Best. Spam. Ever.

Chris Spags Founder and Editor

I get a lot of crapty emails on this site but this one that I got in my spam box this morning tickled me immensely. The subject: “Agency for Human Trafficking Education”.

human trafficking Best. Spam. Ever.

from Frank Lendon
reply-to franklendon@mail2consultant.com
to undisclosed-recipients
date Fri, Sep 19, 2008 at 4:08 AM
subject Agency for Human Trafficking Eradication

Dear Sir/Madam,

My name is Frank Lendon of the Agency for Human Trafficking Eradication, based in the UK.
Currently, I have just been granted funding by various organizations to help me in my endeavor of
freeing the Sex Slaves coming in from African countries to Europe, as my organization is set to
fight any form of Trafficking. But there are constrains hindering the funding getting to me.
Based on what some of the donors called money laundering indexes they would want me to have
accounts in their countries for fear of complicity in aiding terrorist. My financial advisor
therefore advised me to take agents in various countries that will be on commission of 10% for
collections of all donations.
I will be glad if you could work with me as my
Representative in your country. You will be working as my payment Assistant receiving the payments
from my donors Since they will be making the donation in checks made payable only to people in
their area you will be obtaining this payment and cashing them on my behalf. On agreement to been
my representative, you will receive a commission of 10% of whatever amount of payment you receive
from my these donors.
Receive payments from my donors through bank transfers into your bank account, in form of money
orders/checks from my
each donor via mail (UPS/FEDEX/DHL). Cash the payments at your Bank. Deduct 10%, which will be your
commission on payment processed. You are to remit the balance according to my in depth mandate. You
will be helping people as well as making a small fortune for your retirement. However, you have to
be:

i) 18 years and above.
ii) Legally capable.
iii) Responsible, Reliable and Trustworthy.
iv) Able to check and acknowledge to emails often.
v) Telephone access.
I hope all is well understood. I would be glad if you accept to help in this fight against this
malicious practice and fight against HIV and Aids.
Please send immediately the followings mailing address with zip code and telephone numbers to
franklendon@yahoo.co.uk
Regards,
Frank Lendon

So yeah, ignoring the scuzzinesss of using a serious global issue to try to get me to send you money in some Nigerian fund scam and ignoring the fact that clearly I would love to own slaves, sexual or otherwise (know your audience), this is probably my most favorite email that I’ve ever received. Perhaps even moreso than the Evite I got to the dicksucking contest. Ru Paul just isn’t the draw he once was.

Also, it’s worth noting that I get a couple dozen emails from publicists every day and use maybe one of their items a week. Meanwhile, I run an email from a human trafficking spammer verbatim. My priorities are in order.

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