Cross-dressing clowns are always causing problems

Chris Spags Founder and Editor

Parades in general can get pretty out of hand. But even still, it’s hard to say any has gotten quite as out of hand as Denver’s Pridefest, in which a cross-dressing clown committed a robbery at gunpoint.

357513486 f854d38308 Cross dressing clowns are always causing problems
Not the clown in question, but you’d be surprised at how few cross-dressing clowns the Internet yields

The Boulder Police Department is looking for a cross-dressing man wearing clown makeup who robbed a liquor store on Saturday night.

Boulder police spokeswoman Sarah Huntley said officers received a call from the Boulder Beer Emporium, on the 4700 block of Table Mesa Drive, just before midnight. The caller said that the store was robbed.

The witnesses described the robber as a man wearing red and white face makeup, a red and purple wig, a fake nose and a denim dress. Employees told police they didn’t think anything was peculiar when he walked into the store because of the Pridefest events happening over the weekend in Denver, Huntley said.

The clerk said the man walked up to an employee in the store and asked for help in a feminine voice, saying, “Will you help me? My husband is out of work.”

After being rebuked by the employee, the man walked to the checkout stand and showed the clerk a pistol.

The man did not take any beer or liquor and left with an undisclosed amount of money, Huntley said. The robber fled on foot just as two other customers were walking into the store, Huntley said.

You know whom I’m really concerned for? The gay cross-dressing clowns who don’t rob liquor stores. They’re just trying to live a normal life filled with clown make-up, shopping at Lane Bryant, and sodomy. They don’t need this social stigma hanging over their head.

This really should be taken as a wake-up call for Gay Pride parades across the country though. A cross-dressing clown came into a liquor store during a Gay Pride Parade and the store owner didn’t find this unusual. If that’s not a sign that you need to tone it down a bit, I don’t know what is.

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