for 10 years, mostly because she is the ring announcer.

48 Ivory (Lisa Moretti)

1999–2005: Won the Women’s Championship twice in 1999 and once in 2000. Was the other participant in the first ever WWF women’s hardcore match.

47 Beth Phoenix (Carolan)

2006-Present: Won the Women’s Championship in 2007, 2008, and 2010, and the Divas Championship in 2011.

46 Stephanie McMahon

1999-Present: The Executive Vice President, Creative of WWE. Daughter of the owner. Won the Women’s Championship in 2000.

45 Miss Kitty (Stacy Carter)

1999–2001: Won the Women’s Championship in 1999, after which she flashed her breasts to the crowd in the first case of intentional nudity in the company’s history.

44 Muffy (Caryn Mower)

2000: Stephanie McMahon’s personal trainer for two appearances on Smackdown!.

43 Naomi (Trinity McCray)

2010-Present: Finished second on WWE NXT Season 3. Currently a dancer and valet for wrestler Brodus Clay.

42 Jillian Hall (Fletcher)

2005-2010: Won the Divas Championship in 2009, but lost it on the same night. Also managed JBL to the United States Championship.

41 Sunny (Tammy Lynn Sytch)

1995-1998: Considered one of the very first Divas in WWE history. Won Pro Wrestling Illustrated’s Manager of the Year Award in 1996.

40 AJ (Lee)

2011-Present: Was part of a tag team known as The Chickbusters with Kaitlyn. The current on-screen boyfriend of the now former World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan.

39 Amy Weber

2004-2005: Was part of the 2004 WWE Diva Search and became JBL’s “image consultant.” Quit because of alleged sexual harassment.

38 Layla El

2006-Present: Won the Women’s Championship in 2010, becoming the first Diva Search winner to have won the title.

37 Cameron (Ariane Andrew)

2012-Present: Was the first wrestler eliminated on the 2011 season of season of Tough Enough. Now one of the backup dancers and valets for Brodus Clay.

36 Melina (Perez)

2005-2011: Five-time champion having won the Women’s Championship twice in 2007 and once in 2009, as well as the Divas Championship once in 2009 and and once in 2010.

35 Ryan Shamrock (Alicia Webb)

1999: Played the on-screen younger sister of wrestler Ken Shamrock. Supposedly starred with wrestler Val Venis in a fictional pornographic film.

34 Debra (Marshall)

1998-2002: Won the Women’s Championship in 1999. Briefly played the role of Lieutenant Commissioner, the assistant to Commissioner Mick Foley.

33 Mickie James

DATES: A six-time champion, having won the Women’s Championship twice in 2006, and once each in 2007, 2008 and 2010, plus the Divas Championship once in 2009.

32 Mrs. Yamaguchi (Shian-Li Tsang)

1998: Played the the on-screen wife of Yamaguchi-San, the manager to the Japanese stable of wrestlers called Kaientai.

31 Rosa Mendes (Milena Roucka)

2008-Present: Participated in the 2006 WWE Diva Search. Won a Slammy Award for the Best Use of Exercise Equipment in 2010. Currently manages the tag team of Primo and Epico.

30 Joy Giovanni

2004-2005: The first and only winner of the WWE Rookie Diva of the Year Award.

29 Dawn Marie (Psaltis)

2002-2005: Married WWE Diva Torrie Wilson’s real-life father Al Wilson, then proceeded to kill him due to all their vigorous sex.

28 Lita (Amy Dumas)

1999-2006: Won the WWE Women’s Championship four times, once in 2000 and 2004 and twice in 2006. Had very public off-screen relationships with wrestlers Matt Hardy and Edge.

27 Carmella DeCesare

2004: Runner-up in the 2004 WWE Diva Search in a program that saw five other contestants also go on to be Divas for WWE. Playboy Playmate of the Year in 2004.

26 Candice Michelle (Beckman-Ehrlich)

2004-2009: Won the Women’s Championship in 2007. Was the first former Diva Search contestant to win a WWE title. Posed nude for the April 2006 issue of Playboy.

25 Terri Runnels

1996-2004: Best known for managing Goldust, as well as a a wet T-shirt contest between her and Trish Stratus on Raw. Very briefly held the WWE Hardcore Championship.

24 (tie) Brie Bella (Brianna Garcia)

2008-Present: Often wrestles as a tag team with her twin sister Nikki Bella. Known to change places with her sister to cheat in singles matches. Won the Divas Championship in 2011.

24 (tie) Nikki Bella (Stephanie Garcia)

2008-Present: Often wrestles as a tag team with her twin sister Brie Bella. Known to change places with her sister to cheat in singles matches. Has won no titles yet.

22 Ashley Massaro

2005-2008: Won the WWE the Diva Search in 2005. Lost a Women’s Championship match against Melina at WrestleMania 23. Appeared nude in the April 2007 issue of Playboy.

21 Christy Hemme

2004-2005: Won the 2004 Diva Search. Twice wrestled Trish Stratus for the Women’s Championship, losing both times. Posed nude in the April 2005 issue of Playboy.

20 Eve Torres

2008-Present: The 2007 WWE Diva Search winner. Won the Divas Championship twice, once in 2010 and once in 2011.

19 Miss Elizabeth (Hulette)

1985-1992: Best known for her role as the manager of wrestler Randy “Macho Man” Savage.

18 Molly Holly (Nora Greenwald)

2000-2005: A two time Women’s Champion, winning the belt in 2002 and 2003, as well as a one-time Hardcore Champion, for an hour. Was on-screen cousins with wrestlers Bob Holly and Crash Holly.

17 Brooke Adams

2007: Competed in the the 2006 WWE Diva Search. Mostly just appeared on “Extreme Exposé,” a weekly dance segment on the ECW TV show.

16 Rochelle Loewen

2004-2005: Competed for the title of SmackDown! Rookie Diva of the Year. She didn’t win.

15 Kristal (Marshall)

2005-2007: Has the distinction of competing in a Fatal Four-Way Bra and Panties match with Michelle McCool, Ashley Massaro and Jillian Hall.

14 Tiffany (Taryn Terrell)

2008-2010: Began as the Assistant General Manager of the ECW show. Once beat the then current Women’s Champion Michelle McCool by disqualification.

13 Lena Yada

2007-2008: Mostly served as a backstage interviewer, although she did win a 16-Diva tag team match – her only televised match.

12 Rebecca DiPietro

2006-2007: Was mostly a backstage interviewer. Participated as a “Lumberjill” for a Women’s Championship match in 2006. Appeared in Playboy in 2001 and was a Playboy “Cyber Girl of the Week” in 2004.

11 Michelle McCool

2004-2011: Became the inaugural Divas Champion in 2008. Won the Women’s Championship twice, once in 2009 and once in 2010. Unified the two titles in late 2010, making her a four-time champion.

10 Kelly Kelly (Barbie Blank)

2006-Present: Won the Divas Championship in 2011. Was initially known for a weekly segment on the ECW TV show called “Kelly’s Exposé” in which she would perform a striptease.

9 Trish Stratus (Stratigias)

2000-Present: Has won seven Women’s Championships (the most ever), once in 2001, twice in 2002, and once each in 2003, 2004, 2005, and 2006 and is a one-time Hardcore Champion. Was named “Diva of the Decade” for the 2000s.

8 Gail Kim

2003-2004: Her debut match was a seven-woman battle royal for the Women’s Championship, which she won.

7 Sable (Rena Lesnar)

1996-1999, 2003-2004: Won the Women’s Championship in 1998. Appeared nude in the April 1999, September 1999, and March 2003 issues of Playboy.

6 Maria (Kanellis)

2004-2010: Despite her long run she never won any championships though she did wrestle for the title unsuccessfully. Posed nude for the April 2008 edition of Playboy.

5 Aksana (Zivile Raudoniene)

2010-Present: Married Goldust on NXT so she could remain in the United States. Won her in-ring debut defeating Natalya in January 2012.

4 Maryse (Ouellet)

2006-2011: Won the Divas Championship in 2008 and held it longer than anyone in the history of the title – seven months. Won it a second time in 2010. Appeared on the cover and inside Playboy’s 2007 Girls of Canada calendar.

3 Alicia Fox (Victoria Crawford)

2008-Present: Won the Divas Championship in 2010. Lost to Melina and Mickie James in two other title matches.

2 Torrie (Wilson)

2001-2008: Lost a Women’s Championship match against Molly Holly in 2003, the closest she ever came to winning a title. Appeared nude in the May 2003 and March 2004 issues of Playboy.

1 Stacy Keibler

2001-2006: Became WWE Chairman Vince McMahon’s personal assistant after performing a table dance in the ring in 2002. Lost a Women’s Championship title match to Trish Stratus in 2004.

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WWE WrestleMania 28 preview

Douglas Charles — Fri, 30 Mar 2012 19:10:50 +0000

WrestleMania 28 has something for everyone: A marquee event with two huge names in Rock/Cena. A showdown between two grizzled veterans in Taker/HHH. Even a technical clinic to please the most jaded members of the Internet wrestling community in Punk/Jericho.

John Cena talks Wrestlemania, The Rock, and more

Douglas Charles — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 18:15:56 +0000

After a year of build-up, The Rock and John Cena will headline Wrestlemania XXVIII on April 1 in Miami. On Tuesday, Cena sat down for a podcast with SI to discuss his real-life issues with The Rock, what his insane schedule is like, and more.

Oh good, there’s a Hulk Hogan sex tape

Douglas Charles — Wed, 07 Mar 2012 16:55:46 +0000

Word on the street is that there is a Hulk Hogan sex tape being shopped to various “film” studios. No reports yet on whether there’s any actual “Hulking Up” going in it.

According to TMZ, the footage features Hulk getting undressed and a naked, unidentified brunette, who is not his ex-wife Linda or his current wife Jennifer McDaniel. Oh, and in the footage Hulk sports a thong-shaped tan line. I’m sorry. He also talks about how he’s “started to work out again.” I think that’s more than enough information for today, don’t you?

Maybe the worst part is that there’s no doubt that it’s actually him because his lawyer, David Houston, has already spoken out about it.

“Terry Bollea is appalled at the unauthorized release of a secretly filmed video.”

He adds, “[Hulk] neither approved of the filming nor the release of the same. It is clearly an outrageous invasion of privacy and breach of trust if it is genuine.”

If it is genuine, huh? I guess the only way to know for sure is if he tears his shirt in half, cups his hands to his ears, and legdrops the woman in question. If that’s on the tape, there shall be no doubt that it’s the Hulk.

Hulk Hogan I’m the VICTIM in a Sex Tape Setup [TMZ]

9 wholly unnecessary licensed children’s products

Chris Spags — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 13:00:34 +0000

Since we crank out so many stories each week some really good ones get lost in the cracks. And since so many new people visit Guyism every day (thank you), we thought we’d take some time on the weekends and holidays to share a few classics that many of our newer readers may have missed.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Just because kids are idiots who’ll buy anything with their favorite character’s face slapped on the box doesn’t mean that toy companies should take advantage of them. Here’s some of the most odious licensed crap to have ever been hawked as “fun” or “worth buying.”

9 WWF Thumb Wrestlers

What boy didn’t grow up and enjoy a flirtation with wrestling at some point in his life? And what boy doesn’t enjoy a good bout of physical competition of any sort? So you tie those two things together, add one plastic Hulk Hogan and one plastic Roddy Piper (because it’s logical to make one of the only free games people can play less cost-effective) and presto! You get this:

At first glance, you’d think Hogan and Piper must have also spent some time in the showers with Kamala because there’s no way of explaining their overly generous rectums otherwise. Fortunately, it’s okay…the holes are actually in the spine of the toys, not the bung. Still, thumb wrestling seems so much less innocent when there’s shirtless men involved and victory seems to entail forcibly sodomizing your opponent.

8 Spider-Man Web Shooters

One can only assume that Hasbro bought companies that had an excess of both rubber gloves and silly string when releasing this poor excuse for Spider-Man’s web. Or they just wanted a quick buck, which is stunning for a multinational corporation.

You could certainly see the appeal as a child of wanting to be like Spider-Man, with his web slinging him around, sticking from building to building. Then you can see less of an appeal when you actually buy the product and end up with one gloved hand (like Michael Jackson) shooting a sticky fluid at young young male friends while pretending that it’s web (also like Michael Jackson).

7 The Simpsons Don’t Have a Cow boardgame

Of course, the first thing that comes to mind with The Simpsons is how careful they are with their brand. Matt Groening and 20th Century Fox were never ones to latch The Simpsons name onto any old piece of crap, of course. So clearly a Simpsons dice game is going to be as revolutionary and unique as the show was.

Roll the 8 cubes which have pictures each of the 5 Simpsons. Try to match classic combinations like Homer and Marge, Bart and Homer or the 3 Simpson kids.

Players bet either against or with the dice roller. Losing bets go to the roller, winning bets come from the bank.

So hold on. This isn’t even a board game…it’s not even craps. It’s basically you rolling dice with little yellow people’s faces on them (which, for the record, you had to STICK ON YOURSELF…lazy child laborers at the factory not doing it for me), hoping that certain combinations come up. You wouldn’t see Ashy Larry with such an inferior product in the back alleys of Brooklyn or at the World Series of Dice, I guarantee you that much.

6 Ninja Turtles Vanilla Pudding Pies

I might be completely off base here, but I remember a different version of this pie pictured above that was yellow on the outside with green ooze on the inside. And even if that was just one of my drug-fueled 5 year-old hallucinations (of which there are many), this is still pretty heinous. Green foods of any sort are just gross, even if you’re a little kid and you really enjoy heinous things. Even ketchup, which is pretty much as simple a sell as you can get, couldn’t get something green off the ground…Heinz’s green ketchup line was discontinued in 2006.

Honestly, I don’t know why the Ninja Turtles made such a strong push towards food. I’m not sure how much stock I can put in the flavor habits of mutants who enjoyed thing like peanut butter and sardines on their pizza. Check out some of their other heinous foods here.

5 Hannah Montana Concert Candy

Sure, they’re delicious and not at all nutritious, but what immature tween with a hankering for sugar wouldn’t immediately start giggling when they see these? Then again, this was a pretty good compromise for Miley Cyrus. She’s probably not a huge fan of gummy treats but she certainly seems to have a hankering for boys and all their worldly goods, so for all we know, the phallic design may have been intentional.

4 Mario Bubble Bath

Granted, I’m not big on “bubble baths” or “personal hygiene” but this Mario bubble bath just seems like something I wouldn’t want. Mario could endorse a lot of products that I’d buy; Overalls, self-help books on how to overcome shortness, spring-loaded sneakers, even a grocer’s line of mushrooms…I’d line up for any of those. But when I picture a hairy Italian plumber having to run through a kingdom for days on end, eating all kinds of foreign foods and just working up a perpetual sweat, it’s not my first instinct to go, “Man, I’d love to smell like that fictional guy!”

Meanwhile, Bowser was powerful, daring, successful (he owned multiple castles, boats, AND flying ships) and probably smelled of the finest colognes and spices. I’m not saying Princess Peach should have picked him over Mario, but maybe she should have put a little more thought into it.

3 My Little Pony Ponyville Fancy Fashion Boutique

Girls are sugar and spice and everything nice. Apparently, the “everything nice” portion of things includes hay and horse crap because this little girl beauty kit with stuff like hair ties, shopping bags, hangers and other crap includes two perfume bottles. You can show me the prettiest pony in the world with the most lush mane and the most gorgeous physique and I can show 730 gangrenous bums who will still smell better than that pony. It’s basic Hobonomics.

2 Wonder Woman Lava Lamp

I’m doubting there are many kids who went after this one. Wonder Woman did some cool crap, sure, but I don’t think as a child anyone out there is trying to advertise their dedication to her craft.

But clearly someone out there has to have bought this. And to that person, I’m not going to say that there’s something wrong with Wonder Woman. I’m not even going to say that there’s something wrong with owning a lava lamp (it’s got lava, it supplies light, what more can you want). But when you think you need to get something to enrich your room’s ambiance and settle on a lava lamp adorned with Wonder Woman’s visage, you may need to reevaluate your priorities in life. Unless you’ve totally committed to the theme and also feature a bed made out of lassos and an invisible car that you ride to work every day. Though that may open you up to larger problems.

1 Hulk Hands

Hulk Hands could cure cancer and you’d imagine yourself looking like this guy above (assuming you’re equally as partial to tunics) and you’d probably think twice before wearing them around. On the plus side, they do awesome things like…make sounds when you hit them against things. So if you ever wanted to hear a silly growling smashing sound while hitting someone in the groin with padded hands, this might be the right purchase for you. Though I despise you for finding a way to take the humor and whimsy out of hitting someone in the groin.

—

Anything that you regrettably wasted your hard-earned kid money on? You know, the crispy dollar bills you got from that stranger in the van who called them “Keep A Secret” payments? Share them below! The suggestions, not your traumatic memories.

VIDEO: Looking forward to ‘Mass Effect 3′? Are you a fan of Freddie Prinze Jr.?

Matt Hawkins — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 14:30:51 +0000

Well you better enjoy both, since the two have become one.

I got a certain degree of flack, on account of my 10 Video Games To Look Out For In 2012 rundown from last week. Basically, a few folks were upset with the lack of Mass Effect 3. What’s the deal? Simple: BioWare’s track record has kinda sucked as of late, to put it mildly.

The less said about Dragon Age 2 the better, and their Star Wars MMO has tons of people playing it, but it’s a Star Wars MMO, what do you expect? But is it any good? Word on the street is that it’s no better than World of Warcraft, which is a bummer to say the least.

But not long ago, the following trailer for the third Mass Effect showed up. Which I hadn’t actually examined closely up until now. And I must say, it’s quite impressive. Also, in features Freddie Prinze Jr…

My favorite part is the contrast between Prinze hamming it up/totally getting into the mind of his character, and how static/robotic his realized avatar is, like every single BioWare character (yet another reason why I’m not the biggest fan of their stuff; it’s slick looking, but ultimately cold).

Anyhow, reaction among fans has not been kind to say the least…

Well, here’s the thing: in the first clip, he actually seems genuinely into the role, and the manner in which he expounds upon its virtues seems completely legit and sincere, not PR team crafted drivel. Still, it definitely is out of left field, his involvement with the game. Perhaps it’s because he is indeed such a fan…

So here’s a fun fact, and the main reason why I find him so fascinating. And no, it’s not because I find him such a good actor or anything. Here’s a fun fact: he’s such a big fan of professional wrestling, of the WWE in particular, that he took a break from acting a few years back to become a full-time writer for them. No kidding. From like 2008-09.

Even though they didn’t make a big deal of a big-time, Hollywood actor being part of the creative team, they definitely wanted to tap into his showbiz acumen. Which didn’t quite work out; from what I understand, because he wasn’t completely committed to the job of writing professional wrestling 24/7, he was eventually fired.

But according to Wikipedia, he’s back at a producer and director? Well as occasional on-air personality, like in this clip. Which is so unfunny that I’m not even going to embed it (and I normally dig pro wrestling of all kinds, even the really cheesy crap).

But yeah, Mass Effect 3 comes out on March 6.

VIDEO: Scott ‘Razor Ramon’ Hall on ESPN’s E:60 is a rough watch

Chris Spags — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 19:00:18 +0000

In the last decade or so, professional wrestling has seen a lot of men die before their time due to the rough lifestyle they lead. But ESPN’s E:60 story on former WWE/WCW star Scott “Razor Ramon” Hall is a tough watch. Pills, cocaine, alcohol…you name it, it took hold of him.

As you saw if you watched the piece all the way through, Hall entered rehab courtesy of WWE’s new policies regarding offering rehab to employees, regardless of their employment status (or lack thereof) with the company. But Hall has been in rehab ten times and, even though WWE has spent more on rehab for him than anyone else (according to WWE EVP Stephanie McMahon, well into the six figures), Hall continues to slide backwards.

Tough times for one of the more memorable performers in an industry full of colorful figures. Hall turned just 53 years old today.

Do Yourself a Favor and Watch the E:60 About Scott Hall [BroBible]

The Bella Twins, Nikki and Brie, are two good reasons to watch wrestling

Douglas Charles — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 20:00:02 +0000

Okay, now... fight!!

They may not be the greatest wrestlers in the world, but the Bella twins, Brie and Nikki, aren’t WWE Divas for their skills in the ring (that can’t be the reason, right?). They’re WWE Divas because they look like this in bikinis. You don’t even have to be a wrestling fan to appreciate talent like this (though if you are, follow me on Twitter where I bemoan the state of wrestling pretty much every Monday night and during pay per views). Perhaps if more matches between the Bellas and their opponents took place with them wearing swimwear in the vicinity of water then perhaps I wouldn’t complain so much about how bad the “sport” has gotten. Just a thought, Vince. (Note: Not really Vince McMahon’s Twitter account. Just a much better version of him.)

Celebrity dirt: Indiana State Fair to hold memorial after stage collapse plus more of today’s news

Douglas Charles — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 14:00:20 +0000

Indiana State Fair to re-open Monday with memorial ceremony
“More than 40 people were hospitalized after the disaster, authorities said.”

Brooke Hogan on nude photo backlash: Stop picking on me!
“I’m SO sick of people saying me and my dad are in some perverted relationship.”

Mike Myers signs on for Austin Powers 4
“It’s unclear if director Jay Roach wil return for the fourth installment, or what the plot with revolve around.”

Jessica Alba gives birth to daughter Haven Garner
“She was born on Saturday, weighed 7 lbs and was 19 inches long. Healthy and happy!”

Rights bought to Stephen King’s time travel novel about the JFK assassination. Wait, what?
“The tome, all 1000-pages of it, is set to hit stores in November and centers on an English teacher who goes through a time portal in an effort to stop the Kennedy assassination.”

Kristen Stewart is “gorgeous,” other Snow White director says
“For his Snow White, Tarsem cast … Lily Collins, looping her into a production that has already kicked off and which will hit theaters months ahead of Stewart’s in 2012.”

Emma Watson “perfect” for Beauty and the Beast
“Instead of a modernized take like this year’s ‘Beastly,’ consider del Toro’s movie to be a classic retelling of the tale as old as time.”

Rose McGowan raised by drag queens: “I’d be stoked to do a lesbian love scene”
“Homosexuality is comfortable for McGowan, who says she was raised by drag queens after she ran away from home at the age of 13.”

Brooke Burke and David Charvet wed
“After a five-year engagement, two kids together and a hot and steamy relationship, Brooke Burke and David Charvet have officially tied the knot.”

50 Cent and Goldie Hawn have a lunch date
“Lunch was especially sweet today cause I met 50 Cent. His smile lit up the room.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
Kevin Nash returns to WWE at SummerSlam and attacks champion CM Punk, costing him the title.

Celebrity dirt: The Dude’s house is for sale and more of today’s celebrity gossip

Douglas Charles — Thu, 28 Jul 2011 14:00:31 +0000

The Dude’s house is for sale for $3 million
“This a perfect candidate for a residential subdivision.”

Amy Winehouse’s Back to Black album re-enters Billboard Top 10
“The 2006 album, which includes her smash-hit Rehab, had been purchased more in the past five days than in the past three years…”

Blake Fielder-Civil: I could have saved Amy
“[Blake] had planned to stage an intervention of sorts when he got out of jail…”

WWE Diva: I fear “crazy stalker” wants to kill me
“he has sent ‘numerous terrifying letters to my home and left more than 50 voicemails on my personal cell phone all of which are extremely disturbing and delusional.’”

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills new cast revealed
“…Brandi Glanville – whose ex-husband Eddie Cibrian just married LeAnn Rimes – and businesswoman Dana Wilkey, will be featured as friends…”

Kat Von D got tattoo of Jesse James’ face right before break up
“Kat says she was scared about Jesse’s reaction…”

Jesse James & Kat Von D: Fighting over another woman before split
“Kat kept throwing some woman’s name out and arguing about how she didn’t like him living so far away.”

Speaker of the house triggers Lindsay Lohan lawsuit
“Lindsay Lohan has been sued by a guy who sold her speakers and installed audio and video equipment in her Venice house…”

Hugh Hefner: Crystal Harris lied about our sex life
“I feel sorry for Crystal.”

Kelly Rowland releases new album, says no Destiny’s Child reunion planned
“Rowland says she’s heard the rumors of a reunion … but she won’t be getting back together with Beyonce and Michelle Williams anytime soon.”

TODAY’S VIDEO
The just turned 18 Taylor Momsen reveals her secret talent and more in a new interview.

VIDEO: CM Punk interrupts Triple H’s speech at Comic-Con

Chris Spags — Thu, 21 Jul 2011 21:08:43 +0000

Comic-Con in San Diego is universally respected as the mecca for nerds and, after comic book and sci-fi geeks had it all to themselves for so long, now it’s time for the wrestling nerds to get their shine. And at the show, fast-rising superstar and WWE Champion CM Punk — currently “not under contract” with WWE — interrupted the WWE panel led by Triple H. If you have any clue what I’m talking about, it’s worth the watch.

Damn if that’s not entertaining. They’re really pushing the envelope and trying to blur the lines of reality with these last few weeks of storylines involving CM Punk and, on last week’s episode of RAW with Vince McMahon getting unceremoniously dumped as chairman of the company. All that’s left is a very special episode where one of the Divas has to get an abortion or wrestling midget leprechaun Hornswoggle finds himself being inappropriately touched by Mark Henry. One can dream.

Celebrity dirt: Ashton Kutcher in an all-out Twitter war plus more of today’s gossip

Douglas Charles — Tue, 05 Jul 2011 16:00:55 +0000

Ashton Kutcher slams Village Voice for alleged child prostitution ties
“How’s the lawsuit from the 15-year-old victim who alleges you helped enslave them going?”

Report: Linda Evangelista’s son fathered by Salma Hayek’s husband
“It looks like Salma Hayek’s husband has some explaining to do.”

Tobey Maguire files response to poker lawsuit
“In his response Maguire admits that he played in several games but denies they were ‘controlled’ or that they were illegal.”

Rob Schneider victim of fake death rumor, comic is alive & well
“Jeff Goldblum was the subject of a similar death-in-Australia rumor in 2008.”

Maria Shriver offered biggest book deal ever for tell-all book
“Maria Shriver could get more than $15 million…”

WWE star hurls homophobic slur at fan
“WWE bad guy CM Punk was caught on camera screaming ‘You homo!’ at a fan during a verbal altercation in Australia…”

Daniel Radcliffe reveals secret alcohol addiction
“Harry Potter’s 22-year-old star admits he became ‘so reliant’ on booze to fuel his days while filming the mega-smash film series in his teen years.”

Lady Gaga to guest-star as judge on So You Think You Can Dance
“Nigel Lythgoe, executive producer and longtime judge on the hit series, has confirmed that Gaga will drop by the set later this season…”

Brooke Mueller officially finishes rehab
“…watching episodes of The World According To Paris has had a serious impact on Brooke.”

DJ Pauly D slapped with $4 million lawsuit
“The DJ-turned-reality star is facing a copyright infringement lawsuit…”

TODAY’S VIDEO
A new alternate version of Beyonce’s “Run the World (Girls)” music video (original version here).

VIDEO: Snooki fights on WWE RAW, will be wrestling at WrestleMania XXVII

Chris Spags — Tue, 15 Mar 2011 03:17:19 +0000

WWE continues its march to April 3rd’s WrestleMania XXVII. And they’re not messing around in terms of booking the big names…first The Rock returns, then “Stone Cold” Steve Austin and, now, “Jersey Shore” guidette Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi will bring her immense athletic talents and propensity to get punched in the face into a WrestleMania XXVII match in Atlanta, Georgia.

On the March 14th episode of “RAW”, Snooki served as the show’s “guest star”. She made her presence known in a couple of charisma-bereft segments, only to find herself face to face with resident bad girls Michelle McCool, Layla, Vickie Guerrero (and her bleached blond lover Dolph Ziggler).

Naturally, the confrontation didn’t end in a spirited game of UNO (sigh…it never does) and the Snookster found herself in fisticuffs that made her look like a young Bastion Booger.

Snooki will team up with formerly retired WWE Diva Trish Stratus (who recently returned to the company as a trainer on the revival of the wrestling company’s reality show “Tough Enough” alongside Steve Austin) and the well-abdominal’d John Morrison.

There’s obviously a lot to love for WWE fans here. Snooki honed her craft as an amateur wrestler, traveling the globe with carnivals and going head to head with both man and bear alike. She will undoubtedly be training 16 hours a day in her dojo in the mountains of Parsippany, New Jersey until her big April 3rd date with destiny. And, if there’s any hope for the rest of us, she’ll don the war paint of the WWE Legend whom she compares stylistically the most to…the Ugandan Giant Kamala.

10 of the silliest pro wrestling characters of all-time

Zack Barangan — Sun, 06 Mar 2011 13:00:51 +0000

Since we crank out so many stories each week some really good ones get lost in the cracks. And since so many new people visit Guyism every day (thank you), we thought we’d start taking some time on the weekends to share some classics that many of our newer readers may have missed.

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Somehow, the world of pro-wrestling has remained a fixture in American entertainment for the better part of the last 100 years or so. If you bring fake matches with men in tights, they will come. Wrestling has since evolved from carnival side-show matches to selling out arenas with thousands of rabid fans. But there’s no denying that, at it’s core, two guys playing a character pretending to hate each other, is just a really silly idea. Here we bring you the silliest, most surreal, wrestling characters that we’ve had the pleasure of watching in the ring.

10 The Gobbledy Gooker
Maybe the World Wrestling Federation’s writers were on a huge Thanksgiving kick. Or maybe they were taking a lot of hallucinogenics. Either way, they thought that having a grown man wearing a turkey costume and hatching from an egg was a character that deserved TV time. Once the Gooker finally got into the ring, he would dance around maniacally, seemingly impervious to the shower of boos being rained upon him. The Gooker was so despised by the wrestling world that a yearly award for the worst wrestling gimmick adopted his name. Cheers Goobledy Gooker, you were the worst of the worst. In this business, that’s an incredible feat.

9 The Yeti
First introduced to the audience as a giant block of mysterious ice, the Yeti was supposed to be another great villain to challenge Hulk Hogan. But when the ice thawed, and it was time to fight, the Yeti turned out to be a guy who looked like the time your kid brother wrapped himself in toilet paper to look like a mummy. The guy also had next to no real in-ring skills to boot. During one of his matches, he botched a simple bear hug so badly that it appeared he was forcing himself onto Hulk Hogan. Later on, the Yeti became a ninja; makes just about as much sense as the rest of the character.

8 Isaac Yankem DDS
Nobody likes to have their teeth drilled, everyone is at least a little bit afraid of going to the dentist. Somehow, the WWF turned this fear into a full-fledged freakazoid character named Isaac Yankem, the mad dentist who would threaten his opponents using dentist cliches. Getting told you’re about to be fit for the biggest pair of braces right before a big match isn’t threatening, it just sounds strange. The most ironic part was that Yankem had a terrible set of pearly whites himself. Thankfully, the WWF saw the error of their ways and Yankem eventually became Kane, the red-masked brother of the Undertaker.

7 The Repo Man
Yet another example of the WWF repackaging a completely innocuous real-life profession and turning it into a wrestling gimmick, the Repo Man was mostly active in the early-90s (the Golden Age of strange wrestling gimmicks.) He wore a Robin-type mask and walked around repossessing wrestlers cars, hats, belts etc. He also talked in a high-pitched voice and tied opponents up with tow wire. The Repo Man always seemed like more of an annoyance rather than a legitimate wrestler. Here’s a question: if he kept stealing things from the other wrestlers, why didn’t they just all corner him in the locker room and beat him up or something?

6 Johnny B. Badd
What do you get when you cross Little Richard, a loose understanding of disco culture, and a pretty bodacious mustache? WCW’s Johnny B. Badd. Whoever wrote this character in must have spent a decent amount of time at the disco clubs. Badd sauntered to the ring wearing a feather boa and about two pounds of makeup. Want to guess how the primarily Southern fans of WCW treated him?

5 PN News
Sometimes trying to get with the times is a good thing, other times it can explode in your face with the force of a nuclear warhead. PN News is an example of the latter. In an attempt to embrace the hip-hop generation, WCW hired the man known as PN News, a really really fat white guy dressed like LL Cool J. News would rap himself to the ring before every match eventually just ending each rap by saying “Yo baby, yo” over and over again. Needless to say, he sucked inside the ring and on the mic.

4 Arachnaman
Spiderman has been a huge hit for fans of all ages for years now. And thanks to the WCW and their lack of knowledge of copyright laws, he briefly appeared in the ring. Arachnaman displayed somewhat superhuman agility, very little personality, and an affinity for silly string. Arachnaman’s theme song is also up there amongst the worst entrance songs in wrestling history. To the surprise of pretty much only the WCW brass, a lawsuit helped make this monstrosity disappear.

3 Giant Gonzalez
These days, if nothing else, professional wrestlers have to be in great shape. Back in the early 90′s if you weren’t in great shape, it was no problem. All they would have to do is send you to wardrobe where they’d set you up with a t-shirt with painted on muscles and some hair implants that covered your shoulders and groin. And despite his wardrobe, Giant Gonzalez may be most famous for his match against the Undertaker at Wrestlemania IX, a match he lost by DQ after using chloroform to knock out his opponent. Classy.

2 Loch Ness
Legend has it that in the murky waters of Loch Ness lives a monster that terrorizes the people. Somehow, this was turned into having a big fat guy wear a garbage man’s outfit to the ring. This mythological beast could barely perform a running elbow drop without almost collapsing from exhaustion. In terms of in-ring athletic ability, Loch Ness made Andre the Giant look like Jordan. Thankfully, the character has since retreated back in to the lake of terrible ideas from whence he came.

1 The Shockmaster
If pictures tell a thousand words, you need only to look at the photo of our friend the Shockmaster above to know the story. The Shockmaster was supposed to be the mysterious partner of Sting to help him fend off his foes. But it’s pretty doubtful that anyone purposefully would have requested a guy wearing a Storm Trooper helmet and a garbage bag. The Shockmaster’s crowning moment was during his debut when he quite literally fell through a wall and flat on his face. Phenomenal. Just phenomenal.

“The Rock” returns to wrestling to guest host WWE’s WrestleMania XXVII pay-per-view

Chris Spags — Tue, 15 Feb 2011 14:30:34 +0000

After spending almost a decade disavowing his storied history in the WWE to chase a movie career and mainstream credibility, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson returned to WWE. On Monday night’s live episode of USA’s “Monday Night Raw”, Johnson returned to his old stomping grounds during the show to announce he’ll be a part of the 2011 iteration of WrestleMania as the show’s guest host.

WWE had seemed to be grasping at straws as of late to find a newsworthy hook for the 2011 show, following the hype of 2007′s “Hair Vs. Hair” match featuring Donald Trump and Vince McMahon, 2008′s wrestling debut for Floyd Mayweather Jr., and last year’s retirement of wrestling legend Shawn Michaels.

The early returns look good for the wrestling promotion. “#therock” was a trending topic on Twitter minutes after Johnson’s entrance video and interview segment aired on the show.

Johnson also set up a confrontation with current WWE golden boy and pseudo film star John Cena, saying that part of the reasoning for his return was to get in Cena’s face after Cena bashed Johnson to the press for leaving WWE for his movie career.

During his interview on “Raw”, Johnson claimed he was back not to promote a new movie, but rather was with WWE “to stay.” But will he be there long-term to bring the business of sports entertainment back to where it was when he left? WWE is hoping you’ll tune in when WrestleMania airs on April 3, 2011, to find out.

So what do you think? Is the return of “The Rock” enough to get you back into the show?

9:30AM EASTERN UPDATE: Videos of the appearance are now below.