Beer pong doesn't give you herpes, unless you're Fox News

Chris Spags Founder and Editor

Stephen Colbert completely skewered Fox and Friends for its story on beer pong leading to disease according to a report by the Center for Disease Control (that was completely made up). The extremely informative report by Fox News is below.

Researching is overrated though. Like, who cares if a report is real or not? It’s way easier and way more fun to just make crap up and present it as fact. For example: The Muslims are using LOLcat pictures to dumb down mainstream America so that they can launch a series of cat-based dirty bomb attacks. Did you know that? Well it’s true. I saw it on the FBI’s Web site. It was in there. Oh God, wait, I own a cat. Oh…oh no. Wait, didn’t I just make this fact up? I’m so confused! So I guess the point is that if there’s a video of my adorable cat Nilla beheading me in front of a flag with a picture of Garfield and Arab scribblings, you’ll know why.

Also, pro tip: The main way you get herpes from beer pong is by inserting your penis into the water cup you wash the ping pong ball with and then drinking it. And it will impress people much less than you think. But be slightly more delicious. I assume everyone has strawberry flavored lotions produced from their pores like I do. It’s a serious condition. Seriously delicious.

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