A Conversation with the PC(Politically Correct) Police

Me: Hey, did you hear that story about the Santa’s in Australia not saying Ho, Ho, Ho and instead replacing it with Ha, Ha, Ha.

PC Police: Yes, I stepped in because I found it insulting to women

Me: But this is Ho without an E

PC Police: Doesn’t matter. Women find it degrading when the word ho is used.

Me: But Santa isn’t saying it to women, he is saying it to kids in general.

PC Police: I don’t care

Me: Ok, anyways, you comin to my Christmas Party or what?

PC Police: Your what?

Me: Christmas Party

PC Police: Ahem….That’s holiday party you mean

Me: Nope, Christmas Party. I celebrate Christmas, I don’t celebrate anything else.

PC Police: That’s offensive to Non-christians everywhere. Muslims, Jews, Hindus, Atheists, Leprechauns, and ET

Me: What!….ET is not even real

PC Police: You’re right, he’s not real, but if he was, he wouldnt celebrate Christmas

Me: But Im not forcing people to celebrate Christmas. If you want to come and you dont celebrate, then just pretend its just a regular party. Hek, the Jews can bring their menora if they want. And then we can play around with the dradle.

PC Police: Wow, I havent taught you anything have I?

Me: Apparently not.

PC Police: So what we gonna eat at your place?

Me: Cheese and Crackers, probably some dip, and pizza

PC Police: Nope

Me: What do you mean nope?

PC Police: Well, to start, the word crackers is offensive to white people. And having cheese and pizza is offensive to the lactose intolerant. Also, your insulting all the minorities by not including their kind of food.

Me: Um, ok, what would you suggest?

PC Police: Id blend some curry with hummus and then throw some matzah balls with it. That way everybody is happy. Oh yeah, and have some reese’s pieces for ET

Me: Dude, nobody is coming if I serve that junk.

PC Police: I’m coming

Me: I almost wish you weren’t now, can I rescind my invitation?

PC Police: I’m coming whether you like it or not, I invite myself to places even when its not appropriate.

Me: You’re starting to piss me off PC Police. Seriously, suck my balls

PC Police: what?

Me: Suck my balls

PC Police: Well, that’s actually offensive to men who only have 1 ball. You know, the guys who had testicular cancer and had to get a testicle removed. You are offending them by using the plural form.

Me: I think you’ve gone too far

PC Police: Don’t offend near

Me: UGH!

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