A NERF chaingun and a helpful chart on what to say during sex

This is your last update of 2008 so I should make it a good one. Only I’m not because there’s f’ing nothing extremely funny on the Internet right now (see what happens when I take a semi-vacation?) and I’m a lazy lazy man when I don’t “have” to do work. So here’s the best things I could find.

Nerds mod NERF gun to make it superpowered

I have no technical abilities whatsoever when it comes to building things or fixing things (once I tried changing the battery on my remote and it caught on fire and called me racial epithets) so I’m easily impressed by stuff like this. Some dudes modified a NERF chain gun and made it into a monster that shoots 500 rounds per minute. Take a look.

This is really helpful if you not only want to be a pedophile and lure kids in with awesome toys, but then also torture them with said awesome toys. It’s really got a dual functionality that can’t be beat there.

In related news, at approximately 5 times in my adult life, I’ve bought a NERF gun on a whim at a toy store. Then I brought it home and shot it at friends for approximately 10 minutes and got bored and never touched it again. This has to be at least 10% of NERF’s sales, right?

Sexy times

It’s New Year’s tomorrow and since there’s a decent chance that a good majority of you may end up in the company of another individual in a sexy way, you may want to heed the wisdom of this chart.

I highly recommend the “I pooped on myself” usage. It not only breaks the ice, but also proves that you’re very comfortable around your partner, which shows trust. Chicks dig trust. Granted, the ends may not justify the means, but eh. Everyone loves crap. Monkeys…uh…fetishists…all the important power players, really.

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