Congrats, you're in an iPhone app

I’d like to applaud you, dear reader, for making your first appearance in an iPhone app! Bad news: Kidfery just got a bit harder.

All 50 states in the US require those convicted of sexual offences to sign a register so that their whereabouts can be tracked and monitored. The information is also freely available online. ThinAir Wireless, the developer of the Offender Locator application, has used this database to build the tool.

Offender Locator uses the iPhone’s built-in GPS to pinpoint the user’s location, and then provide a map listing sex offenders in the local area. Tapping on one of the ‘pins’ dropped on to the map brings up a photograph of the offender, as well as their address, date of birth and list of convictions.

Users can also search for sex offenders living nearby a friend or colleague whose address is stored in their Apple iPhone address book, or they can type in a street address to generate a list of convicted sex offenders in the local area. There are around 50,000 registered sex offenders in the United States.

That seems useful but these maps are always kind of disturbing. Especially when you load it up and it looks like your map is filled with an interpretive recreation of Nena’s 99 Luftballons. I’m sure it’s not true, but people imagine that it’s so bad in areas that dense, that if you’re carrying a My Buddy doll, it’ll quickly look like it’s getting sprayed by a yogurt hose when you walk it home. An actual child? Like a Guy-in-Glasses-and-Wispy-Mustache Cock Car Wash.

But what about fairness in the free market? Parents may buy this tool to gain a competitive advantage, but what about one for the sex offenders? Sure, it doesn’t need to cater to really sick perverts because they’re terrible people, but would it kill some app to give me a heads up on high school seniors with no real opposition to statutory rape and a need for booze? This media isn’t social enough for practical purposes, I’ll tell you that much.

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