Dogs are the cutest rapists ever

Posted by Chris Spags on April 30th, 2009 at 12:55 pm

I know, rape is never funny. UNLESSSSS it’s done by a dog on a grandma for 40 seconds while everyone in the family just stands there watching.

It’s very cute to watch when a dog does it (and you’re not the victim), much less cute when it’s a guy fresh out of jail named Chooch. I imagine he prefers to rape the elderly women primarily because they have the skin that most closely resembles Snausages.

If it were up to me, this is pretty much how every edition of Clifford the Big Red Dog would have gone. And then the neighborhood gets drowned in a sea of dog jizm. It’s a kids’ book, whatever. You could pretty much draw mass genocide for 20 pages and if it rhymes and they have smiley faces on, the kids’ll just drool and be completely content.

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Chris Spags "Internet Heartthrob" Chris Spags is a former comic and the founding editor of Guyism.com. In addition to overseeing all Guyism content and business development, he covers Humor for the site daily. He was recognized on the street once and it was awesome.