Barbie is old

I’ve gotten this video from the Tonight Show sent to me literally three times today so I guess I should post it. Barbie’s turning 50 years old this week, so that officially qualifies her as a cougar. And what better way to celebrate that than with a special toy.

The whole concept of cougars kind of grosses me out and not just because I think sex should be legally tied solely to the functionality of your ovaries. What bothers me moreso is the delusion in thinking that you’re hot. Whether it’s an old overly tanned lady or a fat black chick or a sassy paraplegic on an episode of Jerry Springer, none of you are attractive. You’re at best a last resort and the only solace I can take in the fact that men continue to utilize you as a living waste receptacle is knowing that every day you have to look at yourself and convince yourself that you’re worthwhile.

On the other hand, easy vagina! High five!

[Courtesy of Yesbutnobutyes and The High Definite and Becky]



---
Did you like this article? And you probably like contests, exclusive content, and smug commentary right? Then why aren't you liking Guyism on Facebook? Show some pride and click the "Like" button below right now:


Chris Spags "Internet Heartthrob" Chris Spags is a former comic and the founding editor of Guyism.com. In addition to overseeing all Guyism content and business development, he covers Humor for the site daily. He was recognized on the street once and it was awesome.

More from Chris Spags       Follow Chris Spags on Twitter

Find Guyism Online

--- WATCH OUR LATEST GUYISM ORIGINAL! ---

Join the Discussion