Bank robbers finally embrace Web 2.0

File this under The Most Brilliant Crime Ever Perpetrated in Reality…a guy “hired” a bunch of Craigslist people to serve as decoys in his armed robbery. Here’s the story.

In a move that could be right out of a Hollywood movie, a brazen crook apparently used a Craigslist ad to hire a dozen unsuspecting decoys to help him make his getaway following a robbery outside a bank on Tuesday. He then made his escape in an inner tube on the Skykomish River.

The robbery happened about 11 a.m. on an armored truck guard at a Bank of America branch.

“He was wearing a dust mask, a particle mask. At first I thought it might be a surgical mask. I still didn’t think anything was wrong, just unusual. Then I noticed he had a pump sprayer,” said Mitch Ruth, who had looked out his office window and noticed the man walking into the bank.
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The robber sprayed the guard with pepper spray, grabbed a bag of money the guard was carrying and ran about 100 yards to the creek that runs into the Skykomish River, shedding clothes as he ran.

But apparently, the robber had planned ahead. In case anyone was hot on his trail, he had at least a dozen unsuspecting decoys waiting nearby, which he recruited on Craigslist.

He said he inquired and was e-mailed back with instructions to meet near the Bank of America in Monroe at 11 a.m. Tuesday. He also was told to wear certain work clothing.

“Yellow vest, safety goggles, a respirator mask… and, if possible, a blue shirt,” he said.

Mike showed up along with about a dozen other men dressed like him, but there was no contractor and no road work to be done. He thought they had been stood up until he heard about the bank robbery and the suspect who wore the same attire.

On the one hand, the guy totally committed a crime. On the other hand, he did it brilliantly and with quite a bit of pizazz. In most circles, this type of clever monetary thievery from the general public would be rewarded…with a $700 million government bailout. Ohhhhhh topical humor! So fresh!

If this were a movie with Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro, whichever one was playing the Craigslist criminal would have gotten away and the other would have made some wry look like, “Maaaan, this guy is gooooood.” Then there’d be another hour and a half of hamming it up and they’d have a one-on-one scene where they play chess and then the Craigslist criminal dies and he’s like, “If I had to be caught, I’m glad it was you. Friend.” Because really, they were like kindred spirits. They just happened to be on divergent paths.

In real life, this guy probably celebrated his crime by revisiting his old Craigslist stomping grounds and got himself an Asian ladyboy for affordable rates. Real life: not so glamorous.

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