Clowns want to rape you…and make you pay for it

Do you like clowns? If the answer is yes, I hope your dementia is treating you well. But even if you do like clowns, you may want to reevaluate that stance when you see this special deal on eBay.

Check out the original listing here or click through to see the larger image

From the listing:

Afraid of Clowns? Ever see a movie with a creepy clown and get scared to death? Believe it or not, there are people out there who like to be scared. This idea came to me when a friend mentioned they love scary movies and the thrill it gives them. This auction is for a 3 day thrill ride through your greatest fear! ~CLOWNS~!!!! I will dress up as a clown and scare you for 3 days STRAIGHT, everywhere you go, I will follow, dressed as a clown. When you least expect it – BOOM!!! There I’ll be to creeper you out! This is something you will only want to experience once. LIVE your SCARIEST MOVIE SCENES! Included in this auction, is my travel expenses to wherever you live to give you 3 days of creepy, clowny excitement! BID NOW AND EXPERIENCE this once in a lifetime Thrill…. Are you Brave Enough? *This is meant for entertainment purposes only, no harm will come to you from this, just scariest thrill of a lifetime! Live a haunted house come to life for 3 entire days.

Someone paid $355 for this. You know how many things you can buy for $355 these days? Good to see that the “Pay a Clown to Scare You Shitless” industry is still going strong.

Let’s say someone paid a clown to stalk me because apparently my friends are not only wealthy and bored, but also hate me. I would probably just spot the clown and pretend I had a clown fetish. Nothing would freak a clown out more than A) Someone actually liking him and B) Sucking on his red clown nose seductively. Unless he liked it and went along with it. Then, well, I guess I’d have to not chicken out. No clown gets the moral higher ground on me. NO CLOWN.

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